Glaxy Angel

Not so Secret Conversation, served with lots of misconceptions and a side order of Contempt!

Those of you what have played Galaxy Angel Simdate, may have found it entertaining and mildly on key when it wasn't #&in' stalling on you. I was pondering the meaning of life some time ago and I stumbled upon this conversation, edited for content, I hope you enjoy it. For maximum results imagine that you're a man (try hard) who got taken aboard the space station after being frozen in time. Your past isn't important. Who cares if you used to be the cross dressing queen of the Ca-Ka-Chug Empire, you're straight now, baby, and since you know what girls like you've hit it off okay with all of them, but now they've cornered Volcott and made him wait in the rec room for you whilst they hide. They want to find out which one of them you like, BUT you overheard their plan, and walk in a few minutes later with a trick in mind.

You are Hue.

Hue walked into the rec room, trying to hide the smile from his face as he opened his mouth. "Hi, professor."

"For the last time, Mr. Nobody, I'm not a professor, stop calling me that."

"No problemo, Rabbi."

"Oy-vey."

"Apparently you're a jew."

"Apparently not! Look, I have something to ask you before one of us does something the other regrets. Do you like anybody on this ship?"

Hue gasped. "Are you coming on to me?"

"Wha- NO! Look idiot-"

"So mean…"

"I mean look… Hue… Do you like any of the girls on this ship?"

"Maybe… Hey where's Normad right now, I'd hate to be recorded if I let anything slip."

Volcott smiled. "Don't worry, Normad's being cleaned."

"Okay, then as long as were on the subject, and since you brought it up, do you know why Forte likes guns so much?"

"Not off hand…"

"Just wandering, don't tell her I asked, and since you did bring it up, don't even get me started on that monocle."

"You don't like the monocle?"

"I don't know how old she is, but with it on she looks thirty five."

The couch sounded like it stifled a scream.

"That was a funny sound," Hue said, trying to control his smile.

"Oh?" Volcott said, his eyes open very wide as he stifled his own sounds. "I didn't hear anything."

"Well you know my policy on dating, never draw ink from the company well. If I was going to date any of them I'd date them all at once and call it a party. That way we could all witness the train-wreck together and get it over with. Except for that Mint."

"What about Mint?"

"With her it'd be more like a nuclear strike. You know, one off comment about her blue hair or cow ears and the sirens would be going off. oooOOOOOO! Ka BOOM!"

"I don't know about that-"

"Did I ever tell you about the time she got into a bar fight over somebody calling her short? She's crazy."

"What!" came a small growl from behind a desk.

"Good night what was that?"

"Nothing!" Volcott shouted, clearing his throat. "So you're saying you don't like any of the girls?"

"Well… If you promise not to tell… I do like Ranpha."

"Not surprised."

"It's just… she has those… big… tender… firm…" Hue said, groping the air. Volcott suddenly felt awkward. "Masculine Legs…"

Volcott suddenly felt sick. Very, very sick. If he laughed Ranpha would kill him. If he did he'd die…

"What's the matter Volcott? And is there anybody behind those drapes."

"Er… Er…!" Volcott said, trying to say something, anything. He took a deep breath and thought of that time his girlfriend left him. "Nothing's the matter, m'boy… And why… why… would anybody be behind the curtains?"

"I don't know, but something still seems to be wrong. You're not laughing are you?"

"Of course not! I just had some… drink caught in my throat," he said picking up a bottle nearby.

"Since when do you drink holy water?"

"Uh… Since now, get of my back, you're ruining my buzz."

"OOO-KAY… Where did it come from anyway?"

"Vanilla probably was using it for something."

"Vanilla? You mean… You can see her too?"

"Huh?"

"That's FANTASTIC!" Hue said, giving him a big fake hug. He let go and beamed at him from an arms distance. "I thought she was a ghost!"

'UH OH!' he thought. 'This is it… I'm going to laugh and they're all going to kill me. At least they'll kill him too.'

Apparently Hue was thinking the same thing, as they both burst out laughing at the same time.

After they had got most of it out of their system Hue heaved, "That was fun… How are you going to fend off the girls?"

"I'm not, but at least we'll go out together."

"Not likely, I'm taking my leave today. Wait I didn't say anything about Milleulle. Where is she hiding?"

"I don't think that matters," Ranpha growled from right over Hue's shoulder.

"Thirty… FIVE!" Forte shouted, picking up the couch as she stood up from under it and throwing it at them. It fell short, but it was the thought that counted.

"A ghost am I? Maybe you'll see lot's of ghosts where I'll send you…"

"A Nuclear bomb? Bar fights?" Mint growled.

"Mascluine legs!"

"Bury me at wounded knee, Volcott." Hue said, as the girls surrounded them, they slowly revolved on a point since they were back to back.

"I don't think there's going to be enough of us left to bury, Hue."

"I guess your right. You're always right. That's why they call you professor."

"They don't call me professor. You're the only one that call's me the professor," he hissed.

"And now you know why. It's my death bed confession."

"You're just a ray of sunshine, Hue. Ranph, sweetie, put the saber down."

"Don't you have a death bed confession, Volcott?"

"Well I don't have a death bed confession, but I do know two words that might save out little lives."

"What? Vanilla, don't point that thing at me!"

"I hate to say it, but- Forte! I told you no automatic rifle's in the rec room."

"So tell me again… I dare you…" click click

"I suggest you say 'em quick, Mint's got a table leg!"

"Here goes nothing!"

The End