Note: Okay, I think this little story will definitely need some clarification. The following one-shot is based on the Slayers Manga, specifically on chapter 38 of Choubaku Madou-den (Super-Explosive Demon Story for the English version) by Hajime Kanzaka and Shoko Yoshinaka. I know the eighth volume is unfortunately not out in English yet and since this chapter is in exactly that one this will both include heavy spoilers and be a little irritating unless you were able to read it in another language. If you don't want to be spoiled you may want to hit the Back-button right now.

For everyone else: If you have followed the manga in English all you need to know is that in chapter 37 Sylphiel shows up again and the others tell her about the fight with Gaav, Phibrizo's appearance and what happened to Gourry. After some "girl-talk" with Lina Sylphiel decides to go ahead of the others because she wants to try saving Gourry by herself. Xellos shows up again as well and he tells Lina that it is impossible for her to break the seal that Gaav put on her magic powers and her powers will stay sealed until she dies. Which is of course bad for Hellmaster's plans.

This is chapter 38 told from Gourry's POV. Actions and dialogue (although I didn't leave every little scream or something in it because of irrelevance – it's simply from the perspective of one single person after all) are taken directly as they occur in the chapter but of course Gourry's thoughts are purely made up by me. There's no indication as to how much he really consciously notices/hears/sees/feels or anything - except the obvious. I just always wondered about it and it kept nagging me to be written. So it was kind of written for myself most of all anyway. It would be irrealistic if I explained everything within the story so it might still be a little confusing for everyone who doesn't know the chapter. Sorry.

(Yes, I hate such long author's notes, too…)

Trapped

"Y.. You can't make me tell you where Lina-san is!"

Sylphiel. I can hear her. I can see her. Like in a dream. As if I am far away but yet somehow here. There's something.. something dark all around me. Cold. The pressure is unbearable. It makes everything feel distant, numb... blurry. It is everywhere. I am trapped.

"So..?"

That voice. Familiar. It seems to be coming from me but at the same time... it doesn't.

I start moving. Only... I am not really doing anything. I can't do anything. I feel my hand gripping the Sword of Light. I feel my legs starting to run. I feel my body going into battle position. I am running right towards Sylphiel.

No! Why am I doing this? No.. No, it's not me. Who is doing this? Why can I not stop? Why can I not move my body? Who is controlling me? What...?

"F..Fireball!" She's trying her best to sound confident but I can hear the fear behind it.

With one quick movement he.. I lunge out at the flames and the sword shoves her spell away as if it was nothing.

"I told you it's no use!" There it was again. That voice. It seemed to be everywhere.

My attention is drawn to Sylphiel again as she yelps and my eyes are being focused back to her. Everything freezes as I see her stumbling and falling on her knees. Well, not everything freezes, my body is perfectly moving again. I feel myself charging at her. I feel the bloodlust of... that thing around me.

No!Stop! I scream in my mind but I can't will my body to answer my plea. Sylphiel! I see her face looking up at me with horror. Somewhere in the back of my mind I realize that she doesn't recognize me. She doesn't know I'm the one who will..

"Fireball!"

My body jerks around. I see the flames flying towards me before the Sword of Light hits into them, barely in time. I feel dizzy. Everything is going so fast, I hardly even feel the movements of my body anymore.

"That came from over there!" That voice again. It is starting to hurt. I want to put my hands over my ears so I don't have to hear it. But I can't.

I.. it turns around more and my eyes fall onto the person who cast the spell. My fear increases as the bloodlust I feel around me does when it recognizes the intruders.

"Evil fiend that you are bothering Sylphiel-san! Leave this place at once!" Amelia's words barely reach me. I see Zelgadis standing behind her but all of my attention is on the third person behind her. Lina. My fear reaches painful levels when I realize that not only my own attention is directed to her alone..

"If you don't, I, Amelia, the child of Justice will punish you in the name of heaven!"

