Harry Potter and the Mask of Sun Dried Mud and Mafia
So Cho Chang took a quick trip to Home Depot before this story began.
Hagrid was also part walrus. Hagrid made himself take pictures of small flowers during the morning of the evening of the dawn of the parrot.
Jerry, which incidentally rhymes with Harry, though they are not spelled the same, for if they were, Jerry would have been spelled Jarry, but then it would be pronounced jar-re. Sposk. Wait, so they rhyme, but it's not of the essence, but time is.
Cho imagined that she lived in a world where she could make frisbees out of naked men. So when she was walking through the forbidden forest, which is named forbidden because of it's chocolately taste, she got an idea. Pasting a mustache to her face, she walked out of the story, never to be seen again.
Hagrid's beard began to grow as he thought about his strange and erotic desires for Severus Snape, who belonged working in a Dunkin Donuts. Our story begins with a cabinet. There are many ways to try to eat the nectar from a honeysuckle.
Harry had to fart. It was a hot, muggy day so it was kind of hard to get the scent of the fart away. Since he was laying in bed next to Hagrid who was still asleep, he decided to pull the covers over his head and fart, enveloping Hagrid in a musty fart smell that could kill. Which it did, since Hagrid died of a fart attack moments after.
Keith Savarese was a kitchen in Hogwarts. He belonged to the Wu-Fan family, and was not able to take his shirt off because his obesity was greater than Dobby's. I jumped off a brick once and landed in the desert.
They all died except Jerry.
Except for Snape, who outlived Jerry.
just.
Only Lucius was not one to wait around. So he donned his uniform, and death eater mask, and walked into the Dunkin Donuts in Hogsmeade, where Snape was working for 8.50 galleons an hour. Two Christmas trees lined the temple. What? Only, Lucius is not one for games, so he said reducto, and the Christmas trees went to Poland, where they belong. Yerven Shlerven. That was the town where they landed in a heap on top of Cho Chang. This caused her mustache to fall off and land in a puddle of wax. It made a funny noise, so she laughed before suffering from the effects of crushed organs.
Musical organs, of course. She liked to play in church.
Seventy-three.
Lucious entered the dunkin donuts only to find himself butt to butt with Snape's nose. Snape was wearing tighty blackies that accentuated his rock hard 16 pack which surpassed Gackt's 15 pack.
Hagrid took a truck-load shit.
Snape would not let his nose inhale the scent of Hagrid's cow-pies. So he taped it with some duct tape and caution streamers. The effects from this turned Snape into a piece of carrot casarole. Only Lucius was not one for bodily functions, so he ripped off his mask, and ate it, skipping the digestive process. This caused him to die of death, so he died. Only Lucius was not one to lay down and die, so he died standing up. Snape was not surprised by Lucius' dead figure standing in line, waiting for a coffee coolata. Lucius' eyes snapped open and he said, i cannot drink this drink for I have dranken a mask. Snape knew how to cure this, so he summoned Keith Savarese the ktichen, and told the Wu-Fan to make a brick. This brick hovered precariously over a desert of gnomes.
There were many reasons why Cho Chang could be a delivery boy.
Hitch hiker.
The.
Princess.
Candy fritz.
Apple pie.
Jerry.
Santa Claus a la mode.
So Cho Chang entered the desert of Gnomes, dressed in nothing but a potato sack. She back flipped in slow-motion, and the gnomes were impressed. But after signing a song about Harry spreading his cracked and distant wings of hate, she. Then Gackt, heard of this, and ended the sentence because he knew that she would be infringing upon his gnomes.
So Snape put the brick in Lucius' face, and he was cured, for he now had a new mask. Pocahontas knew that she didn't have a part in this story either, so she died. So did her bf John Smith.
Judge Judy is gonna eat your babies.
But then Ron decided that he had other talents besides walking and farting simultaneously, so he decided to add something into that mix. He thought, If i walk, fart, and sing, perhaps...but only Lucius was not one for merriment, so he appeared in a cloud of bricks, and farted in Ron's mouth for a year and a half. Now you may think that sounds bizarre, but Lucius is a man with a plan, and he knows that farts kill farts, so ron's fart's fled into the forbidden forests with the bricks following suit. Jerry.
In the end, Jerry realized that Harry's dad's name was not James, but was really Jerry. This discovery led Jerry to realize that this made him Harry's father, though they were not related, but jerry isn't a smart fart, only Lucius is not one for smarts, so as you can guess, he is the reason that Jerry's intelligence is sub par. Par being Lucius' golf score. Eagle. Titanium. Have you seen my titlist 3? Oh its over there? But Lucius is not one for golfing games, or any games, so he ate the ball and died of cancer. Only Lucius isn't one for cancer, so he changed his cause of death to brick.
Lucius Malfoy. 34. Cause of Death: Brick.
THE END.