A note to the reader: This is a parody based on teenage horror films w/ my own origional characters inserted into them
Disclaimers: I do not own the rights to Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Urban Legend, or Scary Movie- this story is merely a work of parody
I do not own the rights to the song "Dead Bodies Everwhere" by KoRn which is quoted in the story below. I merely used a line from the story in quotation of the song to give J. Davis credit for good lyrics which fit to part of my story.
Breaking the Rules by Raven A. O'Ryan
Page Bookman was watching her favorite movie, Scream, when she saw the beams of siren lights flash through the room. When they continued to flash she knew they had stopped at her house and she went to her window that overlooked the front porch and driveway. A patrol car sat there and her father was outside talking to a police man. She watched her father walk back toward the porch and open the door. Then she heard him holler: "PAGE! GET DOWN HERE NOW!"
Heart leaping up into her throat she slowly got to her feet and went downstairs. Once outside she was even more confused and alarmed to see that she recognized the young officer. "Tom? What is it?"
Officer Tom Sheridan, walked toward her, his biceps rippling through his thin blue police uniform; his gorgeous mouth set in a firm, somber line. "Page Bookman, under Code 5, section 115, you have been violated w/ the usage and possession of illegal narcotics on public school grounds. You are herby under arrest."
"What?!" Page cried incredulously. "That's insane!"
"You have the right to remain silent," Officer Sheridan continued, bringing out a pair of handcuffs and securing her hands in front of her.
"Tom! I never-"
"Everything you say can and will be held against you in a juvenile court of law."
"TOM! I've never in my entire life even TOUCHED any-"
"You have the right to an attorney," Officer Sheridan interrupted, taking her arm and leading her to the rear door of his patrol car. "If you cannot afford an attorney one will be provided for you."
The door was closed on her and before she knew it, Page was zipping down the road, locked in the back of the car like a caged animal. "Tom!" she cried for the kzillioneth time, "this is crazy! I've never done drugs in my life! How- how can you even ACCUSE me of this let alone ARREST me???"
Officer Sheridan kept his face forward, eyes focused on the road. "You're in some serious trouble Miss Bookman. If I were you I'd settle down and enjoy the ride rather than acting out."
"Enjoy the ride?! This is bullshit!"
Officer Sheridan tried not to laugh. "You'd better watch your mouth little lady, when you get into that courtroom in a few weeks you'll be held in contempt w/ a mouth like that."
"A few weeks! How long are they going to keep me in jail?" Page demanded, leaning up against the grated wire that separated her from the front seat.
"You can't go to jail 'till you're eighteen but if I have my way I'll make sure they keep you in juvy 'till you can be transferred so I can visit your pretty face more often," Officer Sheridan chortled.
Page raised her cuffed fists up and hit the grate. "You bastard! That's not funny! How can you make light of all this? I thought you cared about me."
Officer Sheridan just smiled at her in the rearview mirror.
Page slammed her back against the seat and sulked angrily.
Officer Sheridan pulled off the main road and proceeded down a desolate dirt road that was lined w/ large overhanging evergreen trees.
Page looked out of her window mournfully. "Is THIS where the juvenile hall is?"
Officer Sheridan laughed out loud. "Sure, this can be your prison."
Page was too upset to be confused anymore. "Listen you little prick, if you don't clear my name from this stupid, fucked up crime that I didn't even commit then you're going to be-"
"We're here!" Officer Sheridan interrupted, pulling the patrol car to a halt and turning off the siren lights.
Page looked around. They were in the middle of the woods now, in a remote clearing. "What the hell? Is this some kind of joke-"
Officer Sheridan got out of the car and proceeded to unlock her door.
"Look if you don't tell me what the hell is going on he-"
Officer Sheridan cut her off w/ a swift, hard kiss on the mouth.
Page's eyebrows shot up in absolute confusion now as he sat back on his haunches and grinned at her.
"Gotcha!" he crowed.
Page didn't know whether to laugh in relief or scream at him. "You little asshole!"
Officer Sheridan laughed as he helped her out of the car and to her feet. "That was the best, Pagey, I can't believe you bought the whole thing!"
Page scowled. "Well, it's kinda hard to NOT believe someone when they cuff you and throw you in the back of a cop car."
He smiled at her and brushed her long, coppery hair out of her face. "You're so pretty when you're mad, Page."
"You're still a prick, Tom."
Tom chuckled. "Aw, c'mon, baby, I thought you'd get a kick out of it. Think of it as being a way for us to go out together when I'm on duty."
Page rolled her eyes. "How romantic."
Tom grinned and gave her another quick peck on the mouth. "See? I knew you'd approve."
Page let out a big sigh. "Yeah, well now what?"
"Hmm, well, what do you think cops do when they drag innocent little girls out into the middle of nowhere?"
