This is a one shot I did to scrub my mind of Lizzie going to Tom in the rain. May be a bit ooc but I needed this.
Lizzie finally made it back to her hotel room and changed out of her wet clothes. She had run to Tom, but after all they had been through, she wasn't sure that was even a good choice. She realized moments after he pulled her into a hug, it felt wrong. His shoulders weren't the right breadth that always made her safe. His smell didn't make her want to lean in and inhale. She had abruptly pulled away from him and left without explanation, she couldn't really tell him it was because he wasn't Red. She had been denying her feelings for Red beneath the anger, but she knew now she could deny them no longer, but how to deal with Red in the meantime was still puzzling. She was just getting into bed when there was a knock on her door. There could be only one person that could be. Resigned, she put on her robe and opened the door, knowing he would keep knocking or calling until they talked.
He stepped into the room and took off his fedora while looking around in distaste. "Just say the word and I will buy you another apartment. I hate knowing that you are in this place." He looked at her then and noticed how tired and sad she looked. She just shook her head and looked away. He wasn't sure coming here could do any good, but he knew he had to try, to get back to some semblance of trust. "Why would you go to Tom Lizzie? He doesn't have any of the answers you want, but I can not give them to you right now. Why can't you trust me. I am only trying to protect you."
She flung her arms out, exasperated with him. "I don't know who to trust anymore Red. Tom says not to trust you, you say not to trust Tom, but you're both keeping things from me."
He took a few steps toward her and stopped just before entering her personal space. Not wanting to send her running from him again. "That's the thing about heartache Lizzie, you start doubting who you can trust in this world and suddenly you can't trust anyone anymore."
She took a deep breath, not wanting to have this conversation with him. "Why are you here, you should be resting, you need to get better"
He took the last step needed to breach her personal space. "I could be Lizzie, but I would rather make you feel better." He placed his hand on her arm and stroked her from shoulder to wrist then let go and moved to wander the room. "I need to take you to Indonesia's Kawah Ijen. It is a volcano near East Java that erupts blue lava from its crater. At her look of sincere doubt, he chuckled and continued. The volcano spews sulphuric gases into the air, which is set ablaze by the heat of the magma, making it appear blue." He looked at her again, wishing he really could sweep her up and carry her away from all of this. "Sometimes a change of scene is all a person needs to find their center. I want to see you happy"
She couldn't believe he thought going somewhere, with him, was going to be enough to find her center. She collapsed on to the edge of the bed, weary of everything, just wanting to get off this roller coaster. Could she trust him, would he burn her in the end? Maybe she should just take a leap of faith, she needed those answers and maybe if she held on long enough not only would she have the answers but he would still be there too. She heaved an intense sigh. "I am really trying to trust you Red, but it's difficult. I want to be happy, but when I am being pulled in so many different directions, it's not that easy."
He walked to stand in front of her, his hand came up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and then stroke her cheek. "Oh Lizzie, even the sun can be overwhelmed by a thunderstorm, don't be so hard on yourself. This too shall pass." he wanted to hold her again and be able to tell her everything would be ok, he just wanted her to be ok.
"I want and need answers from you. She cut him off before he could tell her no again. My need and want are the same when it comes to this." She looked at him pleadingly, hoping against hope that he would break and tell her.
He looked at her with sadness in his eyes. His ticks starting to go mad. There was nothing he could say that would not put her in more danger than she already was. Knowing Lizzie, if he armed her with any information she would launch headfirst to find out more, throwing all caution to the wind. He could not let that happen. "I have already told you I wont tell you about that night. Your memories were blocked for a reason and not lightly. Knowing these things will not bring you closure or happiness. You need to trust me. Please Lizzie."
She felt so tired of him not telling her things, trying to protect her like a child. Is that how he felt about her? She certainly hoped not, her dreams would make her want to throw up everything she had eaten for a week if that's all he felt towards her. She had run to Tom thinking that it was just because she hadn't been with anyone in a while and Red was closest to her, but she realized that wasn't the case. Well if he wasn't going to give her answers about her past, she would get answers for the present. She stood up which put her directly in his personal space. She waited for him to back up a step to put some distance between them, but when he didn't she felt emboldened. He kept his eyes glued to hers but that damn mask was there, she couldn't read anything from his face. She needed to knock him out the carefully constructed character of the Concierge of Crime and see Raymond. "I need answers from you Raymond." She saw the surprise briefly in his eyes at her use of his first name, but of course he quickly hid it, but she saw it all the same. She rose up on her toes and leaned into him, touching her nose to his and looking in his eyes.
