Summery: After years of dancing around each other, Austria and Prussia have finally got together! Now time to tell the family! This can only end badly...
Genre: Romance, Humor
Rating: T
Warnings: Country personification, mild yaoi, mild language
Characters / Pairings: Austria / Prussia, mentions of past Austria x Hungary, appearances of Switzerland, Germany, Italy, Liechtenstein and Hungary.
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, all credit goes to Hidekaz Himaruya
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"You know, I thought only girls did that."
Roderich startled violently, almost dropping the towel that was draped around his narrow hips. "Don't do that!" he hissed, his violet eyes glaring daggers at the smirking Prussian, who was currently shamelessly eying his bare chest. Austria felt a twinge of annoyance, but remained silent, waiting for his partner to elaborate. When the other man had said nothing for a good five minutes, he gave in with a reluctant. "You thought only girls did what?"
"Wore their hair in turbans after they'd had a shower," he explained, giving the towel wrapped around Austria's head a pointed glance,
"I happen to like my hair to be semi-dry before I go at it with a hairdryer," he responded dryly.
"Wait... you actually blow-dry your hair?"
Austria didn't respond to his obvious taunts, instead opting for attack. "At least my hair doesn't resemble a birds-nest to the point were birds actually live in it."
"Hey, that was low!" Gilbert growled. "And I'll have you know that my hair is –"
Whatever Gilbert was about to say would forever remain unknown, for it was at this moment Austria switched on the hairdryer and set to work, using a narrow-toothed comb to make sure that his hair was perfectly divided, save that one curl that will forever remain standing, which he had learned from years of experience was best left untouched.
Once finished, the Austrian set the instrument aside and began shaping his hair with wax, taking extra care to get it just right.
"You know," Prussia said brightly. "If you really wanted to be blown, you know I'm always happy to help!"
Austria promptly flipped the towel he had been using for his hair at him."Could you please refrain from vulgar jokes just this once? I'm already stressed enough as it is. Just think if Elizabeta panics and thinks i deceived her all those years ago? Or if some other country cuts trades or –"
"Chill Specs," Prussia interrupted. "Lizzie will be fine, though she'll probably stalk us with cameras. And half the world is paired up now, none of them with a partner anywhere near as awesome of the one that deserves me."
Austria wasn't sure if that was supposed to be a compliment or not. Now that his hair was free from water, dirt and other unpleasantries, he swiftly changed into his neatest clothing, lunging his other towel at the albinos eyes to give himself some more privacy. Once finished, he began to straighten out all the invisible creases in his shirt thoroughly, just to be sure that he looked presentable.
"You know, I don't think you'll be any better of by looking handsome, unless you're trying to dazzle them into accepting us," Gilbert supplied after watching the Austrian for a long moment. Roderich felt his eye twitch.
"Please try to stay silent," he muttered, to which Prussia responded with a disbelieving laugh.
"You would really like that, wouldn't you?"
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"–And that is why I am taking over Specs from your suckish care," Gilbert finished, waving his hand in a dismissive manner in front of the young Hungarians face. The woman seemed stunned at the detailed description she had just received about her ex-husbands current sex-life. Roderich was hiding his head in his hands in shame.
A very long, awkward silence followed.
Prussia eyed Hungary suspiciously. "You don't seem very surprised," he noted. The woman tilted her head to the side and smiled sweetly. Prussia felt a twinge of fear at the expression, but couldn't understand why.
"What kind of ex-wife would I be if I wasn't aware of Roderich's needs?" Her eyes took a reddish glint. The albino shivered.
"Yeah... so you're okay with this then? Not that the awesome me needs permission from someone like you, but Roddy would be upset if you didn't speak to him again."
"As long as he invites me over for tea," Hungary said, batting her eyelashes at the still blushing Austrian. It took him a moment to realise that he was being addressed, but once he did, he began to nod enthusiastic.
"But of course! How about next Thursday?" he suggested, ignoring Prussia's grimaces at the idea.
"Thursdays fine. I'll bring my new camera!"
"What?"
"I mean my new Caramella! Y'know, the cake!" It's a fantastic dessert, you'll love it!"
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"Please explain why we are going to visit him again," Austria demanded, staring in absolute dread at the front door of Switzerland's and Liechtenstein's home.
"Because they are part of our awesome German-speaking community," Prussia explained, waving a hand dismissively.
"But I don't even talkto Vash anymore! He hates me! He'll try to shoot me the moment he sees us!"
"Nonsense, I saw you eating with him and his sister a while ago. Besides, he wouldn't dare try to hurt you with the awesome me ready to defend you!" the albino smirked at this, striking a what was supposed to be a super-hero pose.
".. he hates you as well after you tried to grope Liechtenstein," Austria added, hoping the threat of an angry Switzerland would be enough to stop him from wanting to go any further.
"I did no such thing!" the albino exclaimed, lifting a hand to his heart and wincing dramatically as if the mare thought of touching the girl was enough to cause him pain. Austria was not swayed by his display.
