I, Too Am Alexander

by Norrsken

Alexander's drinking habits leads to some very serious complications. Hephaestion will have to use all his diplomatic and fighting skills to keep the reckless King out of harm's way.

1. The Banquet at Maracanda

TEMPLATE:

Title: FIC: I, Too Am Alexander ( 1 /7 )

Author: NorthernLight

Category: Love/Friendship/Adventure story. Alternate History.

Pairing: Alexander&Hephaestion Date: July 2005.

Feedback: Yes, all kinds, on or off list, as you please. Archive: Yes, if you like, but please tell me.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, though I wish I did! Not for gain - my work is for my deep interest in Alexander and Hephaestion, their time and adventures.

Rating: R

Beta: Denise. Many thanks for good discussions and suggestions.

Summary : After hard campaigning in Bactria, Sogdiana and Scythia Alexander and his army take their quarters at Maracanda. While resting there a certain drinking party gets totally out of control.

Historical note: General Cleitus' appointment to the Satrapy of Bactria, in some records Sogdiana, is a historical fact, also the troublesome drinking party. All else that occurs is a product of my own imagination. Old Archontes is an invention of mine. I couldn't find out who replaced Cleitus as satrap in all of my books.

Warnings: This is AR, close to but not "real" history. Violence, hard fighting, angst and intrigues. Heavy drinking with unpleasant consequences. Positive surprise in this first chapter.

X-tra warning: As you might have seen before in my fics I have strong opinions about the hazards of heavy drinking. The demons of alcohol causes many tragedies in my country and I cannot resist some moralizing.

Dedication: To Denise. Thanks to your excellent and positive fic challenge about Alexander being kidnapped and Hephaestion having to make an agreement with all his adversaries and take over the army for a daring and dangerous rescue operation.

I, Too Am Alexander

Part I

Maracanda 328 BC

Unwelcome Command

General Cleitus was called to the King to receive new orders. He expected to get a new, high command in the upcoming campaign towards India and very much looked forward to it. He knew Alexander simply couldn't do without him. He was an Old Hand, knowing everyone and everything and completely irreplaceable in the King's High Command. The faithful guards Stefanos and Alexios showed him into the King's office. He smiled friendly at them but they averted their eyes, looking strangely down trodden. The air was still and quiet inside the office. Curtains of green, gold embroidered fabrics kept the merciless outside sun at bay. Only some golden rays played around the beautiful wall paintings and ornaments. Soft grass green carpets crumpled under his feet and he saw Alexander, Hephaestion, Krateros, Perdiccas and Ptolemy sitting solemnly at the oval table of cedar wood. The King beckoned him to the empty chair.

"Take a seat, my dear old friend. We've something of the utmost importance to tell you. "

Proudly he took a place in their company, expecting some really good news.

"You know that Bactria is one of our grandest and most important provinces?"

He nodded accommodatingly, thinking: "That is certainly none of my business."

"I assigned it to old Artabazos after Bessus was executed. He has looked after it excellently for us - but now he has requested to retire to his estates. Old age has finally taken it's toll upon him."

"How curious, my King. I never thought he would resign from duty. But - what has all this to do with me?"

"I need a strong and reliable man to govern Bactria for me, Cleitus. It's you I'm thinking of. You'll leave within the week. It's a most important command, guarding our supply lines and communications during our campaign into India."

Cleitus felt his chin drop down to his knee. This was both unexpected and unwanted.He felt like he had been slapped right in the face. Forgetful of both etiquette and respect for the King he called out loudly:

"NO, My Lord! You cannot mean this. I'm to follow you to India, fight at your Left Side as I'we always done. You simply cannot do without me - and I can think of no other life and service than at your side!"

Alexander answered him calmly and politely:

"Yes, Cleitus. I know all this. You've done extremely well in the past - but now it's time for younger men to follow me into the heat of battle. Perdiccas will have your military command. Don't you see - it's an assignment of utmost importance and dignity I give to you. You must obey my decision. I'll not go back on it."

