Pongo the matchmaker
I got the idea from the animated movie '101 Dalmatians' (which I love). I don't own that movie. I don't own Once Upon A Time either (man would the show be different if I did). I hope you like the story!
Just to make things less confusing ; the narrator, so to speak , is Pongo. I didn't really know how he would refer to Emma/Regina, so I had him refer to them as the knight/the queen or each other's mates ( in the movie he does call Anita Roger's mate) because I really like the idea that Emma would be Regina's knight. It's cute, okay? Also, his pet=Archie.
It was ridiculous, really. The one that always smelled vaguely of cinnamon followed the one smelling of apple around like she was a belly rub. And the one that used to visit his pet was constantly looking at the other one like she was a squeaky toy she couldn't get to. Not to mention the looks and the smells (not just the cinnamon/apple, more telling smells. That they usually couldn't smell themselves…) that occurred when the two were around each other.
Thanks to their boy, these occurrences were often.
In fact, it had all started with the boy.
Their story had all started with him: the lonely pup that would pet at him and ask in a tired voice 'you don't think I am crazy… do you?". The pup that would glare at the woman that marched into the office, shrug away from casual touches, miss the look of heartbreak in her eyes ( he might be a dog, but that didn't mean he didn't know what heartbreak was). The pup that finally found his way to his second mother, and brought her to the first. That's how it started.
And then , one day, the pup came to him. When the pup first started visiting his pet, he would often talk to him. About all kind of things , like something called school and comics, but mostly about his 'moms' ( which he quickly found out were the two women always fighting with each other). After all the stories the pup told him, Pongo decided that the pup's two moms were the perfect mates to each other. After all, they already had a pup together. And considering Pongo himself was rather fond of the pup ( as well as of the two women; the clumsy one always entertained him when she ran after him and the other one gave the best belly rubs) he was going to help them.
The plan all started at a rather normal day. Once again, he had masterfully managed to escape the grip on his leash. Running off, he went in search of the knight.
As soon as he saw her, he barked. He waited until she turned and was running at the moment she called " Pongo , don't run- damn it".
Now, all he had to do was deliver her to her mate.
Running fast, but not too fast ( the woman couldn't run as fast as him after all) he made his way to where he knew the pup lived. When he arrived, he started barking as loudly as possible as well as jumping away from the hands that tried to grab him.
" Damn it Pongo" the cinnamon-smelling one hissed, when she missed him once again. He gave her a look. Didn't the obtuse woman understand that he was helping her?
"Pongo, come on, I will buy a tennis ball or whatever dogs like" she pleaded.
He was tempted for a moment, but no. He had to help the pup. He actually started barking even louder and jumping at the door, scratching it. Then had to be really quick to avoid being grabbed by the irate woman behind him.
Finally, the door opened. The woman who opened it barely had time to ask " what is all this-" when Pongo slipped into the house . There. Now they had to talk. It had worked well enough with his pet and his mate.
" Really miss Swan?".
" I am sorry Regina, but he just ran here and then started barking and I couldn't grab him".
"Yes, I am sure that it is far above your capabilities to catch a dog".
"Hé! It is more difficult than it seems , you know. I don't see you catching him, your majesty"
The blonde laughed and Pongo preened. His plan was working! Laughing was an excellent sign. Now, if the queen would invite her knight in… that would be perfect.
He was let down. Immensely.
Regina actually turned around, eying him. Obviously, she was plotting to grab him herself. He abandoned plan A ( wait until the knight entered the house, then run upstairs, forcing the women to spend time with each other ) for an improvised plan B.
He ran towards Regina, at full speed, then barreled into her legs with all the force he could muster and hoped that he had calculated it right. He had: the queen staggered backwards and the woman behind her immediately surged forward to catch her in a pair of strong arms.
Swoon! Pongo thought triumphantly. He had watched enough shows with his pet to know good stuff happened when people fell in each other's arms. The queen turned her head , so she could look at the woman whose arms were around her.
The knight grinned. " Not so easy after all, huh?".
" Indeed".
Pongo felt the urge to growl at the two when the knight didn't even kiss her mate or anything, no she just let her go again! Honestly, what else could he do in the face of such-
Uh oh. Both women were walking towards him. Subtly ( or well so they thought, it was very obvious from the way the one always chasing him inclined his head towards him) they started to move towards him to catch him.
