WARNING: This is a very dirty tale with inappropriate content not meant for small children. Reading this may also scare a person for life. This is your final warning.
Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.
Party Time
As the straw hat pirates ascended from the depths of the sea, they waved good-bye to all the merpeople. Unfortunately, the crew didn't see much of them at the rate the Thousand Sunny was rising. Luckily they could always hang on to the memories of their amazing adventure on Fishman Island. Never the less, they had to continue onwards to fulfill their dreams. So in a matter of minutes, they reached the surface.
Once the Thousand Sunny surfaced, the water exploded and nearly reached the sky. It was night time when the straw hats came above. The tides were calm, and the heavens were clear. All stars were shining brightly with pride. However, the stars were fireflies compared to the giant full moon, which mimicked the sun's illumination to near perfection. There wasn't a sound for miles, and the sea's salty scent conquered the atmosphere. Such conditions were too boring for Luffy.
So the eager captain got the barrels of rum the merpeople gave them, and pulled off the corks.
"Luffy, what are you doing," asked Usopp.
"Getin' ready to celebrate," the captain replied. So Luffy dashed off into ship. Moments later, he came out with wooden mugs for everyone. He then poured some rum into each of the mugs. Everyone grabbed a mug and raised them into the air.
"A toast," screamed Luffy, "to our reuniting, and for our reaching the New World!" After Luffy's declaration, the whole crew banged their mugs together, and then drank.
This rum was different from all others. It was really sweet with hints of saltiness now and then. A pleasant bubbly sensation danced across the crew's taste buds and down their throats. On the way down, the rum ran quite smoothly. Every member of the crew could feel it gently land in their bellies. The rum also instantly loosened up the crew.
It was Brook who first showed signs of the rum's effects. The skeleton leaped onto the ship's bow, with his trusty guitar on him, and announced: "Alright everybody, how bout we get this party started!" The entire crew cheered.
"Alright then," Brook replied ready to strum, "then I'm gonna play something really funky, so you all just cut loose and dance like you never danced before!" So the skeleton began rocking his guitar.
Amazing music flooded the crew's ears. It was fast paced and thunderous music that stimulated everyone's muscles. On the ship's lawn, Chopper and Franky were spinning like bottles. Meanwhile, Nami and Robin kept thrusting their asses into different crotches and rubbing them like crazy. As Brook kept playing, the crew kept dancing and drinking. However, a few pirates were only drinking after awhile.
These pirates were Zoro, Nami, Sanji, and Robin. Nami and Zoro were at the back of the ship while Robin and Sanji were by the doors that led to the ship's inner chambers. The one thing all four people had in common were their mugs full of rum.
"Damn this stuff's good," said Zoro after taking a gulp of rum.
"Yeah, no shit," Nami replied before helping herself to some more.
"Perfect way to break in the New World," toasted Zoro. After Nami finished her drink, she rose up.
"Where are you going," asked Zoro.
"This isn't the perfect way to break in the New World," said Nami using her finger to signal Zoro to follow her, "Come with me to celebrate the right way." Despite how well he knew Nami, Zoro followed her anyway. There seemed to be some unknown force manipulating his actions.
Down on the deck, Sanji and Robin were chatting a bit. Robin had just finished her mug.
"Ah, good stuff," she happily sighed.
"Not as good as you," Sanji replied flirtatiously.
"Well, I guess you really haven't changed," chuckled Robin. Suddenly, Sanji and Robin noticed Zoro and Nami strolling by.
"Hey there Nami," greeted Sanji in a flirty voice.
"Hello Sanji," said Nami opening one of the doors, "I'm going to be busy for awhile, so don't bother me, okay?" So Nami entered the ship and abandoned the stunned Sanji. When Zoro passed by, he grabbed Sanji's cheeks with one hand and growled: "If you want to live, then stay away from us until this is over." Sanji slowly nodded.
"Good," said Zoro releasing him as he entered the ship. After Zoro left, a great idea popped into Sanji's brain.
"Hey Robin," he asked in a suave tone, "Why don't we go some where more private?" Robin thought it over.
"Mmmm, maybe in another hour, or more," she answered. Suddenly, Chopper shuffled over to the duo.
"Robin, you wanted to see me," the reindeer asked.
"Sure did," Robin replied, "how about we go some where 'private' and unwind." So Robin grabbed Chopper's hoof, causing him to shiver and giggle with excitement and left Sanji as she guided the reindeer into the ship. Sanji's jaw hung for quite awhile after seeing this. In an attempt to get over it, Sanji took another sip of rum.
Meanwhile, down in the men's quarters, Zoro lit a lamp so he and Nami could see.
