Disclaim: I don't own CSI or the characters, etc.
I listened to a lot of OK Go when writing this yarn, so if you want to get into my head, try reading the story with them in the background. They're fun!
And many thanks to my beta, never-with-you, in helping me keep my work squeaky clean. Thanks a bunch!
Henry Andrews just didn't get it. Or maybe he did; he was so confused he hardly knew what he understood to be true. There he sat, once again, between David Hodges and Wendy Simms as they flirted over lunch (or whatever you would call a meal at 12:30 in the morning.) Originally part of the discussion, Andrews realized he was going to be invisible for the next fifteen minutes- or until they were interrupted- while they verbally made out. He just couldn't understand why it had to be this way. If all of human actions and emotions were based on chemical reactions, then, by some bizarre requirement of science, Henry realized he was a necessary component in the Wendy/Hodges combustion process. Not that he was fond of his position in their chemical equation-it grew increasingly uncomfortable with every occurrence because Henry knew, he knew that one of these days, when that ridiculous amount of sexual tension between the two partners finally snapped and they just started necking on the break room table, he was going to be there.
He gagged on one of his Lucky potato chips at the mental image, breaking the spell that Hodges and Wendy had placed on each other. Their heads snapped simultaneously at him, and Wendy, realizing that he was turning blue, ran over and smacked him on the back until the chip dislodged itself in his throat.
"Hey, hey, are you alright, Henry? Just breathe a little, ok?" Wendy said calmly, still patting his back. Henry managed a nod and a weak smile and a "thank you" as Wendy sat herself down next to Hodges again.
"Nice job, Wonder Woman." Hodges jabbed at her, smirking. She locked her eyes on her rhetorical dueling partner and Henry realized, once more, that he had fallen off the grid again. Where's the popcorn? Andres mused. This one should be interesting.
"Hey, don't knock it. With my indestructible bracelets and Whip of Truth, I'd save the LVPD a lot of trouble," she claimed, placing her fists on her hips as in the iconic picture of the heroine.
Hodges raised an eyebrow at, what Henry thought, was the idea of Wendy in the superhero's outfit.
"I'd like to see that," he cocked an eyebrow "and it's the Lasso of Truth. I know I wouldn't want to be anywhere near you if you had that thing handy." Hodges pushed his chair out from the table, Wendy's eyes following him as he stood.
"Why would that bother you, Hodges? Got a deep, dark secret to hide?" she probed, standing up herself. Besides the fact that he spends about half of his shift staring at you from his office like a lovesick twelve year-old, no. Andrews mentally answered to himself.
The two techs stood almost nose-to-nose, Wendy's heels making her almost equal in height to the older man. Hodges cocked his head to the side and crossed his arms, about to say something when Mandy walked in and then halted in her tracks at the sight of the two standing so very close. She flashed a look at Henry that said 'What the hell is going on here?' to which Andrews silently shrugged in uncertainty.
Hodges glanced at Mandy and, unsteady now, returning his eyes to Wendy replied "Well, I…um…I'm the one who keeps dumping out Greg's Blue Hawaiian coffee. The stuff tastes like motor oil. Oh, and I drive the Bat-Mobile to work." He smirked queasily, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and brushed past Mandy as he practically sprinted out the door.
At his exit, Mandy vocalized her earlier question "What the hell just happened here?" to which Wendy, still somewhat in the past moment, replied dully, "I don't know, but I think I'm going to let it go this time." Blinking and regaining her composure, she swallowed and blurted, "I've got a hell of a backload; I'll see you two for breakfast?" to which Mandy and Henry nodded in agreement. After the DNA tech slipped out of earshot, Mandy plopped into the chair adjacent to Henry.
"Okay, you have to tell me everything! What went down? Did he say something again? You're there almost every time something happens between those two!" Mandy was bursting with excitement and curiosity.
"I know," Andrews replied with a chuckle "weird how that works, huh?"
Ze end, my dears. Just a fun little one-shot, that's all. Hope to see you all on the review board! Haha, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!