Inside Voices: Saving Grace

Chapter 1

"Look at me, you may think you see who I really am, but you'll never know me. Every day I play a part. Now I see, if I wear a mask, I can fool the world but I cannot fool my heart."

Reflection by Christina Aquilera

I stare into the vanity mirror studying the reflection looking back at me. Emerald eyes circled in slate grey liner, smoky silver and lavender shadow and false lashes with tiny rhinestones at the upper eye lid line. Burgundy stained lips with merlot colored liner all framed by shoulder length, wavy red locks. To be honest, after 4 years I still forget this is what I look like sometimes.

"Gracie" Declan says from outside the dressing room door "You have 15 minutes."

"Thanks Declan" I call back.

I stand from the vanity chair and walk to the dressing room closet. I remove my red silk robe and hang it on the hook next to the closet door. Tonight's costume is one of my favorites. Black satin corset with laces up the front and sparkling rhinestones on the low cut neckline. Nothing like putting a target on the prize I laugh to myself as I step into the matching black lace boy shorts and pull them up over the flesh tone panty hose. As a finishing touch I tie the black and silver mask around my head.

I walk to the full length mirror and examine the finished product. I turn a full 360, carefully checking to make sure the line on the back of the panty hose is straight and the laces of the corset are pulled tight. I adjust the boy shorts so only a hint of my ass is showing below. I'm not above teasing, but I don't want to give them a full show for free.

As I slide my foot into a leather thigh-high stiletto boot, the dressing room door opens and I look up.

"Hey Genesis" I say.

"Hey girl, you look sexy tonight" she replies. "You up next?"

"Yes ma'am, time to go make the big bucks" I chuckle.

"Looking like that, you will. Baby girl, you ever gonna' let these poor suckers see your face?" She asks.

"You know me, gotta' keep the mystery alive" I laugh as I slide on my other boot and zip it. She's always respected my need for privacy about the mask, it just isn't a story I am ready to tell, I'm not sure I ever will be.

Genesis has been my roommate since I dragged my sorry ass into this club 4 years ago. I was in a really bad place in my life. I'd been drinking and smoking my way through the western states for a few months living off of an inheritance and wasn't really sure where I'd land. I stopped in a club just outside of Reno looking for a drink and a place to regroup after driving for a few hours.

A week later I was living in Genesis' spare bedroom and waiting tables at Inside Voices. Looking back, I still don't know how it happened but I'm glad it did. After a few months Jameson caught me singing to myself as I did my side work after my shift and asked if I wanted to try my hand at performing. I was hesitant at first, my goal had been to blend in, but Jameson promised the money would be worth it. My only condition had been that I got to continue to wear my mask. Jameson figured he could sell the "woman of mystery" angle and increase profits so he had no problem with it. It took me a few weeks to get my groove, but once I did there was no going back. My income quadrupled, but that wasn't the real benefit. I slowly started to feel like I had some control back in my life. I finally didn't want to run anymore.

I glance at the clock, 5 minutes to go. Time to quit reminiscing and head toward the stage.

"See you after the show Gen" I say as I walk out the door.

"Knock 'em dead Grace" see replies.

I like to walk slowly down the hall before each show, listen to the crowd and get a feel for it. It helps me perform better when I read the crowd ahead of time. When I started here 4 years ago I tried to pretend the crowd wasn't there, now the crowd feeds me. Even though with the lights I can't really see the audience during a show, the energy and sexual tension they radiate makes me feel powerful. I guess maybe that's the reason I've stayed here 4 years. That power is stronger than any I've felt before. On stage there is no one telling me I'm not good enough, that I can't do something or that I've failed them. On stage I run the show, I'm in charge, it's predictable and that's exactly how I like it.

As I reach the stage door, Declan walks up and clips a mic to the neckline of my corset. Then he places the wireless transmitter inside the back of my boy shorts and covers it with the corset.

"Please make sure you cover…"I start.

"I got it Grace, no worries everything is covered" he says with a smile.

I'm sure he's curious why I'm always so worried about covering my back, but he's never asked and I'm certainly not offering that information.

"Ladies and gentleman, our next performer always brings a little magic to the stage" I hear Jameson's voice announce as I make my way to the stage door. "Please put your hands together for our beautiful woman of mystery, Lady Grace!"

The lights dim, I take a deep breath and walk out on stage.