Thinking about the past
Jesse has never thought he would have said that, not after leaving that organization for good, but it's nice to be back.
He'll never admit it but he has missed the old Overwatch, before everything went down, and he has missed his friends.
Sure, he knows that what's coming isn't going to be pretty – maybe some of them would have died – but he isn't thinking about that, now; what he's thinking is that they are all there, well, almost everyone: Genji is absent. He said he had something to do first, a person he needed to speak to.
McCree is pretty sure he knows who that person is; Genji had spoken about him a lot of times.
It's strange that only now he has gathered the courage to actually talk to him but hey, it isn't McCree's business.
They have decided to meet at an old Overwatch base, the one Winston is using as a refuge.
It isn't a five-star hotel, but Jesse can manage; he had been in way worse places while he was on the run.
They are sitting around a large table inside what McCree supposes is – or was – the meeting room.
Not even half of the seats are occupied; there are just him, Angela, Lena, Winston and Fareeha – she has grown so much since the last time he had seen her that at first he almost didn't recognize her.
By the way they're acting it seems just a simple reunion, as if everything was all right and there weren't any emergencies.
Oh well, screw it. They haven't seen each other for such a long time; they can think about the reason why they have been brought together later.
They have been mostly catching up to each other, telling how they have been, what they have been doing.
Overall they have been all faring decently; at least they haven't been wanted in pretty much everywhere. Not that McCree is angry or jealous about this, though: there's something about being a fugitive that many people would find fascinating.
Besides, he rather be the one dealing with this than, just to name a few, Fareeha or Angela.
- It feels so good to be back with all of you -, Angela says, - I just wish the circumstances weren't this bad -.
The others nod, and the mood seems to drop down; nobody speaks for a while, as if the reality of their situation has hit them just now.
- If we had a time-travelling machine we could go back in time and none of this would have happened -, Lena muses, - Wouldn't that be awesome? -.
- Well, yes, I think -, Angela replies.
- Say, what would you do if you could go back? -, Lena asks then, with her typical enthusiasm.
She's so lucky to be like that. Nothing breaks her spirit for too long.
Jesse really admires that.
They all start to say the most ridiculous things like "I would eat that last chocolate cookie", "I wouldn't retire earlier that day 'cause I know you're gonna prank me", "I would go on a diet". Oddly enough, nobody talks about the more "serious" things they could do; nobody wants to think about that.
Then they all get silent and stare at McCree, who realizes just now that he has been lost in thoughts again.
- You've been awfully quiet all this time -, Angela says, and McCree doesn't fail to notice the concern in her voice.
- I'm fine, don't worry, I'm just tired -, he says, trying to sound convincing, - It's been a long way, coming here -.
- Then you should get some rest -, Angela replies and McCree uses that excuse to leave.
It's been a long time since Jesse slept on an actual bed.
The mattress under him is soft and clean, so he relaxes almost immediately.
Still, no matter how hard he's trying, he can't manage to fall asleep.
He doesn't know how much time has passed when he hears the sound of footsteps coming from outside. Even the others have decided to call it a night.
Suddenly he hears a knock on his door.
- McCree… Jesse? -, it's Angela's voice, - Are you awake? -.
If he had remained silent she would have left him alone, he's sure of that, but he decides to answer anyways.
He gets up from the bed and he reaches the door, opening it.
- Hey, Angela -, he greets her, forcing out a smile, - Something's the matter? -.
- Can I enter? -, she asks.
- Need someone to sleep with? -, he teases, letting her in.
- Ah. Ah. Real funny -, Angela replies, sarcastic.
McCree closes the door and he returns to the bed, followed by Angela that sits next to him.
It's dark but he doesn't feel like turning on the lights; Angela doesn't say anything about it either so he leaves them like that.
- So what is it? -, he asks then.
Angela sighs.
- It's just… There's something bothering you, Jess, I feel it, it's obvious -, she starts, - So, if there's anything you want to talk about, just say it -.
- You know that I hate seeing you like this -, she concludes, making McCree smile.
It's true.
Whenever Jesse was in a bad mood, Angela always tried to make him feel better.
Usually she acted like that under Fareeha's insistence, but soon ever she started to care about him.
Suddenly Jesse had two sisters.
He never had siblings – he knew nothing about his family – but damn that felt good.
He doesn't reply immediately, and Angela knows better than to press further.
- You know what I would do, if I could go back in time? -, he suddenly says.
Angela fights the impulse to ask him what does that have to do with anything and she decides to play along.
- What would you do? -, she says.
- First of all, I wouldn't leave -, Jesse starts, - And I would speak to the commander about all of this -.
- You would speak to Morrison? -, Angela asks.
- No -, McCree replies, - To Reyes -.
- You would tell Reyes?! -, Angela exclaims, - After all he's done? -.
- Yeah -, Jesse replies.
- But… -, Angela tries to say, but McCree interrupts her.
- I know what you're thinking -, he starts, - But I knew I'm better than you did, hell, at this point I'm convinced I knew him better than even Morrison! -.
- He fucked up, I won't deny it, but he was a good person, even if nobody believes it -.
- Is this what's bothering you? -, Angela asks.
McCree sighs.
- It's stupid, I know -, he says.
When Reyes first took him under his wing, Jesse didn't think he would have cared about him that much; sure, he had saved him from a life in jail or worse – Jesse didn't even want to think about that – but to him he was still a big asshole.
He still doesn't remember the exact moment when things changed, but Reyes became the closest thing he ever had to a father.
That's why he had left Overwatch, why he had decided to run away: he couldn't believe that the man he was looking at and the Reyes he had grown to respect and admire were the same person.
After hearing what happened after he had left, after knowing about the fight between Reyes and Morrison and their death, he started to regret his actions.
His head started to be filled of what ifs; maybe if he had remained he would have been able to make Reyes change his mind, maybe nothing would have happened.
He couldn't even gather the courage to show up at their funeral.
- Well, we're still not able to travel that far in time -, Angela starts, - You're just hurting yourself thinking about this -.
She places a hand on McCree's shoulder as a reassuring gesture.
- The only thing you can do now is taking what you've learned from him and make it yours-, she continues.
- If he was as good as you think he was, he would be proud of you -, she says.
- You really think so? -, McCree asks.
The truth is that no, she doesn't really believe it, but it's also true that she didn't know Reyes that well, so she's willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, at least for Jesse's sake.
- Yes -, she lies.
- Why don't you rest, now? -, she says then, - It'll do you good -.
McCree nods.
- Yes ma'am -, he jokes, making the military salute.
Angela chuckles and she gets up.
She's about to open the door when she hears McCree saying "Thanks, Angela". She turns towards him and she replies:
- Don't mention it. Goodnight, Jesse -.
- Goodnight -, McCree replies, but Angela's already gone.
He sighs and he lays down again.
After that conversation he's even more tired than before; he feels empty.
Still, it takes some time for him to fall asleep.
Not thinking about the past… as if he hasn't tried.
Author's notes: I know it's heavily implied that it's Mercy the one who "resurrected" Reaper, but I like to think that it was an error and the she actually doesn't know about it, that's why here she believes Reyes is dead.