A/N: Okay guys, this sucks ass. I literally just wrote it on the spur of the moment with no planning and no revision. It will get better once I edit, I promise. But what do you think? I really only like the end part. And I orignally wanted it to be fluff but it ended up deep. Awkies... so review!
"She loved him because he was the reason why."
― Nanci Kincaid, Verbena
James Potter. A name that had been so familiar to her all through her years, a boy who she had tried so hard to hate, tried harder than she had tried at anything. Sometimes she wondered, why? Why had she tried so hard? She answered every question on every piece of homework she had ever had, but this was one question she avoided answering. That is, until the day the answer was presented to her, and she could not refuse to accept it.
The day started, as all extraordinary days did, simply.
"Lily, get your arse out of bed!" said Mary, very loudly and very forcefully. "Don't miss breakfast again, we know how well that turned out last time."
Mary was Lily's closest friend, almost like a mother, who knew exactly what Lily should do. As much as she pretended to get annoyed, she knew she would never get anything done without her.
"Yeah, I am." said Lily sleepily. "If only you had a snooze button. That would make my life a lot easier."
"Lily… we have like ten minutes until Potions." Said Marlene. "Just hurry up! I want food!"
Lily made her way out of her bed, zombie-like, grabbed the robe Mary had held out to her, and headed down the stairs, without even looking in the mirror.
"Could you have at least brushed your hair?" asked Mary, in an annoyed tone, but with a slight smile on her face.
"I mean, I could have." She said with a smirk. "But it would have taken so much time."
She flattened it out a little with her hand, and then checked it out in the polished fireplace in the common room they were passing. "It looks fine to me!"
"Oh, you are the limit!" said Mary, good-humoredly.
The three girls walked, with busy chatter, all the way down to the great hall. When they reached it, there seemed to be a large commotion at the Gryffindor table.
"Hey guys, what is the date?" asked Mary suspiciously.
"March 27th" said Marlene, unconcerned.
"Oh man." Said Mary.
This date stirred something in Lily, because she knew who she associated with this day.
"Potter's birthday!" she said, with something of a subconscious smile on her face. She quickly let it drop, hoping her friends wouldn't notice. No such luck.
"Lily?" said Marlene, with a smile on her face. "Did you just smile at something that has to do with Potter?"
"No. Most definetly not. I don't know what you are talking about." She said, trying to look innocent.
"C'mon." said Mary. "We aren't thick. We know you are mad about him, you don't need to tell us."
Lily frowned, she always denied this, but really, she never really could set straight how she felt about him. Whatever it is it was strong. She was just glad her friends couldn't see what she dreamed about when nobody was looking…..
No! She couldn't think like this. She couldn't let six years of pure Potter hate go to waste. Even if Potter was getting extremely, infuriatingly cute, with his neat unruly hair, and tanned shoulders from all the time spent on the Quiddach pitch, even though spring had barely begun…. No! What was she doing?
"You know I hate him, don't be daft!"
But Marlene looked at Mary, and Mary looked back at her. There was no longer any angry fervor in her voice. It sounded as if this line was being said by a robot, someone determined not feel what was inevitable. They were girls, they could tell Lily's feelings, better than she could. When they sat down at the Gryffindor table, they both noticed the flick of Lily's eyes towards where James was sitting with his crew a couple seats down. As hard as she was trying not to, Lily couldn't help asking herself the question. How did she really feel about James Potter?
The rest of the day was simple as well, there was not another mention of James by Marlene or Mary, and Lily sure as hell didn't bring it up. But it was James Potter's birthday, and when the biggest deal in school has a special day, you can't forget it. Everyone was stopping him in the hallways, congratulating him on coming of age. When in Transfiguration, Cassie, a very pretty Ravenclaw, wished him a Happy Birthday in a very flirtatious manner, Lily couldn't help feeling a twinge of jealousy. Not jealousy, she said to herself, Cassie was a very nice girl. James should ask her out, maybe he would stop pestering her then. But she couldn't really convince herself that this was good. She couldn't stop her desires to go hex Cassie into tomorrow.