"You ready tough guy," asked Nami in a sexy tone.
"I was born ready," Zoro replied all macho. When Zoro took off his robe, Nami undid her belt, and then dropped it and her Clima-tact onto the floor. As Zoro took off his pants, Nami did the same. By the time Zoro's boxers were off, Nami had already lost her thong, and began twirling her bra. Her massive boobs began to bounce in synch. On those boobs were nipples as red as cherries with smooth points. Between Nami's legs was a crotch without hair. Beneath Zoro's six-pack was pubic hair hiding his large walnuts. However, his penis stood out in a way that resembled a sausage.
"So let's do this," said Zoro.
"Ah, ah, ah," Nami replied grabbing her belt and a piece of her Clima-tract, "we're gonna play for awhile first. Get down tough guy."
"You naughty bastard," giggled Zoro getting on all fours. Once Zoro was down, Nami had him bite her belt, and sat on his back. Her colossal cheeks felt soft and silky along Zoro's back.
"Alright now, getti up," cheered Nami slapping Zoro's ass with her weapon. In response, Zoro quickly crawled about the quarters, trying to mimic horse noises. This made Nami laugh and slide all around with her fluttering breasts.
Up on the deck, Luffy and Usopp were still dancing to Brook's tunes, while Sanji was drinking as he gazed at the stars.
"Oh Robin," he thought taking a sip, "how much longer?" The moment Sanji looked onto the deck, he saw Chopper dancing. He danced as though he had just experienced bliss in its purest form. Sanji ran up to him in seconds, then grabbed him and brought their eyes together.
"Are you and Robin done with…whatever you were doing," asked Sanji in a panicked state.
"We sure are," giggled Chopper, "ahh; I never thought losing my virginity would feel so amazing."
"Where is she," screamed Sanji.
"In the women's quarters," Chopper giggled harder.
"Thanks," said Sanji before dropping the reindeer and sprinting into the ship's chambers. Once Chopper hit the ground, he shrugged off the pain and resumed dancing.
It didn't take long for Sanji to find the door to the women's quarters. As he got closer to the door, Sanji got a boner that nearly ripped through his pants. However, before Sanji could enter, he heard screams inside. There were also sounds of weapons firing.
"Ooooh Yeeeeaaah baby," screamed Franky.
"Get your ass back here," shouted Robin. Sanji groaned in frustration.
"Fuck this," he thought heading out of the ship and getting a cigarette to smoke. After he inhaled, Sanji felt much better thanks to the smoke's sweet scent and taste.
Back in the men's quarters, Nami, still naked, was on one of the bottom bunks and had her hands tied behind her back with her belt, and Zoro's robe covered her mouth. Zoro, remaining nude, pulled something out from one of the lockers, and hid it behind his back. He then strolled up to Nami who let out a screech for help.
"Oh, no one can hear you," said Zoro menacingly, "you're all mine now!" Then Zoro pulled out from behind his back, a strange hammer like device with a gun's trigger. He used to bop Nami's boobs like a couple of moles. Disgusted, Nami freed herself and snatched the device from Zoro.
"Really Zoro," she asked waving the hammer in front of his face, "come on, this thing is for kids!"
"Hey," hissed Zoro, "it's my turn to pick a game. If you can think of something better, by all means suggest it!" So Nami silently bent down on the bed, and got her face near Zoro's crotch. In seconds Zoro felt something slippery slide along his jewels. This made him happy in a way he never felt before. He also enjoyed the sensation of something lightly sinking into his penis.
Later on the ship's deck, Sanji smoked while Luffy and Usopp cried despite Chopper's comfort.
"I wish Brook would keep playing," sobbed a drunk Luffy, "I want to boogie some more."
"You think that's bad," sobbed Usopp harder looking into the barrels, "we're almost out of rum. This is the best rum I've ever tasted, and we'll never get more." Once Franky came onto deck, Chopper left Luffy and Usopp and Sanji started eavesdropping.
"So, how was it," asked Chopper full of suspense.
"It was like heaven," Franky replied in a dreamy tone, "but better."
"Did she grow extra arms to massage the hard to reach places?"
"Oh yeah," giggled Franky, "and we played a great game!"
"Fuck gun?"
"Yeeaah," shouted Franky thrusting his crotch back and forth swiftly, "vaginas were everywhere, and my dick was like a rapid fire gun!"
"It's the best, isn't," sighed Chopper.
"It really is," sighed Franky. Sanji couldn't believe what he just heard. Massages and fuck guns.
"That sounds like the best sex ever," thought Sanji, "I gotta get in on that!"
