Normal is Mrs Hudson

Italics is John


John, dear? Are you there?

Yes, Mrs Hudson. How do you like the new phone I got you?

It's a nice present, but this smart phone isn't very smart.

Why not? What's wrong with it?

I keep telling it what I want it to do and it doesn't lunch it.

I'm sorry?

It doesn't lunch it, and it keeps changing what I type as while.

It must be autocorrect, it changes your words to what it thinks it should be.

What? Auto cucumber?

I mean almost correct?

AUTO CORRECT. There, got it know.

NOW.

Can you turn it off for me please Jane?

JOHN.

I don't lunch this much.

Coming, Mrs Hudson.