General Cleitus saw the determined air in Alexander's face and his whole posture. He knew all arguing was futile and bowed his head in sorrowful resentment.

"Yes, My King. I'll do as you order me, but I know the day will come when you realize you've made the wrong decision. You'll sorely regret doing this to me!"

"I certainly understand that you're cross at me right now - but you'll have a good time with the good and peaceful life far behind our lines of battle. I assure you I'll miss you dearly. You are welcome to a Royal Banquet to celebrate your departure. It's a week from now - on the feast of the Dioscures."

General Cleitus left the King's office without a word, rising so fast and violently that the chair fell to the floor behind him. He rushed out, slamming the door shut with a great bang.

Futile Pleading

The meeting was all over and the Generals left. Hephaestion stayed close to Alexander.

"I told you he'd be upset. You shouldn't have done this to him. He's the very best! I don't mind sharing my command with Perdiccas but I feel much safer with Cleitus at my side. Why didn't you consider my recommendations with Archontes and Oxyarthres in shared command. Old Archontes has pleaded for a long time to receive a command away from active military duty. He is an excellent administrator, reliable and he is interested in the Persians and all their peculiar customs. He will perform excellently - much better than someone you've forced!"

"No, Hephaestion. I wont't go back on my decision, not even on your recommendations. This Command is far too important. I need the best man for it! Cleitus will reconsider and forget his stubborn resistance. I've invited him to a Banquet of Honour. It'll be a wonderful treat to all invited."

"Oh no. Not another drinking party! I'm sick and tired of those. You drink far too much for your own good these days - and all the others follow your bad example. I will stay sober this time. The vinegar water I've made up for me and the guards is not so bad as it seems. You ought to try some. It could do you good!"

"Yes, I'll take you up on it when we're out on campaign again -but not for now. Don't be cross on me. You know I always do what's best."

Hephaestion gave up his futile pleading and left for his own office. There was much to to with the upcoming Indian Campaign so close at hand. Hephaestion sat calmly at his writing table, managing to read several scrolls and heaps of documents simultaneously. His assignments in Army Logistics had been steadily growing over the years and was sometimes far too much for one man alone.

The door was thrown open so violently it almost fell of it's hinges. General Cleitus came rushing inside, looking desperate and forlorn with his long black hair on ends,and his eyes bloodshot.

"I've told you I cannot abide with this Bactrian business, Hephaestion! Can't you talk to him once more? I know you don't want me to stay behind. You've always relied on me for all the dangerous and delicate missions."

"I understand how you feel, Cleitus. I've tried very hard to make him change his mind - but he won't listen even to me! I'm so sorry. I'll miss you - and many with me. It'll be hard work for me managing the Companion Cavalry without your support. Perdiccas and I are doing nicely enough - but you're the best!"

"I don't want to be a satrap! I want to come along into India with you. You cannot do without me! You need me - Bactria can have someone else!"

"Yes. I think so too. Too bad Artabazos is too old to continue. We need someone reliable in his stead - but I'd have wanted someone else in that position. I'm so sorry. Alexander hasn't been himself of lately."

Hephaestion rose and embraced Cleitus trying to comfort him. They both trembled from frustration, feeling down trodden by the King's unreasonable decision.

Ill Omen

The atmosphere in the King's Banqueting Hall at Maracanda was stifling hot, the air still with dissension and dissatisfaction. Another drinking party was in progress, this one especially ill omened, being the farewell party for General Cleitus. Many resented the King's decision to leave him behind since he was well liked by all the common soldiers and almost everyone in the King's High Command. Stefanos and Alexios stood near to the King's couch, vigilantly holding onto their spears. Their Lord Hephaestion, always calm and sober, had forced them to drink water heavily mixed with sour vinegar instead of the strong red wine of this godforsaken place.

"Someone needs to stay sober this evening. It's becoming worse all the time...If you don't like what you get you can console yourselves with the thought that I'm having the same sour drink as you!"

