Disclaimer thing: I don't own the X-men Evolution cartoon or any of
the mutants in this story, they're copyrighted to Marvel Comics and Warner
Brothers, and... whoever else. I wish I did though, cause then I'd be rich!
Filthy rich! Bwaahhaahhaaaahahhaaa!!!
*pauses* Wait... Why do we always say 'filthy' rich? Don't rich people take baths? O_o I mean, it's not like they can't afford it... Hmmm.. Oh well!
Right, one more thing... in case you're deprived and have never watched the cartoon before, lemme just mention that the characters in this story are really much saner on the show. Quite boring really... :P Well, enjoy de first chapter! ^_^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Planning, Demerits, and Evil Professors
In the Rec Room, which is located in the Xavier Institute for Frea- err, 'Gifted Youngters,' Professor Xavier sits in his wheelchair, a bunch of pamplets in his lap.
Prof. Xavier: Come come, X-Freaks... I mean, X-MEN! Gather 'round!
Kitty: Professor! I'm like, not a man! Or a freak!
Prof. Xavier: *sighs, mumbling* I better be getting paid overtime for this...
Scott: What was that, Professor?
Prof. Xavier: Oh, nothing at all! *evil laughter* *clears throat* All right, X-BOYS and X-GIRLS, gather 'round!
All the X-Frea- I mean, X-BOYS and X-GIRLS move to stand in a line before the Professor.
Prof. Xavier: Around! A-round! Not in front, you ido- um, I mean... you lovable students you! *gags when no one's looking*
The X-men... well, X-kids, finally understand and gather around the Professor in a square.
Prof. Xavier: -_-' Gah... *sighs* Close enough... *mumbles* Idiots...
Jean: That wasn't a very nice thing to think... say... You big meanie! Fifteen demerits! And you have to clean the food every night for a month, and cook the X-jet 20 times a day... also for a month.
All: O_o
Prof. Xavier: *whines* But Jeeeeannn... *pauses* Hey! I don't have to listen to you! You're merely a pathetic student! I'm the powerful... mutant called Xavier! Mwahahaahhahaahahaa!!!
All: O_o *back away from the Professor*
Jean: That's it! Fifteen more demerits! And you also have to walk the grass and mow the dogs... seven times each hour.
Prof. Xavier: What?! That's ridiculous!
Kitty: Yeah! Cause like, we don't have any dogs! There's like, just Kurt.
Kurt: Yah, dere's just... Hey! *glare*
Jean: All right, then! He'll mow the Kurt seven times each hour! Ha! Teach you to call me pathetic!
Kurt: Yah, you can mow de Kurt... *pauses* Hey!
Evan: *to no one imparticular* Can I throw my spykes at Jean?
Rogue: Please.. please do!
Evan: *shrugs* Okay! *throws some spykes at Jean*
Jean: Ahhhhh!!! *dies*
All: Yay!
Jeans: *comes back to life* Whew, that was close!
All: Awww...
Jean: And you! *glares at Evan*
Evan: O_o Uh-oh...
Jean: 200 demerits! And you're grounded for... forever!
Evan: What?! O_O What for?!
Jean: For attempting to kill me, duh!
Evan: Oh yeah, that...
Kitty: That's like, a stupid like, reason to ground him!
Jean: *glare* Do you want demerits too?
Kitty: Eep... Like, sorry Jean! *hides behind the Professor's wheelchair*
Suddenly and without warning, Professor Xavier stands from his wheelchair, the pamplets falling from his lap.
Prof. Xavier: That's enough! Everyone just be quiet! *looks down, noticing he dropped the pamplets* Opps...
Bobby: Whoa! Professor! You're standing!
Kitty: Like wow! He really is!
Prof. Xavier: *stares at them all* Of course I am! How do you think I use the bathro-
Scott: Professor! Please, do not finish that sentence...
Prof. Xavier: *sighs* Fine... *mumbles* Bathroom...
Scott: What did you say, Professor?
Prof. Xavier: Huh? Oh... uhh... nothing! I said nothing at all! And you don't have to keep calling me 'Professor' you know...
Scott: Okay, Professor.
