A prequel to the story, Kidnappings in the Early Evening by Sky. Because it's a fun little noir universe!

2 chapters total.

The building was run-down, plagued by crawling vermin, with the front door's locks having rusted right off long ago. It was in such shambles that the cost to rebuild it again was not worth the price it was for buying it in the first place. Neither dedication nor vision could get it to the decent habitation it once was.

"SANS. THIS IS PERFECT."

Both skeletons stared up at the dilapidated shutters, the cracked glass, the cheap paint that peeled off the building's sides. It was located at a prime part of town… of the mostly abandoned part of town. Just twenty blocks away from the nearest comedy club and fifty blocks away from the all-night fries and burgs' joint which had only burned down five times before. Located between these two locations though were some train stations where citizens came and went. All in all, it was the best that the Great Detective Papyrus hoped for when starting out his new crime-solving, puzzle-inducing career. And it was!

Papyrus had his hands on his hips, taking in the sight proudly. Sans was next to him, hands deep in the pockets of his blue jacket.

"heh, told ya, bro."

Papyrus turned to his shorter brother with a frown. "WHILE I AM GRATEFUL FOR YOU FOR FINDING MY OFFICE OF HEADQUARTERS, I REALLY DO WISH YOU COULD PUT SOME THOUGHT INTO YOUR OUTFIT AT LEAST."

Sans looked entirely too pleased, but his shrug held nothing short of love for his sibling. "no worries, bro. i can just ride on your coattails for that instead." He nudged Papyrus' arm. "eh?"

Papryus, who was wearing a most fitting trench coat for his new profession (though with no coattails), complete with a fedora cap, only frowned even more. "UGH. YOU ARE SIMPLY THE WORST, SANS." Then he smiled again. "BUT YOU ARE ALSO SIMPLY THE BEST FOR GETTING ME THIS BUILDING TO START MY ILLUSTRIOUS DETECTIVE AGENCY. HOW DID YOU DO THAT ANYWAY?"

"i just made a few calls." Sans' voice was so chill, he seemed ready to fall asleep on his feet. "told 'em this was for the coolest bro around."

"AWW."

"and that he was going to be the next sherlock bones."

"OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH."

One of the hanging window shutters broke off its last hinge, clattering to the ground before them. The dust it kicked up made Papyrus cough a little bit. Sans didn't even react at all.

"just needs a few perks here and there. then it'll finally meet safety standards."

"AH YES. A GOOD PROJECT FOR THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS. THE CASE OF…" He flicked the brim of his hat, then pointed a skeletal finger at his new (old?) office building. "THE ABANDONED BUILDING MAKEOVER. WHICH I WILL SOLVE."

Sans gave a little clap with his bony palms, sounding like castanets. "rootin for ya."

The skeletal finger swerved to Sans. "AND YOU WILL HELP ME. IT'LL BE GOOD WORK, AND THEN YOU WILL SEE WHY YOU SHOULD JOIN ME AS MY UP-AND-COMING CRIME-SOLVEING PARTNER."

"aw, gee, i'd love to, bro." He turned to the side, slippers shuffling across the dirty sidewalk. "but i got a date with some cards i don't wanna miss-"

"NO MORE SWINDLING." Papyrus grabbed Sans by the hem of his hood, barely needing to stretch out far due to his long, gangly arms. "AND NO THRIFTING, NO DOUBLE-DEALING, NO SCAMMING, NO RACKETEERING OR ANY OTHER CLOSELY RELATED ACTIVITY."

Sans, still with his smile, looked a little off-put. "hey, told ya i was past that."

"AND NO BLACKMAILING." Papyrus did his very best to look stern. "AND/OR EXTORTION."

"come on, paps-"

"AND NO VAGUELY THREATENING PEOPLE EITHER. THAT ONE ESPECIALLY."

"i only did that once."

"TO A HUMAN CHILD."

"they were beating up monster kid."

"BUT YOU MUST NEGOTIATE FIRST AND FOREMOST. VIOLENCE IS A VERY VIOLENT THING. WHICH IS WHY THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS WILL DO HIS VERY BEST TO KEEP THIS CITY CLEAN OF SUCH TERRIBLE, VIOLENT THINGS."