They well knew what he meant. King Alexander was deep into one of his heavy drinking bouts and he had arrived to the party already staggering. Hephaestion was kindly supporting him as they took their place at the King's fine couch in the middle of the Banqueting Hall. All other guests had already arrived. The generals, the Greek guest friends, the Persian nobles were waiting at their couches and now lay down, looking for the procession with the luxurious banquet food plates. It was the Feast of the Dioscures and King Alexander had ordered some really wonderful dishes for all of them. He looked around and asked angrily:

"Where is Cleitus? He's invited to this very closest couch. We're celebrating tonight not only for the Dioscures, it's our farewell party since he's leaving for the Satrapy of Bactria." Krateros answered:

"I saw him a short while ago. He was preparing two sheep to sacrifice for the Dionysia.

" The King snapped his fingers at the servants.

"He must be ready with that by now. Go and tell him to join us at the party! He's to come immediately!"

Ashort time passed. Then the General Cleitus came, a bit staggering - and followed by the two sacrificial sheep, just prepared for the rite. The King's servants had been so compelling to take him to the party that they hadn't left him enough time to finish the sacred ceremony. The party guests stifled some giggles at the bleating sheep who looked puzzled at the Banqueting Hall with its soft couches and flickering sconces. Alexander looked with amusement at the unusual procession.

"Feel yourself most welcome to this Banquet, my old friend. It's some strange company you've brought into my Hall. You look like an old ram between two succulent ewes!"

Only at this very moment did General Cleitus realize what company he had brought with him to the King's feast. He quickly ordered the servants to lead the sheep away, white with humiliation.

"My Lord, you don't need to mock me any more than you already have. These are sacred animals, dedicated as an offering to Dionysos. We ought to honor him over all on this very day. It's his most important Sacrificial Day."

"You're right, my old friend. Aristandros! You must take the sheep to the temple and fulfill the sacrifice. It's an Ill Omen if they should stay alive."

Bitter resentment

Stefanos stood stone sober, leaning on his spear, guarding the King's banquet together with his friend Alexios. They were feeling ill at ease, strongly disliking the dismissal of the General Cleitus. He was like a father to them, the first one to introduce them to the many hard tasks in the King's Glorious Army and Guard of Honour and they didn't know how to manage without him. Of course they understood the common sense of the King's decision. Bactria was the most important Satrapy for their supply lines - but the faithful guards found their Lord Hephaestion's suggestion with Archontes as Satrap was a far better and more sensible one. He had given them stern orders to guard the King and the General Cleitus closely, expecting trouble, perhaps some real calamity during this sad farewell feast. They were to be most vigilant and spare no efforts to keep them out of harm's ways. Now the General had arrived - but such an ill omened arrival no one never saw. The guards made signs to avert Evil from their beloved superior, feeling the foreboding of doom and disaster. General Cleitus was staggering from too much wine, having started with the Dionysia early in the morning. Even in his drunken condition he was most impressive, long coal black hair with only a few grey streaks, old fashioned beard, clever brown eyes, the very image of strength, virility and thrustworthiness. He took his place at the couch of honour closest to the King, silently reclining, watching the King and the Lord Hephaestion with bitter resentment. A servant filled his cup and he immediately started to drink, brooding over the golden, ruby adorned cup of honour.

Stefanos turned his vigilant gaze to the King's couch. His two Lords were reclining at ease together, the King glorious and golden as usual in a shining white chiton, a belt of pure gold with diamonds embedded and gold studded sandals. He wore a purple mantel which he soon removed because of the stifling heat in the Hall. Their Lord Hephaestion was looking magnificent in a midnight blue chiton, golden belt around his waist, a golden chain with amehysts sparkling around his neck and a ribbon of the same precious stones upon his clear and calm brow, shining together with his wonderful blue eyes and his glossy auburn hair, so long and beautiful. The stones of Sobriety, most appropiate for their wearer. Both Lords were looking so wonderful together, seeming not a day older than when they set out for their glorious conquest. They all had come a long and hard way together - and now difficulties were mounting in their path of glory.

