May The Femme Be With You!
By Phoenix
-Main Conference Room, Autobot City, Earth, 2006 - The Weekly Big Boss Meeting-
Rodimus Prime looked again at the words cheerfully glowing on the datapad screen held between his fingertips. 'PEACE IN OUR HANDS - The celebratory exhibition of peace in our galaxy' the words said. It was the last item on the list for the meeting between him and Ultra Magnus.
His optics blinked on and off quickly. Who was messing with his datapad? He didn't want to deal with extra crap today. He had a whole pile of official crap on his desk that needed sorting out.
"Something wrong?" Ultra Magnus asked mildly from the other side of the table, sitting with one elbow on the table so one hand could cradle his chin.
Rodimus Prime frowned and laid his datapad flat on the table, then flicked it with one finger so it spun easily across the table and bumped to a stop against Magnus' other hand. "What's this thing tacked on the end of *my* list? I didn't put it there," he asked grumpily.
The end of Magnus' lips twitched. He was amused at Rodimus' rare display of irritation. It was always hard to get their 'Chosen One' to see things seriously and remove the massive grin from his adorably handsome face. Ultra Magnus saw anything that annoyed The Great Rodimus Prime as a secret bonus. It was relieving payback for all the pranks Rodimus/Hot Rod had played on the long-suffering City Commander.
"Oh, that thing," Magnus said, clicking on the entry with his pointer pen and displaying the contents behind it on the small screen. He turned it towards Rodimus, "The Paradrons and the EDC were collaborating on some sort of great get-together party thing. This must be it. I didn't think they were serious about making it happen."
"Huh. A party with EDC stiffs and chronically happy Paradrons. Joy, joy," Rodimus muttered, reading the entry.
Ultra Magnus sighed, "Marissa isn't a stiff," he said, referring to the Earth woman Marissa Fairbourne, who he'd worked with on many occasions.
"Now Magnus, I told you to keep your mouth shut about this thing between you and Captain Fairbourne. Its not healthy when two different species get involved," Rodimus snickered, directing a come hither glance towards Magnus.
The older red-and blue Autobot gave him a nasty look and looked like he might make a retort to that but he decided silence said it all, and sat straight in his chair with a fixed neutral expression.
"Okay, OKAAAAY. Dance with her at the party then. I know you like the Macarena," Rodimus chuckled.
Magnus groaned and laid his forehead on the table, one hand clenching and unclenching in an imitation of wanting to squeeze Rodimus' throat casing.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
-Memorial Gardens, Outside Autobot City, Earth-
"A party?! We'll come! Where and when?" Elita One said far too enthusiastically for Optimus Prime's feelings.
Springer stood and watched as Elita carefully fluffed up some tiny flowers in the row of bushes lining the memorial garden just outside of Autobot City.
Optimus Prime sat on a solid Autobot sized garden bench, optics locked on his beloved as she happily examined and appreciated the Earth plants. The Triple Changer exchanged optic contact with the Autobot Commander. Optimus' shoulders slumped and his chassis seemed to sigh. Parties were not his thing, but Elita loved them.
"Its not quite a party, Elita, it'll be more like an official meet-and- greet thing, with a bit of celebrating and public posturing. Sandstorm thought it would be nice if we had a feature honoring some of our well- known Autobot heroes. Optimus in particular," Springer tried to explain.
"It doesn't matter what its called, its still not fun," Optimus grumbled. He stretched his legs out and leaned back on his bench, hooking his hands behind his head. Springer smirked at him and moved to follow Elita as she pottered around the gardens.
"Something on your CPU, Springer?" Elita said, poking at a half dead rosemary bush. He'd been following her for a few minutes, uncharacteristically saying nothing. Springer smiled and crossed his arms. Elita glanced at him, then left the ailing plant and continued along the path. Springer followed. He was quietly admiring the glow of her reddish pink metal in the sun, but he also had something to say to her.
"Rodimus sent me an email. A communication, actually. From some people called 'The Optimus Prime Appreciation Club,'. These people want to meet up with Optimus at the party thing," Springer explained.
The Femme Commander straightened up and turned to face him. She was grinning, "Oh. THEM." Her amused expression made Springer think she knew something about them. Maybe she'd been keeping tabs on this weirdo group that wanted to get too close to her boyfriend.
Springer unfolded his arms. He tilted his head to the side to avoid the afternoon sun going into his optics, "You know who they are?"
