Title: My Only Love
Rating: T
Genre: Spiritual/General
Summary: At the end of his life the Face of Boe thinks about the people in his life, and one in particular that touched his heart. Song: "My Only Love" by Jennifer Love Hewitt. Event's following "Gridlock" with some mention of "Utopia", "Sound of Drums", and "Last of the Time Lords."
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or the song in the story. I do not make any money off this story or the characters in it.
My Only Love
Deep in my soul The love so strongIt takes controlLove we both knowThe secrets thereThe feelings showsDrifting far apart I make a wish On a shooting star
"You…Are…Not…Alone."
Those were the last words I spoke to my oldest friends as I felt the last of my life force drain from me. I sighed as I closed my eyes. I had finally delivered the message I had waited five trillion years to say. I knew I wasn't coming back from this one. I could feel my life slipping away from me for good. I had used up a lot in my fight against Aberon and if not for that I would have some to spare but I knew this was my destiny. This was when I'd die for the final time.
It was long ago when I first set out on the journey that took me to this moment. First as a Time Agent, then as a temporal con artist and lastly as an observer of time.
I could still remember the look of sad pride on my mother's face when I got my acceptance letter in the Temporal Academy. The Senator of Boeshane even made it a grand celebration. I wished they hadn't done it. It made me feel guilty for the real reason why I joined. To look for my brother Grey. I was going to use the Time Agency to find Grey no matter what it took.
I just didn't think to meet a man to question his motives. A man I could see was hardened by a war he spoke little of and of a people he spoke less of. I half dreamt of opening the old soldier's heart but after seeing him act around another I knew it wouldn't be me.
When I saw my friend again I was excited to see the man again and even more that they stopped an age old enemy of Earth. Even as I walked away with a year that never was of experiences I knew I would be seeing my old friend again. And every time I caught sight of my friend since the first day they met I felt more alive then I had ever felt.
It was also because of my old friend that I was able to fall in love and not have one night stands. I learned that love and making love wasn't something thrown around. It was freely given and felt wonderful when given back.
To say my path to redemption was easy was an understatement. It was anything but. It was the hardest two centuries of my life. There were times when I made mistakes that cost me and even now the face of my own death I still blames myself for them. Even the man who sacrificed himself for others I took the blame for, but I was proud of them. They gave their lives to protect their world, just like I would do if I could at the time. Just like I was doing now.
I hadn't meant to get myself caught in the 19th century but when you can't die you get noticed. And I did get noticed. The agents who found me poked and prodded me in ways I didn't want to remember and I found out almost every way I could die.
They even tried to experiments on me, tried to find out how I couldn't die and I even admitted I was interested but aside all my normal body parts there wasn't anything wrong with me. They tortured me for future events and technology but I didn't budge. I had taken the pain and somehow kept my old humor with me, which got me into trouble more then once.
When I was allowed to choose my own team I figured it was as close to redemption as I was going to get. I was careful when he chose my team, each having a quality I needed, curiosity, compassion smart and determination, but also the drive to discover the new. Together they made the perfect team without trying and I knew I chosen well. Out of everyone I met in my previous lives I missed them the most.
And I wished to any god that was listening that I could see them again. I never kept and record about my life and let others do it for me, letting the legend spin as it should. I had heard of the legendary creature since I was a boy. People said the Face of Boe was the oldest and wisest of anything in the galaxies, not to mention the richest. As a boy I thought they were just stories and thought nothing of them. I would have liked to met the person that the records made up. Now I wished I did.
There will come a day Somewhere far awayIn your arms I'll stay My only love...
When I first came to Earth I only chose my new alias because it seemed convenient, but it was more. "Captain Jack Harkness" was a famous historical figure and I was a fan of Old Earth World War II. I knew almost everything about the war, like the dress and the music, which was how I fit in so easily.
But it was more then that, for my picking the name. I picked it because it was my name. My family could race their line back to Old Earth from a decade before World War II. I was even named after an ancestor. Captain Jack Harkness. I had thought that was him, but after keeping track of my descendents for millions of years I know knew it wasn't the first Captain Harkness. It was me. I had been named after myself.
Weird huh? It took me five billions years to figure it out. For the wisest creature in the known galaxies I felt like an idiot.
But my life's gone now, and with it me. I know that somewhere out there a Harkness was wondering around the galaxy causing trouble, because that's what they did best, but it wouldn't be like it was before. There will never again be a true Harkness.
They were brilliant, my old friend. You would have loved them, leaders and troublemakers all the way, and spread out so far. More then half are in a planetary military. They were hard to keep track of but I had time, and a very good memory.