Sans, hanging from his jacket still, gazed at his taller, cooler brother with pride. "heh, i know you will."

"AND I WILL ALSO CHANGE YOU FROM YOUR STREET SWINDLING WAYS." He hefted Sans onto his shoulder like a fat sack of potatoes, then marched into the front door, which just collapsed at the first mere turn of the knob. "I'LL START WITH THE DUSTING AND YOU START WITH THE WINDOW CLEANING."

Sans closed his eyes as he was carried, giving a lazy thumbs-up. "you got it."

"NYEH HEH HEH! WITH YOUR HELP, BROTHER, WE WILL BE DONE FIXING UP THIS PLACE IN NO TIME AT ALL."

Sans did not help with the clean-up. In fact, Sans had started washing one-window, called it a day, and then fell asleep with his skull pressed against the glass. His snores reverberated against the window, drool coming out the side of his mouth.

Papyrus didn't wake him, however. He was too busy, getting into 'the zone' as he scrubbed clean the floor, the walls, the ceiling, and the brownstone bricks outside of the building. And though he may have very nearly snapped his vertebrae several times, nothing could stop him from getting his new office to spick and span. His cleaning apron, which he wore over his detective trench coat, was soon covered in cobwebs and dust splotches, along with the rest of his white bones. At first, he didn't intend to get rid of the rats that lived here – it would have been rude! And this was their home after all! So, as a welcoming gift, he cooked spaghetti and even bought special cutlery of tiny porcelain plates with tiny forks for the rats to eat their tiny food. Unbeknownst to Papyrus, his food was the best rat deterrent there ever was, with each furry vermin having high-tailed it out of there before they could have seconds.

Once ordering the usual furniture for all private detectives to have; a large, mahogany desk, some gray filing cabinets, a coat rack, an old-fashioned telephone, a desk lamp, a slowly revolving ceiling fan, and some window blinds that one could never quite roll up correctly without it going askew in one direction, the Great Detective Papyrus agency was ready and open for business.

"so what about the rest of the building?" Sans asked once he finally woke up from his twelve-hour nap. "it's all fixed but we got like three empty floors now."

"SIMPLE, BROTHER." Papyrus leaned back in his chair, which creaked wonderfully, as it should. "THE FIRST FLOOR WILL BE WHERE I WILL START OFF MY RESTAURANT AS THE GREAT SPAGHETORE CHEF. STARS FROM AROUND THE WORLD WILL RESERVE TO TASTE MY CULINARY, NOODLE-ISTIC ART."

"i, uh, thought you wanted to be a detective, bro."

"AND A FAMOUS CHEF. I, THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS, CAN AND WILL PURSUE MORE THAN ONE DREAM. AS SHOULD EVERYONE ELSE."

"that's neat. so what about the third floor?"

"THAT IS WHERE I WILL SUBMERGE MYSELF IN DARKNESS AND ISOLATION DUE TO THE STRESSES I WILL EXPERIENCE CAUSED BY PURSUING TWO IMPROBABLE DREAMS AT ONCE." He audibly winked. "IT IS ALWAYS GOOD TO BE PREPARED."

Sans was silent, then, "neat."

"NOW ALL I MUST DO IS WAIT FOR MY NEXT CASE TO ROLL IN. THAT PHONE, OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS, WILL BE RINGING OFF THE HOOK."

In the next few days, that phone stayed on its receiver, nary falling off the hook even once.

But the Great Detective Papyrus was vigilant, seated at his desk 24/7 lest a phone call could have been missed. Sans mentioned maybe he should get a cell phone, too, so that he could actually leave the building. Papyrus assured him that that was simply not how the true classic private detectives handled their business.

While Sans was usually the epitome of patience, even he decided to leave the room for a while, assuring Papyrus that he was just going out to get some milk. That had been two weeks ago.

The phone continued to be silent…

Until it wasn't.

Ring ring! Ring ring!

"OH MY GOD."

Papyrus, who had been polishing the filing cabinets up to the point of their metallic surface being so blindingly bright, clambered over to the phone. His excitement got the best of him however. Long legs bounded straight across the desk, making him offshoot the landing and crash straight into the window instead.

Glass shards lay across the office floor, with no Papyrus in sight.

