A/N: Written for the 2012 VAMB Spring Secret Drabble Exchange for Alpha Flyer, who wrote the first line.

Many thanks to Dawn47 for her assistance, and to Mizvoy for her invaluable editing.

Attack of the Zombie People

She had allowed herself to be Constance Goodheart for a mere two minutes and eight point five seconds before she turned to Paris, one eyebrow raised. "This 'imagizer,' as you call it, is primitive. I fail to see the enjoyment in pretending to utilize defective technology."

"Come on, Seven!" Paris encouraged her. "You have to get into the story." Seven's first visit to the Captain Proton program had not been a resounding success; she had broken Satan's Robot and refused to play along. But now that her exploration of humanity was progressing, she had asked to try the program again. At least this time she had attempted to play along for a couple minutes before breaking character. "This is the chapter where we have to fight off the Zombie People from the planet Zexus. You can't watch the Zombie People's movements if you don't look at the imagizer."

"The technology in this story is crude and unrealistic. Why do you not improve it?"

"We have to be authentic, Seven," Tom said, picking up a "ray gun" and tossing it to her. "This is what people in the twentieth century thought the future would look like."

"They were misguided."

Tom shrugged. "Maybe. But the whole purpose of playing out these stories is to get away from my everyday life. It doesn't matter if it's realistic. The special effects don't make the program; the story makes the program."

"The Doctor has informed me that a compelling story requires good characters. Do you agree?"

"Of course."

"Do you believe that Constance Goodheart qualifies as a good character?"

"She's the quintessential ingenue, Seven - blonde, buxom, great looks, great sex appeal..." Tom trailed off, hoping that Seven wasn't offended by his description of her character since many of the same adjectives could be used to describe Seven herself. Fortunately, she didn't seem offended.

"She is highly inefficient," Seven pointed out. "What is the purpose of a character who does nothing but scream?"

"It's true that in the twentieth century women didn't have the equal roles in society that they deserve, but she's a damsel in distress. Captain Proton needs someone to save."

"I thought that Captain Proton saved Earth."

"Well, he does," Paris acknowledged, polishing his ray gun. "But it's more exciting if he has a personal connection to someone in trouble." Tom paused. "He's not only saving Earth, but also the woman he loves." Paris pretended to swoon as he showed Seven how a damsel in distress was supposed to behave.

Seven raised her eyebrow at him again. "And this constitutes a good story?"

"Yeah! Excitement, adventure, romance... what more could you want?"

"These stories are simpleminded and childish," Seven replied and moved to exit the holodeck.

"Seven, wait." She stopped, turning back to him, and Tom's expression became more serious. "You don't get it."

"No doubt."

"Let me try to explain." She waited while he continued, "I like these stories because they're simple. Everything around us is so complicated; there are so many variables, so many unknowns. The people in our lives are complex, and the decisions that we have to make every day often have no clear answer. In Captain Proton's world, it's good against evil. You know who your enemies are and you can fight them. The good guys always win in these stories. They have to undergo trials, and sometimes you think that Chaotica is going to win up until the very last moment... but in the end, Captain Proton always saves the world. People need heroes, Seven. They need stories that dramatize their moral values, that show them what is right and wrong, in a way that's black and white..." He paused, chuckling as he gestured at the their surroundings. "No pun intended. Because otherwise it's too easy to get caught up in the grey areas, and to lose the idea of right and wrong altogether."

Seven of Nine cocked her head to one side. She had been listening to Paris intently, trying to absorb his speech in its entirety. She had rarely seen Paris become so impassioned about a subject. "I believe I understand," she said slowly. "When I was linked to the Collective, they provided me with that clarity. It has been difficult, as an individual, to maintain my own sense of right and wrong. I believe I can understand how a story would help you to do that."

Tom sighed with relief. Finally, she seemed to understand! "That's great, Seven. Can we play the story now?"

"We can," Seven replied with a nod. "However, I would like to change a few parameters of the program first."

Tom looked at her suspiciously. Change parameters? What did she mean? When he followed her over to the holodeck controls, his eyes widened as he watched her adjust the program. As her plans became clear to him, he tried desperately to stifle his laughter. Boy was he going to have a story for B'Elanna tonight.

An hour later, Captain Proton stood proudly, ray gun in hand, chasing off the last of the Zombie People. "That will teach you!" the Captain bellowed at the ugly creatures as they scampered back to their ship. "Don't think that you can threaten Earth again. Captain Proton will always be here to defend it."

"Ahhhhh!" screamed a figure suspended in a bubble a couple meters above the ground. "Ahhhh!"

"Don't worry, Constantine! I'll save you!" said Captain Proton. "I just need to use the ship's destructobeam to destroy the Zombie People's generator first. Then the prison bubble that holds you will be broken." Captain Proton leapt aboard her ship and activated the crude weapon, pointing it directly at the generator left by the retreating Zombie People.

As the generator sparked and fizzed amidst a large explosion, the bubble that had been holding Constantine Goodheart burst open, and he fell to the earth with a thud. "Oof!" Tom Paris exclaimed.

A moment later 'Captain Proton' was beside him, offering him her hand. "Did I perform a satisfactory rescue?" she asked.

Tom nodded. "Pretty good for your first time. Did you have fun?"

Seven studied him for a moment, as if trying to decipher the answer to the question. "I still believe the use of such primitive, simplistic holodeck programs is an inefficient use of my time." She paused. "But yes, I suppose I did have... fun." Tom beamed; those were words he never thought he'd hear Seven say. "Thank you, Mr. Paris, for sharing your program."

"Any time, Seven," he replied. "Any time."

Seven handed Tom her ray gun. "I will see you on the bridge, Lieutenant." She turned and exited the holodeck. Tom put the gun back in its place aboard the ship and realized he had to change out of his costume before he went back to his quarters. He didn't think B'Elanna would appreciate seeing him in short shorts and a very skimpy shirt... especially not if she found out he'd been "playing" with Seven of Nine. But hey, anything in the service of helping Seven rediscover her individuality, right? Besides, Tom had never realized how therapeutic it could be to spend an hour doing nothing but screaming till he was hoarse. He smiled. He couldn't wait until the next time Seven wanted to change the parameters of one of his holodeck programs.