"IF THAT BUNCH OF MORON FEMMES ARE COMING, I WON'T TURN UP~!" Optimus bellowed from his comfy bench on the other side of the garden.
"God, he's got good hearing for an old geezer, doesn't he?" Elita laughed.
Springer looked happily surprised, "They're all females?! Why don't I have a fan club like that?"
Elita slapped his bulky shoulder, "Would Arcee even let you? She tells me she still can't find a femme you haven't recharged with." She patted his cheek fondly, "You've got a wonderfully intricate history with femmes, cutie."
"Except for you," Springer retorted, and gave her an appraising smirk, his optics narrowing to slits.
"Change your paint scheme to red and blue, call yourself Optimus and they're all yours, Spring," Optimus advised as he came strolling down the path towards them, having forsaken his seat.
"I don't want second-hand Optimus groupies, I want *Springer* groupies," Springer pointed out.
Elita shook her head and started walking again.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
-Iacon Exhibition Center, Cybertron, a few Earth months later-
Ultra Magnus stood still at the entrance to the Exhibition Center, hands by his sides, optics carefully going over the large crowd. He watched the goings-on inside the massive hall with his renowned military precision. Finally, his mouth twitched slightly and he turned his head to the side to speak to someone who was carefully hiding behind his tall bulk, "I don't see any waiting and hysterical female groupies, Prime," he informed the anxious Autobot Commander.
Optimus Prime looked with flaring worried optics over the shoulder of his City Commander. "Yes, but they'll find me..... soon.... I *know* it," he muttered.
Elita One stepped up and smacked Magnus in the shoulder, an achievement considering the difference in their heights. Magnus looked down at her with surprise, "Hey!".
Elita frowned and waved a hand at him, "Magnus! Don't let him use you as a sissy-guard!" she demanded.
Ultra Magnus flinched a little as he stared down at her. He was caught between the whim of the Autobot Commander and the Autobot Femme Commander. He supposed there were worse spots to be caught in.
Optimus Prime crossed his arms and gave his mate a disgruntled glare, "You're the one who dismissed my suggestion for having an accompanying Centurion guard." He was already noticing people in the crowd who were looking his way. Most of them female.
"You don't need a guard and you won't be attacked by horrible females. Get over it!" Elita One spoke sternly.
"You know what?" Optimus said suddenly, swinging his shoulders around and turning to leave, "I promised Kup I'd pick up those extra disks for him from the Hall of Records, I better go do that now or I'll forget, you know me......"
"Magnus!" Elita hissed as she saw Optimus start to leave. Obligingly on cue, Ultra Magnus hooked Optimus by the shoulder and dragged his friend back into the hall.
Optimus gave a muffled shriek as he was forcibly returned inside by Magnus' strength and plonked in front of Elita. "What are you doing?! Hands off, Magnus!" Optimus growled.
Elita One reached up and hooked a finger under the bottom of his mask, pulling his head down to her level. Optimus froze in a bent over position. "Orion, I will only say this once so stop the panic attack and listen up," Elita said calmly, using his pet name.
Optimus made a quiet gurgling sound. Elita continued on. "You WILL stay here and greet a few guests. You WILL be guarded by Ultra Magnus as a means of protecting your sissy butt from mad females. He will ALSO be acting as a means of keeping you from running away with your antennae between your crotch plating. Okay?"
Optimus tried to nod but her finger was restricting his head movement. Ultra Magnus looked on and started to wonder if Elita was the female they should really be scared of.
Further away, Sandstorm spotted the group of them from down the hall and came walking quickly towards them, "Hi guys! So nice to see you here!! I think you'll really love this - oh," Sandstorm cut himself off when his brightly happy self saw the way his three friends Optimus Prime, Ultra Magnus and Elita One were caught in strange poses.
Elita let her finger drop and Optimus straightened up. Ultra Magnus coughed.
"Um, is everything.... ok?" Sandstorm said hesitantly. His optics searched each of them worriedly.
"We're fine 'Storm. Nice to see you too! Optimus is so glad to finally have a chance to meet the public and I think you've done a brilliant job getting this thing together," Elita rattled on smoothly.
Optimus stayed quiet and looked down unhappily at his feet. Magnus looked sideways at him with his expression and wide optics saying 'I'm sooooo sorry for you'.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Next chapter coming soon. The femme groupies appear and cause a riot! But its not what you think.....