"I don't think cops do that to nice little innocent girls- you're a legend in your own sickly twisted way."
Tom just laughed again. "Thank you, thank you."
"So..." Page drawled looking around at the semidarkness of the trees on all sides of them. "Are you going to take the handcuffs off?"
Tom cupped her chin in his hand and pressed her back against the patrol car w/ the rest of his body. "I dunno... handcuffs could be kind of kinky..."
Page frowned. "Oh, yay, not only do I have the interesting twist of dating a cop but now I'll have the rep of being w/ the one and only sadistic sex-crazed one."
He kissed her lips, her cheek, her neck. "Doesn't that do your reputation good though? You should feel lucky I'm so easy on you."
"Easy on me? What do you mean?"
"Well... say sometime I catch you doing ninety in a thirty-mile zone. I'd let you off since I know you'd reward me w/ a kiss or something..."
Page pushed him away w/ the backs of her hands. "Tom Sheridan," she mocked, her first smile since her arrest breaking free. "Are you trying to use your powers of legal authority to bribe me?"
Tom closed the small distance between them a second time. "No... just pointing out that since I have boyfriendal favoritism towards you I'd get around things for you."
"Gee thanks," she scoffed as he began to kiss her shoulder. "Remind me to ask for you when they catch me selling crack to the cheerleaders in the girls' room."
Tom looked up at her and smirked devilishly. "That's it, now you're gonna get it."
He opened the driver side door and shoved her inside, following after her giggling protests.
Approximately forty-five minutes later, Page looked up at Tom and kissed him gently. The windows of the patrol car were steamy but from the lack of light around them, she could tell it was getting late. "Maybe we should go now?"
Tom looked back down at her and smiled. "After that? I'm going to have to rest first." He lay back down on top of her and nuzzled her neck w/ his nose. "You know, I think I saw this in a movie once."
"Yeah, Tom, it was called Titanic only Leonardo DiCaprio didn't have to use handcuffs on Kate Winslett."
Tom tickled her naked side and she shrieked.
"Yeah well, Leo ended up drowning, baby. That won't happen to-"
"Shh!" Page cut him off.
Tom looked at her. "What?"
"Did you hear that?"
Tom touched her cheek. "Oh, c'mon... Titanic wasn't an urban legend- the worst that could've happened to them is getting caught by some rich snob looking around and-"
"Tom, I'm serious, I heard a noise out there."
Tom groaned. "Aw, Page, you kill me."
"Can we leave?"
"Why?"
There was a squeak on the back windshield.
"What the hell?" Tom said, sitting up.
His knees ground into Page's thighs but she was far to frightened now to car. She drew herself out from under him and then looked over his shoulder. "What is it?" she whispered.
"I dunno, I can't see," he replied. He reached past her and into the glove compartment to take out his flashlight. Shining it toward the back they both peered through the grating.
Page jumped back and gasped as she read the words that were streaked onto the windshield:
NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY!
"Dumb fuck!" Tom cursed, pulling his uniform pants on.
"What are you doing?" Page hissed.
"I'm gonna go beat the living daylights outta whoever the sick ass who wrote that is."
"What? No!" Page objected, her heart pounding.
But Tom had his shoes on now and was working on putting his shirt on. He pulled a blanket w/ the Cedar Hill Police logo out from under the seat and threw it at her. "Just stay in here and wait for me, k?"
"To-om!" Page said. "Remember that little talk we had about doing stupid things way back when? Well, this is stupid. Let's just get out of here."
"Hell no, Page!" Tom replied, opening the door. "This dumb fuck can get my ass locked up! I'm not going to let that happen."
"Tom, please!"
"I'll be right back," Tom told her and shut the door.
She listened to his feet crunch over the leaves on the ground outside and shivered, trying to wrap the blanket around herself but not having much luck, due to the handcuff that still held her wrists together.
Tapping on the back side of the car. "Shit!" Page whispered and fumbled around for her jeans. She struggled to get them on and then pulled the shirt on that Tom had pulled above her head and down onto her arms earlier. Soon she might have to run or someone would be breaking into the car. She'd seen too many teen horror flicks to be stupid enough to sit around naked and waiting.
The tapping continued on around to her side of the car and then the squeaking noise of someone wiping at the window.
Page scooted herself away from the noise as fast as she could and opened the door. Slowly, so she wouldn't fall down she turned her feet out and then stood up. She jogged out into the darkness and away from the patrol car. "Tom?" she called out. "Tom!"
She heard footsteps behind her. "Tom, is that you?"
No answer. The footsteps drew closer.
"No!" she cried quietly. She began to jog a little faster, struggling to keep her balance w/out the use of her arms and hands. She tripped over something and fell on top of it.
