Fushigi Yuugi Outtakes
Disclaimer: I had a dream. I dreamed that I owned Fushigi Yuugi. I woke up and found that the dream was just a dream. Much sadness.
Warning: The author is a fifteen-almost-sixteen-year-old Chinese gal living in the U.S. with many obsessions [including, naturally, Fushigi Yuugi and an oh-so-lovely purple-haired seishi named Nuriko], bad Japanese [hey, her second language is English and third is Spanish, don't blame her!], the maturity level of a six-year-old [she blames it on her brother, who is of said age and is evidently affecting her mentality], and far too much caffeine and free time at hand [bad combinations at any age, actually]. These are the [horrific] results. She also likes to play with brackets [see evidence above]. ^_^. Chu! Read and enjoy! Review if you feel an overwhelming urge to not be chased by Mei-chan carrying a large aluminum bat [which makes a cameo appearance later on].
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Products of an Overcaffeinated Imagination
Part 1
Tamahome: *clasps Nuriko's hands in his* Aishiteru.
Miaka and Nuriko: NANI?!
Tamahome: *blinks* Ah, gomen nasai. Wrong person. Aishiteru, Miaka.
Nuriko: *nods fervently* *backs away from Tamahome* Arigatou, arigatou Suzaku!
Tasuki: *snickers* He ain't imperial enough fer you, eh?
Nuriko: *punches him into the wall*
Tasuki: *moans* *glares* REKKA SHINEN!!
Nuriko: *ducks*
Tamahome: *fried*
Chichiri: *poof* *confused frown* Ah…what's going on, no da? Daijobou, Tamahome?
Miaka: Iie. *collapses*
Chichiri: I was talking to Tamahome, no da.
Tamahome: *miraculously recovered* Miaka!
Nuriko: *dismissively* Ne, she probably just got a stomachache from eating so much at dinner. What does Hotohori see in that glutton anyway? *pouts*
Miaka: Nuri-chan…suki de!
Tamahome and Nuriko: NANI?!
Chichiri: *sighs*
Tasuki: What th' fuck? This sounds too fuckin' familiar…
Miaka: AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Just kidding.
Nuriko: *twitches*
Tamahome: Don't even think about it, Nuriko.
Nuriko: *turns and bashes Tasuki into the wall*
Tasuki: *in pain*
Miaka: o.O Oh, gomen ne Gen-chan! … *snickers*
Tasuki: *lifts head* *mutters curses* REKKA SHINEN!!
All but Chichiri: *burned to a crisp*
Chichiri: *protected* *sighs* Damn redheads. Na no da.
Part 2
Mei-chan: *blinks* *picks up tessen*
Tasuki: *turns around* HEY! What th' fuck? That's my—
Mei: *runs*
Tasuki: Gimme back my tessen, ya damn THEIF!!
Mei: Look who's talkin'.
Tasuki: Yeah, well, at least I don't talk to the voices in my fuckin' HEAD.
Mei: *watery eyes* Ta—Tasuki… WAH!!
Tasuki: Aw dammit. C'mon…I was jus' jokin'… Stop that. Fuck. Alright, dammit, you can keep the fuckin' tessen for awhile. Jus' give it back eventually, ya hear?
Mei: o.O REALLY?! *glomps Tasuki* You're the BEEEEESSSSTT!!
Tasuki: *sweatdrop*
Mei: REKKA SHINEN!!
Tasuki: *fried* Goddammit.
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Consequences of Being Deprived of Fushigi Yuugi
Part 1
Mei: AAAA!!! Ben has my last Fushigi Yuugi OAV tape!! *pursues Ben with a large aluminum bat and proceeds to bash him repeatedly over the head with it* I WANT MY OAV TAPE BACK!! *shrieks with FY-obsession-induced deprivation*
All: AHHH!! There is no cure! *runs away and hides*
Mei: *counts to ten* Ready or not, here I come!
All: *face faults*
Part 2
Mei: I was thinking…
Nuriko: Ne, did it hurt?
Mei: Very funny. Anyway, I was thinking…
Tasuki: Well alert the fuckin' media.
Hotohori: Ne?
Chiriko: Media. Noun. Definition: A means of mass communication, such as newpapers, magazines, radio, or television. And its journalists.
Mei: EXCUSE ME!! Ahem.
All: *looks*
Mei: Arigatou. As I was saying…I was THINKING—
Chiriko: And I applaud you for it.
Mei: *grits teeth* THANK you, Chiriko. Means the world. Right. So. I was THINKING about ways to make some money this summer and--
Tamahome: *poof* Did someone mention money?
Mitsukake: Hai. Mei-sama did.
Tamahome: *dollar/yen signs light his eyes* Gimme, gimme, gimme!!
Mei: *sweetly* Gen-chan…do me a favor?
Tasuki: *grins evilly*
Nuriko: Aiya! *ducks*
Tasuki: REKKA SHINEN!!
Mei: I take so much joy in hearing him say that…
Tasuki: *smirks* Damn fuckin' straight.
Chichiri: *sigh* Now Hotohori-sama will have to have to have the room cleaned up, no da. Be more considerate, Tasuki, onegai, na no da.
Mei: S'ok. *waves arms expansively* *POOF* All is well. *room is clean, table is set, lots of steaming food appears, oh, and burns are healed*
All: O.O
Miaka: FOOOOOOOOOD!!
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owari