Dislaimer: I don't own anyone or Wheel of Fortune in this fic except the announcer/host. But you know that.


b~~~~The Wheel of Time Wheel of Fortune~~~~/b




Announcer: Once again, it's time for the Wheel of Time Wheel of Fortune! Here's your host: Anaiya!!!!!

Anaiya: Hello, everyone, and welcome to Wheel of Time Wheel of Fortune! Here are our contestants today: Matrim Cathoun, Moiraine Sedai, and Nynaeve al'Meera!

//At Mat's name, girls swoon and clap crazily, at Moiraine's, several tomatoes are thrown, and Nynaeve's, some applause.//

Mat: Oh, hi Tuon! And Tylin! And...

Moiraine: Be quiet, farmboy!

Nynaeve: Go right ahead, Mat! Scream in her ear!

Moiraine: Hey, how come Lan gets to help you?!

Nynaeve: He's my Warder and my husband now! A lot has happened since you've been dead, you bloody...

Lan: Nynaeve, one of the first things Aes Sedai need are self-control. Remember? Nynaeve?

Nynaeve: Yeah, yeah...okay, let's get on with this.

Anaiya: Ooooookay! Do we want to know? No. Anyways... first puzzle- catergory is ter'angreals.

Mat: WHAT?! I don't know a thing about those things! Bloody ashes, I don't even know what they are!

Anaiya: Oh well. Too bad so sad. Should have become Asha'man, I guess.

Moiraine: I spin first!

//She spins, lands on $1000, and laughs evilly.//

Moiraine: An R?

Anaiya: Yup- there's five R's.

//Moiraine stares in horror as she sees who is modelling and touching the screens.//

Moiraine: RAND AL'THOR, YOU LIGHT FORSAKEN EXCUSE FOR A DRAGON REBORN, JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!!!

Rand: Huh? Oh! Vanna had a day off, so naturally they had to pick the best-looking person who walked through the doors! So sue me!

Moiraine: I will.

Anaiya: Okay! The person touching screens is not supposed to talk- just touch screens, smile, and look nice. Now STOP! Moiraine?

Moiraine: A T?

Anaiya: There are six T's!

Moiraine: Er...an S?

Anaiya: Yes, there are four S's.

Mat: How many letters are there anyways? The board is all white! Is that all one word?

Anaiya: Yup.

Moiraine: An M?

Anaiya: Yes, there are five M's...

//Two hours later, Moiraine has guessed all but Y, X, Z, V, and Q//

Moiraine: Y?

Anaiya: NO! AT LAST! NO Y!

Moiraine: WHAT?!

Nynaeve: HAH!!!!!!!!!!

Anaiya: Your spin, Nynaeve.

//She spins, lands on $500, and sighs.//

Nynaeve: Er...a Z?

Moiraine: You stupid! Why would there even be ONE Z?

Anaiya: Good! There are ten Z's!

Moiraine: WHAT?! ERR...

Nynaeve: Too bad, poor Moiraine. A V?

Anaiya: Yes, there are twenty V's!

Nynaeve: Uh...Q?

Anaiya: NOPE!

//Mat lands on Bankrupt, which he already is, and Moiraine spins, and lands on $100.//

Moiraine: HAH! X!

Anaiya: Nope! I don't know how that's possible, but oh well.

Nynaeve: I'd like to solve the puzzle!

Anaiya: Yes?

Nynaeve: Ok...Tjaodsalkfcasojnsaoccjnxiudsfhuashfoaushdosaiosaijfosiaduihxjcnlkxnmckxmcnxklcmxkmckxmckxmckxmzkcmkxlzojdfoijaoisiowzzzzz?

Anaiya: THAT'S RIGHT NYNAEVE!

Mat: Oh, I knew that! Anyone could have figured that out!

Lan: Watch your tongue, farmboy! My wife's a genious!

Nynaeve: Am I? So sweet!

//Everyone is momentarily distracted as she pulls him behind the curtain and kisses him//

Rand: I love happy endings!

Moiraine: WHAT ARE YOU CALLING HAPPY?

Rand: Them! Oh, I know! I know! You're mad because you hate her! You hate her!

Moiraine: Very good, Rand! Get the doggie treat!

//She throws a dog biscuit behind the curtain at Lan, Rand hurls himself at it, knocks over Nynaeve, breaks through the floor, and can be heard singing about falling through the floor after a dog biscut.//

Lan: THAT BLOODY SHEEPHERDER! I'LL STUFF HIS-(at this point Lan goes off in a torrent that is censored for young viewers' purposes) Masiara, are you okay?

Moiraine: Of course I am!

Lan: I WAS NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU AND YOU KNOW IT!

Moiraine: Why not?!

Nynaeve: GIVE IT UP!

//She points to the red Malkeiri mark on her forehead, and sticks our her tongue//

Moiraine: WAHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Anaiya: Er...so...are we going to still play here?

Nynaeve: It's Moiraine's fault.

Mat: I'll take the money if we can leave!

Anaiya: Deal!

//She hands Mat the money, and dives into the hole in the floor, shouting, "To soar!"//

Perrin: Hey, that's what Hopper said!

Hopper: Yeah, that's copyright!

Perrin: WHAT? Hopper, why are you here? NOOO!!!!!! GET THEM OUT OF MY HEAD!

//He runs up to the stage, and flings himself after Anaiya and Rand.//

Moiraine: WAIT! YOU'RE TA'VEREN! YOU CAN'T JUST FLING YOURSELF DOWN THERE!

Nynaeve: Go after him then!

//She whacks Moiraine with her braid so hard that she falls after the three down the hole.//

Lan: Nice one, Mashiara!

Nynaeve: Thanks, Gaidin. Let's go!

---Meanwhile, there's a party going on in the Wheel of Fortune basement...---

Rand: This was a good idea, Perrin.

Perrin: Can't you see that all my ideas are good?

Rand: Well that's funny. Because I thought that you letting wolves in your head, going mad, and howling...were all really bad ideas!

Perrin: Well anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude!

Moiraine: GET ME DOWN!

//Rand, Perrin, and Anaiya look up, seeing Moiraine hanging from the ceiling, caught on a broken beam.//

Anaiya: Naw...we like you there. Then you can't eat any cake.

And they all lived happily ever after...except Moiraine!


THE END!!!!!!!