As if on cue, the moon appeared from behind the a shade of clouds and revealed the person underneath her. He was covered in blood and his neck and face were slashed. He wasn't moving.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Page screamed and threw herself on her back to get away from the body "AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Disclaimers: I do not own the rights to Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Urban Legend, or Scary Movie- this story is merely a work of parody
I do not own the rights to the song "Dead Bodies Everwhere" by KoRn which is quoted in the story below. I merely used a line from the story in quotation of the song to give J. Davis credit for good lyrics which fit to part of my story.
Breaking the Rules by Raven A. O'Ryan
Page Bookman was watching her favorite movie, Scream, when she saw the beams of siren lights flash through the room. When they continued to flash she knew they had stopped at her house and she went to her window that overlooked the front porch and driveway. A patrol car sat there and her father was outside talking to a police man. She watched her father walk back toward the porch and open the door. Then she heard him holler: "PAGE! GET DOWN HERE NOW!"
Heart leaping up into her throat she slowly got to her feet and went downstairs. Once outside she was even more confused and alarmed to see that she recognized the young officer. "Tom? What is it?"
Officer Tom Sheridan, walked toward her, his biceps rippling through his thin blue police uniform; his gorgeous mouth set in a firm, somber line. "Page Bookman, under Code 5, section 115, you have been violated w/ the usage and possession of illegal narcotics on public school grounds. You are herby under arrest."
"What?!" Page cried incredulously. "That's insane!"
"You have the right to remain silent," Officer Sheridan continued, bringing out a pair of handcuffs and securing her hands in front of her.
"Tom! I never-"
"Everything you say can and will be held against you in a juvenile court of law."
"TOM! I've never in my entire life even TOUCHED any-"
"You have the right to an attorney," Officer Sheridan interrupted, taking her arm and leading her to the rear door of his patrol car. "If you cannot afford an attorney one will be provided for you."
The door was closed on her and before she knew it, Page was zipping down the road, locked in the back of the car like a caged animal. "Tom!" she cried for the kzillioneth time, "this is crazy! I've never done drugs in my life! How- how can you even ACCUSE me of this let alone ARREST me???"
Officer Sheridan kept his face forward, eyes focused on the road. "You're in some serious trouble Miss Bookman. If I were you I'd settle down and enjoy the ride rather than acting out."
"Enjoy the ride?! This is bullshit!"
Officer Sheridan tried not to laugh. "You'd better watch your mouth little lady, when you get into that courtroom in a few weeks you'll be held in contempt w/ a mouth like that."
"A few weeks! How long are they going to keep me in jail?" Page demanded, leaning up against the grated wire that separated her from the front seat.
"You can't go to jail 'till you're eighteen but if I have my way I'll make sure they keep you in juvy 'till you can be transferred so I can visit your pretty face more often," Officer Sheridan chortled.
Page raised her cuffed fists up and hit the grate. "You bastard! That's not funny! How can you make light of all this? I thought you cared about me."
Officer Sheridan just smiled at her in the rearview mirror.
Page slammed her back against the seat and sulked angrily.
Officer Sheridan pulled off the main road and proceeded down a desolate dirt road that was lined w/ large overhanging evergreen trees.
Page looked out of her window mournfully. "Is THIS where the juvenile hall is?"
Officer Sheridan laughed out loud. "Sure, this can be your prison."
Page was too upset to be confused anymore. "Listen you little prick, if you don't clear my name from this stupid, fucked up crime that I didn't even commit then you're going to be-"
"We're here!" Officer Sheridan interrupted, pulling the patrol car to a halt and turning off the siren lights.
Page looked around. They were in the middle of the woods now, in a remote clearing. "What the hell? Is this some kind of joke-"
Officer Sheridan got out of the car and proceeded to unlock her door.
"Look if you don't tell me what the hell is going on he-"
Officer Sheridan cut her off w/ a swift, hard kiss on the mouth.
Page's eyebrows shot up in absolute confusion now as he sat back on his haunches and grinned at her.
"Gotcha!" he crowed.
Page didn't know whether to laugh in relief or scream at him. "You little asshole!"
Officer Sheridan laughed as he helped her out of the car and to her feet. "That was the best, Pagey, I can't believe you bought the whole thing!"
Page scowled. "Well, it's kinda hard to NOT believe someone when they cuff you and throw you in the back of a cop car."
He smiled at her and brushed her long, coppery hair out of her face. "You're so pretty when you're mad, Page."
"You're still a prick, Tom."
Tom chuckled. "Aw, c'mon, baby, I thought you'd get a kick out of it. Think of it as being a way for us to go out together when I'm on duty."
Page rolled her eyes. "How romantic."
Tom grinned and gave her another quick peck on the mouth. "See? I knew you'd approve."
Page let out a big sigh. "Yeah, well now what?"
"Hmm, well, what do you think cops do when they drag innocent little girls out into the middle of nowhere?"
"I don't think cops do that to nice little innocent girls- you're a legend in your own sickly twisted way."
