Its over.
At first, you try to disregard it – you try to ignore it, drown yourself with work and empty promises. You try to push on without your right-hand woman, despite the obvious disadvantage her absence gives you. You pretend as if everything's fine, creating a mask of calmness and order for your team.
But, you can't do it forever.
And it kills you.
Over a decade of laughs, pain, and tears, and yet it all crumbles at the sight of the day where you are now, standing at your desk and watching her say her goodbyes and go, leaving for what seems like the billionith time but by far the most important one.
This is the one she'll never return from. At least, not as your partner.
"She's not your partner anymore." How scary is that, to know that she won't be there to comfort you, or work with you, or race on a real-live racetrack with you? After ten years, you're parting ways. And it will probably stay that way.
You can't help but be a little angry – a left field uppercut that you failed to see coming. Hell, who did see this coming? You sure as hell didn't – and if you didn't no one did. Why didn't she tell you anything beforehand, give you fair warning? It's almost as if she was being selfish, and this entire thing was as impulsive as she was when she left for Greece. It feels to you… like she abandoned her team, her hard work, and you.
But, you know that's not true. She would NEVER abandon her teammates, NEVER.
She wouldn't, right?
None of that matters now, anyway. What matters is that she's gone. Finished. Over. She's made her choice, and now she's living with it.
So, you say goodbye to her, hug her one last time, whisperer in her ear what you say to anyone who has helped out the lab, "Come and visit us. The lab is always open for you." For the first time, those words are truly and sincerely meant. And she'll just smile, give you her thanks, and walk away. Just simply walk away.
So, she's in the elevator. The doors are closing, and you cant help but feel the impulse of running to her and doing something, anything to try to get her back. But, you stay frozen, and your eyes lock with hers until the door closes.
You were the last thing she saw in this lab. There's a sense of nostalgic honor in that.
A couple of minutes later, everyone is back at their stations, working on the latest case as if nothing happened. You finally go to your desk, look over the newbie from Washington DC, try to get everything back to normal. She seems promising, but you can't help but think about your newly lost partner.
Despite it all, you know that she'll never leave that one place in your heart that even hell can't reach. Just like the place in your heart for your wife, you know that when you find yourself missing her, you'll find her there.
Forever your partner.
Forever your best friend.
Forever your love.
Stella Bonasera.