Prof. Xavier: -_-' You said it again!
Scott: Opps, sorry Professor...
Prof. Xavier: Argh, I give up! *looks around* Where are Logan and Storm? And Beast? Can't forget him...
Bobby: *stares* Uhhh... Professor? Can't you just use your power to find out where they are?
Prof. Xavier: *wasn't listening* I know! I'll use my power to find out where they are! Duh, Xavier! *smacks forehead* Ouch..
Bobby: *gapes* But...I...But...I...But...I...But...I... I just said that!
Prof. Xavier: *uses his mind and calls out to the three he mentioned before* Get your mutant butts in here! Now! *pauses* We're in the Rec Room... So hurry it up! *pauses again* And bring me twenty sandwiches while you're at it, I'm starved!
~~In another part of the Mansion...~~
Storm: *frowns* Charles certainly is bossy today... Did you get the mental commands too?
Logan: *grunts* Yeah, I did. Xavier can fix his own sandwiches, I'm not his maid...
Suddenly, Xavier's voice fills his mind: "Bring me those sandwiches or I'll... make you think you're a seven-year-old girl who's favorite color is... pink!"
Logan: *gasp, eyes widen* He wouldn't dare!
Xavier's voice again: "I would too! Mwaahhahahhahahaaa!!!" A pause... "So hurry it up! And remember, don't use any products containing bread!"
Logan: *slowly turns to look at Storm* He wants his sandwiches... Without bread... *pauses* How can I make a freakin' sandwich without using bread?!?! It's not possible!
Storm: Logan, calm down! I'm sure we can figure something out...
Beast: *busy typing away at a computer* You could always use tored...
Logan: What... in the world... is tored?
Beast: *eyes glued to the screen before him* It's like bread, only made completely and entirely with tofu.
Storm: See, I told you we could figure something out...
Logan: Tofu? TOFU?! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Logan runs out of the room, smashing through a wall, arms flailing about. Having smashed through a wall to the outside, he simply keeps on running, while screaming his head off.
Beast: *still not looking up* What's wrong with him?
Storm: Oh dear, I forgot all about his fear of tofu...
Beast: *blinks, finally looking up and over at Storm* He's afraid of tofu? *laughs hysterically* W-w-w-why?
Storm: *frowns* It's nothing to laugh about. It just so happens to be quite a tragic stooooorrrrryyyyy...
-----------
The Stoooooryyyy...
Storm, telling the stoooorryyy: "It all started when Logan was assigned to do the grocery shopping..."
Logan: *grumbling* Can't believe... making ME do the shopping... little brats... always eating...
Storm: "Of course, Logan being the stubborn one he was... and still is, complained the whole time..."
Logan: Selfish bratty brats... can't buy own food... should get jobs... I should get my own place... and a job...
Storm: "Yet despite the numerous amount of complaining he did, the food on the list was slowly placed into his shopping cart... with yet further complaints..."
Logan: Pop tarts? What kind of food is that? It's not, that's what... Bah, better get them or the brats'll just whine... Stupid brats... Oooh.. Cheerios!
Storm: "Poor Logan... he didn't know what was to come... As he grabbed a box of his beloved Cheerios, a can of tofu placed directly in front of the box slid forward..."
Logan: It's the last box, too! And there's even a picture of a can of tofu on it! Hmmm... that's strange... Wha? OWWW!!!
Storm: *sniffling* "Yes, that's right... The can of tofu... Fell... onto Logan's... big toe!" *bursts into tears*
Logan: My big toe! Ahhhhh!!! Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!!!!!
Storm: "After... grabbing his... hurt... toe... and hopping up and down... he... saw the can..."
Logan: That can of tofu was real! And it attacked me!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Storm: "He ran screaming from the store... and was never the same after that tragic accident..."
End of Stooooorryyy....
-----------
Storm: The... the end... *dabs her eyes with a handkerchief*
Beast stares blankly at Storm for a full three seconds, before bursting into a fit of laughter.
Beast: A c-c-c-can of to-to-tofu f-f-fell on his... BIG TOE?! Ahahhahhahahaaa!!!
Storm: *stops dabbing her eyes and frowns at him* It's not funny, Hank!