Now, you are reading this story for the truly remarkable part of the day. You don't care about the simpleness of everything, how ordinary the day really was. But I should tell you, Lily couldn't stop thinking about one boy. There is always a boy.
And James, like always, couldn't stop thinking of her.
James was standing on his favorite spot in the whole castle, on the large bridge that connected part of the castle to the grounds. From here, he could watch the sunset over the mountains, and take a break from his life.
Sirius was with him, he could never understand that when James came here, he wanted to be alone. As much as he loved him, Alone was just not a word in Sirius' dictionary, and James sincerely wished it was.
"So, had a pretty fine birthday didn't you, Prongs?"
"Yeah. It was dandy." It really had been, but there was one person who hadn't wished him a Happy Birthday. This bothered him more than it ought to have.
"Well, I have an, for lack of a better word appointment, with a certain seventh year girl tonight." Said Sirius. "Would you mind it an awful lot if I went? Before your party, of course."
"No!" said James, a little too enthusiastically. "Go!"
"If you're sure, Prongs!" Sirius said. "But make sure you are up in the common room at ten, that's when the best part of your birthday begins."
James wasn't sure about that, but he bid farewell to his friend, and went back to looking across the grounds in peace.
Lily happened to be in the library, and was planning on getting a couple good books and bringing them out on the grounds to read while the sun went down. The air was nice tonight, even though in March it ought to be cold. She had collected her books, and went off towards the bridge.
And who happened to be there, but James. He was wearing a loose fitting shirt, and you could see all the best aspects of the boy. His collar bone, his arms, even his smile, so different from the "I'm sexy and going to seduce you" one he tried on her way too often. She felt herself melt a little, wondering why she was going to all the effort to forget about him when she could just give in.
James had decided to go back inside, when he heard footsteps coming towards him. He turned around, and was caught off balance by the beautiful form of his Lily, standing with the light illuminating her. It took him a couple seconds to get back into cool-James mood, that he missed something he would never have otherwise have missed. Lily was blushing.
"So Evens, to cool to wish me a Happy Birthday?" he said, trying to regain his dignity. "If I remember correctly, I got you a present on your birthday. I think I deserve the same."
"Really?" said Lily, "You think so?" with a half flirtatious smile on her lips. There were many things on her mind, first of which was what the hell was she doing flirting with James Potter, but one of them, very high on list was "Why?" Why should she not have a little fun? All the hormones in her body were telling her that this time, she should not resist his advances.
"I know so." He said with a smile. "Pretty please? A kiss would be enough."
"I should turn to you down. But it's hard you know, when you are so damn attractive."
James tried not to swoon at this, what had gotten into Lily tonight.
"I know" he said. "Aren't I? But you've never seen the need to point this fact out until tonight."
"Maybe," she said, "I decided to stop putting off some questions."
"Like what questions?" he asked.
"Why." She said. "Why I spent so much time trying to hate you."
"And what was your answer to that question?" James asked.
"Because I was scared." Lily said. "Of feeling."
James looked at her, with a strange little smile on his face. Could Lily possibly be leaning towards him at last, after all these years of longing?
"May I ask you a question?" James asked.
Lily paused for a while, because she knew if she allowed him to, there would be no going back.
"You may." She said finally, preparing herself for whatever was coming.
And suddenly, James had leaned into her and pressed his lips to hers. She was filled was a weird excitement, that filled every atom of her body and kept her wanting more. Her books dropped to the floor, and her arms went around his neck. James had his hands in her hair, pressing himself towards her. She didn't stop him. After a minute, James pulled back, with Lily's arms still around his neck.
"So?" he said in a whisper, that sent shivers down her being.
"I don't exactly know what the question was, but whatever it was, the answer it yes. Because after that, I can never say no to anything you say again."
And then he kissed her one more time, and this time she was ready. And this kiss was filled with so much yes after so many years of no, and James was unable to think as he held the girl he had yearned for for so long, anything but yes.