"I was there, as was Germany and Italy!" Just as the words left his mouth, he was struck with a sudden thought. He narrowed his eyes at Gilbert. "Hang on a moment, this is just you trying to put of telling them, isn't it?"
"Hah... I have no idea what you're talking about." Prussia's shifty eyes said differently, but before Austria could say anything about this, the albino dived at the doorbell and begun to ring it repeatedly. Austria cringed, but somehow mustered the courage to stay planted outside the door.
He soon wished he hadn't.
The door swung open, revealing a stern-looking blond clutching a large gun to his chest. The mans eyes narrowed as he registered who the visitors were, but apart from that, his expression didn't waver. "Austria. Prussia," he greeted, moving his chin in a ghost of a nod. Austria copied the Swiss mans notion, whilst Prussia faked a large grin.
"Hey Switzerland, mind if we come in? Yeah? Cool!" Without waiting for a response, he grabbed hold of his partners cravat and pulled him through the doorway, pushing past the short blond as he did so.
The unmistakable sound of a gun cocking stopped him in his tracks
"State your reason of presence and get out," came the gruff voice from behind them. Prussia swirled round, swiftly grabbing the barrel of the gun and pointing it upwards in the same moment it went of. The albino smirked at Switzerland's look of despair as the nation realised that he had shot a hole in his own roof and would have to pay for the damages.
"Go get your sis', we have an important announcement to make that may or may not effect your economy."
Switzerland eyed him suspiciously. "I don't want you any ware near Lilly," he stated firmly. Austria decided it would be best to cut in now, before Prussia could provoke the man further. "Don't worry, I'll keep him in place."
The blonds eyes drifted from Austria to Prussia, before he nodded reluctantly. "Fine. Wait here and don't touch anything."
The two had barely registered Switzerland's disappearance before he reappeared, now with his sister at his side. The girl smiled politely at them both. "Good day Austria and Prussia. What brings you to our home?"
Prussia bounced to her side and flung his arm around her neck, ignoring the Swiss mans outraged huff and Austria's terrified cry. "We," the albino announced. "Have come all the way here to tell you about our awesome relationship." He ended the statement by winking at Switzerland.
The poor man was looking from the grinning Prussia to his blushing ex-friend in astonishment. "Wha..." he trailed off, unsure what to say as his face took on a dark, vermillion hue. "Y-you and him?" The questioned was directed at Austria, but Prussia decided that he was better fit to answer.
"You bet he's with me! We've been goin' at it like rabbits for weeks. You should have heard him, gasping and squealing like a little pig... though I did let him top once, poor guy didn't know what he was doing though –"
A startled yelp fell from Switzerland's lips and he quickly dived for Liechtenstein's ears to savor her innocence. Once he was sure she couldn't hear a thing, he turned to look at them, making sure his glare was fierce enough to make ice boil.
"Get. Out. Now." The statement was followed by a series of threats which neither of the pair wished to repeat. Austria was out the door in an instant, dragging a trembling Prussia behind him. As they fled into the distance, they both pretended not to hear Liechtenstein's questions of what "going at it like rabbits" and "what did Prussia mean about topping?".
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The two had somehow managed to dodge the bullets coming from Switzerland's guards and had fled the country, continuing to run until they begun to near Germany's house, where the two finally slowed down. Panting for air and steadying himself against a conveniently placed tree, Prussia finally managed a shaky smirk. "You know," he managed between gasps for air. "It wasn't like a ran because I was scared or anything. I could totally have protected us if I'd wanted to!"
"Please shut up," Austria requested, not in the mood for the albinos bragging at the moment. "We're almost at Germany's household. Is there Anything you want me to say or do once we get there?"
The Prussian stiffened at the mention of his brothers name. "You know, I think we should just send him an e-mail. Yeah, an e-mail... we could send him pictures of us kissing!"
Austria narrowed his eyes at the man. "No way. I had to tell Hungary, so you will be telling your brother. Face to face." Despite his demanding tone, he felt a slight twinge of sympathy for his partner. He was obviously worried about how his brother would take their relationship, though Austria was almost sure his fears were unfounded.
Prussia scowled, but followed Austria along the familiar road. As they approached the house, the sound of dogs barking filled the air and the albino felt himself relax with the familiarity of it all. His calmness however, was dissolved as soon as they reached the front door. The albino stared at it with large eyes as if it was an alien object. Austria sighed and pushed passed the momentarily paralyzed man, rapping the door with three swift beats.
It didn't take long before the sound of muffled voices reached their ears and the door swung open, revealing Germany, with Italy clinging at his arms. "Austria," he greeted, sounding surprised. His eyes then fell on Prussia, who was still staring aimlessly ahead of him. "Oh no, now what has he done?"
"I can assure you that Gilbert has done nothing wrong, we just came here to talk," Austria said, deliberately emphasizing Prussia's human name in the hope that it would somehow warm the larger man up to the idea. Germany rose a quizzical eyebrow at them, but stepped aside to let them in. Italy greeted them both happily, following them along the hall and into the living room whilst going on about nothing inperticular.
