This spawned off of another of xxjaninexx's work. o3o Sorry, but it's depressing.
I always new I was going to die someday. Death is inevitable. But dying early was not what I thought would be my demise. I thought I was going to live a long life. A long life with a certain blond. But Death had other plans.
Death wanted me dead, not to sound redundant.
It started when I turned 12. I had an asthma attack on the way home and McCormick was walking next to me. When the attack hit, I fell to ground. He was painful. McCormick dropped his stuff and was by my side in an instant.
"Tucker. Tucker, you alright? Tucker!" I think... I passed out. I remember waking up in the hospital. I was so scared, but I didn't let it show. I was hooked up to an oxygen machine and my parents were crying nearby. Let me say that again, MY PARENTS WERE CRYING. My parents never cried unless something serious happened.
This only made me fear for the worse.
I was only proved that I should fear the worse.
"Craig. We have some unfortunate news for you," the doctor said as he parted from my parents. That was NOT the way to greet someone who just woke up from an asthma attack. Now my fear was shot into the back of my throat read to become liquefied at any moment.
"After looking closely at your lungs, I'm afraid to say you're in the developing stages of Lung Cancer," he stated and my heart stopped. Time seemed to stand still. I was developing lung cancer? Was it emphysema?
"You're in the beginning stages so we can't deplore medicine at the current moment, nor can we stop it," the stated sadly. It was emphysema.
I let out a long, raspy sigh. This was the life of me, Craig Tucker.
Years passed and I turned 16 without the cancer getting neither better nor worse. That was a sign, right?
I wish.
On my 17th birthday, the cancer decided to assault my lungs.
I sat at the table, Kenny on one side and Clyde on the other. Tweek was next to Kenny and Token was next to Clyde. This was my group of friends, minus Kenny. McCormick... he was something more precious to me.
"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Craig. Happy birthday to you," they all sung stupidly as I blew out the number 17 candle on my cake. I made the wish that I'd live to my 18th birthday. Even though the cancer never reacted, it was still a scary thought. Always nagging at the back of my mind.
Kenny had suggested buying triple chocolate fudge cake, and Clyde did just that.
The attack happened when they started serving the cake. I had just gotten a slice when I suddenly couldn't breathe. I started dry heaving and once more, Kenny was by my side. He always was.
"Call 911!" came his panicked voice. The last thing I saw before passing out was the look of utter terror and worry in his big, blue eyes. My own were blue, too, but he had that perfect blond hair to match it. I was stuck with noir hair.
When I awoke this time, Kenny was by my bedside, holding my hand with a very grim expression.
"McCormick?" My voice was hoarse and dry from lack of use.
"Craig!" He stood and called in the doctor and then sat back down. "Craig... you're gonna go through Hell and back, but it'll be okay. I'm here."
"What the fuck are you talking about McCormick?" I ask weakly as the doctor runs diagnostics on me.
"Mr. Tucker. Your cancer has entered the third stage, rather quickly. We need to begin chemotherapy and radiotherapy immediately. Your parents already signed, but do you consent to it?" The doctor asked, taking out a tape recorder.
"I, Craig Tucker, consent to the following treatments of chemotherapy and radiotherapy," I sigh out, tired.
"Good. Let's begin."
It was six months into my treatment and I thought I was getting better. Thankfully, none of my hair had fallen out during the chemo or radiotherapy sessions. But I was paler and thinner for sure. My eyes were sunken in and I was always tired and always looked tired, even when I was wide awake.
I stopped remembering my dreams altogether and was taken out of school. My health was priority. I could always get my GED at a later time. Kenny, stupid Kenny McCormick. He visits everyday, making sure I'm doing better. He rubs and massages any sore muscles I may have and generally takes care of me.
Normally my pride would be shot because of this, but currently I have no pride. It all left the first time I had radiotherapy. I was so weak afterwards. Kenny had to carry me home. He's always by my side now.
And to think I thought he was nothing but a perverted kid who only wanted a quick fuck. He's much more, that's for damn sure.
I was feeling better each day, but my body wasn't. You can feel better when your body doesn't. It's possible. I proved it. At least... at least my birthday wish came true. But as the cancer sped up inside my body, it took a turn for the worse. I started puking violently. Sometimes my vomit contained blood, other times not.
I was dying and there was no going back for me.
That's when Kenny came to me in tears. He looked so angry. So hate-filled. I had never seen him like that before.
"Why do you have to die? Why?"
I couldn't help but smile. He does care. That's what I thought about.
" If you die... it isn't the end... But if you die again ... you'll be lost..." I say slowly and he looks at me in confusion through his sorrowful tears.
"What do you mean? Make sense, Tucker!" He was mad. But not at me. He was mad at the unfairness of life.
"What I mean is, you can die... but you'll die a second time if the people who loved you forget you. Forget you ever existed," I sigh sadly. "I lived a good life, McCormick. I'll be remembered. I know that you'll remember me."
Kenny shook his head rapidly. "No! Craig, stop saying you're gonna die! You're not gonna die! You wanted to live a long life. You told me that!"
I never wanted to see Kenny cry. Never.
"Yes. But shit happened. Things changed. Neither of us could've predicted me getting cancer," I state and he bolts from the room. I swear I heard my heart break in two, but still I remain stoic, never letting me emotions show.
When the next day comes, I'm severely weakened. I can see the black hood of Death, his skeletal hand reaching for me. It's coercing me into Eternal Slumber, but I fight it. I need to see Kenny before I go.
But I'm failing. As I fail, my emotions start leaving me, making me that much weaker. Or did it make me strong.
"No. Mom. Dad. I don't wanna die. I wanna see Kenny. Call Kenny, bring him here," my voice is wavering, I can feel it. But all I hear are the echoes of Death's footsteps, growing closer and closer. He's almost upon me, but I'm gripping onto the need to see Kenny. I know I'm only moments away from death, but I need to see his blue eyes, his blond hair. Just once more before I die.
I need to kiss those pink lips just once more before I fade in to the abyss of non-existence. Just once. I can hear the heart monitor's beeps getting slower and slower as time presses on. It feels like eternity before Kenny comes bursting through the doors. I know my face tear-stained. But in the moment of death, what would you do?
"Craig. Hold on, please," his voice is low, almost a whisper but it sounds loud in my too weak ears. He's cupping my face and looking at me.
"I wish I could. But it's getting harder to breath. They're gonna pull the plug once I fall asleep. I was getting so tired... and it's painful," I manage to choke out, tears spilling once more. His expression softens when I mention it being painful. He shakes violently and then smiles sadly at me, tears clouding his beautiful blue eyes.
"Alright Craig. I don't want you to suffer anymore," his voice his shaken and I know it's hard for him.
"A kiss goodbye?" I ask, half-jokingly. He complies by pressing those sweet-tasting lips upon mine. We kiss for what seems like forever before his parts.
"At least... I die happy," I smile, sleep overcoming me. I spiral eternally into a dark abyss, never to awaken.
Death has gripped me so, but I regret nothing. In my short-lived eighteen years of life... I'm glad I spent it with Kenny.
And low, it is done. Eheh.
It's midnight and I have school tomorrow.
I don't typically fall asleep till 1 AM anyways. xD
So there you go.
Love you all,
Cor Mortis