A/N: SHE LIVES, YES HELLO IT IS I. I HAVE RETURNED FROM THE DEAD TO BRING YOU THIS WEIRD ASS PIECE OF SHIT THAT I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON. Just... just enjoy it and don't punch me for not updating any current fics. Also if you wish to find me on the interwebs, ie tumblr, my URL is evil-queen-aesthetic (it won't be changing for a while because let's be real; it's a bangin' URL). Enjoy!

"Afternoon Madame Mayor, what can I do for you?"
"You're late," Regina kept her eyes down; scanning over the files piled haphazardly on her mahogany desk that Emma had left on it earlier that
"Zero pleasantries as per usual," Emma slumped down into the white leather visitor's chair and chucked the Mayor a brown paper bag stamped with Granny's insignia on it, "And I'm late because I was getting you food. Have you eaten at all today?"
Regina sighed and sat up straight; stretching out her shoulders and neck. She unrolled the top of the slightly crumpled bag and inspected the goods; it was her favourite, kale salad with extra dressing. Emma radiated smugness as Regina removed the plastic container from the bag. The blonde pulled her feet up and rested them on the edge of the Mayor's desk,
"You're welcome," Emma sung as she watched Regina pry off the lid and mix the leaves in with the dressing. Regina tapped her ball point pen against Emma's dirty boots, and the blonde reluctantly removed them; accidentally nudging the Mayor's filing trays in the process.
"Shit sorry," Emma apologised as organised files slid out of the trays and onto the desk, "I'll fix it,"
Having a mouthful of kale salad, Regina was unable to stop Emma as she rounded the desk and started cleaning,
"Is that… are they…?" Emma pulled a roll of candy hearts from the mess. Regina furiously chewed her large mouthful of kale as Emma snickered to herself,
"Well, well, well, who knew our Madame Mayor had a soft spot for kiddie candy,"
"Ms Swan!" Regina croaked as the kale struggled to go down, "give them back!"
"Aw, you're so cute when you're stroppy," Emma mocked as she ripped the wrapper off of the hearts, "hmm, let's see…"
Regina stood up forcefully and Emma instantly took a step back, still laughing. Emma hopped over the desk as Regina stomped her way towards the giggling,
"Give them back, they're mine!"
Ignoring the childish brunette, Emma peeled the first heart from the roll, "aw Regina, this one says 'so fine',"
"Emma!" the Mayor tried to swipe the candy away but the Sheriff consistently kept them out of reach from the smaller woman,
"Honey bun," Emma popped another heart into her mouth and chewed as Regina sighed.
"Has anyone told you lately how insufferable you are?"
"Yes; you," the blonde removed another heart from the roll, "whoops, things are about to get real saucy up in here because guess what this one says?"
"Perhaps 'you're an idiot'?"
"Ouch Regina, but no," Emma held the little purple heart between her forefinger and thumb with the writing facing the Mayor. The heart had 'kiss me' written on it.
"How 'bout it," Emma waggled her eyebrows jokingly at the brunette sighed, "aye Madame Mayor?"
"Fuck it," Regina grabbed the lapels of Emma's red leather jacket and yanked them towards her; her mauve painted lips instantly meeting with Emma's chap sticked ones.

At first the kiss was strained; neither woman realising the craziness of the situation. But once Emma calmed and deepened the kiss, Regina was happy to slither her hands up into Emma's hair and grip the golden tresses tightly. Emma pushed the two of them towards a wall as Regina attempted to climb up the lithe blonde's frame and hook her legs around her waist. Emma cupped Regina's arse as the Mayor's back hit the wall,
"Well, fuck me," Emma voice was strained as Regina nipped at the Sheriff's neck.
"Is there any candy hearts that have that particular phrase on it?" Regina
"No, but I'll fuck you; candy hearts be damned," Emma pressed the Mayor harder into the wall as her hands slipped higher up her skirt. The roll of candy hearts fell from the busied hands of the Sheriff and spilled out onto the tiled floor. All shattered except for one that said 'be mine'.

A/N: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THAT WAS BUT ANYWAYS, I HOPE YOU LIKED IT. /p
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