"No!" Sylphiel yells hysterically from behind me, "Take Lina-san and run!"

"What are you talking about, Sylphiel? But you are in trouble!" Lina doesn't understand. She doesn't know..

"That guy is after you!" Sylphiel finally screams, saying it out loud.

I can feel both of my hands gripping the sword's hilt tightly again when my body goes back into a battle position, rising the sword high. "That's it, Lina Inverse."

Lina! Just do what she says, please! Or else...

"The.. the Sword of Light!" I hear Zelgadis exclaiming in shock. They stare at me disbelievingly. Right, they don't recognize me either..

"You will die!" The voice continues. I would cringe under it if I could. I know this is serious. This... who or whatever it is will not leave before exactly that plan is fullfilled. I know it. I feel it..

"Wha..!" Lina screams, "What's that supposed to mean! Hellmaster needs me for his plans!" She seems to be confused, not understanding what is going to happen to her if she doesn't run for her life right now. Damn it, Lina! If only I could..

The... thing chuckles. It is disgusting. "How naive.. This, too, is Hellmaster's order.." the voice says calmly.

"This voice..." Lina starts, recognition showing on her face, "You... you are..."

"Haha!" the laugh again, threatening to tear me apart, "Did you finally notice, little miss?" I could feel my hand going up to my face. It was only now that I could feel something over it.. covering everything but my eyes.

"You are..Ralthark!" Lina asked. Ralthark! Yes. I remember. He attacked Lina before. But.. he looked like some old guy last time.. "But.." she continued, "Your body..?"

When the grip on the piece of cloth over my face tightened I was overwhelmed by a wave of fear. No! Don't show them! I don't want them... I don't want her to know! I don't want her to..!

He ripped the cloth from my face. "At the moment I am the armor that's controlling this swordsman!"

They are staring at me in shock, screaming things that don't get to me anymore. I am exposed. I want to hide, I want to burst into tears, I want to..

"That's... that's not true..!" Her voice is reaching me deep inside. I am ashamed. Ashamed that she sees me like this. I said I would protect her, I.. I have to..

"Gourry!"

I use all the strength of will that I can find to command my body to move just a bit, to do something. Anything. But it doesn't. I can only stare at her. And even that I can only do because he is willing me to. Not even my eyes do what I want them to.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Amelia calls out, "You were a servant of Chaos Dragon! What about that?"

"I am working for Hellmaster-sama now." is the simple answer. I don't care. I don't care what he's saying, I don't care who he is working for. All that matters to me is what he wants to do to Lina. And that I know only too well..

"That's why you will die..", he acknowledges my own thoughts, "You can fall into despair now, because your companion will destroy you.."

I see Lina's face change to an expression of horror as she finally understands the situation and what would happen if she can't defend herself against me. And I know she can't. I remember the fight with that trenchcoat-Mazoku and I remember what happened when he died and what the little girl-Mazoku said.

She couldn't use her magic anymore. And the look on her face proved that nothing had changed about that over the time I was trapped in the darkness since that day. If she doesn't run away now he will kill her. I will kill her.

"That's not going to happen!" Amelia prepares for an attack. Zelgadis joins her and commands Lina to run away, "We'll take care of this!"

"Huuh! B.. But.." Of course she doesn't run. Why can't she ever listen to what people say?

"Please forgive me, Gourry-san.." My attention shifts to Amelia. I feel sad. Please don't worry about me. Just... keep him from hurting Lina. Keep me from hurting Lina.

"Elmekia Lance!"

I see a flash of white light being hurled at me. He doesn't even react. The flames hit me full force but nothing happens. Amelia yelps in surprise. I feel nothing. The spell was simply repelled by the armor. The armor. The armor is him. It's what's trapping me here. If someone could just..

"Well then.." Zelgadis steps in front of Amelia, holding his arms up in my direction. That was good. Zelgadis would understand. He would know this was serious.

"Rah Tilt!"

Yes! That is a good spell, I know that. I knew he would know what to..