Drunken Glory

The drinking party proceeded with all kinds of delicious courses. The guests were luxuriously wined and dined and got the most excellent entertainment. There were fruits and food from all the four cardinal signs, succulent meats, fresh and boiled vegetables, fruits of all kinds and - the wine flowed freely, everyone was soon getting giddy, talking louder and louder - common sense being gradually abandoned. Alexander sat at his couch, glowing with pride, confident with all his victories and exploits. He was feeling so good, having figured out his Indian Campaign so smoothly. Cleitus would guard the important supply lines excellently, all the younger officers would do their very best, all was proceeding wonderfully well. He had another cup of strong untempered wine. It brought him a pleasant relaxing giddiness. He looked all around him, and saw all his friends in a rose colored light. Hephaestion close to him at his own couch, Ptolemy, always clever and thoughtful, now dropping a grape on the floor, Perdiccas, looking at Hephaestion, surely looking forward to the important shared command over the Companion Cavalry, Leonnatos, strong and reliable, Krateros, looking enviously as usual at Hephaestion sharing the King's couch, and Nearchos, talking to Seleukos about some amazing sailing exploits. Hephaestion reclined at the King's side, his sobriety enabling him to enjoy the wonderful sight of his Beautiful Golden One all the better. Alexander was looking so bright and beautiful this very evening. His cheeks were flushed by all the wine he had consumed but it only made him more desirable. Perhaps later, if only he didn't have too much of the untempered strong red wine...

Alexander started to tell them of all his exploits. Bucephalos came first. Hephaestion watched him from his position close to the King's couch. He was looking so wonderful, his hair in its long golden waves, his face was shining from an inner light, almost as if he had a warm, golden sun of his own to draw strength from. His beautiful grey eyes were truly blazing with energy and decisive power. A ribbon of diamonds shone and sparkled around his brow, one of them bigger than the others, shining like a star. Hephaestion listened intently to the King telling tales. His Beautiful Golden One had never before been so convincing, so wonderfully bright and beautiful All the young men listened in awed silence, nodding at the right times. Then Alexander mentioned his father, King Philip, and told them how he himself had surpassed his mighty exploits in many sensational ways.

Bitter Quarrel

Suddenly Alexander was cut short by a rough, commanding voice, slurred by too much wine for the speaker's own good.

"You! You are just a mere boy beside your illustrious father. Don't you ever dare mock his memory so long as anyone here in Hall remembers him."

Cleitus! He had been sitting on the couch of honor close to the king, scarcely tasting the sumptuous food, just downing cup after cup of strong untempered wine. Now it had gone too his head and stolen away all his common sense. Alexander looked calmly at him.

"I'don't mock Philip, Cleitus. I know very well I have him to thank for the beginning of my glorious reign - but our success here in Persia is all because of me and my Military Genius!"

"Yes, that I can give to you. But - without us, your faithful friends and army, you're nothing!"

Their arguing was long and bitter. They brought up quarrels and offenses from long times ago and recent troubles. The shouting and roaring was upsetting. First the Persian guests fled the Hall...then the Greek guest friends...then the few Indian delegation members. The true Macedonians stayed, shuddering, almost trying to hide under their couches. All was in an uproar. Cleitus was giving the King not only one good piece of his mind. No, he brought up all his faults and grievances since Alexander was only a mere little mite toddling in the Royal Cradle! The two men quarreled ruthlessly and now even the true Macedonians discretely left the party, stealing away in the shadows of the stone walls. Alexander had finally lost his temper and gave Cleitus stern rebuke:

"You stop talking back to me! Stop trying to master me! You'll have to obey my decision!"

The older man screamed right out at his King:

"You! You Son of Ammon! Listen to me closely, Alexander! You cannot put me away to some godforsaken barbarian Satrapy! You need me closely at your side. You need all of us Old Hands to manage this risky venture of yours!"

