"Now remember," Lois said, as she rode with Clark in a taxi, "the best thing for you to do is limit your conversation as much as possible. Oh and remember a strong handshake will go a long way with these people, just don't break their hands."

"These people?" Clark asked. "Is that any way to talk about your family?"

"My family? Yes. All Lanes are psychos. Present company excluded of course."

"Of course. So why is your reunion in Tennessee? I never really pictured you from a Southern family."

"I'm not. My grandfather retired there so everyone accommodates him, since he's the patriarch so to speak."

"Is your father going to be there?" Clark asked with a trace of nervousness.

"Don't worry about him. He likes you just fine."

"That's why when we called and told him we had gotten engaged, he threatened to tear me limb from limb and then—"

"He was surprised that's all."

"No one should ever throw that man a surprise party."

"Relax. How's he going to hurt you?"

"He'll find a way."

The taxi pulled up at a large park, where the shelter had been rented.

"Ready to go into the battle zone?" Lois quipped.

"Do I have to?"

"It's this or meet them at the wedding."

"We could elope."

"Come on, you big chicken."

They walked over to join the large family gathering. A few of the men were barbequing, among them General Lane.

"We're here," Lois called out to no one in particular.

"Come here," said an old man, sitting in a lawn chair. They went over. Lois shook his hand. "Hi, Grandpa."

"So this is your young man," he stated, offering his hand to Clark. Clark shook it. "You need to learn to strengthen that grip, young man. You've got a dead fish handshake."

Clark looked at Lois, wondering if he should really strengthen his grip on a 90 some year old man. Lois urged him on, so he strengthened.

Her grandfather removed his hand and shook it as if returning blood flow back into his hand. "Wow, son. That was pretty good. Use that grip all the time. It lets people know you're a force to be reckoned with." Someone else arrived. "Theresa, over here. Holler and let someone know when you arrive somewhere. You're not a mouse."

Lois dragged Clark away, so Theresa could report in.

"Lois!" Lucy called. She had saved them a spot at the picnic table.

"So like I was saying," said a middle-aged woman with big hair, "Wayne tells me after all these years, he's going to fire our cook and make me start doing it to save money and things. I told him right then and there that the Lanes have never produced a woman that could learn to cook. He told me that I was a Stewart now after 30 years of marriage. I didn't argue but he hired the cook back in less than a week."

There were chuckles.

A man came by and tapped Clark on the back, "Why are you hanging out with the womenfolk? Grab a spatula or come toss horseshoes."

"This is my cousin Ed," Lois introduced. "I would recommend horseshoes. The barbecuers have been doing it for years and they don't take kindly to adding new people."

Clark went to play horseshoes. They all argued and swore every time someone tossed a horseshoe. If the tosser missed, someone had distracted him. If they got it around the stake, the tosser cheated. Lois was definitely starting to look like an easygoing person.

When the hamburger and hotdogs were done, someone had brought an actual dinner bell to ring. Lois came over to him and whispered, "You know we'll have to sit with the General, don't you?"

"I was afraid of that," he whispered back.

It wasn't as bad as he thought it would be The General didn't say a word but would occasionally look in Clark's direction and growl. Lucy tried to keep thing extra friendly by chattering away.

After they were all done eating, he finally spoke, "Okay we have to plan a strategy."

"What strategy?" Clark asked before he could stop himself.

"I'm sorry I forgot to tell you, Clark," Lois said. "We have a competition between families. You, me, Daddy, and Lucy will be a team."

The General had silently lit a cigar. It made him seem more intimidating somehow. "If you were vigilant, you would have heard someone talking about it. If you're going to marry my daughter, you have to stay on your toes."

"I told you it was my fault," Lois said angrily.

"And that's another thing," he said without acknowledging Lois' comment. "You are getting the reputation of being a sissy. It's clear that Lois wears the pants in the relationship."

"We're not going to win by arguing," Lucy said.

"Quite right," the General answered. "Now there will be 5 games: the potato sack race, the 3-legged race, the egg toss, a pie eating contest, and a game of wits. There are 4 of us and 7 spots to fill. Lois, the game of wits this year is a rhyme game. You earn your living with words in this family, so you'll do that one."

"So does Clark," Lois interjected.

"Don't interrupt. I have always had the biggest appetite; I'll handle the pie-eating contest. Lucy, Lois, you can do the egg toss."

"What about Clark?" Lois asked.

"I'm sure he can't catch."

"He was a football player in high school."

"Catching an egg is a lot different than catching a football."

"Fine, then he can do one of the races."

"It'll have to be the potato sack race. It's taken you and Lucy years to get as in sync as you are. And you better win, Kent." He then got up to go find a sack for Clark.

Lois whispered to Clark, "Why do you look so afraid? You know you can win."

"Should I though?"

"Sure you should. My family will yell that you cheated but they'll respect you more in the long run."

"I can't believe these people are about to become my family."

"These people?" Lois smiled. "You learn to live with it. Chloe is so lucky she's not related to this side of the family."

"They're not that bad. I'm exaggerating a little."

"Tell me that at the end of the day."

They won everything but the egg toss, so they won the war and as competitive as the Lanes could be, war was the perfect word.

They stayed for a couple more hours. Clark learned about the unusually shaped mole in the unusual place that Uncle Ron had. He also learned that cousin Mary was suspected of shooting her fiancé but it had never been proven. He picked up that all Lanes seemed to go into the military or something equally violent and dangerous. He was glad when Lois was ready to leave.

"Sorry I had to do that to you," Lois apologized. "I know they can be a little much but if you marry a person, you marry their family. So do you want this ring back?"

"That depends. Do we have to go to this reunion every year?"

"I think we can find an excuse to get out of it every now and then."

"Then I guess you can hold onto it for a while longer," he laughed, putting an arm around her.

"I think my dad started to like you a little better after you won that race."

"How could you tell?"

"He didn't growl as much. Don't worry. Your family reunion is next week. I'm sure it will be much nicer and more relaxing."

"If you say so."

"Don't tell me the Kents aren't all wholesome people."

"They're wholesome but a little overwhelming."

"What does that mean?"

"You'll see."

"You're simply trying to get revenge."

He just smiled.

TBC