Tom just laughed again. "Thank you, thank you."
"So..." Page drawled looking around at the semidarkness of the trees on all sides of them. "Are you going to take the handcuffs off?"
Tom cupped her chin in his hand and pressed her back against the patrol car w/ the rest of his body. "I dunno... handcuffs could be kind of kinky..."
Page frowned. "Oh, yay, not only do I have the interesting twist of dating a cop but now I'll have the rep of being w/ the one and only sadistic sex-crazed one."
He kissed her lips, her cheek, her neck. "Doesn't that do your reputation good though? You should feel lucky I'm so easy on you."
"Easy on me? What do you mean?"
"Well... say sometime I catch you doing ninety in a thirty-mile zone. I'd let you off since I know you'd reward me w/ a kiss or something..."
Page pushed him away w/ the backs of her hands. "Tom Sheridan," she mocked, her first smile since her arrest breaking free. "Are you trying to use your powers of legal authority to bribe me?"
Tom closed the small distance between them a second time. "No... just pointing out that since I have boyfriendal favoritism towards you I'd get around things for you."
"Gee thanks," she scoffed as he began to kiss her shoulder. "Remind me to ask for you when they catch me selling crack to the cheerleaders in the girls' room."
Tom looked up at her and smirked devilishly. "That's it, now you're gonna get it."
He opened the driver side door and shoved her inside, following after her giggling protests.
Approximately forty-five minutes later, Page looked up at Tom and kissed him gently. The windows of the patrol car were steamy but from the lack of light around them, she could tell it was getting late. "Maybe we should go now?"
Tom looked back down at her and smiled. "After that? I'm going to have to rest first." He lay back down on top of her and nuzzled her neck w/ his nose. "You know, I think I saw this in a movie once."
"Yeah, Tom, it was called Titanic only Leonardo DiCaprio didn't have to use handcuffs on Kate Winslett."
Tom tickled her naked side and she shrieked.
"Yeah well, Leo ended up drowning, baby. That won't happen to-"
"Shh!" Page cut him off.
Tom looked at her. "What?"
"Did you hear that?"
Tom touched her cheek. "Oh, c'mon... Titanic wasn't an urban legend- the worst that could've happened to them is getting caught by some rich snob looking around and-"
"Tom, I'm serious, I heard a noise out there."
Tom groaned. "Aw, Page, you kill me."
"Can we leave?"
"Why?"
There was a squeak on the back windshield.
"What the hell?" Tom said, sitting up.
His knees ground into Page's thighs but she was far to frightened now to car. She drew herself out from under him and then looked over his shoulder. "What is it?" she whispered.
"I dunno, I can't see," he replied. He reached past her and into the glove compartment to take out his flashlight. Shining it toward the back they both peered through the grating.
Page jumped back and gasped as she read the words that were streaked onto the windshield:
NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY!
"Dumb fuck!" Tom cursed, pulling his uniform pants on.
"What are you doing?" Page hissed.
"I'm gonna go beat the living daylights outta whoever the sick ass who wrote that is."
"What? No!" Page objected, her heart pounding.
But Tom had his shoes on now and was working on putting his shirt on. He pulled a blanket w/ the Cedar Hill Police logo out from under the seat and threw it at her. "Just stay in here and wait for me, k?"
"To-om!" Page said. "Remember that little talk we had about doing stupid things way back when? Well, this is stupid. Let's just get out of here."
"Hell no, Page!" Tom replied, opening the door. "This dumb fuck can get my ass locked up! I'm not going to let that happen."
"Tom, please!"
"I'll be right back," Tom told her and shut the door.
She listened to his feet crunch over the leaves on the ground outside and shivered, trying to wrap the blanket around herself but not having much luck, due to the handcuff that still held her wrists together.
Tapping on the back side of the car. "Shit!" Page whispered and fumbled around for her jeans. She struggled to get them on and then pulled the shirt on that Tom had pulled above her head and down onto her arms earlier. Soon she might have to run or someone would be breaking into the car. She'd seen too many teen horror flicks to be stupid enough to sit around naked and waiting.
The tapping continued on around to her side of the car and then the squeaking noise of someone wiping at the window.
Page scooted herself away from the noise as fast as she could and opened the door. Slowly, so she wouldn't fall down she turned her feet out and then stood up. She jogged out into the darkness and away from the patrol car. "Tom?" she called out. "Tom!"
She heard footsteps behind her. "Tom, is that you?"
No answer. The footsteps drew closer.
"No!" she cried quietly. She began to jog a little faster, struggling to keep her balance w/out the use of her arms and hands. She tripped over something and fell on top of it.
As if on cue, the moon appeared from behind the a shade of clouds and revealed the person underneath her. He was covered in blood and his neck and face were slashed. He wasn't moving.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Page screamed and threw herself on her back to get away from the body "AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"