They had only taken perhaps two steps when turned and ran. Where would he go? What is the best place, the most romantic one? Sitting room? No. He almost ran towards the kitchen ( the knight was pretty infatuated with food, after all.) but no. He didn't think it likely that there would be any cooking.
Bedroom then.
"PONGO" one of them called as he ran up the stairs as quickly as possible.
He sniffed. No , that smelled like the pup. That door just smelled like chemicals. Perhaps… yes! Apple. And some other scent, flowery. That must be her bedroom.
He jumped at the door, barking happily when it opened. He heard the thundering steps of the knight as she chased after him. And the deep voice of the pup's first mother berating her.
" Miss swan, remove your shoes now or so help me".
"You will destroy me if it's the last thing you do?" the knight called , laughing. Her voice sounded really close, so Pongo darted into the closet to hide and wait for her.
He looked into the room as the knight treated into it, then groaned. " seriously? Did you have to pick her bedroom" she muttered. He grinned. Yup. And it's your own fault, too. If you would've just gone along with my original plan, or if you had been less hopeless, then I wouldn't have been here.
As soon as the knight turned towards the bed , he left his hiding place and used the same trick as earlier; running into her. She landed on the bed, cursing.
" Fuck- you annoying-" she started, then laughed when he jumped on the bed as well to stand on her chest and lick her. "Pongo- no, don't , stop" she held up her hands to stop him but he just started licking them as well.
That's when the queen entered.
" Are you enjoying yourself, dear?" she said and Pongo jumped off the spread-eagled woman on the bed to turn and look at her mate. Said mate was doing her best to look stern, but the corners of her lips were turning up.
" He attacked me" the knight explained.
" Making it the second time today that you got bested by a dog. Really dear I wonder for the safety of my citizens if their Sheriff can't even defend herself against a canine".
" He nearly knocked you on your ass, so I really don't know whether you have the right to bitch about this, Regina" .
" Just get off my bed, miss Swan".
'miss Swan' shrugged and lunged for him. Unfortunately for her, he wasn't that easily caught. He just jumped off the bed and turned…
Only to be caught by the queen. Dang it. She kneeled down and started scratching him behind the ear. That felt too good to feel sorry about being caught.
" See miss Swan, it really isn't that difficult. Do you need dog catching lessons as well as magic ones?".
" No need to gloat Regina, I mean I would allow you to catch me too if you immediately started to snuggle with me".
"This is hardly snuggling, dear. And I thought I had already told you to get off my bed".
Pongo opened his eyes. Right. He couldn't get distracted, he had a mission. But how could he finally get the two to realize their pup needed them together? That they were great that way? He could start by escaping again.
When the queen started to straighten again, he saw his chance. Taking advantage of her weak balance, he tugged on the hold she had on his neck and tore free. While she staggered , he ran towards the bed where the other one was starting to get off and jumped on her again.
" Oof" she muttered when he landed on her stomach. He barked a couple of times, throwing the queen a look. Prodded the woman in the queen's bed with his paw as if to say 'look what I got you, isn't it neat?'. When the queen obviously didn't understand, he ran back to her, avoided her hands and nudged her legs. Then ran back towards the bed, imploring her to follow.
When she didn't, he grabbed the legs of the pantsuit she was wearing and started to tug. " Pongo!" she chided and he growled softly. Honestly, the woman was ungrateful. He was doing all this to help her and she was chiding him?
He tugged a little harder. " What are you doing, you mad animal" she said, looking down at the teeth clamped to her pants.
When he looked back, he panicked a little. The knight was leaving the bed! He jumped on her again, knocking her down, then immediately grabbed the queen again. This time, she gently tried to pull him away. He just growled and tugged harder. She pulled a little less gently. He tugged even harder.
While he and the queen were involved in a sort of tug-of-war, there was a thonk! Behind him. He pretended not to notice and tugged a little harder, then suddenly moved out of the way just as a body towards him propelled itself forward. Instead of catching a dog, the knight managed to catch the legs of a rather annoyed woman.
" Miss Swan…"
" Regina! Get him, he is-"
Pongo barked and ran out of the room. Time for plan D. Or F. Honestly, he didn't know how many he had already tried, they were more hopeless than his pet, for Perdita's sake!
He was followed by the sound of elephant-like footsteps and orders. Glancing around him, he tried to think of a better plan. Apparently even the bedroom didn't work. He was at the stairs when the thought came to him. He immediately turned around to run back towards the bedroom. He lay down on the bed, panting. Now all he had to do was wait…
Yes! There they were, perfect. The knight slowly approached him, and the queen followed behind ( after closing the door). He didn't move when the queen's mate threw herself on top of his leash. Only when he was certain she had the leash in her hand, he moved again. Just like all these years ago, he tugged a person with him, then ran around another person and used the leash to tie them together.
