I Don't

Chapter One
Stephanie Plum stared down at the piles of packages, presents, and greeting cards awaiting her in her living room. Her grandmother had been wrong. The worst part hadn't been calling off her wedding, she thought as she sidestepped the clutter on her way to the bathroom, this was. Two-hundred disappointed guests, and she would have to send them all a personal apology, as well as return the gifts they had bought for her and what was to be her new husband.

On the other hand, she was relieved and confident she had made the right choice. Her relationship with Joe Morelli, even at its best, had been rocky, and the sacrifices they would have had to make in order to keep a relationship—a marriage—afloat would have been too costly for either of them in the long run. Her only regret, she decided as she bent down to adjust the temperature of her bathwater, was that she hadn't had the guts to call it off before the guests had arrived.

Stephanie stood in front of her vanity mirror and took a good long look at herself. Her hair had loosened from the rhinestone hairpins used to secure her wedding day updo, and the makeup she'd so carefully painted on the day before had smeared overnight as she slept on her friend Lula's couch. I look like the Bride of Frankenstein, she thought balefully to herself as she unfastened the hairpins and slathered her face in makeup removing cream. But at least I didn't make the same mistake twice.

Stephanie sank into the water and leaned back, resting her head on the rolled up towel she was using as a pillow. She had been so stressed the past few months, what with planning an organizing the wedding, attending dinners with both of their families, and arranging to have her furniture moved into their new house…

Oh, god, Stephanie thought, remembering she had already given a thirty-day notice on her apartment.

Feeling another pang of anxiety low in her gut, Stephanie forced herself to take in a deep cleansing breath. She could relax for now. It was still early—barely six o'clock in the morning. She would call her landlord later in the day to see if it was too late to renew her lease, as well as call the movers and cancel her appointment with them. Stephanie closed her eyes and did a mental recount of things she needed to do…or undo. In addition to working out her living situation, she would have to speak with the bank and have her name taken off Joe's credit cards and bank accounts, put a notice in with the post office canceling the temporary hold on her mail, and then there was the issue of the unused honeymoon…

Feeling overwhelmed once more, Stephanie again forced herself once again to relax. It would take work, but eventually things would go back to normal.

Well, as normal as her life had ever been. Normal for Stephanie meant blowing up cars, chasing down skips, and putting up with the occasional stalker. Which, Stephanie conceded, wasn't all that normal at all.

Just as Stephanie was getting settled, her cell phone rang from its location on the kitchen counter. Letting out a frustrated groan, Stephanie contemplated letting it go to voicemail, but quickly shook off the notion. She couldn't hide from her family and friends forever. Sooner or later she would have to explain herself.

"I'm coming," Stephanie grumbled aloud in response to the persistent ringing as she rose out of the bath. She wrapped herself in a towel and rushed into the kitchen, tripping over one of the larger wrapped boxes and almost losing her balance in the process.

"Hello?" Stephanie answered as calmly as she could, fighting off the urge to curse at the pending bruise on her ankle.

Lula was on the other end of the line. "It's me," Lula said. "I'm just calling to make sure you got home okay. You sound out of breath. Am I interrupting something?"

Stephanie rolled her eyes. She had been single for less than twenty-four hours, and already she was expected to have moved on.

"No," Stephanie said into the phone. "I tripped over...I think it's an ice cream maker."

"Oh," Lula said, sounding disappointed. "I thought maybe Ranger had heard about your breakup with Morelli and stopped by for a visit."

If only, Stephanie thought before she could stop herself It had been three weeks since Stephanie had seen Ranger, ever since he had left for Miami to take care of his business there. She hadn't so much as heard from him in that time, not since he kissed her in her apartment and told her goodbye. Deep down, she had always suspected she had been the reason he had left so abruptly. More accurately, her wedding had been the reason. Once again, Ranger had moved out of her way to ensure her happiness…

Except it hadn't worked this time. Even with all the hubbub of wedding planning to keep her busy, the last three weeks without Ranger had been the loneliest three weeks of her entire life. Never had she felt so completely alone and unhappy, a realization she now knew had been the determining factor in her calling off her own wedding not two hours before she and her husband-to-be were set to take their vows.