Then rapid footsteps pattered onto the stairs and Papyrus was back again, trench coat no worse for wear, though his fedora was slightly off-center from his skull. He made a jump for the desk again, and this time, slid across the surface, grasping the phone with an intense grip.

"HELLO, THIS IS THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS AGENCY," he shouted politely. He then arranged himself neatly into his seat, and expertly spoke in a gruff tone, yet still so friendly, into the receiver, all the while having his fedora edged forward just a tad, to give him that perfect solitary private detective vibe. "THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS SPEAKING. NYEH HEH HEH! WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?"

"Um," a small voice echoed over to him. "Hello, just, I was not expecting such a loud answer-"

"THAT IS QUITE ALRIGHT. WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS BELIEVES YOU CAN OVERCOME THIS."

"Th- thank you?" They cleared their throat. "I just happened to see your flyers in the local laundromat, about, 'Local Detective Will Solve Any Crime, Any Where, Any Time?'"

"OH YES, THAT IS ONE OF MINE."

"The one with the stick drawing of a skeleton in a trench coat?"

"MY BROTHER DREW THAT. HE IS VERY TALENTED."

"But there's also a superhero cape, too, and you're on a skateboard for some reason."

"MY BROTHER LIKES TO EMPLOY ARTISTIC FREEDOM. I ALLOW IT."

"Okay, well, anyway." The voice grew more in confidence, almost too self-assured. "So that means you'll, like, do jobs for people?"

"OF COURSE. THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS WILL ALWAYS-"

"So my little Bun-bun is stuck up on a tree. Can you go get him for me?"

"AH, A CLASSIC STUCK-IN-A-TREE MYSTERY." Papyrus took up his notepad, getting ready to write down all the details. "AND YOU WOULD LIKE TO ME FIND JUST WHO PUT THIS PERSON, BUN-BUN? IN A TREE?"

"No, you don't need to. He got up there himself."

"OH." A pause. "BUT YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO INVESTIGATE THEN JUST WHY BUN-BUN CLIMBED THE TREE?"

"No, he was just being excitable again."

"OKAY." Another pause. "SO-"

"Could you just help me get him down from there? Your flyer said you would help anyone in need, is that right?"

"OF COURSE. I WILL ALWAYS DO MY BEST TO-"

"Okay, great. I don't have money, but I'm just by the laundromat, and I have dinner reservations in an hour, so if we could hurry this up?"

"WELL THAT IS-"

"Great, thanks!" Click, went the phone.

Sans finally came back later that night. He walked through the office door, a plastic bag hanging from his arm.

"heya, bro, got the milk. what's…" Sans stopped for a moment, though his casual expression stayed the same. "uh, what's up?"

"OH SANS." Papyrus was as eager to greet his brother, not at all mindful that Sans had been gone long enough to file a missing person's report. He stepped away from the new spagoffie machine he had erected by his desk. Spaghetti sloshed inside his mug as he walked forward, practicing his detective walk, like he saw in the movies. "YOU MISSED SEEING ME PUT MY DASTARDLY DETECTIVE SKILLS TO ACTION TODAY."

"is that why there's claw marks all over your trench coat?" Sans squinted his eye sockets a fraction. "and your face?"

Papyrus rubbed his forehead with his palm, where the imprint of tiny baby claws – three in parallel – had cut through the bone, but only a little bit! His fedora hat hid it well enough. "THE RISKS THAT COME WITH THE JOB. I DIDN'T TAKE ON THIS PRESTIGIOUS CAREER WITHOUT KNOWING THAT I WOULD BE GREETED WITH DANGER AT EVERY TURN. OTHERWISE WHY WOULD I TAKE THIS JOB IN THE FIRST PLACE?"

"makes sense." Sans nodded. "got to chase some bad guys then?"

"WELL, ER, NO." Papyrus turned away for a second, sloshing his spagoffie even more. Sauce spattered on the hardwood floors. "I MEAN, I HAD THE HONOR OF HELPING A TROUBLED CITIZEN OUT! OF A TREE! A SMALL FLUFFY CITIZEN. WHO DID NOT WANT TO GET OUT OF THE TREE. AND WHO APPARENTLY IS NOT VERY FOND OF HIS SISTER WHO MAKES HIM WEAR COLLARS AND TAKE HIM TO WALKS-"

"wow, she's still doing that, huh?"