Beast: *rolls around on the floor, still laughing*
Storm: *eyes narrow* Fine then... you asked for it!
Storm's eyes go completely white, as the sound of thunder fills the room. Suddenly, through the hole in the wall that Logan made, a bolt of lightning streaks in and strikes Beast.
Beast: *is now charred and laying still* Ow... Okay Storm, sorry...
Storm: *everything goes back to...err...how it was* Good... And I'm sorry too... *turns and heads towards the door* Oh, and be sure to make Charles those sandwiches, all right? *leaves the room*
Beast: *cough* No *cough* problem...
~~Back at the Rec Room...~~
Storm walks into the room, stopping short when she sees all the students running laps, in their underwear, while the Professor blew a loud whistle...
Storm: Dear God! What is going on in here? *shivers* It's cold in here!
Prof. Xavier: *turns around* It's about time you showed up. I'm punishing these stupid chickens... I mean children... *blows whistle* Did I say you could stop?! Huh, huh?!
Storm: *winces* Punishment? But what for, Charles? And surely this isn't the type of punishment the students should be given...
Prof. Xavier: Well, because they're stupid, that's why. And of course it is!
Storm: *blinks* Umm, I beg your pardon? *stares* Oh my! Charles, you're standing!
Prof. Xavier: I said they're stupid. They didn't know that the Earth was flat, before it turned into a circle. *snorts* And apparently you're stupid too, if you just now noticed I'm not in that ghastly chair with wheels... That's it, punishment time for you! Off with your clothes!
Storm: O_o What?! But... but Charles! This is insane! What is wrong with you? And I'm not taking my clothes off!
Prof. Xavier: *sighs* Not ALL of them, stupid... You can leave your underthings on. Now, step to it! I haven't got all day!
Storm: *sighs heavily* Fiiine... *lifts the hem of her shirt, before spinning around and bolting out the door*
Prof. Xavier: Hey! Get back here! *chases*
Students: *stop running, dropping to the floor, exhausted*
Scott: Quick, Jean, the door! Shut it before he comes back!
Jean: *shakes head* Nope... I won't do it.
Rogue: Stupid prep... *leaps up* Ah'll do it! *runs to the door and slams it shut, before locking it* Com' on, let's slide the couch ova' here...
Evan: Nah, we'll be fine...
Bobby: Yeah, Evan's right, we'll be fine... Besides, we'd never be able to move it anyhow...
Rogue: *raises brow* Oh? An' wat makes yeh say that?
Bobby: *flipping through a Cosmo mag that happened to be lying around* Oh well, maybe it had something to do with the hundred pounds of gold bars hidden under the cushions...
Rogue: *snorts* Yah right... Yeh think I'm really that dum'?
Bobby: You really want me to answer that?
Rogue: Grrr... why yeh little... *lunges*
Bobby: Eep! O_O
Kitty: Oh wow! Like, there really is gold in here! *has lifted the couch cushions*
Rogue: Whoa... really? *drops Bobby and walks over to the couch* Oh...mah...God...
Jean: *leaps up* That's it, I can't take it any longer! *points* You, Rogue, have 30 demerits for locking the Professor out. *points* You, Bobby, have 30 demerits for looking through that Cosmo magazine. *points* And you, Kitty, have 60 demerits for removing the cushions from the couch so carelessly and for finding gold that isn't yours.
Rogue: What the hell?! O' course Ah locked him out! Tha Prof's goin' mad!
Bobby: And what does me looking at a magazine have anything to do with it?
Jean: *to Rogue* That's still no excuse to lock him out. *to Bobby* Because that's my magazine! *snatches it away*
Kitty: *is too busy staring at the gold bars to notice she was given demerits*
Suddenly, the door crashes open, Professor Xavier walking in and dragging Storm with him. Xavier shoves her down onto the floor, before looking at the students.
