This idea just came to me... enjoy. NO FLAMES!

-One-

I grabbed the prune juice off the store shelve. It smelled like old people.

Why was I getting prune juice? I'll tell you why. Because the entire crew turned to old, senile Pirates. Luffy's got no clue that he's even old, Zoro is the bitter old guy who spits at kids, Nami'll beat you to a pulp with her giant tangerine orange bag and cane, Usopp's the one who has all the hard candy in brightly coloured wrappers, I have no idea where he got it all, and Sanji's denying the entire thing.

I think I should start with the whole thing. It's gonna be one heck of a story.

----

I was walking down the road on one of the islands. I had just bought a bunch of stuff like jewelry and stuff like that.

I walked up the gangplank onto the ship where I saw nobody. Odd enough, Zoro's usually sleeping on deck.

"Hello? Anybody here?" I called out.

I heard no answer.

"HELLO!?" I yelled.

"Wha?"

"Who's there?" I heard. It sounded frail and bitter.

I went into the kitchen and dropped my stuff in shock. I stared at what I hoped to be the crew.

"Is that Ia-chan?" a bald old guy said from near the stove. He was... fat. Old guy fat. It was a sad sight.

Over on the couch was an old guy with a missing leg and a missing eye that wasn't covered with an eyepatch. His hair was grey except for a few patches of frayed green. He was asleep.

Sitting at the table, was an oranged haired old lady who was sagging in places women do not want to sag. She was also a heavy set person.

Sitting on the floor as if they fell there and can't get up were two black haired old guys. One with a cane and another with a ripped and beat up old straw hat.

"Oh my God." I said.

"WHAT!?" they all yelled except for the sleeping one.

"WHO ARE YOU!?" I screamed, backing up to the wall.

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy, Ia?"

"How do you know my name?" I hissed.

"WHAT!?" he yelled.

"What's a matter, Ia?" the old bag at the table asked.

"Why are there old people on the Going Merry?" I asked loudly.

"What do you mean?" Baldy asked.

"Where are the old people, they sound like fun!" straw hat said.

Then I finally realized it. "You've all been turned senile!" I said.

"We have not." Nami said.

I pulled out a small mirror I had bought and gave it to Nami who then let out a shrike so loud it could have shattered glass. The mirror did crack a bit.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!?" she screamed as I gave the mirror to Luffy who stared at it in confusion.

"You're... 78?" I said, figuring her age was increased by 60 years.

"So I'm 79?" Sanji yelled as Usopp passed him the mirror. I braced for impact.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HAIR!?"

"The beauty of age." I said to myself as Sanji nearly cried over being able to see both eyes.

I looked around and realized that Zoro hadn't woken up. Did he die?

"Zoro? Zoro. ZORO!" I yelled and he jerked slightly.

"You don't have to..." he said and stopped when he realized he only had one eye, and leg.

"What did you do to me while I slept. This is taking it WAY to far!" he yelled at me.

"I didn't do that. You're also 79!"

"I wasn't asleep for that long!" he said.

"Everybody else is old as well. Look at them!"

Zoro looked around with his one eye and said, "You really let yourself go Sanji. You too, Nami." Zoro said bluntly.

Nami was about to leap up and beat the crap out of Zoro. But when she got up, everybody heard a huge crack.

"OHHHHHHHH! MY HIP!"

I stared in disbelief, and tried not to laugh.

"Good God. You guys are old!"

"I'm 17?" Luffy said, getting up. Lucky for him he was rubber so he couldn't really hurt his hip, or knee, or back, or lumbago.

"No. You're old and baggy and wrinkly." I said, kinda getting grossed out as Usopp got up next to Luffy. Usopp started rubbing his lower back.

Sanji got up slowly and walked over to me.

"Am I fat?" he asked me.

I pondered this over. Should I lie to him and say no, of course not. Nah. He deserves the truth.

"You kinda let yourself go..." I said slowly and loudly.

Zoro started snickering. "Even your girlfriend says your fat!"

"I'm not his girlfriend!" I protested but Zoro fell asleep again.

I went over and was about to kick him but realized that I couldn't because he was 79.

----

"You guys have to go to bed now." I said once I realized it was sundown. My grandparents went to bed at sundown usually.

"It's seven!" Nami yelled, banging the table with her nasty old lady bag that had only God knows what in it. It was heavy. She had already hit me with it earlier.

"Too bad. You guys need rest. Like Zoro!" I said, pointing to the sleeping one.

"Fine." Sanji said and got up and walked down to the guy's room. Followed by Luffy and Usopp and Nami. Zoro I just left there.

"I can't get on." the guys said as I got into their room. The hammock was too high.

"You have got to be kidding me." I said.

"Help us in!" Usopp pleaded.

I rolled my eyes and lifted them all into their hammocks.

Luffy roled around and instantly fell asleep.

"I'm cold." Sanji said and pointed to a spare blanket.

"Alright." I said and levitated him the blanket. Not wanting to really set foot in their bedroom.

"Could you tuck me in?"

"You're not nine months! You're 79 years!" I yelled.

He looked depressed.

I exhaled angrily and walked over and put the blanket around him.

"Thank you." he said and fell asleep.

I shook my head and went into the room I shared with Nami and went to bed.

I hoped you liked it. Skie and I were walking home and were talking about what the crew would look like if they were old. Originally, Zoro was suppose to be limbless. Oh well. Chey'd still love him.

Review... please... now... please? NO FLAMES!!! 6-6-07