By Phoenix
-Main Conference Room, Autobot City, Earth, 2006 - The Weekly Big Boss Meeting-
Rodimus Prime looked again at the words cheerfully glowing on the datapad screen held between his fingertips. 'PEACE IN OUR HANDS - The celebratory exhibition of peace in our galaxy' the words said. It was the last item on the list for the meeting between him and Ultra Magnus.
His optics blinked on and off quickly. Who was messing with his datapad? He didn't want to deal with extra crap today. He had a whole pile of official crap on his desk that needed sorting out.
"Something wrong?" Ultra Magnus asked mildly from the other side of the table, sitting with one elbow on the table so one hand could cradle his chin.
Rodimus Prime frowned and laid his datapad flat on the table, then flicked it with one finger so it spun easily across the table and bumped to a stop against Magnus' other hand. "What's this thing tacked on the end of *my* list? I didn't put it there," he asked grumpily.
The end of Magnus' lips twitched. He was amused at Rodimus' rare display of irritation. It was always hard to get their 'Chosen One' to see things seriously and remove the massive grin from his adorably handsome face. Ultra Magnus saw anything that annoyed The Great Rodimus Prime as a secret bonus. It was relieving payback for all the pranks Rodimus/Hot Rod had played on the long-suffering City Commander.
"Oh, that thing," Magnus said, clicking on the entry with his pointer pen and displaying the contents behind it on the small screen. He turned it towards Rodimus, "The Paradrons and the EDC were collaborating on some sort of great get-together party thing. This must be it. I didn't think they were serious about making it happen."
"Huh. A party with EDC stiffs and chronically happy Paradrons. Joy, joy," Rodimus muttered, reading the entry.
Ultra Magnus sighed, "Marissa isn't a stiff," he said, referring to the Earth woman Marissa Fairbourne, who he'd worked with on many occasions.
"Now Magnus, I told you to keep your mouth shut about this thing between you and Captain Fairbourne. Its not healthy when two different species get involved," Rodimus snickered, directing a come hither glance towards Magnus.
The older red-and blue Autobot gave him a nasty look and looked like he might make a retort to that but he decided silence said it all, and sat straight in his chair with a fixed neutral expression.
"Okay, OKAAAAY. Dance with her at the party then. I know you like the Macarena," Rodimus chuckled.
Magnus groaned and laid his forehead on the table, one hand clenching and unclenching in an imitation of wanting to squeeze Rodimus' throat casing.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
-Memorial Gardens, Outside Autobot City, Earth-
"A party?! We'll come! Where and when?" Elita One said far too enthusiastically for Optimus Prime's feelings.
Springer stood and watched as Elita carefully fluffed up some tiny flowers in the row of bushes lining the memorial garden just outside of Autobot City.
Optimus Prime sat on a solid Autobot sized garden bench, optics locked on his beloved as she happily examined and appreciated the Earth plants. The Triple Changer exchanged optic contact with the Autobot Commander. Optimus' shoulders slumped and his chassis seemed to sigh. Parties were not his thing, but Elita loved them.
"Its not quite a party, Elita, it'll be more like an official meet-and- greet thing, with a bit of celebrating and public posturing. Sandstorm thought it would be nice if we had a feature honoring some of our well- known Autobot heroes. Optimus in particular," Springer tried to explain.
"It doesn't matter what its called, its still not fun," Optimus grumbled. He stretched his legs out and leaned back on his bench, hooking his hands behind his head. Springer smirked at him and moved to follow Elita as she pottered around the gardens.
"Something on your CPU, Springer?" Elita said, poking at a half dead rosemary bush. He'd been following her for a few minutes, uncharacteristically saying nothing. Springer smiled and crossed his arms. Elita glanced at him, then left the ailing plant and continued along the path. Springer followed. He was quietly admiring the glow of her reddish pink metal in the sun, but he also had something to say to her.
"Rodimus sent me an email. A communication, actually. From some people called 'The Optimus Prime Appreciation Club,'. These people want to meet up with Optimus at the party thing," Springer explained.
The Femme Commander straightened up and turned to face him. She was grinning, "Oh. THEM." Her amused expression made Springer think she knew something about them. Maybe she'd been keeping tabs on this weirdo group that wanted to get too close to her boyfriend.
Springer unfolded his arms. He tilted his head to the side to avoid the afternoon sun going into his optics, "You know who they are?"