So Sanji sprinted over to the women's quarters faster than ever. This time he kicked the door open shouting: "Robin my Lo-aaaaaaaahhh." He went on screaming when he saw Brook undressed and atop a naked Robin.
"Ahh," screamed Brook, "don't people these days know how to knock!"
"How the hell does this even work," yelled Sanji still in shock.
"Don't worry about it," said Robin, "now beat it." So Robin sprouted four hands outside of the room and used them to toss Sanji away.
"He has a point Robin," said Brook loud enough to be heard, "How can this work? After all, I don't have a penis since I'm a skeleton!"
"Oh Brook," laughed Robin, "You're so funny."
"Oh, you know," Brook replied, "skull Jo-hohohohohohohoooooke!"
It was then that Sanji ran the rest of the way outside. He filled up his mug and grabbed three cigarettes, hoping they could erase that horrid image from his mind.
Back on the bunk bed Zoro was plugged into Nami who bounced on top of Zoro at a steady pace. The adrenaline seemed to finally wear off, yet still maintained its pleasant effects.
"This was so much fun," said Nami.
"Oh yeah," grumbled Zoro.
"What," asked Nami getting angry, " what did I do?"
"Nothing," answered Zoro, "I just know you're gonna charge me a hundred thousand berries like the greedy little bitch that you are." Nami smiled and circled Zoro's scared eye with her finger.
"Nope," she replied with a smile.
"Huh," said Zoro.
"You heard me," Nami replied laying her soft developed body on top of Zoro's, "I'd say we're even. My virginity for yours."
"This is your first time too," Zoro asked quite loudly. Nami nodded.
"Then how did you know how to do all that stuff?"
"Arlong did more to the people of my village than tax them," she whispered.
"You sick little," Zoro tried to say while drowsy.
"Sh," whispered Nami with a finger on her partner's lips, "that's enough for tonight. Good night." In no time at all, both Zoro and Nami were out cold.
Outside the Thousand Sunny, Luffy and Franky were having a drinking contest with Usopp and Chopper cheering them on. Sanji was still smoking and drinking to clear his head. When both contestants were down to their final mugs, Franky lost consciousness while Luffy finished.
"Yeaaah," shouted Luffy to the heavens, "I won!" It didn't take long for Luffy to get hiccups. Luffy was also dizzy and uncoordinated.
"That's how it's done," said Luffy slurred, "That's how the king of the pirates does it." Seconds later, Luffy fell flat on his face and was out like a light.
"Well," said Chopper taking on his muscular human form, "I'd better take these guys to my sick bay. They're gonna have one hell of a hangover."
"I can't believe it's all gone," sobbed Usopp looking into one of the barrels, "the greatest rum in the world, gone." By now, Sanji's mug was bare and his cigarettes were burnt out. He got over what happened with Brook but he still wanted to get laid. In the corner of his eye, he noticed how vulnerable Usopp was. It was against everything he believed in, but Sanji was drunk and desperate.
"Hey Usopp," said Sanji right behind the sniper, "Why don't we talk about how great that rum was up in the crow's nest?" Judging by the way Sanji said that and by the creepy smirk on his face, Usopp had to think of something quick.
"Uh, I better go help Chopper," he said before running to the reindeer's aid.
"Damn it," muttered Sanji, "so close."
So the depressed Sanji climbed up to the crow's nest. He wanted to be alone for awhile. Sanji felt both jealous and betrayed. Robin said she would meet up with him later, which she never did. Plus, she was willing to make love with a reindeer, a cyborg, and even a skeleton, but not him. He couldn't try anything with Nami because he never saw Zoro come back out. It was better if he didn't try his luck since Zoro didn't drink as much as he did. Being so drunk made it hard for him to climb and see what was ahead.
Once he got into the crow's nest, he found Robin in the moonlight. She was sitting on one of the workout benches all natural and laid back.
"It's about time," said Robin smiling.
"Wait a minute," shouted Sanji, "what was the deal with all that bullshit you put me through!"
"It was all for you," Robin replied making a set of hands appear from the floor.
"For me," Sanji repeated in a trance feeling his buttons and zipper getting undone.
"That's right," Robin replied slowly walking up to him, "I needed a few guinea pigs to find out what works and what doesn't for the perfect sex."
"Perfect sex," Sanji sighed as his clothes peeled off.
"Correct," whispered Robin, "now, let's make tonight magical." So Robin trapped Sanji and herself in a void of hands. Then Sanji let out a howl of victory that could be heard across the New World.
Wammyman: Don't say that I didn't warn you! I apologize for implanting painful images within your subconscious. Let this be a lesson for you not to take drinks from strangers right before a party. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to take a shower and go to confession.