This fic completely crack. I was just thinking about crack couples and decided I should write a fanfic filled to the brim with crack pairings. Its told from the perspective of my favorite OC who appears in all my fanfics, Author. Author is based of me in my most insane mood mixed with me in my psychopath mood. In this one she isn't acting as she usually is, I'll try to change that in future chapters. I'll try to throw Narrator in there too, my next favorite OC of mine. Sorry this is short.

Disclaimer: Purple armadillos sail gracefully over a fiddling flashlight. They soon begin to sing Yankee Doodle. I love cupcakes and fairy tail unfortunately I don't own either. Neither do I own Yankee Doodle. Or Adolf Hitler. Do I own anything in this world? O.O maybe the plot...

Narrator: what plot?

Author: the one disappearing into rainbow dashes and your grandmothers grammar

Me: Author I love you, but sometimes I seriously worry about you

Author: you made me

Me: good point

Karaoke player: 89724princess-Lauren, why did you let Author take over this fic

Me: I figured i'd be better then having her fight the characters for controll of it

Karaoke player: my name isn't even karaoke player. Its lu- *Author clamps hand over karaoke players mouth*

Alarm clock: yeah im with lu-

*Author shoots Alarm Clock death glare*

Alarm clock: I mean karaoke player. *awkward laugh* not Lucy. I mean, thats ridiculous. Why would she be named Lucy?

Me: why do I exist?

Narrator: because your parents did the deed

Me: ...

Author (sing sing voice): 16.5

Karaoke player: *facepalm* Lauren I think its better if you keep Narrator out of this too

So far, it had been a fairly typical day for our curvy blonde female protagonist in this fic. I wont tell her name because I'm PMSing right now and want to make you, dear loving readers, mad. However, it would get tedious calling her curvy blonde protagonist so I shall call her Karaoke Player.

Anyways, Karaoke Player had woken up on the couch with a kink in her neck due to the fact a certain male pink-haired dragon slayer, and the only male pink-haired dragon slayer who could make pink hair look bad ass, was snoring contently in her bed. She then got up and made breakfast for herself. The male, bad ass pink-haired dragon slayer woke up.

I, Author, will not mention the male, bad ass, pink-haired dragon slayers name for reasons listed above. In case you, dear loving lazy readers don't feel like going up to find those reasons listed because you can't remember them, I will sum it up by saying I don't feel like it.

Unfortunately, as mentioned before, it would get tedious calling the certain someone male, bad ass, pink-haired dragon slayer, I shall rename him Alarm Clock.

Once Alarm Clock had shaken off my dear friend Sleep, he made his way over to Karaoke Player. She was making pancakes.

Alarm Clock came up behind Karaoke Player and wrapped his strong, tan arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck with his face.

Now, dear readers, I refuse to give you any sense of joy or satisfaction from this fic, so I will ruin the perfect NaLu moment.

Alarm Clock loved Karaoke Player. He thought that she loved him back. Sadly, he was very wrong.

Karaoke Player kicked Alarm Clock in between his legs. While he was curled up in pain she shoved him out her window. Alarm Clock landed with a thud on his butt in the dirt outside. He looked up at her with pleading eyes.

"Karaoke Player," he whispered, "I thought you loved me."

Karaoke Player simply blew him a raspberry and slammed her window shut. Alarm Clock picked himself off the ground heavily. He trudged toward a certain rambunctious wizard guild which I will call Drunken Sweater, his heart filled with sadness and betrayal.

On the way there he came across certain blue haired water mage who refers to herself in third person. I will call this person Skyrocketing Lamp.

Please review I love reading them. Sorry if there's spelling/ grammar errors I hate proof reading so I normally just don't. Btw if you think this is weird just keep in mind I'm feeling pretty normal right now, I'm not even feeling insane right now like I am 95% of my life.