This is just a one shot, or maybe a two shot, idk.

Can't love him.

Bonnie is in a relationship with her fiancé, who's been cheating on her, He solicits his best friend to baby sit her so he can do his dirt. They begin having an affair. She has to make a decision when one is tired of sharing her.

My phone won't stop ringing. It's him calling me. Why? Why today of all days, did he decide, 'I need to call her?'

He never calls me.

Whatever. I'm not answering.

When I woke up my hair smelled like cigarettes. And my breath was hot and sticky. This happened frequently when he and I got together. He was like a drug for me. He came as a hiccup in my life when I needed it. You know the bump in the road that makes you spill your coffee on your perfectly, ironed white button up blouse when you are on your way to work during rush hour traffic. The day that you decide to car pool and the person in your passenger seat, looks at you funny when you get in the carpool lane and there is only two of you instead of three. That was who he was to me. He was that small occurrence that dared to change my day and throw me off. He defied gravity in the world of Bonnie.

I enjoyed our time together, it was the only time I felt free. He was reckless, and open, and spontaneous. We never planned our time together. We just started and let the day lead us. "Carpe Diem" he told me. I would smile at the notion because his whole life was bits and pieces of seized moments that he'd taken from me. We bought a polaroid camera, you know, the old school instaprint ones, like from the eighties that printed those on the spot pictures with the green tint to them. I have a couple hundred pictures of us. I look at the idea of he and I and wonder, could this work, forever?

When we wake up like this, I suppose I could feel dirty and unkept. I don't. I feel powerful, and Earthy. I feel as though I'm living life. Enzo grabs me and pulls me into him just as I try to get up. He does every morning we wake up together. Have you ever felt like someone was afraid to let you go?

Enzo's morning breath of whiskey and cigarettes is long overdue for meeting with mine. It's been a couple of hours since we fell asleep, but I could kiss him all day. Then someone knock at the door of the hotel and he gets up to answer it. I tell him to put clothes on, he doesn't. I laugh, and then we kiss. He and I are simple.

I don't love him. (Smirks)

What? I don't.

I can't. He's my fiancé's best friend.

Now before you go thinking I'm a horrible person, my situation is complicated. Lorenzo and I met through Damon. He is Damon's oldest friend. However, when we met our circumstances were being thrown together by Damon, so that he could do his dirt. He used Enzo to distract me. Not in a romantic way, just as a babysit my girlfriend kind of way. Little did he know, we had sex that night.

It was the first time I felt alive in a long time. He reached my body in ways Damon had forgotten about. He worked me like a I was a woman fed up, because I was. I get hot every time I think about that night. I love waking up next to him.

But…

I don't love him.

I can't.

I yearn for him, and it makes me crazy. He knows it does, he plays on every emotion he elicits out of me. He's also a terrible flirt. Not with other women, with me. He is not good at it, which is why I love his effort. He is the worst flirt I have ever met. But the efforts are so pathetic they are endearing, and I get turned on. I laugh, thinking how bad he is of a flirt.

Unlike my fiancé.

He's a great flirt. I know this because he proves it every time we are together and a pretty girl gives him attention. Which happens often. Damon flirts shamelessly with women right in my face, knowing the way it makes me feel. His current conquest, is one Elena Gilbert. She is beautiful woman that works for his family as an accountant. He met her working late with her one night fixing some errors in his parents spending reports. He never came home that night. That was our three-year anniversary. I waited up all night for him. I never went to bed. Come sunrise, I went back to my own place. A place I hadn't really been to for about a year at that point.

Well, let's clarify, Damon and I moved in together. Oops. Correction. I moved in with Damon. I kept my Condo, and left all of my belongings there. I simply stayed at Damon's every night, to the point that if I left to go back to my place, he would ask why I don't want to be at home with him. On that particular evening when Damon didn't come home, I decided it was time to go back to my small colorful condo in the city, and let him stay in his tidy, clean place in the burbs. There was no need to be disrespected further. Damon has been openly and publically dating Elena for a year. His family is very happy for them. Wondering when they are getting engaged. He feeds into it.

You may be wondering how I know.

Well. Five months ago, when Damon decided I needed a babysitter to go out on the town with me, since he couldn't make it, he sent me Enzo. I had never met Enzo, because he lived in England, he came back to the states, for a temporary business venture. Yes. He can leave any day now. I know.

He and I don't live that way though. We take it a day at a time. We tend to spend every weekend together. Now that I stay at my place, Damon and I spend fewer weekends together. I asked him if we could just have a trial separation to see how it goes. He said no. He told me I am his girl and that no one else could have me.

Yet he hasn't fucked me in months.

I am not complaining. I'm simply stating facts.

He hasn't touched me.

I'm just the artist fiancé, that gave him an entire three years of her life. Her all, her everything, her passion, her heart. I gave him fantasy; I gave him excitement.

