Maybe there is no tomorrow..

Feet's make clouds of dust as she walks down the gravel road. A cigaret carelessly between her lips. Eyes hidden behind her sunglasses and her cap. Her pale skin browned by the hours of walking in the sun. She feels the straps of her backpack painfully cut into her skin as she walks on. The sun is slowly going down. The sky has turned dark red.
As she spots the town she sees the eagle fly high above her as if he is following her. 'Strike swiftly, buddy,' she says as a lonely tear slips down her cheek. 'I am bringing him home,' she whispers,' I am bringing him home the way he wanted to come home.' As soon as her boots touch the tarmac she stop. Hands trembling. The cars behind her stop too. Waiting for what she will do. She grabs the badge from her pocket and keeps it in the last sunlight of the day. 'I am missing you so much, asshole,' she mumbles,' you gave it all while you promised not to. that makes you an understandable dick head.' One look over her shoulder and a small hand gesture and the silent procession moves on. She walks, on her own, in front of the humvees, the hearse, motorcycles, and following cars.
The people on the side of the road salute one by one. Flags go up and wave in the little breeze. Salute shots sound as the Sergeant shouts at his man. Tomorrow will be the last ride. As so many have had, unfortunately.
She kneels down by his set up gun. Hand on his helmet, the other on one of his boots. The one he always complained about. It seems so long ago now. To long ago maybe. Tears fall down and create a little mud pool.
'All gave some, and some gave all,' his voice says in her head. She knew it was true, but now.. It all seems so stupid. No one speaks as she kneels there for over two hours. It's pitch black when she gets up again. Stars shining bright. She chuckles when she thinks 'you're one of them now'.
'Goodnight sunshine,' she says, salutes and walks inside their house. Just as she used to do. His body in his own bed as it had to be. she doesn't sleep, but just waits until the morning comes. Her brother has to carry her out of the room, because she can't leave him, but she has too. 'Let's put on your uniform,' says her best friend after she has tended to her cuts from her backpack.

Goodnight Sunshine

Time flies. Not only when you are having fun, but they don't tell you that. Sure, it drags sometimes, but most of time you don't even notice how fast it goes. Ever calculated how many days you have lived? And how many of those you spend in misery? In happiness? You probably haven't...
I lived 9137 days and I still don't know what the hack I am doing. I realize that as I walk down in my uniform. And it isn't down the aisle if you're wondering. He died. He died, that's what I am constantly thinking. He'll never come home to his Mom like she imagined. Us showing up to the door, together. No, he came back in a casket. I can't help but wonder where he is now. If he is happy now.
He is close, I can feel it. Closer then we might have ever been at home. We carry him down to the stage. His guarde dog walks with us. It all seems so terrible familiar to me. All his friends are over here. Instead of smiles they wear tears. Instead of baggy clothes they wear sharply cut suits and uniforms. Badges and roses glint in the half lighted church.
Speeches go by in a second. All that they say is true. Tears flow down my face and I don't even bother to wipe them away anymore. I must let him go and burry him when they stop talking. It will mean that I really have to let him go. That he left me. That we won't ever see another spring together. That our children will never run on this very same earth. That the trips we came up with won't ever happen. It's the hardest thing to think of. I see him in a white Angel dress with wings and smile a little.
I wonder if he just whispered that in my ear to cheer me up. Probably. 'Goodbye Jonathan,' I whisper,' I will always keep you with me.' The ceremony ends in a blur. People hug me still in tears. Shovel after shovel of earth lands on his casket and slowly it disappears for good. He won't walk the surface of this earth in this body again. And that sucks. But time flies. Not only when you are having fun, but they don't tell you that. It doesn't drag today, which doesn't mean it won't tomorrow. Or any moment now. I wished it would, so the final sight of his casket doesn't disappear out of my sight. But time doesn't drag when you want it too. It flies. Faster then ever. And before I know the earth swallowed him, my knees hit the dirt. Hard. And he is gone.
Time flies. Even when it should drag. But they don't tell you that. Time sucks.