Right… I've noticed a certain pattern with my fics— well, they all end in death. Huh. Who woulda thunk it? This is actually a much older one of mine, that I wrote a while ago in a notebook, but never typed it out until now. I was re-reading it, and I dunno, I guess I just suddenly had a very powerful urge to write a short depressing one shot. There's implied AllenxLena and LavixLena. So here this is; I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: … Sigh. Do I really have to say it? Fine. I don't own DGM. Happy now?

"Why?"

The funeral procession is over. Lavi's walking Lenalee slowly back to her room, slowly, carefully, because she's so ridiculously fragile, so breakable, right now.

"Why what?"

He doesn't really need to ask. He knows what she means, but he asks anyway. Maybe it's denial?

"Why did he have to go?"

She can't say die, dead. He doesn't blame her. He probably can't say it either.

"Because God has a sick sense of humor."

The war is over. The Earl is gone, the Order's won. It doesn't feel like it.

He sets her down on the bed gently, because she'll shatter if he does it too hard. He sits carefully next to her, there if she needs him, knowing it's not him she needs. She needs someone who's already gone.

He shouldn't ask her if she's okay. He knows the answer to that one, too. He does anyway.

"Are you alright, Lenalee?"

Damn. Dammit, dammit. He wants to take it back, because she looks like she's about to break again. She's smiling this weird little smile, so fake and broken and hurt. He can't take it. He has to look away.

"No… no, I'm not," She laughs a little at herself, before she starts to cry. He really, really wishes he hadn't asked. He wants to kick himself.

"Did he not like us? Is that why he did that? Could he just not stand us anymore?" Her small shoulders are shaking so bad, he wonders how she's holding together at all. He puts an arm around her, trying to comfort her.

"Nah, that's not it. He was always a martyr, right till the end. That's just who he was. He probably did what he did because he cared, not the other way around. Cared about you the most," He whispers it, trying to be confident.

But he still can't look at her.

"Then why did he go?" She turns in to him, burying her face in his chest, crying, and he puts his other arm around her, rocking gently back and forth. She's crying so hard.

"All I wanted… was for everyone to come home. Was that too much? Did God take him away to punish me? For asking something like that? Was that too much to ask?" He closes his eyes and keeps rocking, gently and softly, slowly rubbing her arm.

"I know, Lena. I know."

But he doesn't. He doesn't know the answers to her questions, although he wishes he did. But he'll stay here and tell her he knows anyway and soothe and calm her, because he'll always be there for her. Always. No matter what happens, or what Bookman says, he'll always be there to make her smile, to make her laugh. When she needs someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on, he would be there. But not how her brother would be there, and not how Kanda would be there. He'll be there for anything; as a friend she could turn to, as someone she could yell at and hate when it all got too much and she needed someone to be angry at. And then as someone who'd forgive her for it immediately and hold her tight.

He'd be there for anything, everything, whenever she needs him. And she knows she'll need him, but never for the one thing he wants so bad to be needed for. And she hates herself for it, because she wants to ask him to be that thing, as a thank-you for being there, but that's the one thing she can't ask. He'll always wait for it, but she never will. And he knows it, and she knows it, and they both know he'll be there for her anyway. Because he cares for her, so deeply.

But they know only one person could be that person; someone with snow white hair, and deep gentle gray eyes, and soft warm hands, and a sweet, hopeful smile. But it's too late. He's already gone.

Well. That hurt to write. Now I'm off to post my first few multi-chapter fics. There will be more than one, and I'd like to ask you to read them and review them. After you review this one of course. Seriously, The other two are going to be posted like ten minutes after this one. So… yeah. Please do that. Thank you so much for reading, and (hopefully) reviewing!!

~There was a silence