" Oh fuck!" the knight said at the exact same moment that the queen exclaimed " what the hell"
Then, in perfect harmony, they turned their faces towards him and screamed "Pongo!".
It was kind of funny to see two very powerful women tied up, flushing, and completely forgetting about their magic as they tried to ignore all the ways they were touching.
" Regina, will you stop pushing me away, I am going to-"
" if you can stop pressing against me"
"we are literally tied together how the fuck would I do that".
" It's not rocket science, dear, just- "
And then they fell.
On top of each other.
Limbs all tangled.
Faces a little red.
Dead silence.
And then.
"Are you okay?".
" We fell on a bed, dear, it's a bit difficult to sustain serious injuries that way".
"Technically, you fell on me . And I am a bit harder than your fancy-ass bed".
" … so I noticed".
" Did you now".
" Miss Swan".
" Okay okay. I am fine, by the way, thanks for asking".
" I am hardly heavy dear, I didn't think you would be injured".
" You seem a lot tinier this way"
" Get off the bed Miss Swan".
" I've heard this before. Also, you would first have to move off me, Regina".
" .. Fine".
" Just place your hands on my chest or wherever and-".
"Yes Miss Swan, I do know how to push myself up"
"Yeesh, I am just trying to help"
The two women were silent for a few minutes as they awkwardly tried to figure out how to get off the bed. Finally, the queen placed her hands on the knight's chest and tried to get her legs free.
" I can't-".
" wait, perhaps I can get to the leash, wait a moment"
" That is not a leash miss Swan".
" Oh fuck sorry, I couldn't see it, so- ".
" Well, now you can feel it's not , in fact, a leash, why is your hand still –"
" Uh right. Can you grab it? ".
" I can try".
"Huh"
" what"
"You're surprisingly flexible".
" I might not have spent the last decade wrestling with thugs like you, but that doesn't mean I haven't done anything to keep in good shape".
" … hm-hm".
" Eyes up here, miss Swan".
"Huh? Oh right. Sorry, your shirt is sort of gaping open. That move was too much for those poor straining buttons".
" … you're buying me a new shirt".
" What? Why".
" If you weren't grossly incompetent, we wouldn't be in this position in the first place!".
" Regina, you couldn't catch the damn dog either! And it's not like I lured it to your house or anything, I can't help it that he ran this way".
" It is your job to catch wayward animals, so if you had actually done your job-
"If I had actually- I was doing my job! It's that demon dog's fault that this happened".
" 'demon dog'. Really, dear"?
" He forced me to go into your bedroom, fall on your bed and made you fall on top of me.
" I didn't think I was that unattractive or that you still loathed me, dear, but".
" Regina-".
"if you truly feel that way, then I can just make myself sparse
" Regina, I don't -".
" as soon as we escape from this rather unfortunate –
" I am uncomfortable because I am too damn attracted to think or breathe with you this close and when you stopped talking to me when the Marian fuck-up happened I felt like I couldn't breathe either and I can't lose you like that again goddamnIT".
" ….."
" Oh shit, Regina, I didn't mean to say-
"….."
I just didn't want you to think I hate your guts".
" You like me?"
" You already knew that. You don't want to kill me, remember?".
" Or – do you want to kill me? ".
" I can hardly hear what you're saying, Emma, please speak a little louder"
" Do you want to kill me?".
" No. Of course not. I just-".
" What is it? Listen, I am really sorry if I am making you uncomfortable, and if I could free us, then I would".
" I didn't think you could feel the same way".
"uh what?".
" I feel the same way, you blonde imbecile".
" You do?".
" Yes Emma, I do. You've grown on me, somehow".
"….."
" Are you just going to grin at me for eternity now? Because-".
" May I kiss you?".
" Yes".
Lips met. Two heads yanked apart for a moment, mouths gaping, when there was a flash of rainbow-colored light.
" Was that…
" True love".
" You love me" the women gasped at the exact same moment, voices filled with wonder (and perhaps incredulity) and it was beautiful and sad and painful.
Their lips met again. And again. And again. Pongo left when he saw the queen was actually crying a little and her knight was whispering 'it's okay' before every gentle , love-filled kiss. They deserved their privacy.
And he had done his job; their happy ending had just begun