Un-beta'd, w/c: 405 words
This is a bit of a character study/drabble, I'm not quite sure what I was doing with it.
Kotomine Kirei had never desired anything in life, not wealth, women or power. His lack of ambition created a barrier between himself and the world; he went through life without an investment or attachment to speak of. It didn't matter if he was used, loved or hated; nothing made Kirei feel.
Emiya Kiritsugu was like him, Kirei was sure. Alone, misunderstood, a savage beast in a boring garden; both men were simply tools in schemes far grander than themselves. Kirei was sure. He was sure; Kiritsugu was like him, he had to be like him.
Before Kirei had realized, Kiritsugu was constantly in his thoughts. Building the other man to his unconscious ideals, Kirei's obsession grew. Neither man could love; neither could be loved, they were made to understand each other. They were the same; savage and unfeeling beasts among men, always seeking, never finding. Kirei wanted to hurt, wanted to suffer, wanted to destroy; Kiritsugu could satisfy that, Kiritsugu would be unable to resist giving him that. Would take Kirei's life in his hands, watch him writhing in pain, suffering, dying by his hands, unaffected all the while. Kiritsugu would kill him, he would kill Kiritsugu. Perpetually drowning in each other, drowning away the unfulfilled desires they'd never felt, hurting, being hurt. Kirei shivered, was this excitement, the pleasure his life had lacked?
Kiritsugu lied.
At the end of the grail war, he lied. She lied; his wife who, "loved," him lied even as Kirei squeeze the life out homunculus' corpse. Kiritsugu felt nothing, not compassion, not despair, and certainly not love. Had he become blinded by the liars surrounding him? The homunculus spitting out venomous deceit, warping Kiritsugu into believing fantasy. Kirei knew the truth; Kiritsugu was like him, he had to be like him. Kiritsugu had to be cold, callous, vagrant, a perfect match for Kirei. They all failed to see it, failed to understand Kiritsugu's true nature. Yet, Kiritsugu denied it, even after his confrontation with the grail.
Kirei never saw Kiritsugu after the fourth grail war; Kiritsugu was too feeble, too weak, too broken, clinging to his ideals.
Five years after the war, Kiritsugu died, clinging desperately to his fantasies, he died a slow and meaningless death. It didn't matter anymore though, none of it did, even if Kiritsugu denied himself, Kirei knew the truth. Emiya Kiritsugu had been like him, and Kirei took pleasure in that knowledge.