Alexander tried to rise from the couch. Hephaestion put his hand upon his shoulder. His friend was heated up from his anger and immoderate drinking and didn't notice the restraining grip. He tried to talk some common sense to Cleitus instead:

"My old friend. It's better you leave this banquet right now. We'll talk this over tomorrow when you both have sobered up. I think I can arrange something all can agree to..."

Strong hands pushed him violently off the King's couch. Totally shocked he fell to the stone floor, finding himself the target of Alexander's anger.

"You! Always the diplomat. Always something to say against my wisest decisions! Well, I'll not listen to you in this matter. I'll send Cleitus off packing the very first thing tomorrow!"

"No, you'll not! You'll be sorry for turning your closest friends away from you. Look here, Alexander! With this very hand I saved your very Life at the Granicos!"

Cleitus held his strong right hand before Alexander, shaking it decisively. Now Ptolemy and Kraterus took him and forcibly dragged him away from Hall. Alexander tried to follow but Hephaestion got up from the floor and grabbed him, holding him around the waist and managed to restrain him in his drunken anger.

"No! You cannot do this to me! Guard! Sound the Alarm! I'm under attack. You'll do away with me as they did with Darius!"

Stefanos looked confused. He knew that if he sounded the Alarm all the Camp would rise in an uproar and rush to the King. The situation wasn't all that serious - but surely bad enough. Hephaestion nodded violently against it.

"Alexander. Calm yourself down. We're doing this for your own good." P

tolemy and Perdiccas dragged Cleitus forcibly away. He was screaming violently, pointing at Hephaestion:

"You! Always at his side, eager to do his bidding, pining for him like a lovesick young maiden!"

Hephaestion was indulgent toward the outrageous insult, having heard far worse. He forcibly dragged Alexander down at the couch. The King was trembling and white from anger. Then he calmed down and held his cup out for a refilling. Hephaestion pushed it away with great dislike.

"No, you'll not have any more of this. You've had far enough! Calm yourself down now. He didn't mean any of it. He's even more drunk and reckless than you, my dear friend."

Regardless of the Macedonians suspiciously watching around them he held Alexander in a close embrace, rubbing his shoulders, trying to make him relax and regain some of his clear wits. The heat was suffocating around them, the velvet dark Persian night outside brewing with hot resentment and angered feelings. Heavy boots trampled hard upon the stone floor.

"Listen to me again, Alexander! Alas, ill tides for Old Hellas..."

Cleitus was back, wanting the last word. The well known lines of Euripides, all about the Commander getting all the glory, the common man doing all the hard work... Alexander couldn't stand for it. He leaped like a white lightning and grabbed at Stefano's spear. The faithful guard held on for dear life, screaming out loud:

"No, My Lord. You cannot have my spear to use against him. You'll be sorry for it in the morning. "

The King was by far the stronger man - but Stefanos fought righteously with all his might to prevent his dear Lord to commit such murderous outrage. In his drunken confusion Alexander had no chance to pry away the dangerous weapon form the faithful guard. Instead he came upon Cleitus with his bare hands. Both men tumbled around the Hall floor in a drunken brawl, dealing bitter blows at each other. Hepheastion and the Generals looked at the disaster in utter horror. They didn't dare interfere. The combatants were both mad with drink and bitter resentment, Alexander furious like a golden lightning, Cleitus stubborn like an old tough oak. It was simply not possible to go between them. The air was stifling hot with violence and resentment. Hard words and hard blows were exchanged in all eternity.

"NO. We cannot let them go on like this. Servants! Bring some buckets of real cold water. That'll sober them up."