I am enveloped in a white light and all of a sudden I feel as if something is torn away from me. For a brief moment I feel a sensation as if I could escape my prison and take control over myself again. But before I can comprehend that thought the moment is over and I feel myself starting to run towards my friends.

No! Stop!

Amelia is too slow to react but he doesn't care for her. He simply rams the hilt of my sword in her stomach hard while running past her. "You are in the way!"

Amelia! I can hear her screaming in pain and I can hear her impacting somewhere. I want to turn around and see if she's alright but I can't. He is only paying attention to the person he is approaching. Why is she still standing there staring at me like that? Why doesn't she run?

"Astral Vine!" I hear Zelgadis' voice somewhere behind me again. "Gourry! Wake up!"

He is quick but he doesn't have a chance. I feel myself jerking around and in the same movement charging at him with full force faster than I can even comprehend myself. My sword hits his own with a strength that pushes it out of his hand and sends Zelgadis tumbling backwards, barely escaping the blow. I hear Lina scream his name when the sword impales the ground somewhere next to her. He mumbles something like "What a strength..", holding his wrist in pain.

At least he got me to stop but... now he... I am standing just a few steps in front of Lina. I can sense bloodlust and satisfaction growing in the aura around me. There are no obstacles anymore..

"G.. Gourry-sama! Please wake up!"

Sylphiel. I hear her pleading voice coming from the right. I had forgotten she was still here. She couldn't possibly do anything. He doesn't even react at all. I want to look at her, just a moment, just making sure she wouldn't do anything reckless. But I can't. My eyes are on Lina and I can't even move them on my own. I am starting to get desperate.

"It's me.. Sylphiel."

What is she doing? She wouldn't be trying to...!

"You saved me so many times..!" she says softly but a bit more confident now, "Please remember!"

He's still not turning to her but I can hear that she's slowly coming towards me.

"You would never allow a Mazoku to manipulate you!" she says out loud and if I could I would cringe under her words. How I wish she was right, how I wish I could fight him..

I can feel something like annoyance developing in the aura around me and I want to scream. Tell her to run away. Not Sylphiel, please, she has nothing to do with this. She's just.. getting in his way.

"Sylphiel!" Zelgadis calls out, realizing the same as I did, "Don't go near him!"

She ignores him and continues to approach me. "Isn't that so..? Say something, Gourry-sama!"

He slowly turns his head.. my head to look at her. I sense... disgust. I know what's going to happen. She is close. She's staring at me, starting to get more insecure again and I can see fear grasping her. She's in sword reach.

"Gourry...sama...!" Her voice is shaking.

I feel my arm being lifted up. He's charging at her. I scream in my mind. I want to close my eyes, I don't want to see...

I didn't expect what happens next. Neither did he.

"No! Sylphiel!" I hear Lina screaming and the next moment the sword is stopped in mid air as it clashes with Zelgadis' sword again. Only the one who's holding it is her. I see myself eye to eye with Lina, sword to sword. Her face is determined and she manages to stand against the force of the Sword of Light for a moment as the one they call Ralthark is caught by surprise as well.

"Don't! Lina!" I hear Zelgaids panicking somewhere behind. Too far away. Too late. I feel an overwhelming increase in the dark aura that's enveloping me. I feel... something like a disgusting and sickening version of cheerfullness and a bloodlust that paralyzes even my thoughts. I can only stare.

The sword is being grabbed tighter and he increases the force on her sword. It is pushed out of her hands at once and I hear her scream. But he doesn't stop there. He doesn't even pause for a second before he strikes back at her without mercy. He doesn't give her any time to react.

I know how it feels to give someone a crucial death blow with my sword. I've been forced to do it far too often and I will never get used to it. When I feel the sword cutting through Lina's flesh I know this is serious. When I see the blood splashing out of her stomach I know this is the kind of wound after that you can turn your back to the opponent without having to worry about him anymore.

