So0 I was liek standing there on the ramp (A/N: I dont noee wadd dat is, butt my fren MuffinsRoxSox toldd me 2 rite dat in) wid hs amzing bronze hair stod blowig in te brite sun, whih jut made me luv him sooo much mre! I mean I cud lyke literally explode!!!11!! So he was liek, "come here love" and I ran to hm and, liek, OmG, leik, i culd leik t0taly seee hs h0t abs. And then he come and hugg me and all de other gurls of Forcs were liek, 'why does SHE get edwad' and i was sneering at them and all dat becoz cum on, who would want me rite?!?!?!?! i mean, i was liek, so pretty and the rest of them were all whadeva and the pretty ones either had noo brains or weree nerds and who would want to fuck a nerd rite?

Sooo anyway i was in de middlee of staring intoo edwad's eyes when suddenly emet appears and starts screaming like a cRazy babon and wen edwad asks wats wrong emet was liek screamingg, 'OMC THE CRAZY GIRL IS AFTER MEEEE!!!!1!!!!!!' and then he runs away and sudenly vanishes into the wo0ds and i was liek sooooo pissed off becoz emet had interupted minee and edward's time togeda 4eva. Then i looked upp to kiss edwad and he looked downn at me with his cro0ked sm1le and sparkling eyez when sudenly this crazy gurl wearing leather and pvc appears...

"HAHAHAHA I AM LIVESINDREAMS BUT YOU CAN CALL ME LA!" she screams and den she comes skattinngg towardss us on a wicked (A/N: HAHAHA, I learnted that wordd from Harry Poter!) skateboarrd andd she wuz liek holding a flamethroweerr and shee wuz screamingg while skating towardz us.

TO BE CONTINUED.
(hahaha, not really. Fooled you didn't i?!?!)

Then edwad was liek coming around mee and holding me tightly when sudenly another girl came outt. This one had blackk hair with wat edwad called 'raspberry' highlights and it was liek SO COOL and she was holdingg a water gun while shootingg at LivesInDreams. "HAHA! My filtty minionn shall bee extiginshed! HAHAHA!' and den paranoiaSPLASH wuz liek getting int0 a fight wit LivesInDreams and then they weree liek WHOO THEY FINALLY LEFT.

So then edwad smiled at mee and he was liek picking me up and throwing mee over hs shoulderr and den we got onboard a planee and the captain was liek, 'where too sir?'. Then edwad was liek 'lake michigan pls' and the captain smiled and nodd.

mermaids have shinyy blood. (A/N: HAHA, betcha didnt noee dat rite?!?!)

theeenn the captain screamed and thee planee crashedd andd then wee all died whilee edwad started to dry hump my leg so wE bothh diedd in ecstasyy.

A/N: REVIEWWWWWW!!!!1!!!!111

REAL A/N: Credits go to Zee (IChimpz) for the brilliant summary, and Mel (MuffinsAndRandomness) and LA (LivesInDreams) for helping me with the, ah, crap. This is my big fuck you to fanfiction before I leave. For more details, visit my profile.