They all gathered in the moderately sized room, seating themselves on the clean sofas. The four of them stared at each other in silence. Or two of them actually. Germany and Austria had eye contact, whilst Prussia was still staring into space and Italy had his eyes closed, as per usual. Austria cleared his throat and nudged his partner gently in the hope that it would make him take the initiative to speak. This seemed to wake him up and he shook his head, trying to smirk but looking like he was in severe pain.
"Um.. so West... how's it been?"
No one was impressed at his attempt at speaking.
"Really, what has he done?" Germany asked again, beginning to go pale. "I promise I'll pay for any damage –"
"West, shut up," Prussia barked suddenly, silencing his brother. "I haven't done anything wrong this time. We've actually come to... umm..." He bit his lip, unsure of how to continue. Luckily for him, Austria was ready to cut in.
"Gilbert and I have come to a decision," he stated calmly. "The two of us are now in a romantic relationship and would like your blessing."
Germany stared at him as if he was speaking a foreign language. "What?" he said, staring at them both in obvious disbelief.
"Specs and I are fucking," Prussia deadpanned, reverting back to staring aimlessly ahead.
"Don't be so vulgar!" Austria yelled, before catching himself. He shut his moth firmly, trying not to blush as he observed Germany's reaction. It was the Italian that surprised them all.
"Waa~! That's great!" the small man smiled brightly and drowned them in a large hug. "Now Austria and Prussia can be happy together and go and dates and eat pasta together~! Ve~!"
After several moments of silence, Germany let out a shaky chuckle. "Hah... I get it, it's a joke." Prussia and Austria shook their heads simultaneously. "Is it to gain power? A country-marriage?" Again, they shook their heads in the negative. "East didn't do anything to you? Force you into anything? Blackmail maybe?"
That is were Prussia drew the line. "For gods sake, we are in a happy, consenting relationship!" he exploded, shooting out of his chair and gesturing wildly around him. Germany wasn't sure what to make of this, but luckily for them all, Italy was there to break the silence.
"I think it's great, Ve~!" he said, still smiling. "Now Prussia doesn't have to be left out all the time."
Despite wanting to snap that he actually enjoyed being alone, Prussia found himself smiling softly at Italy.
Germany cleared his throat, suddenly blushing slightly. "Um, well then. So long as you don't throttle each other, that's fine." He was rewarded by three smiling faces. Not wanting to be the center of everyone's emotional attention, he cleared his throat again, loudly this time. "Well then, who wants to stay for dinner?"
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"Well that went surprisingly well," Austria sighed, collapsing into bed and for once letting his hair fall freely into his eyes. "Even though the pasta-wurst was very strange."
"I knew it was going to go well all along," Prussia alleged, following his partners example by throwing himself at the bed beside him, stretching his limps and yawning like a kitten. Austria decided to save that metaphor for another time.
"If I remember correctly, you were terrified," Austria chided, rolling to his side in order to observe the albino better.
"Was not!"
"Where to," he shot back, biting his lip once he realised that he had sunk to the Prussians level.
"Was not!"
"Whatever," he sighed, letting his eyes fall closed. The sudden sensation of lips against his throat quickly snapped them back open. "W-what are you doing?" he stuttered and Austria could just feel Prussia's lips curve up into a smirk.
"What does it look like?" he breathed, lips descending down the planes of Austria's slim chest. He was just about to go even further, when a high-pitched beep sounded through the air. Both of them froze. "What the fuck was that?" Prussia demanded.
"I haven't a clue."
Slowly rising from his place above Austria, he searched for the source of the noise. Another beep sounded, making it possible for him to determine its location: the sound was coming from the top of their bed frame. Slowly, as if not to disturb the thing, Prussia peered up, finally finding the offending object.
"..."
"What is it?" Austria asked, not bothering to get up. Wordlessly, Prussia detached the object from the bed frame and passed it down to the brunet, who studied it quietly.
It was a camera. A video camera, with a 'warning, low battery' light flashing, again causing it to beep. "What... how could this...?" Austria was unsure of what to say.
"Turn it around," Prussia instructed tonelessly. Complying, Austria did so, eyes widening at the text written at the bottom of the camera.
"That's why she wasn't surprised to hear about us, she already knew" Austria murmured. Prussia felt like punching something and promptly took his anger out on the camera, snatching it back from Austria, staring into the lens with a furious gaze.
"Hungary," he said, voice dripping with fury. "Frying pan or not, I am going to kill you for this." He ended the statement by throwing it on the floor, smashing it. The note was still face-up, almost as if it was mocking them.
If lost or stolen, please return to Elizabeta Héderváry of Hungary. Should anyone steal the camera and not return the footage, they bare risk of prosecution and death by frying pan.
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Thanks for reading^^ Kind of plotless, but this site needs more Prussia/Austria :P
Constructive criticism is welcome^^