Hi. This was posted as an April Fools Joke, which is why it was submitted under the romance/drama genres. It has now been switched to humour. This is not the first time I have done something like this, although this may be the most intense reaction I have received. I don't take it to heart, of course, I knew people would react poorly to it when I wrote it. I have a pretty twisted sense of humour. It was not my intention to inflame hate towards Beckett, but people who have those opinions certainly have the right to talk about it.
We must also remember that Beckett and Castle are fictional characters who cannot get offended by a fanfiction story. This was just supposed to be a bit of fun on April Fools Day, and I certainly did have fun reading all the nasty things written about me and my writing. As I said, I have a pretty sick sense of humour.
Of course, it was also never my intention to cause distress to anyone but any mentally sound person can tell the difference between fanfic and canon and so this is not an apology.
I got the idea from a thread on imdb a few years ago wherein somebody compared a very similar scenario to what occurred in this fic to the notion of Castle disowning Alexis for her behaviour in the early part of season six. I found it hilarious and the idea stuck with me. I don't intend on continuing this, but if I get enough requests I do have an idea of how I would do so and no, it would not involve dreams or Castle paying a prank. I think I'm ok leaving it marked complete for now. Thanks for reading.
Captain Beckett entered her office with a stack of paperwork. She promptly dropped the papers at the sight that greeted her.
Her husband, Richard Castle, fly undone, urinating on her desk.
For several moments she didn't – couldn't – react, merely standing there in shock. Finally, she returned to herself and managed to say something.
"Castle!"
Rick threw a smirk over his shoulder as he tucked himself back into his pants.
"Oh, hey, honey. How's work been?" he said in an oddly cavalier manner as he turned around to face her.
"What the hell are you doing?!"
"Well, as much as I pride myself on my words, I felt like actions would speak louder in this case. I mean, really, there's no coming back from this."
"You're not wrong there. What has gotten into you?"
"Nothing. I just…" he took off his ring and put it into her hand. "I don't want to be married to you any more."
Up until now, this situation hadn't felt real, but as she stared at the gold band in her hand, she was beginning to have the sickening feeling that it was.
"I – I thought we were moving past everything - "
'Oh, it's not about that, my little English pastry. No, I was willing to endure that as long as I could keep gettin' the bootay but then I realised, it's getting old."
"Keeping our relationship secret?"
"No, your ass. Actually, all of you. I mean, I'm Richard freaking Castle. I could be dating supermodels or that chick with the big lips from Bold and the Beauitiful. Instead, I'm stuck with a police captain who wears a pantsuit. A pantsuit, Beckett! You used to dress sexy. You used to wear heels even when it was totally inappropriate!"
"Castle, if this is some kind of joke, it's not funny."
"Oh, no, I'm not joking. I'll be serving you with divorce papers tomorrow. Toodle-oo, you sick puppy!"
With that, he patted her on the head and walked out the door, leaving Kate staring after him.