Prof. Xavier: Right, I almost forgot to tell you all! *pauses, grinning widely* We're going to London!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(( That's all of chapter one! ^_^ Sorry it was so long, lol. But once I started writing... it was hard to stop, hehe. Right, anywho... the next chapter will be centered at Hogwarts, with the Harry Potter gang, but both groups'll meet up soon. Please review! And read some of my other stories if you can. Thankies, byes for now :D ))
*pauses* Wait... Why do we always say 'filthy' rich? Don't rich people take baths? O_o I mean, it's not like they can't afford it... Hmmm.. Oh well!
Right, one more thing... in case you're deprived and have never watched the cartoon before, lemme just mention that the characters in this story are really much saner on the show. Quite boring really... :P Well, enjoy de first chapter! ^_^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Planning, Demerits, and Evil Professors
In the Rec Room, which is located in the Xavier Institute for Frea- err, 'Gifted Youngters,' Professor Xavier sits in his wheelchair, a bunch of pamplets in his lap.
Prof. Xavier: Come come, X-Freaks... I mean, X-MEN! Gather 'round!
Kitty: Professor! I'm like, not a man! Or a freak!
Prof. Xavier: *sighs, mumbling* I better be getting paid overtime for this...
Scott: What was that, Professor?
Prof. Xavier: Oh, nothing at all! *evil laughter* *clears throat* All right, X-BOYS and X-GIRLS, gather 'round!
All the X-Frea- I mean, X-BOYS and X-GIRLS move to stand in a line before the Professor.
Prof. Xavier: Around! A-round! Not in front, you ido- um, I mean... you lovable students you! *gags when no one's looking*
The X-men... well, X-kids, finally understand and gather around the Professor in a square.
Prof. Xavier: -_-' Gah... *sighs* Close enough... *mumbles* Idiots...
Jean: That wasn't a very nice thing to think... say... You big meanie! Fifteen demerits! And you have to clean the food every night for a month, and cook the X-jet 20 times a day... also for a month.
All: O_o
Prof. Xavier: *whines* But Jeeeeannn... *pauses* Hey! I don't have to listen to you! You're merely a pathetic student! I'm the powerful... mutant called Xavier! Mwahahaahhahaahahaa!!!
All: O_o *back away from the Professor*
Jean: That's it! Fifteen more demerits! And you also have to walk the grass and mow the dogs... seven times each hour.
Prof. Xavier: What?! That's ridiculous!
Kitty: Yeah! Cause like, we don't have any dogs! There's like, just Kurt.
Kurt: Yah, dere's just... Hey! *glare*
Jean: All right, then! He'll mow the Kurt seven times each hour! Ha! Teach you to call me pathetic!
Kurt: Yah, you can mow de Kurt... *pauses* Hey!
Evan: *to no one imparticular* Can I throw my spykes at Jean?
Rogue: Please.. please do!
Evan: *shrugs* Okay! *throws some spykes at Jean*
Jean: Ahhhhh!!! *dies*
All: Yay!
Jeans: *comes back to life* Whew, that was close!
All: Awww...
Jean: And you! *glares at Evan*
Evan: O_o Uh-oh...
Jean: 200 demerits! And you're grounded for... forever!
Evan: What?! O_O What for?!
Jean: For attempting to kill me, duh!
Evan: Oh yeah, that...
Kitty: That's like, a stupid like, reason to ground him!
Jean: *glare* Do you want demerits too?
Kitty: Eep... Like, sorry Jean! *hides behind the Professor's wheelchair*
Suddenly and without warning, Professor Xavier stands from his wheelchair, the pamplets falling from his lap.
Prof. Xavier: That's enough! Everyone just be quiet! *looks down, noticing he dropped the pamplets* Opps...
Bobby: Whoa! Professor! You're standing!
Kitty: Like wow! He really is!
Prof. Xavier: *stares at them all* Of course I am! How do you think I use the bathro-
Scott: Professor! Please, do not finish that sentence...
Prof. Xavier: *sighs* Fine... *mumbles* Bathroom...
Scott: What did you say, Professor?
Prof. Xavier: Huh? Oh... uhh... nothing! I said nothing at all! And you don't have to keep calling me 'Professor' you know...
Scott: Okay, Professor.
Prof. Xavier: -_-' You said it again!
Scott: Opps, sorry Professor...
Prof. Xavier: Argh, I give up! *looks around* Where are Logan and Storm? And Beast? Can't forget him...
