This story started simple like so many of mine do... and then took on a life of its own. So, this is the first part. There are other parts which I will post soon.

Summary: Mustang and Ed have a secret. You'll see what it is very quickly.

WARNING: This is a gay story. Ed/Roy Don't like it don't read it. Right now there's nothing graphic, just kisses and cuddles.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own FMA, but oh if I did... I would be able to pay for graduate school.

It was a secret. A simple secret that Ed kept. He went up to Roy's office late that night. He'd been doing this for a few months now. When he first heard that Maes Hughes had died, he had gone to see Roy and found one very drunk and heart-broken man. With Ed's crush on Roy in full swing and with a desire to cheer the guy up, Ed had kissed him. They didn't do much that first time. Ed just sat in Roy's lap for a couple of hours and they kissed and cuddled. Roy just needed something. He needed something to get by and Ed was more than willing to give it to him. But that was all it was. Something Roy needed. Ed had no illusions about it. He knew it would be nothing else. Tonight was going to be the same. At least, that's what Ed thought.

Ed was straddling Roy's legs while Roy sat in his office chair. Their gloves were gone. Roy's hands were under Ed's now open jacket and kissing his neck. Ed sighed and let his head fall back to give Roy better access. His hands were also under Roy's open jacket and exploring the thin torso of his commanding officer. That was when he noticed something different.

"New furniture Roy?" Ed said. Roy pulled away so that they were looking each other in the eye.

"Since when do you care about my interior decorating skills?" said Roy with a touch of annoyance.

"The chair." Roy was furrowing his brows together now.

"What?"

"The chair. I usually sit on your lap sideways with my legs dangling over the arm of the chair. The chair was always too small for me to do this. This is a different chair."

"So?" Roy said quietly. The annoyance had drained from his voice. He almost sounded... embarassed? Ed pushed Roy's coat off his shoulders and Roy pulled his arms out of the sleeves. He pushed Ed's coat off his shoulders as well and let it fall to the floor.

"Be careful Roy," Ed whispered in his ear. "I just might start thinking you care about me and these little evenings that we have together." Roy's bare fingers slid up under Ed's undershirt and kissed Ed gently on the mouth.

"What if I do?" Roy whispered. Ed pulled away and looked at Roy. Roy's eyes stared straight back.

"What?" said Ed in a small whisper. Roy could see the question in Ed's face. He had to reassure Ed of this.

"I said what if I do?" Roy took in a deep breath and tried to pull together the courage to speak further. It all came out quickly and he knew that his voice sounded broken and needy, but he didn't care anymore. "I do care about you. I do care about these nights with you. More than you know." He hoped that Ed wasn't about to run like he feared. Ed seemed more shocked than scared at the moment. Ed's human fingers drifted up from Roy's shoulder and gently pushed Roy's hair away from his forehead. He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Roy's forehead. Roy's eyes closed and wished he could live in this moment forever. Ed kissed Roy on the cheek next, then on the lips, and finally on the neck before resting his head on Roy's shoulder and both of them putting their arms tightly around each other. At least he wasn't running away. He wasn't talking, but he wasn't running away either. When he felt Ed start to pull away he didn't stop him. Ed got up off the chair and collected his black and red coats from the floor. Roy thought he was about to leave. But Ed threw the coats on the couch and pulled up another chair that was near by so that he was sitting right next to Roy. Roy turned in his swivel chair so that they were facing each other.

"I care about you too Roy," said Ed. "And I do care about these little secret nights with you too. They've been the highlight of my week for months now. Just getting to see you without any of the others is a thrill to me. Getting to kiss you and hold you is... gods... it's heaven." Roy felt his heart lurch at Ed's words. "That first night I came up here, when I heard that Hughes had died? I knew that you would be upset. So was I. And I had... have a crush on you. Feels like more than a crush these days if I was honest. But I know that you loved Hughes." Roy looked at him with shock in his eyes. "Roy, you were careful, but not that careful. It was the little things that gave the two of you away. A change in tone, the quiet drinks of just the two of you, the looks, and one night when I was going on about in anger he let slip that you and he were lovers once. I want to make sure that this... whatever it may be isn't just a rebound for you because of Maes. I care about you too much for that. I think I might love you, Roy. And if you want me to, I can wait until you know that you are over Maes and you can love me. But I won't do this... I don't want to try to be with you if I'm just going to be a rebound that you will leave behind once you are over Maes." Roy couldn't believe that this kid was so perceptive and so old for his age. How could this kid know all of this? He slowly took in a breath and tried to come up with an answer, an honest answer.

"I... I don't know," said Roy quietly. "I know that I care about you. I know that I feel... something for you. Something beyond just care and concern. I don't know if you are just a rebound because I lost Hughes. Although Hughes and I haven't been lovers for years. Not since he got married. But you probably already know, I never got over him and I never stopped loving him. I don't know what I want this to be. I just know that I don't want to hurt you. And maybe... maybe I should take some time and figure out if I still love him or if I'm over him. I don't want to loose you."

"You won't. I can promise you that. No matter what you decide or realize, I will never stop being your friend. And you won't loose me. And I will never regret what we did."

"I won't either. I'm sorry..."

"Don't apologize. It's something I've been meaning to say to you for a while. But I just figured that you would tire of me and leave me to the way side long before now."

"I will never tire of you. You are too beautiful for that." Roy reached out and gently stroked Ed's face. Ed leaned into the touch and closed his eyes. Ed heard Roy's chair creak and soon felt the lips he knew so well pressing against his. Roy's kiss was always gentle and yet still felt like fire burning through his veins. Roy reached out and pulled Ed into his lap once again. Only this time Ed was sitting sideways with his legs hanging over the arm of the chair.

"I have to go with Al tomorrow," said Ed quietly. "We'll be gone... for a while." He kissed Roy again. "I'll call when we're close again."

"Promise?"

"Of course I promise. I promise." Ed kissed him one last time and then swiftly got up, grabbed his coats, and walked to the door. "I promise," Ed said one last time before he opened the door and walked out. Given Ed's track record on keeping promises, Roy wasn't that sure, but he still had hope.