I don't own anything

If you liked Twilight this may not be for you

So...here it is

My version of:
Twilight

(Bella is in the cottage, gently rocking Renesmee to sleep. Suddenly the Volturi burst through the door.)

Caius: You! Cullen shieldy! Grr!
(All of the Volturi are dressed as cavemen and they carry clubs.)

Bella: AHHHHHHH! (Bella screams and run in terror, dropping Renesmee on the ground.)

Renesmee: I 'aint afraid 'a you. (Heavily accented with southern twang.) 'Ya'll go home now, ya here!

(Edward enters)

Edward: NO! Don't hurt Bella! Take Renesmee instead! (Starts crying) I promise, I don't even like her. Here (he shoves Renesmee toward Volturi)

Renesmee: Shut up you parasite loser! (To Volturi) Take my daddy. He's mean and he only likes mama for you know what. (Renesmee rolls eyes)

Marcus: Wait! Hold up! You're jumping to conclusions. We didn't come to capture anyone! WE CAME TO DANCE!

(Everyone looks up as a disco ball comes out of the ceiling and the floor lights up. Suddenly everyone is in 80's retro, disco clothes.)

(Bella reenters)

(Alice and Rosalie enter)

Alice: OMG! NO WAY, NO WAY!

(Alice begins to cry)

Bella: What is it Alice?

Alice: YOU GUYS HAD A PARTY AND DIDN'T INVITE ME!

Rosalie: I told you they were evil.

Bella: I didn't know about it either. Oh Well! Edward's here so the world is all WONDERFUL! Te-He.

Renesmee: (coughs and mutters) Losers! Ugh!

(Rosalie flips hair and shows off her wicked dance moves.)

Emmett: (enters laughing) WOOO! YEAAH! I love me a good dance part-AY!

(Carlisle, Esme and Jasper enter)

Carlisle: My Word!

(Esme starts the electric slide.)

Jasper: (rushes to Alice and bend on one knee) My I get you anything Master?

Alice: Shoo!

Renesmee: (as she begins speaking everyone stops dance and music fades) Shut UP! You ARE ALL IDIOTS!

Alice: Hey that's my line!

Renesmee: To bad! You are crazy! ANNOYING! Absolutely INSANE! GRRRR!
(She runs away)

(Jacob enters)

Jacob: Howdy ya'll! Where's my girlfriend whose sixteen years younger than me? OMG! Ugh you made her mad. (tone turns whinny) Guys, ugh, don't do that!

Suddenly a gunman bursts in and shoots everyone!

YEAH! THEY ARE GONE FOR EVER!

The End!

Review and let me know what ya think

I didn't wirte this my friend did, I just helped her come up with the Idea