Sharp & Pointy

By Sofri-chan

Sofri-chan: WARNING: random. This may not be fully accurate because I've only played a little bit of KHII, and read stuff on Wikipedia. So I really don't know that much. But my friend and I had a long discussion about the pointiness of the Keyblade, why Ansem should die, and Riku's shoulders, and this was the result.

(Disclaimer: Don't own KH, or any swords mentioned. Also I don't own the magical Leoplurodon, poptarts if you know where that's from)

"Excalibur. Sword of the great King Arthur. Used to kill a lot of bandits, Saxons, and monsters. Sharp and pointy." a young boy read from a thick book.

"Zar'roc. Sword of Morzan, then Eragon, then Murtagh. Red and evil-looking. Killed Durza. Sharp and pointy."

"Sword of Godric Gryffindor. Pulled out of a hat by Harry Potter. Used to kill the Basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets. Sharp and pointy."

"All these swords. Sharp and pointy. Why is my sword neither sharp NOR pointy?" Sora exclaimed angrily. "IT'S A FREAKIN' KEY!!!"

"Um…Sora?" Riku asked quizzically, blinking as he roused himself from a state of spacing out. "Why are you spazzing about random swords?"

Sora turned his eyes on his friend, sighing gustily. "Riku, what do you think of when you think of sharp and pointy?"

"Hmmm…." the silver-haired boy replied. "Swords, pencils, nail clippers, sporks, pine needles, my shoulders?"

"See! A key does not come to your mind when you think of sharp and pointy! Why, out of all these famous swords, is mine the one that doesn't hurt when you stab people!"

"Oh, I'm sure it does hurt," Riku consoled his friend.

"Oh yeah?" Sora replied, swiftly poking Riku in the shoulder. The just-poked boy remained staring into space, as though nothing had happened.

"See!" Sora exclaimed. "SEE?"

"Wha?" Riku responded. "Did something just happen?"

"Yes, Riku, I STABBED YOU WITH THE KEYBLADE AND IT DIDN'T EVEN HURT!! I TOLD YOU!"

"Oh…that stinks. Hey, maybe you could go to the magical Leoplurodon and ask for a sharper, pointier sword!" Riku suggested blankly, mostly ignoring Sora's rage.

Suddenly, a large yell broke through the air. "POTATOES!!" Ansem appeared in a random bang of light.

Sora, deciding to prove that although the Keyblade was neither sharp nor pointy, it was still dangerous. With a wild yell, Sora beheaded Ansem. Then a spork came and ate Ansem's remains.

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Sofri-chan: R&R. Yes, it was weird.