Bobby: *stares* Uhhh... Professor? Can't you just use your power to find out where they are?
Prof. Xavier: *wasn't listening* I know! I'll use my power to find out where they are! Duh, Xavier! *smacks forehead* Ouch..
Bobby: *gapes* But...I...But...I...But...I...But...I... I just said that!
Prof. Xavier: *uses his mind and calls out to the three he mentioned before* Get your mutant butts in here! Now! *pauses* We're in the Rec Room... So hurry it up! *pauses again* And bring me twenty sandwiches while you're at it, I'm starved!
~~In another part of the Mansion...~~
Storm: *frowns* Charles certainly is bossy today... Did you get the mental commands too?
Logan: *grunts* Yeah, I did. Xavier can fix his own sandwiches, I'm not his maid...
Suddenly, Xavier's voice fills his mind: "Bring me those sandwiches or I'll... make you think you're a seven-year-old girl who's favorite color is... pink!"
Logan: *gasp, eyes widen* He wouldn't dare!
Xavier's voice again: "I would too! Mwaahhahahhahahaaa!!!" A pause... "So hurry it up! And remember, don't use any products containing bread!"
Logan: *slowly turns to look at Storm* He wants his sandwiches... Without bread... *pauses* How can I make a freakin' sandwich without using bread?!?! It's not possible!
Storm: Logan, calm down! I'm sure we can figure something out...
Beast: *busy typing away at a computer* You could always use tored...
Logan: What... in the world... is tored?
Beast: *eyes glued to the screen before him* It's like bread, only made completely and entirely with tofu.
Storm: See, I told you we could figure something out...
Logan: Tofu? TOFU?! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Logan runs out of the room, smashing through a wall, arms flailing about. Having smashed through a wall to the outside, he simply keeps on running, while screaming his head off.
Beast: *still not looking up* What's wrong with him?
Storm: Oh dear, I forgot all about his fear of tofu...
Beast: *blinks, finally looking up and over at Storm* He's afraid of tofu? *laughs hysterically* W-w-w-why?
Storm: *frowns* It's nothing to laugh about. It just so happens to be quite a tragic stooooorrrrryyyyy...
-----------
The Stoooooryyyy...
Storm, telling the stoooorryyy: "It all started when Logan was assigned to do the grocery shopping..."
Logan: *grumbling* Can't believe... making ME do the shopping... little brats... always eating...
Storm: "Of course, Logan being the stubborn one he was... and still is, complained the whole time..."
Logan: Selfish bratty brats... can't buy own food... should get jobs... I should get my own place... and a job...
Storm: "Yet despite the numerous amount of complaining he did, the food on the list was slowly placed into his shopping cart... with yet further complaints..."
Logan: Pop tarts? What kind of food is that? It's not, that's what... Bah, better get them or the brats'll just whine... Stupid brats... Oooh.. Cheerios!
Storm: "Poor Logan... he didn't know what was to come... As he grabbed a box of his beloved Cheerios, a can of tofu placed directly in front of the box slid forward..."
Logan: It's the last box, too! And there's even a picture of a can of tofu on it! Hmmm... that's strange... Wha? OWWW!!!
Storm: *sniffling* "Yes, that's right... The can of tofu... Fell... onto Logan's... big toe!" *bursts into tears*
Logan: My big toe! Ahhhhh!!! Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!!!!!
Storm: "After... grabbing his... hurt... toe... and hopping up and down... he... saw the can..."
Logan: That can of tofu was real! And it attacked me!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Storm: "He ran screaming from the store... and was never the same after that tragic accident..."
End of Stooooorryyy....
-----------
Storm: The... the end... *dabs her eyes with a handkerchief*
Beast stares blankly at Storm for a full three seconds, before bursting into a fit of laughter.
Beast: A c-c-c-can of to-to-tofu f-f-fell on his... BIG TOE?! Ahahhahhahahaaa!!!
Storm: *stops dabbing her eyes and frowns at him* It's not funny, Hank!
Beast: *rolls around on the floor, still laughing*
Storm: *eyes narrow* Fine then... you asked for it!