The only thing I never gave him was my soul. That could quite possible be, because this guy right here captured mine, with his. Our souls have been playing together ever since.

When I met Damon, I had his routine down the first couple of months of our relationship. He is a Type A personality, anal at every angle, business man. He has two closets. One has all of his work clothes. His work clothes are pressed and delivered every week after he wears hem. The entire closet is filled with pressed, name brand suits that have an inch of space between them so that they do not touch. He shaves twice a day so that he is always clean looking. Damon is half Italian and half Armenian, so, needless to say he is hairy by nature. And I love a hairy man. But he has his body waxed every week. Except his manhood. Thank God. I hate a shaved bare penis. Damon ate hand delivered dinners, when he was out late, and at home his chef prepared everything. He washed his hands for twenty-five seconds every time. And he washed his hands a few times an hour.

He was very OCD, which never bothered me. What bothered me, was he found a woman who fit his mold. I was too outside of the box for him. He let me know that the minute his family been introduced to Elena AS his girlfriend, before they met me. When I had been around three years and she had been around a couple of months. Sure she was his parents accountant, but no one knew of her, why did he have to announce her in a way that I'm still in the shadows.

Now, I have a dilemma, this man before me is not my fiancé. I know I am wrong. No matter how wrong Damon is. I should never have slept with his best friend.

His shirt looks good on me; I say as I look at my body draped in his old shirt. His cologne, is turning me on. I need to understand something, why can't I just let him go?

I asked him who got the privilege of seeing him in all of his glory when he answered the door and he told me housekeeping. I laughed, because I know I can't let those parts of him go. His spontaneity, his humor, his ability to make me giddy. He also has the ability to make me angry. He is so damned passionate about things sometimes, just as I am. Then we argue for pointless reasons, and we get pretty nasty with one another. But the make up sex is incredible.

You know something weird, Damon and I never fight. He disagrees then I disagree, then I change to conform because he is always right.

Enzo and I argue all of the time, and we make up and move on. I must admit, I love arguing with him. There is something sexy about a passionate man that believes in something. Even if the argument is as pointless as to whether or not Cap'n crunch is better with or without crunch berries.

This room smells like debauchery, I say. He laughs, and tells me that's why I like him. His debaucheries have rubbed off on me. I drank a shot of tequila this morning to help my hangover. It helped my head, but not my hot sticky mouth. I don't have a toothbrush with me. This room was spur of the moment. He kisses me and tasted the remnants of last night on my tongue. He didn't even care, he searched for the flavor my tongue offered and he slurped me up. When he lifts me up and carried me to the counter top I lose my mind feeling him hard beneath me. His body immediately pulls the wetness from inside of me. It's not about his body hardness, it's about his smell, and his bodies reaction to my smell. When we sweat together the smell is so beautifully musty that it makes me wetter. It makes me want him more. Our smell, together is so warm, and sweaty, and dirty.

Damon who?

He cheated on me for years. I was faithful for three years. It wasn't until he made Enzo baby sit me that I even looked the direction of another man. And sadly enough the very first time my eyes wonder, I actually stray. That night Enzo took me like a man takes a woman, He controlled me, he fucked me, he made me cum. He did this all night, and afterwards he held me. Yeah, that's how a man does it. He makes sure she cums, and he always holds on to her.

Enzo holds me against his sweaty hot body, and we stick together. But together non-the-less. I love how he holds me to him.

I don't love him, though.

I can't.

He's not my fiancé.

But he works my body and my mind better than my fiancé.

When he carries me to the bathroom countertop, it doesn't take long for him to pull my panties down, but no, he wants to be dirty about it and he pulls them to the side, then pulls my body to his at the edge of the counter so he can place himself in the right position to enter me. He whispers against my neck in that thick accent of his, "I don't want to share you anymore."

I stop him then and there.

He can't do this to me. He can't tell me this. Not right now. We have such a good thing going right now. We have every weekend together. We text every day, and I see him and hear from him more than Damon. Why is he trippin?

I just look at him and say nothing. He grabs my wrists roughly, then he pins them behind my back with one of his hands and uses his other arm and pulls me to his cock roughly. He plays with my entrance a bit and he knows I hate being teased. I remain quiet because he is trying to ruin this game we have. This relationship we have sort of built. The second he changes it; we won't be the same. I can't let him do that. I can't let him change this.

"Stop teasing me."

"I said I don't want to share you anymore, Bonnie."

"Enzo, don't ruin this."

"Is that it, he can treat you like shit, and you can treat me like shit? The vicious cycle just keeps going."

"No that isn't it. The second you change this; we feel differently about one another. I like what we have. Now quit teasing me with your cock and please fuck me."