My only wish I had someone to share my life with but with how I knew I couldn't stay with a person for long. The only thing that kept me going through my long life was knowing I wouldn't die alone.
Even though your gone Our love will still live onThe feeling is so strongMy only love, my only love....
There were times I wished you were there with me. I could have used your almost infinite wisdom to quickly solve fights between races. There were times I just wanted them to kill each other off. Especially when the humans and the homo-reptilia met for the first time. Humans were so adamant in the belief that they were the first sentient species on Earth the didn't believe anything the Silurians had to say.
Other times I just wanted to throw them in a closet and forget about them.
But I knew you had your differences in keeping order in the universe. Trust me, the Shadow Proclamation isn't an easy set of rules to keep. I've had my chance to knock a few heads. I can only imagine what you went through.
Before I met you I didn't believe in fate. Only the next quick take. Now I did everything I could to repent for my past mistakes. Even turning into the ever public and famous Face of Boe. I wanted to stay out of history's way turns out I was a part of it.
I tried to keep the future the way it should. I turned Torchwood into something I hoped you would be proud of. Protecting the universe while keeping everyone safe. As the Face of Boe I had a long standing seat at the Council of Shadow and I promoted peace as often as I could. And I fought when I had to.
There will come a day Somewhere far awayIn your arms I'll stay My only loveYou've reach the deepest partOf the secret in my heartYou've known it from the start My only love
I have loved man and lost everyone. A piece of me died every time they did. I like to think I made a lot of right choices in my lives. Like my first team.
At the thought of my old team I felt like I would cry. If the dead could cry. They were special, each of them. Spirited Gwen, bashful Toshiko, obnoxious Owen and compassionate Ianto. You sure would have loved them. I know I did.
I miss them equally, but who I missed most was Ianto, and his coffee. No one and nothing made coffee like Ianto. Even synthetic didn't quite get it right. Five trillion years and I still haven't gotten a good cup of coffee.
Oh, Ianto, it's not because of your coffee that I miss you so much. It's because in my whole life time I never found someone that compared to you. You loved me despite all I did and even stood next to me to save Earth even through you knew you could die. You weren't much of a fighter but you did fight when you needed to and because of that you meant more to me then I ever knew. I never forgot you and I never stopped loving you.
"Uncle Jack, Uncle Jack, wake up."
Stephen? No, he died a long time ago. I killed him.
"Come on, Jack. Open your eyes."
That's Gwen's voice. Oh, I could cry. I opened my eyes and saw Stephen and Gwen standing above me, a pale blue sky above.
"What the hell…?"
Gwen laughed. "Nope, not Hell. Something entirely different.," she said helping me up. I was human again. I looked down in amazement at my five finger hands and flexed them.
"But I thought death was nothing," I said.
"It is." I turned and found Owen and Toshiko standing behind me. "But after a while everything goes real bright and we find ourselves here," said Owen. "Where the hell have you been? We were about to give up on you coming."
Toshiko jabbed an elbow in his ribs, which made him gasp in breath and she smiled at me.
"Hi, Jack," she said.
"How did I get here so soon?"
"It seems your knocked on Death's door one time too many," said Gwen. "Gave you an all access pass to here."
"Where ever here is," said Owen and I laughed with them. The place was beautiful and it had an unnatural feel to it.
"Everyone's here, Jack," said Toshiko. "We got together and swapped stories about you. You've gotten around."
"I do that," I said with a smile, but stopped when I saw something missing. "Where's Ianto?"
"Uncle Ianto's over there," said Stephen pointing to a hill. On the hill was a figure in a three piece suit. "He's been waiting for you for a long time."
"I'm sure he has," I said and ran up the hill. As I neared I saw it was Ianto and I ran faster. "Ianto!"
"Hello, Jack," he said with his beautiful Welsh accent. As I neared him I grabbed him and pulled him close to me, kissing him till I was dizzy. I pulled away and saw him smiling. I couldn't keep from smiling too.
"I love you," I say, saying the words I was never able to. Ianto smiled up at me.
"I love you too."
I knew then that I had found my part in history was done.
I suppose, I was a time traveler again in a way. I didn't have a machine to take me backward or forward at will. I just walked forward. I watched history unfold and helped to shape it into the future I know it will become long after I finally die.
There will come a day Somewhere far awayIn your arms I'll stay My only loveYou've reach the deepest partOf the secret in my heartYou've known it from the start my only love, my only love...
END
I originally thought of doing this with "God Bless the Broken Road" with the Rascal Flatts, but that's been over done. I heard this song and I thought it described Jack pretty well with his first team and his feelings toward Ianto. I hope you all like it and pleaser review!