"WAIT, YOU KNOW HER?" Papyrus asked with the greatest of suspicions only suitable for the most gruff and grizzled of detectives.

"nah, but she knows me." Sans winked, coupled with a shrug. "everybody knows me."

After holding his glare, Papyrus then gave a small sigh, his back slightly hunched.

"you okay, bro?"

"NYEH. THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS IS ALWAYS OKAY. MORE THAN OKAY!"

"okay."

A beat of silence passed.

"OKAY, FINE YOU CAUGHT ME. YOU'VE INTERROGATED ME LONG ENOUGH."

"i didn't-"

"SANS, I KNEW THAT MY ILLUSTRIOUS DETECTIVE AGENCY WOULD GO THROUGH HARD TIMES. THAT'S WHAT ALL GREAT PRIVATE EYES MUST EXPERIENCE AND STRIVE FOR! LIKE BROODING WALKS THROUGH THE SLEEPY STREETS, SEARCHING FOR TRUTH IN THE SEEDIEST PART OF TOWNS, AND CONVERSATIONS WITH FEMME FATALES THAT WILL LEAD ME INTO THEIR UNESCAPABLE CAGE OF DARK PASSION. OR MANLY FETALES, TOO! I WOULD NEVER DISCRIMINATE BETWEEN THE GENDERS. I'M SURE EVERYONE CAN BE A GREAT FATALE IF THEY TRIED!"

"yeah, you're right."

"ANYWAY…" Another sigh. Papyrus leaned against his desk, gangly limbs hanging off him like dead weights – or just weird offshoots of bone. "I HAVE ONLY HAD ONE AMAZING CASE THIS WHOLE TIME. WHY DOES SOMEONE LIKE ME MUST DO SO MUCH… JUST TO GET SOME RECOGNITION?"

At first, Sans didn't respond right away. He looked to his taller brother with a mixture of pity, an expression that didn't cross his face quite often. He patted a comforting hand against his brother's knee with a dull clank. "no worries, bro. you'll hit the big time. won't be long before you come across a crime boss who has no shred of compassion and will soon become your arch rival and have his goons try to gun you down at every waking moment."

Papyrus cheered up immediately. "OF COURSE, SANS. I JUST HAVE TO KEEP BELIEVING! SOON THE CRIMINALS OF THIS CITY WILL BE AFTER MY HEAD."

"heh, let's not get ahead of ourselves though."

"SANS WHY DO YOU RUIN THE MOOD WHENEVER POSSIBLE?"

"cuz i love you, bro."

"I LOVE YOU TOO, BUT SERIOUSLY WHY?"

"here, lemme make it up to you." Sans gestured behind him, towards the door he left open. He gestured for someone to come in, though it took said someone to finally do so.

The ghost floated as nondescript as they possibly could. With large, white eyes, they looked to both skeletons with trepidation. A dapper-looking hat was perched atop their head, really completing the look of this armless, legless, completely incorporeal monster.

"oh… hello… is this the great detective papyrus… oh no." The ghost looked at the door, seeing the words, "THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS" printed in thick, black letters on the glass window. "it was right there… yet i missed it completely… sorry to be so much trouble… oh noooo.."

"it's fine, naps." Sans assured. "don't fade out just yet."

The ghost faded back into an illusion of solidity, no longer disappearing into thin air. "okay…"

Papyrus bent down next to his brother, so he could whisper quite loudly into the location where the ear would be. "SANS. WHO IS THIS DAPPER LOOKING FELLOW?"

"napstablook." Sans grinned. "your new client."

"GASP!"

"heh, yeah. says they needs help with a local problem, something that only the most famous detective can solve."

Papyrus looked both ways, then said extremely conspicuously, ("IS IT ME?")

Sans answered, ("yes.")

Napstablook looked around the office, trying their very best to blend in with the gray filing cabinets and the numerous boxes of pasta noodles that was perched at every conceivable corner. "i really don't want to be a bother… i can just go… you looked like you were having fun without me…"

After inwardly squeeing from what lay ahead of him, Papyrus puffed out his chest, inching his hat down to dramatically shadow his bony face, like real detectives with a past full of dark turmoil did. He gruffly walked up to his shy client, his cheerful face contrasting sharply with his outfit.

"THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS IS HERE TO SOLVE ANY PUZZLE, CLOSE ANY CASE, AND PLAY THROUGH ANY MYSTERIES THAT CONFOUND US ALL. EXCEPT ME, THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS. NYEH HEH HEH!"

The ghost looked up at the tall, dashing skeleton with what could be called undisguised awe. Large eyes glazed over, their admiration plain. "oh… that is very impressive…"

"I KNOW!" Papyrus clattered over to the ghost, mindful of his brother who had just then decided to lay out on the floor and take a nap. He took out a notepad, flipping past several pages of self-portraits to get to an empty space. "PLEASE TELL ME, IN EXCRUCIATING DETAIL, WHAT TROUBLES YOU SO AND HOW YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO HELP!"

Napstablook aimed their still awe-struck gaze downwards. If they possessed any feet, they would have been scuffling them against the floor. "oh… just something… it's probably not a big deal or anything…"

"NONSENSE." Papyrus knelt down to the ghost's level, his smile so blinding it rivaled with the desk lamp's brightness. "I AM SURE WHAT YOU HAVE IS QUITE A BIG DEAL, AND THAT IT IS SOMETHING SO DIRE, SO DANGEROUS, AND PERHAPS QUITE LIFE-DESTROYING. A CASE THAT IS WORTHY OF THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS."

"oh, i guess…. when you put it that way…" Napstablook edged their eyes back up, a shy smile on the what could be assumed was their face. "there is… from a house… some things were changed-"

"YOU HAVE SUFFERED A THEFT?" Papyrus interrupted boldly. "A BURGLARY AT YOUR HOME?"

"oh, i-im sorry…" Napstablook said with such despondence. "i wasn't very clear… it's the home right next to mine, but i take care of it, too… it used to belong to my cousin before they moved. but lately, i keep hearing strange sounds in the night… and when i check in during the day, things aren't stolen, really… but, i think, it looks like someone is living there right now."

"SO, NOT A BURGLARY, BUT A TRESPASSING, YOU SAY?" The skeleton detective scribbled furiously in his notepad, sometimes tearing the paper just a bit in his haste.

"is that what it should be called? i'm sorry, i should have known…" The ghost was dangerously trying to blend in with the ravioli noodle-printed wallpaper of the office. (Not part of the usual private-eye affair, but Papyrus was allowed one indulgence at the least!) "there's no one in there during the day, but i noticed the bed has been slept in… that the stove has been used… there are a lot of scorch marks on it… and that the dresser has been moved…. like someone was trying to lift it…"

Papyrus snapped shut his tiny notepad and puffed out his detective chest. "SAY NO MORE, DEAR BLOOKS. I, THE GREAT DETECTIVE PAPYRUS, WILL SOLVE THIS CASE OF THE MYSTERIOUS NEXT-DOOR-VANDALISM! NYEH HEH HEH! SANS!" He turned to his brother who was still half-in his sudden nap. "I WILL GO ACCOMPANY THIS DAPPER CLIENT OF MINE TO SOLVE THE CASE. TAKE CARE OF THE OFFICE WHILE I GO DEDUCE THIS PUZZLE OF THE CENTURY."

"ya got it, bro." Sans made an a-ok sign with his stubby fingers. "make sure to take the (snrk) bonemobile."

"AH, OF COURSE." Papyrus was already going about the office, stuffing all that he would need into his coat pockets (magnifying glass, extra notepads, a couple of aces here and there) "AND CALLING IT THAT WILL SURELY GRAB PEOPLE'S ATTENTIONS, WILL IT? TO BE AWARE OF THE NEW, HIP, AND COOL DETECTIVE IN TOWN?"

"it'll grab people's attentions, all right," Sans said through barely constrained laughter.

"bonemobile…" Napstablook repeated quietly, before their detective stood next to them.

"COME, BLOOKS IT'S TIME TO SOLVE THIS CASE."

With that, Papyrus dashed out into the hallway, nyeh-heh-hehing all the way, while the shy ghost floated behind him.