He stops talking and does what we do best. We get lost in the moment and he's inside of me before I know it. While he pushes in and out of me I just close my eyes and get lost in his thrusts. Every thrust is like a reminder of how much I need him, and can't risk losing him. Not because of his thrusting perfection, but because of his ability to make me feel all of his emotions when he fucks me. He's so emotionally connected to me, and when he's inside of me, I feel his contentment with us. I don't feel him straying. I feel that he is 100% engrossed in me. My body takes his and accepts his demeanor. Especially the rougher he gets with me. Pound for pound he pushes into my walls with such pain.

Pain? Why does he feel pain right now?

I should comfort him.

I should do or say something.

I can't.

I just selfishly let him fuck me. I hear my cell phone ringing in the other room. We both know who it is. The phone ring worsens the situation.

He carries me into the room and lays me down. He waits for my phone to ring because he has been ringing all morning.

It rings.

He answers it.

I freak out, what was he doing. I fought to stop him but I couldn't risk making a sound.

What is he doing?

Why is he doing this?

Fuck me, fuck my life.

"Hello mate."

"Why am I answering your girlfriend's phone you ask?"

"Well, she's occupied at the current moment. I can take a message though."

And as he pushes into me harder and harder, forcing me to moan, he puts the phone to my mouth and says, "Tell him why I'm answering your phone Bonnie. Oh wait she can't. I'm too busy fucking her."

Click.

He hangs up.

I try to stop him, I get up and he pushes me back down. "Enzo."

"Shut up, Don't talk."

He proceeds to fuck me so much more roughly to finish us off. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he couldn't just give me time. I get up after wards, and he kisses me. He apologizes and he says he knows he fucked up.

I go back to my place alone. I need time to think.

I walk in looking cheap and smelling of Enzo's sex. My favorite smell. As I enter my place, its dark, and cold. I've been with Enzo for the last 72 hours. I don't bother turning on lights. A familiar aroma hits my nose. One that I rarely smell anymore. If I didn't know any better, I'd think Damon was here. I head to my room, still not turning on lights. I start to strip down to my birthday suit. I walk into the bathroom, and that is the first time I turn on a light. I start a hot shower and I just let the water hit my body. I cry because I don't want to make a decision. Although, I shouldn't have to. The decision has been made already.

I can't love him. (crying)

He isn't Damon, right.?

I think about him, and how he reminds me of LOVESONG by the Cure, to a tee. That is Enzo.

The song doesn't say much. It says the same thing over and over. But the few words it says, is Enzo.

I can't keep this in. I have to tell him now. I'm just going to grab my phone and send him the youtube video.

After a few seconds I send it, then wait for a reply. I step in the shower, to finish up.

As soon as I wash him all the way off of me, I get ready to get out. As I open the curtain He steps in.

Not Enzo.

Not the man it just took me five months to say I loved.

No, the man who has been cheating on me for almost four years.

I just stare at him, afraid, and unsure.

He looks at me with no emotion, except hurt. His eyes are red. He's been crying.

Damon's been crying?

My heart broke for him because, I have never seen Damon Salvatore like this. He pulled me to him, right into his body.

"Damon I can't do this."

He put his fingers on my mouth to shush me. He took me into a kiss, the most passionate kiss he's ever laid on me.

He looked at my engagement ring, which was no longer on my finger, but on a necklace around my neck. He felt like a piss poor excuse of a man. He knew, that Enzo must have told me about Elena.

"I'm sorry." He says looking at me.

He grabs me and makes love to me. In the shower.

He really doesn't give me a chance to fight him off. He just kind of takes me and makes love to me a way he has never made love to me before.

His thrusts are painfully slow, but beautifully erect inside of me as I stand in the shower and he pushes himself upwards into me. His body is rubbing against mine, causing friction against my clit and he's so deep inside of me, I have to stand on my toes with one leg, and he holds the other leg above his shoulder. His dick is in my stomach and I almost want to cry. I haven't felt Damon's body in months. He hasn't touched me in months, and I remember how beautifully hard he fucked me, and how he loved being buried deeply inside of me.

"I'm sorry Bonnie, I know this isn't the best way to ask for our forgiveness, I just wanted to make you feel good. I missed your body. I missed your pussy. I missed you. I'm a fuck up. I know I am. I also know I don't deserve you. I never have, I just can't seem to do the right thing by you. But I promise if you give me a chance, I will make it up to you. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

I really wish he would just fuck me and not talk. I don't want to think about it all. I just want to feel him, it's been months.

Oh my God. No.

Enzo.

Am I betraying Enzo? With my fiancé?

I can't focus on any of that now. I am about to cum, Good Lordy, this man still has it.

He made me cum and now I'm sleepy.

I am feeling lost and confused and ready to sleep it all off and worry about it tomorrow.

Until…

After about an hour I got a text back from Enzo. His response to my video text. Which I totally wasn't expecting and forgot about, no thanks to Damon.

"I love you too."

Damnit. I can't deal with this sh*t right now.

This could be a one shot or a two shot. I haven't decided if Ill add one more chapter to this one yet.