Shaking off her thoughts as best she could, Stephanie turned her attention back to her friend.

"Ranger is still in Miami," Stephanie said to Lula. "I'm not even sure he knows about yesterday. And it wouldn't make a difference if he did know. Ranger and I are just friends. That's all."

"If you say so," Lula said. "You still need help taking back all those gifts?"

Stephanie sighed. "Yeah," she said. "Are you sure you're up for it?"

"Shit, yes," Lula said. "You need anything? Coffee? Breakfast?"

"Breakfast would be good."

"Okay. Give me half an hour," Lula said, followed by a brief pause. "Actually, give me an hour. I think Tank's coming to, and I wanna be here when he gets up, if you know what I mean."

Stephanie was dressed and ready to begin when Lula arrived at her apartment carrying two McDonald's bags and four cups of coffee.

"Damn," Lula said as she tried to navigate through all the clutter of unused wedding favors and unopened gifts. She handed Stephanie one of the bags and two coffees, and took a seat on the edge of the couch. "How'd you get all this shit to fit in your apartment?"

"I don't know," Stephanie said. "Joe had some of the guys from the force bring it all here."

Lula took a drink of coffee and looked over at Stephanie. "I don't want to cause trouble between you and the cop, but his house is twice the size of your apartment. Why didn't he take some of it?"

"I called off the wedding," Stephanie said through a bite of Egg McMuffin, "so it's my responsibility. And besides, I don't think anyone wants their presents back with dog slobber all over them."

"I guess you're right about the dog slobber," Lula said. She finished her breakfast sandwich and wadded up the wrapper. "Where do you want to start?"

Stephanie sunk low on the couch and groaned, not looking forward to the work ahead of them. She pressed her palms against her closed eyes and tried to stay positive. "Why did we let our parents talk us into inviting so many people?"

"You were trying to make everyone happy," Lula said, shaking her head. "It's not the first time, either."

Lula was right, Stephanie thought to herself. Her relationship with Joe, the engagement, the wedding… it had all been to make her family happy. She was sick of seeing the disappointment on their faces, hearing their lectures on how she should settle down, have kids, and get a real job, one that didn't find her in trouble 24/7.

"You're not getting any younger," her mother would tell her, a fact Stephanie knew to be true, having seen the fine lines starting to appear around her eyes. "I don't want you to wake up one day on the wrong side of thirty-five and wonder why you don't have children and a family. What are you waiting on?"

Ranger, Stephanie thought to herself. I'm waiting on Ranger.

Stephanie had finally realized it on the day of her wedding, as she was going over her vows one last time. She could promise to be faithful to Joe, and she could keep that promise. But she couldn't stand before God and her family and give him her heart. Her heart wasn't hers to give anymore. It hadn't been for a long time. Her heart, all of it, belonged to someone else.

Stephanie felt a lump forming in her throat and tried to swallow it down. In her attempt to make everyone else happy, she had made herself miserable.

"You miss him, don't you?" Lula asked

Stephanie snapped alert. "Him, who?"

Lula rolled her eyes. "Don't give me none of that," she said. "You know who. I haven't seen you smile once since he went away on business. And from what Tank tells me, he's not doing too well, either."

"Tank's heard from him?"

"A few times," Lula said. "It's work, mostly. Tank doesn't tell me much, which makes sense because Ranger doesn't tell him much. Probably because he knows I'll tell you. Anyway, Tank's got eyes and ears all over that office in Miami, and what those eyes and ears have been telling him hasn't been pretty."

Stephanie waited for Lula to continue. When she didn't, Stephanie leaned forward and nudged her in the shoulder. "Well?"

"Well, nothing," Lula said. "That's all I know. Just that Ranger's not his usual self."

"In what way?"

"I don't know," Lula said. "But if you ask me, you managed to do to Ranger what no hired assassin has ever managed to do."

"Such as?"

"You shot that poor man right in the heart," Lula said. "And all you had to do was put a ring on your finger."