Hey, so this is a Harry Potter and Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D/Avengers crossover... what the fuck is with my head? Good fuck.

So, this is basically about what would happen if a high-level Agent for S.H.E.I.L.D died and the was reborn as Harry Potter... once again, what is wrong with my head? If you want me continue tell me and I might make a proper story out of this, I might not though, it depends. If you want to take the idea and see where it might take you then ask. It'll stay as a one-shot for now though. The character is whoever you want to think of them. male/female/non-binary/straight/bi/gay/whatever you want to imagine them as. I mean it.

(Personally, I think of them a female who is gay, but still.) If you guys want me to continue this then you can choose what they are - unless it's a straight female, as they seem to think that Lily is hot and not James, sorry - and get to basically choose what happens throughout the story.

I don't own Harry Potter or Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D/Avengers, I really don't know where this fits so it's in both.

When I died I didn't expect to see the face of a woman - a very beautiful woman - that I did not recognized. I did not expect the red-head to coo at me like I some kind of baby either. It took me a few seconds to realize that she was holding me off the fucking ground and start to try get away. Of course, it didn't work, I was still wrapped up in what seemed to be a blanket. So, instead, I decided to glare at her with the hope that she would come her senses and let me go.

I wasn't really freaked out right then as, unfortunately, getting kidnapped was kinda part of the job.

Of course, that meant I was surprised when the woman squealed out, "James! Harry is making the cutest face! Bring the camera!"

Then she turned around and I noticed a mirror, or to be more clear, what was in the mirror. The woman with the brightest red hair and the greenest eyes I've ever seen - that wasn't fake - was standing there holding a small child in her arms.

She was holding me in her arms.

It was then that I realized that this wasn't a normal kidnapping, that I really died, and I flipped the fuck out.

I struggled and screamed out curses, I twisted and threatened bodily harm, and the red-head almost dropped me in surprise. All that came out my mouth was gurgling and cries, but I kept on trying to get away. At least until my new body decided to pass out.

The last thought I had was, "I guess the red-head is taken, huh?"

It was embarrassing, really, how I reacted. Here I was 'one of the best of the best' and I go faint because I was reborn. What would the Director think, what would he say? Actually, I know what he would say, he would bellow, "What are you doing?! I didn't pull you from prison so you could embarrass me! Now get off your ass and get to work!"

Fucking asshole.

Sometimes I hate that guy.

Others, I love him.

We have a love-hate relationship, it's complicated. He's still an asshole, though.

A month later I was still a baby, I was still breast-fed, I was still called 'Harry' (I would need change that as soon as I could, the jokes I'll have to endure for years might make me spill blood sooner than I wanted to), and I was still pissed.

The red-head with the rocking body was called Lily and her husband was James. Lily had red hair that reached her shoulders, bright green eyes, and a very nice figure. James had short, jet black hair, hazel brown eyes, and was rather fit. I couldn't tell if his build was a swimmer's or an runner's, but it was somewhere in between.

From what I could tell I had black hair and green eyes. The hair, obviously, came from James and the eyes, also obviously, came from Lily.

I had to admit that I was adorable, for a baby.

I mean, I was always attractive before, I had to be for a lot of jobs. But this little bitty face that was in the mirror? Oh, I knew that I would grow to be one sexy man. Was that narcissistic? Hmm, a little bit. Did I care?

Nope.

Now, everyone knows about the Harry Potter books (and movies) so it didn't take too long for me to realize where I was. Didn't mean I accepted it, though. Oh hell no. I didn't want to watch as some nose-less dumb-ass killed these people, I didn't want to be sent to a abusive house where I wouldn't be considered human for about eleven years of my life, and then be famous for the rest. I didn't want to go through the shit Harry Potter did, I mean, I would. But that didn't mean I'd do it the same way he did or the way dear old Dumb-dumb wanted me too.

Slowly a smile pulled at my lips and I clapped my hands and laughed.

There wasn't anything I could do for the first thing; dear old Lily and James would die, sadly. But the rest? Heh, I wouldn't want to be the Durslys when I do get shipped there. Is that their names? It started with a D, I'm sure. Oh who cares, it doesn't matter right now anyways.

Was I really going to let a family be killed? Yes I was. Did I care? Yes, shockingly, I did. I'm not heartless, no matter what Director Fury says.

Or teases, it's hard to tell with that guy.

I briefly entertained the thought of 'going to the dark side' before knocking it out of the ballpark. If Fury found out he'd fucking shoot me. I tried being bad anyways, turns out I'm better being good than bad, I kept getting in jail.

I wasn't going to let some old man control me, though. Fury would shoot me for that as well. No, no, no. I now had the most basic plans, but I had one.

And, come one. I use to be a high-level Agent for S.H.E.I.L.D for fucks suck, if I couldn't get some small family put in for abuse and disappear then I'd a shame to Eye-patch man. Now, what about my name? I'm not going to stay as Harry Potter, so... hmm, maybe my old name? Yeah, that could work. Some hacking, a little bit this and a little bit of that and I'd be good there.

I laughed again.

This might just be funner than I thought.

I could start up my own S.H.E.I.L.D here. Name it after Fury or something equally ridiculous. The starting up S.H.E.I.L.D thing isn't that bad, honestly. But that'll have to happen later.

Right now I just had to wait for V-something to kill these people and then start to set my plan into action. Until then I'll be learning all I could about Magic from these two and what I can about the outside world.

All I had to do was wait now.