Author's notes- First thing: Hello everybody. This is my first fic and I hope I haven't left many unintentional errors. This fic is more or less a spoof of the whole "All your base are belong to us" thing. If you don't know what I'm talking about this will make no sense, and it probably won't make any sense even if you do. If you would like to know what this is about go to http://www.planettribes.com/allyourbase/index.html
I don't own anything in this fic.
Remember: You must have listened to the "All your base" song for this to make sense. And most of the grammar errors are intentional.
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In the year 2001 Team Rocket was annoying.
By Drake the Great
Within some old condemned warehouse in the not so pleasant district of Cerulean city two thieves were dressing in ridiculous outfits and a cat type pokemon was sitting in a corner trying to contain his hysterical laughter.
"So Meowth, why are we wearing these stupid disguises?" Jessie said while she tried to contain her anger as she dressed in the horribly made and even more horribly fitting outfits.
Meowth looked up to Jessie and James struggling to put on the costumes. "Uh..well.. Dars dis Sci-FI convention goin on near here and wes are gonna fit in perfectly with dos weirdoes."
Jessie continued to glare at the cat as she finished pulling on the pants.
"Thanks for helping us out with that new motto last night. Where did you come up with such great creativity?" James asked while trying to figure out how to put mask of electronics and junk onto his face.
"Well.. uh.." he stammered as he stuffed a laptop into his bag. "That's just why I'm da top cat around here."
"You're the only cat around here!" she practically yelled while tearing the shirt to get it to fit.
"So? Any way hurry up cause those twerps are comin soon."
"I'm ready." James said with a dramatic swish of his purple cape.
"OK Dare almost here. You sure dat trap's gonna work?"
"Of course, Meowth. James has already "tested" it." Jessie said with a sigh.
Meanwhile just down the road Ash with pikachu on his head, Misty, and Brock were walking down the road. Ash had more of a hop in his step than usual.
"I'm the master.." he said more to himself than anyone else.
"Yes Ash. We know already." Misty said in an exasperated tone. "You have reminded us more than enough through the past week."
"But it feels so good!" he exclaimed as he stared at his Master's badge pinned to his jacket.
""I" don't feel very good after hearing you constantly go on about how "badly" you beat Gary. I also don't like having to walk all the way back to Pallet! Why didn't you just accept the ride Prof. Oak offered when we were at the Johto stadium?"
"Well..."
"Don't blame him for not wanting to be in a car for few hours with Gary..." Brock said sarcastically.
"Besides, we can see each person's family this way. A couple blocks over and we'll be at your gym, Misty."
"Wait a second... Why are we going there?!" she exclaimed.
"Uh... I thought you wanted to see your family..?"
But Misty didn't have time to respond because what they thought to be pavement crumbled beneath them.
"What happen?" Ash meekly asked from his crumpled position from the bottom of the pit.
"Someone set us up this hole." replied Misty while rubbing her bottom. "We see someone." She said while staring at two figures dressed in very odd cyborg costumes.
"What?"
"Just look up there."
Suddenly some very weird techno-sounding music started playing.
"How are you twerps?" said the first badly costumed cyborg. He was trying very unsuccessfully to change his voice, but he still had a hint of his usual "high class" voice. He looked completely insane wearing a purple cape, a mask made of junk that covered half his face, and blue hair down to his shoulders.
"All your pikachu are belong to us." said the second one who was wearing the same costume but she had her long hair in a gravity defying ponytail thing to the side.
"You are on the way to destruction" said the first who was obvious by now to be James.
Ash made an extremely dramatic pose with on hand on his forehead and the other clenched in a fist in front of him. "What you say?!"
At this point pikachu was sleeping at his feet and Brock was in a fit of laughter hitting the ground at random times.
"You have no chance to win." stated Jessie.
"Hand over now."
They both then gave their most infamous laughs.
Then both sides were silent as the weird technoish music began to get faster and slightly louder until it finally reached a thumping and crashing of symbols at which point Team Rocket began singing the phrase "All your pikas pikas pikas. All your pikas are belong to us." and dancing to the music then every once in a while stop singing and just dance.
Misty was the first to snap out of the trance of staring at the seemingly insane Team Rocket members. She immediately noticed Brock in a heap of laughter.
"Brock? Brock?! What the hell is so funny?!"