The frightened servants hurried to obey Hephaestion's orders. At last someone doing something really helpful. The Generals didn't dare douse the King and his High Commander in cold water so Hephaestion had to do it himself. There was some angry screaming and yelling, but not even cold water could exstinguish the bitter brawl. Then Hephaestion felt himself being engulfed by his own Dark Demons of bitter resentment. He furiously stamped the floor, his blue eyes a blazing fury, his auburn hair on ends as if by lightning and his voice roaring, filling the Hall with angered frustration:

"You two! Stop this immediately! A shame on you, the King and his High Commander behaving like spoiled children! Macedon needs both of you working together to govern all our conquests and lead our victorious army!"

They didn't listen even to this uncommon outburst - but now all Macedonians and the Generals finally fled the Hall. The General Hephaestion, usually so calm and composed was terrible to behold in his unusual wrath. He now took both the combatants by the scruff of their necks and dragged them violently apart. It was easier than he reckoned, both being almost spent in their drunken anger. They simultaneously passed out, hanging limply in his hands. He called desperately for the guards to help him;

"Carry the General Cleitus to his quarters. I'll take care of the King myself. We must sort this out tomorrow when all are sober again. I wish that all this could be forgotten forever! Tell no one what has happened here tonight."

Easily said than done. Soon the disaster was all over Camp, everyone fearful for the General Cleitus. He was known to always tell the King the Truth, regardless of consequences. The King had put up with his outspoken advice and rough wisdom - but this outrage had to be punished in some grievous way. The men were worriedly whispering, taking the old General's part, bitterly resenting the King's treatment of this faithful Old Hand.

After the Feast

Hephaestion carried his Beautiful Golden One with great care to his quarters. Alexander was senseless from heavy drinking and hard fighting, hanging limply in his arms. The faithful guards followed, always ready with a helping hand. The air was still as hot and stifling, the whole Palace whispering about the outrageous banquet. It sounded really ugly and Hephaestion felt himself shudder from a series of chills despite the hot Persian night. Inside the Royal Bedchamber was somewhat cooler, with lofty windows letting in some midnight breezes. The bed was ready made with it's fine silken sheets and emerald green flowery quilt folded at the side. Alexios told them all:

"We must take extra care with security this night. Things are worse than usual..."

"I know! I'll stay with him myself -and you'll keep close to the door. Double, no, triple the King's Guard tonight! This is really horrible. I certainly hope Alexander and the General will have forgotten this when they wake up tomorrow. "

Alexios answered in a fearful mood:

"The King never forgets anything. It doesn't matter how drunk he is, he can always recollect everything!"

"Yes, I know that too, my friend. Only hoping...Leave us now. I'll have to put him to bed myself."

Servants came with cool lavender water and linen cloths. Hephaestion thanked them and sent them away. With deep concern he undressed his friend and washed him all over with the cool water and then rubbed him down with a soft violet blue towel. No reaction at all! Alexander was so hopelessly drunk he didn't even feel the coolness of the scented water. He tended his bruises, putting on some ointments to make them heal easier.

"My dear friend. You can be thankful for having me to take care of you. I'll see to you whatever you do, whatever happens."

He carefully turned Alexander over onto his right side and pulled the finely embroidered emerald quilt over him. For a long time he stood watching his Beautiful Golden One together with the silvery full Moon shining brightly and curiously upon the King, wondering about the strange Affairs of Men. Alexander had fallen into a heavy intoxicated sleep. His cheeks were flushed from the heavy drinking, his breathing deep and softly snoring, his wavy golden hair in disarray over the soft pillow. He was beautiful even in this sad condition and Hephaestion gave him a kiss on his fevered brow before he lay himself down by his side. He made himself comfortable behind his friend's strong muscular back, holding his hands protectively and possessively around his waist. No Evil, no calamity must ever befall his Beautiful Golden One. He said with determination out into the Persian night:

"My dear Alexander. I will always love you and be your friend - but tonight I surely wish something would happen to keep you from your troublesome drinking habits for a very long time!"

Hephaestion mercifully didn't know that he would soon have good reason to regret this desperate wish. Sleep avoided him for a very long time, the silvery Moon keeping him friendly company in his faithful vigil.

TBC