"IF THAT BUNCH OF MORON FEMMES ARE COMING, I WON'T TURN UP~!" Optimus bellowed from his comfy bench on the other side of the garden.
"God, he's got good hearing for an old geezer, doesn't he?" Elita laughed.
Springer looked happily surprised, "They're all females?! Why don't I have a fan club like that?"
Elita slapped his bulky shoulder, "Would Arcee even let you? She tells me she still can't find a femme you haven't recharged with." She patted his cheek fondly, "You've got a wonderfully intricate history with femmes, cutie."
"Except for you," Springer retorted, and gave her an appraising smirk, his optics narrowing to slits.
"Change your paint scheme to red and blue, call yourself Optimus and they're all yours, Spring," Optimus advised as he came strolling down the path towards them, having forsaken his seat.
"I don't want second-hand Optimus groupies, I want *Springer* groupies," Springer pointed out.
Elita shook her head and started walking again.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
-Iacon Exhibition Center, Cybertron, a few Earth months later-
Ultra Magnus stood still at the entrance to the Exhibition Center, hands by his sides, optics carefully going over the large crowd. He watched the goings-on inside the massive hall with his renowned military precision. Finally, his mouth twitched slightly and he turned his head to the side to speak to someone who was carefully hiding behind his tall bulk, "I don't see any waiting and hysterical female groupies, Prime," he informed the anxious Autobot Commander.
Optimus Prime looked with flaring worried optics over the shoulder of his City Commander. "Yes, but they'll find me..... soon.... I *know* it," he muttered.
Elita One stepped up and smacked Magnus in the shoulder, an achievement considering the difference in their heights. Magnus looked down at her with surprise, "Hey!".
Elita frowned and waved a hand at him, "Magnus! Don't let him use you as a sissy-guard!" she demanded.
Ultra Magnus flinched a little as he stared down at her. He was caught between the whim of the Autobot Commander and the Autobot Femme Commander. He supposed there were worse spots to be caught in.
Optimus Prime crossed his arms and gave his mate a disgruntled glare, "You're the one who dismissed my suggestion for having an accompanying Centurion guard." He was already noticing people in the crowd who were looking his way. Most of them female.
"You don't need a guard and you won't be attacked by horrible females. Get over it!" Elita One spoke sternly.
"You know what?" Optimus said suddenly, swinging his shoulders around and turning to leave, "I promised Kup I'd pick up those extra disks for him from the Hall of Records, I better go do that now or I'll forget, you know me......"
"Magnus!" Elita hissed as she saw Optimus start to leave. Obligingly on cue, Ultra Magnus hooked Optimus by the shoulder and dragged his friend back into the hall.
Optimus gave a muffled shriek as he was forcibly returned inside by Magnus' strength and plonked in front of Elita. "What are you doing?! Hands off, Magnus!" Optimus growled.
Elita One reached up and hooked a finger under the bottom of his mask, pulling his head down to her level. Optimus froze in a bent over position. "Orion, I will only say this once so stop the panic attack and listen up," Elita said calmly, using his pet name.
Optimus made a quiet gurgling sound. Elita continued on. "You WILL stay here and greet a few guests. You WILL be guarded by Ultra Magnus as a means of protecting your sissy butt from mad females. He will ALSO be acting as a means of keeping you from running away with your antennae between your crotch plating. Okay?"
Optimus tried to nod but her finger was restricting his head movement. Ultra Magnus looked on and started to wonder if Elita was the female they should really be scared of.
Further away, Sandstorm spotted the group of them from down the hall and came walking quickly towards them, "Hi guys! So nice to see you here!! I think you'll really love this - oh," Sandstorm cut himself off when his brightly happy self saw the way his three friends Optimus Prime, Ultra Magnus and Elita One were caught in strange poses.
Elita let her finger drop and Optimus straightened up. Ultra Magnus coughed.
"Um, is everything.... ok?" Sandstorm said hesitantly. His optics searched each of them worriedly.
"We're fine 'Storm. Nice to see you too! Optimus is so glad to finally have a chance to meet the public and I think you've done a brilliant job getting this thing together," Elita rattled on smoothly.
Optimus stayed quiet and looked down unhappily at his feet. Magnus looked sideways at him with his expression and wide optics saying 'I'm sooooo sorry for you'.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Next chapter coming soon. The femme groupies appear and cause a riot! But its not what you think.....