At Misty's sudden exclamation Ash stopped staring at the dancing pair.
Pikachu slept on.
Now wiping away the tears from his eyes Brock looked up to Misty. "Well... When I was at the Johto stadium Joy's house she showed me this site on the internet about this badly translated Sega game. For some reason there is an almost cult following a phrase in it "All you base are belong to us."
"When were you at Nurse Joy's house?"
"Uh..um... well. We watched the finals at her house because our TV went out."
"But Brock, you were in the stands with me when Ash won. You were also with us at the party. Well for most of it. Until you left with Joy to heal your pokemon. But why were neither of you at the center when we got there.?"
"Uh..heh..well... Hey Ash! Shouldn't you go ahead and take care of Team Rocket?" he asked almost pleadingly.
Around this time the two would be thieves stopped singing and looked expectantly at Ash.
"Oh yeah!" He then grabbed a pokeball. "For great justice! Go pokeball!"
But for some odd reason he didn't throw the pokeball. In fact he started singing to the music.
"Go ball. Go ball. Go ball. I know what I'm doing. Go pokeball!"
And he kept on singing...and singing.. Until Misty slapped the back of his head.
"What'd you do that for?!" Ash glared at Misty.
Oddly enough at this exact point in the music when Ash stopped singing an instrumental solo of some sort started.
"Why do you think I hit you!? Hurry up and throw the stupid pokeball!"
The instrumental solo now stopped and was replaced by another set of "All your pikas your pikas. All your pikas are belong to us." from the Team Rocket members.
But none of the teenagers paid any attention to them.. Except for Brock who was still laughing every once in a while.
"Misty! I think I know how to throw a pokeball! I don't need your help to use a one."
"Ash you need a lot of professional help for your balls..."
"What?" Ash asked thoroughly confused.
"Never mind, Ash" she said while rubbing her head. "Could you please just throw it?"
"Uh...ok.." And when Team Rocket stopped singing he called holding out the syllables as long as he could. "Go pokeball!"
Following that was a resounding explosion from charizard's flamethrower attack which woke up the peacefully sleeping pikachu.
"Pika pika pika pika pika pika pika!" the mouse yelled as fast as he could.
Flying off in the distance one could faintly make out "You have no chance to survive. Make your time."
Finally the weird technoish music stopped.
After Misty hitting Brock with a mallet to get him to stop laughing and climbing out of the hole everything seemed right in the world.
"Hey" said Misty "I think I see the gym right up ahead! It's been a long time since I've seen it."
"Yeah. So Brock? Why did you miss most of my party?"
"Um... I'll tell you later, Ash." Much later, he thought to himself.
Suddenly Ash's pokedex, Dexter which was sticking out of his jacket pocket came to like while pointed to a man in a purple cape. "Cats. The cybornic pokemon. Tries to take over all your base by setting us up bombs."
All three of the companions stared at the computer then towards the man.
"What the..?" Ash started but was then interrupted by Brock.
"Just keep walking, Ash."
"But-"
"Just keep walking," Misty stated.
Meanwhile at Team Rocket Headquarters-
"Imbeciles!!" Giovanni yelled at the two field agents he had called for after reviewing their latest attempt of capturing the ungodly powerful pikachu.
"How could you mock me so blatantly right in front of our surveillance cameras?!"
"S-Sir. What do you mean?" The braver of the two, Jessie asked.
"Enough! Do you think I should go ahead and can world domination project number 2342? Do you?!"
"No, sir." James managed to squeak out.
"Then get out of my sight before I have you fired! Or worse: put on HQ bathroom duty."
"Yes, sir" They managed a salute while trembling in fear then ran out of the room.
Giovanni leaned back in his chair while stroking the pet persian in his lap and thinking about his old plan for world domination. Number 2342. It was set in motion back in the early 90's and so far was working perfectly. Its funny, he thinks, release a badly translated game to a console gaming system that isn't very popular and almost ten years later it has a cult following. But little do they know that that one phrase is slowly brainwashing them. Them. Some of the most important or will be important people behind the internet and computer world.
"Delilah." he called his faithful secretary. "Hold all calls. I'll be on line."
He then silently and swiftly logged onto Yahoo (another one of his many companies) chat. User name: SexyMan69.
The End?
Notes- In the words of Ranma Saotome-"Sorry about this."