He was lightheaded at having her so close. He would have to work hard to keep his guard up. "Lizzie, I have already told you..."
She cut him off with a brief touch of her lips to his. "I'm not looking for those answers." She kissed his cheek, his jaw and his neck, biting on his pulse point and then licking over the spot to sooth it.
He growled and grabbed her arms to push her back slightly so he could see her. "Lizzie, I don't think this this is what you want. You are just still angry with me. I should leave and let you get some rest, tomorrow might bring a bit of clarity for you."
As he moved to go around her, she grabbed a hold of his hand. "Please don't leave me before you answer my question."
He turned to study her. Her eyes were soft and open. Was that desire he saw? He wouldn't put it past her to manipulate him to try to get answers. But she looked so vulnerable, how could he walk away now.
"You haven't asked a question Lizzie. How can I answer that which has not been asked."
She pressed herself up against him again loving how he did not back up. "I want to know why you won't give up on me, do you want me like I want you, despite how frustrated you make me?" She ran her hand up his chest and wound her arms around his neck pressing her forehead against his.
He grabbed her waist and brought her flush against him and kissed her. He gently put pressure on her chin with his thumb until she opened up to him and he kissed her with a passion that had them both panting and had to stop to catch their breath. He was lost and he knew it. "I want you Lizzie, I have wanted you for a while. But I need to know if this is really what you want. I can't commit to this, to you, and that is what I would be doing if we continue, and have you turn away from me again. I won't let you string me along. If your only purpose is to completely wreck me and see me broken, you are already almost there and I am begging you to just tell me to go and I will leave you forever. This bullet. He took her hand and laid it over where the bullet struck him. Is nothing compared to the damage of you leaving me after we are together. "
She could see the truth of it in his eyes, he had never been this open to her before. "I want answers to all of my questions of who I am to you and what happened that night and I know they will come in time. Patience doesn't seem to be one of my virtues lately, but if it really is for my protection and not some ploy to manipulate me, then I will wait. But what I won't wait for anymore is this. I am tired of dreaming about you touching me only to wake up and remember that I'm angry at you and you at me, it has me frustrated and on edge. Is there a way we can meet in the middle and make this work? Will you be able to share things with me, I'm always in the dark where you're concerned, I need to know that there is some level of trust between us."
Red bent and kissed her eyes and nose. "None of this was ever about manipulating you sweetheart. It has always been to protect you. We can work on the trust issue, we both could use some improvement there." He gave her a pointed look.
She laughed, a genuine laugh that he had never hoped to hear. "Ok, so what now? Will you stay with me, I am really not looking forward to a night of naughty dreams leaving me unfulfilled in the morning, especially after that kiss."
Red caressed her cheek. "On one condition Lizzie...stay away from Tom. He felt her tense and hoped this wouldn't lead to another argument. He is the one manipulating you, I don't know what he is trying to gain, but I don't believe that it is in your best interest."
She still wanted answers, but so far Tom had given her nothing, only showing her pictures of boats and trying to get her to go away with him. She stopped and looked up at Red. "I am an idiot, I can't believe I almost fell for it again."
Red wasn't sure if she was referring to himself or Tom. "Lizzie, you are many things but an idiot is not one of them." He rubbed his palm on her back to calm her.
She could see the question in his eyes and hugged him tightly for a moment to ease his mind. "Tom keeps telling me he wants to buy a boat and take me away. Just now it reminded me of when he was trying to get me to go away with him before everything went down. He needs me out of the way or at least away from you. What do you think that is all about?"
Red rested his cheek against Lizzie's. Inhaling her scent while he thought about what she just said. "If he can separate you from me, then I can not effectively protect you. There may be more there then we thought. Let me call Dembe he needs to bring me and overnight bag and I will get him to have someone wire Tom's...place and tap his phone, we have him under surveillance, but it may not be enough to just watch." He pulled away from her and dialed Dembe. Talking to him quietly before hanging up and turning back to her.
She was nervous, they were headed down and dangerous path, but she was also a little excited. She took off her robe to reveal her red short boy pants and tank top. Loving the way his eyes lit up at the site. She walked over to him and put her arms around him again and whispered in his ear. "So, if we are going to get started you need to shed some clothes."
He didn't need to be asked twice. He let her untie his tie while he slipped off his jacket and slung it over on to the chair hoping it hit as he never took his eyes off Lizzie. No matter what happened after tonight, she was his and that was what mattered most to him.
fin