"G... Gourry" she merely whispers when she falls to the ground in slow-motion before my eyes. Blood is dripping from her mouth already from her inner injuries. She hits the ground hard, whispering my name again. She reaches out for me but her hand drops back down. She doesn't have any strength left. She doesn't have any time left.

Linaaaaa!

I am aware that everyone is screaming and Sylphiel dashes over to Lina but it doesn't matter anymore. I don't really hear them, I don't really see them. The world has stopped. It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing does. The only thing I see is darkness. The only thing I feel is coldness. The only thing I hear are screams that no one else can hear. Something is broken. Maybe it's me.

Then the laughing starts. He is laughing, cheering over what I have done. Laughing at me. Laughing at Lina and what I have done to her. What he made me do to her. And I am caught in another wave of rage and bloodlust. But this time the feeling isn't coming from outside, not from him.

Something is starting to feel different..

"Now you are free from Chaos Dragon's seal!" He doesn't notice the change. "Be happy, Lina Inverse!"

With every shred of will power and strength I can still find inside of me I concentrate and I feel.. my hand around the sword hilt. It's not numb anymore. Not blurry. I can grip it tighter. I can...

"Now, Shrine Maiden of Sairaag!" he continues, still oblivious. Careless. Satisfied with his victory over me. I will my other hand around the hilt to be able to strike with the most possible strength.. "Cast the Resurrection spell on her! And then..."

He stops and I sense confusion. I feel my body tremble under my effort. For a moment I am in danger of losing control again. I ignore him, I ignore their stares. All my focus is on my hands around the sword, all my thoughts are on vengeance. He will pay. I lift my arms, slowly turning the sword around, pointing it to me. Aiming it on myself.

The armor. The armor is what controlled me. The armor is him. The armor is what I must destroy. Nothing else matters. I don't wish to be free from him anymore, it doesn't matter what happens to me. All I want is to kill the bastard who made me hurt Lina.

He realizes and I sense panic when he struggles to gain control again. "What are you doing! Stop that right..."

I push. With all my strength I push the blade of light into the armor over my stomach. He screams when it goes into it slowly. It's resisting. The armor is... fighting, trying to repell the sword but I push harder, forcing it through the living material. Slowly. I scream and this time it is real. I can hear it with my ears, I am screaming with my voice, with my mouth. I have full control. He is using all of his power to protect himself against the sword.

"You... You are insane!" He screams in pain and disbelief. I ignore him and force the sword deeper. Almost... I'm almost through. Die, you bastard! Die!

"Are you... are you trying to kill us both?" he screams a last time but his realization comes far too late. It is inevitable, right? And after all... what does it matter now? Without Lina... what reason would I have to...?

The sword goes through the armor with a last push, the force drives it deep into my stomach. I hear myself scream in pain and feel the disgusting sensation of hot blood shooting out of my guts and things tearing inside of me that you normally don't feel while they are uninjured. But I don't struggle. I hold the sword without mercy as long as I can hear him scream in agony.

Then from one moment to the other it stops. The armor disappears. The aura fades to nothingness. He is dead. My strength fades and all I feel is unbearable pain and exhaustion when my hands relaese the sword and I fall down to the ground flat on my stomach. I have done what I wanted to. I am free.

Somewhere far away I hear my friends call out my name, both happy that I was back to myself and shocked about what just happened. I am not listening. With all the strength I have left I try lifting my upper body up. I want to crawl over to her but when I almost slip in the rapidly growing lake of blood under me I realize I won't reach her. All I manage is to lift my head up and look into her eyes. She is still alive, staring at me blankly. Pained. Shocked. Tired. Fading.

I promised to protect her. "Li..na.." I somehow get out of my mouth. I try reaching my hand out in her direction but it is pointless now.

I failed. I killed her.

Something dark and cold grabs me again and everything fades away. Or maybe I do. For the last time I can see a spark of life in her eyes as she stares back in horror. Then she is gone.

What's left is darkness.