Messy Reactions

Disclaimer: Nope. Me no own here. Sorry.

Summary: Ianto makes a very true decision about some of Jack's habits, especially when they go on adventures with the Doctor. Jack/Ianto. Fifty-first in the "Immortal Janto" series.

Well, I'm back! Here's a brand, spanking new story about our favorite two immortals and their usual insanity.

Alright, I'm not going to prattle on any longer. Here we go!

Whenever they hit a crazy adventure with the Doctor (which was actually more of a regular occurrence than most people realized), Ianto knew that things were going to get, well, messy.

It was some old fact that followed the Doctor around. Every time that he got involved with an adventure or something, things tended to go from bad to worse before they got better. More than that, explosions and messes were a very common occurrence whenever they were around.

And, to some extent, that irritated Ianto.

Ever since he first woke up from his first death, Ianto realized that the Doctor and his messes were not necessarily fun, even for someone who worked as the general support for Torchwood Three!

Ergo, when Jack and the Doctor came walking in after chasing down (yet another) alien bandit and, for whatever horrifying reason, Jack was covered in a mixture of strange looking and multi-colored gooey substance, Ianto had to hold his tongue from having a yelling fit at the state of Jack's clothing. Instead, he did what just about any indignant person in this situation would logically do.

He turned on his heel and stormed (yes, stormed) out of the room.

As he went, Ianto saw the disappointed look on Jack face. It was so lucky that Ianto knew Jack so well and knew exactly what buttons to push whenever he wanted to make a point. Jack wasn't getting off very lightly, not today at least.

Normally, Ianto wouldn't have been too upset if Jack had gotten himself into a scrap and got messy because of it. Messy was an inevitable way of life for them. It came with the territory.

But, just once, Ianto would like to avoid messes on certain days of the calendar year.

Whenever he and Jack were having disagreements or straight-up fights, Ianto preferred to have them far from the prying eye, which is why he found his way to their bedroom. Well, that and the fact that the shower and clean clothes were in their bedroom meant that Jack would have to come there anyway.

Sure enough, not five minutes after he walked way and had settled himself down into one of the comfortable chairs that they had acquired over the years, Jack came walking into the bedroom, still covered in the goo-like substance and wearing a genuinely sad look on his face. That was when Ianto saw the very large gash that split across the back of Jack's greatcoat. He didn't see any blood but, by damn, that cut would be murder to repair.

Ianto leaned back in his chair, adopting a neutral expression.

Oh yes, he was decidedly fed up with the very repetitive theme of messes and damaged or destroyed clothing. The Doctor may be the resident expert on getting messy but Jack took the cake for causing property and clothing damage.

As much as Ianto loved Jack's greatcoat, he liked a whole lot more when he wasn't constantly getting it cleaned or fixed.

He watched silently as Jack carefully peeled off the greatcoat, mindful of the grime and the gaping slash across the back, and hung it up (actually hung it up) on a hanger. Once that was done, Jack stripped, clearly not doing the strip-tease that he might have otherwise been prone to do. Nope, Jack picked up on the fact that this was not the appropriate moment for such an action and did his best to change clothes, depositing his dirty clothing (boots included) into the trash bin that the TARDIS so helpfully provided.

Freshly dressed in dark jeans and a blue button-down and bare-footed (okay, so the TARDIS might be siding with Ianto at the moment), Jack plodded over to Ianto and knelt down in front of him, reaching out cautiously to take his hand.

"I'm sorry," Jack told him, simply. Ianto raised an eyebrow. Jack continued, "I'm sorry that I made a mess of myself and the greatcoat."

"Again," Ianto added.

Jack nodded. "Again," he agreed. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I won't promise that I will stop being messy or getting into messy situations, but I'll do my best to keep you from having to shoulder all of the cleanup, Yan – well, you and the TARDIS."

The puppy-dog eyes almost won Ianto over – almost.

"It's a part of who both you and the Doctor are," he relented, "getting messy as a result of trying to fix things." It took a lot for Ianto to suppress a sigh. For a moment, he felt like was back in the Hub, way back in the day when he was merely the Teaboy and general support – which had always translated into himself cleaning up after everyone. "It's just a serious pain in the ass to clean up the physical messes that you leave in your wake."

Jack's jaw tensed ever so slightly at the tone in his voice.

"You're are not our maid-servant, Ianto, and you've never been that. I hope you know that you're more valuable to all of us – to me, especially."

He nodded. "I do know that."

A little smile split across Jack's lips.

"How about I clean up any and all messes that I make to myself and the TARDIS when jumping into the fray?" Jack asked, his voice hopeful.

Now that, Ianto couldn't quite believe.

"Fine, if you really think that you and the greatcoat can handle that?"

"Hey!" Jack replied, indignantly. "I got through the torture of Miracle Day just fine and I kept the coat in one piece then!" He winced, after a second, and Ianto raised an eyebrow in question. "Okay, maybe not. Gwen did blow a hole through the coat at the end of it."

"She what?"

Jack hadn't told him that and Ianto hadn't asked – though, in retrospect, he probably should have.

A blush crossed Jack's cheeks.

"Um, well, you know how Gwen shot me to get my blood out, right?"

Oh, that was it. Gwen was so going to get it, if he ever saw her again!

Ianto sighed heavily.

"And this is why we can't have nice things."

Not very long, but hey, totally worth it, given who our boys are!

You know what to do. Was it good? Bad? Somewhere in the middle? I love your feedback. It helps me get even better.

As always, I will post the next installment up as soon as the Muse allows me.