Storm's eyes go completely white, as the sound of thunder fills the room. Suddenly, through the hole in the wall that Logan made, a bolt of lightning streaks in and strikes Beast.
Beast: *is now charred and laying still* Ow... Okay Storm, sorry...
Storm: *everything goes back to...err...how it was* Good... And I'm sorry too... *turns and heads towards the door* Oh, and be sure to make Charles those sandwiches, all right? *leaves the room*
Beast: *cough* No *cough* problem...
~~Back at the Rec Room...~~
Storm walks into the room, stopping short when she sees all the students running laps, in their underwear, while the Professor blew a loud whistle...
Storm: Dear God! What is going on in here? *shivers* It's cold in here!
Prof. Xavier: *turns around* It's about time you showed up. I'm punishing these stupid chickens... I mean children... *blows whistle* Did I say you could stop?! Huh, huh?!
Storm: *winces* Punishment? But what for, Charles? And surely this isn't the type of punishment the students should be given...
Prof. Xavier: Well, because they're stupid, that's why. And of course it is!
Storm: *blinks* Umm, I beg your pardon? *stares* Oh my! Charles, you're standing!
Prof. Xavier: I said they're stupid. They didn't know that the Earth was flat, before it turned into a circle. *snorts* And apparently you're stupid too, if you just now noticed I'm not in that ghastly chair with wheels... That's it, punishment time for you! Off with your clothes!
Storm: O_o What?! But... but Charles! This is insane! What is wrong with you? And I'm not taking my clothes off!
Prof. Xavier: *sighs* Not ALL of them, stupid... You can leave your underthings on. Now, step to it! I haven't got all day!
Storm: *sighs heavily* Fiiine... *lifts the hem of her shirt, before spinning around and bolting out the door*
Prof. Xavier: Hey! Get back here! *chases*
Students: *stop running, dropping to the floor, exhausted*
Scott: Quick, Jean, the door! Shut it before he comes back!
Jean: *shakes head* Nope... I won't do it.
Rogue: Stupid prep... *leaps up* Ah'll do it! *runs to the door and slams it shut, before locking it* Com' on, let's slide the couch ova' here...
Evan: Nah, we'll be fine...
Bobby: Yeah, Evan's right, we'll be fine... Besides, we'd never be able to move it anyhow...
Rogue: *raises brow* Oh? An' wat makes yeh say that?
Bobby: *flipping through a Cosmo mag that happened to be lying around* Oh well, maybe it had something to do with the hundred pounds of gold bars hidden under the cushions...
Rogue: *snorts* Yah right... Yeh think I'm really that dum'?
Bobby: You really want me to answer that?
Rogue: Grrr... why yeh little... *lunges*
Bobby: Eep! O_O
Kitty: Oh wow! Like, there really is gold in here! *has lifted the couch cushions*
Rogue: Whoa... really? *drops Bobby and walks over to the couch* Oh...mah...God...
Jean: *leaps up* That's it, I can't take it any longer! *points* You, Rogue, have 30 demerits for locking the Professor out. *points* You, Bobby, have 30 demerits for looking through that Cosmo magazine. *points* And you, Kitty, have 60 demerits for removing the cushions from the couch so carelessly and for finding gold that isn't yours.
Rogue: What the hell?! O' course Ah locked him out! Tha Prof's goin' mad!
Bobby: And what does me looking at a magazine have anything to do with it?
Jean: *to Rogue* That's still no excuse to lock him out. *to Bobby* Because that's my magazine! *snatches it away*
Kitty: *is too busy staring at the gold bars to notice she was given demerits*
Suddenly, the door crashes open, Professor Xavier walking in and dragging Storm with him. Xavier shoves her down onto the floor, before looking at the students.
Prof. Xavier: Right, I almost forgot to tell you all! *pauses, grinning widely* We're going to London!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(( That's all of chapter one! ^_^ Sorry it was so long, lol. But once I started writing... it was hard to stop, hehe. Right, anywho... the next chapter will be centered at Hogwarts, with the Harry Potter gang, but both groups'll meet up soon. Please review! And read some of my other stories if you can. Thankies, byes for now :D ))