A/N: One shot. This fic traces Emma and Regina's relationship development through Emma's emotions. I hope you enjoy this!
Edit: As a guest pointed out, I don't want to spoil the ending but there will be Outlaw Queen in this story.
Art can come in many forms: doodles, sketches, street graffiti, and galleries. Then there are the kinds of art that the poets use in words, the photographers capture in shots, and the dancers grace in song. But you don't need to be skilled in a particular field or gifted to excel to create art. Emma Swan believed that art existed in everyone. In fact, it could possibly be the first essence of the human soul. In that context, if the human heart were to be illustrated by a cell, Emma figured the mitochondria of it would be art.
Brushing these thoughts momentarily aside, she stepped away from the harsh chill of winter and into the warm diner, shooting a small smile to the tall brunette waitress and ordering a cup of hot coffee. One month ago, Ruby would have given her a look. But today, the waitress knew all too well the reason for her change in preferences. It had been a big event after all. Leaving the tip on the counter, Emma brought along her hot beverage and moved to a seat beside the window, yet another unsurprising change. It was a quiet Saturday morning and the only other people in the diner (apart from her and Ruby) were a couple eating and an old man whose face was buried behind the paper.
Roaming her eyes toward the couple, Emma let her thoughts drift back.
She had first discovered emotions when she was three. And when she meant discover, it meant a feeling so visceral and raw that it swelled within her as if someone had unscrewed a bottle whose contents had been dying for release. To a child, it had been strange to have the two people making up your first memories leave you in the white building (as she began to call it) all alone with the other kids and strangers with saccharine smiles. Of course a mere three year old would not have known what it was then, but Emma would later find out that the first strongest emotion she had felt was that of hope. That maybe somewhere in between the lonely playtimes and mushy porridge, the people who gave her last name would come back for her.
[-]
Hope
"How may I help you, Sheriff?" Regina looked up from her paperwork and narrowed her eyes at the fidgeting blonde in front of her.
Emma tried not to shift on her feet. She had planned to come in swaggering with confidence but something in the domineering brunette just bit at her nerves. Still, she cleared her throat and straightened her stance.
"I want to discuss with you the arrangements we can have regarding Henry."
"And what makes you think I would do that?"
Emma felt the annoyance brimming in her, but tried her best to force it down. "I would just like to spend some time with my son and I was hoping-"
"Henry is my son," Regina snapped, cutting her off abruptly. "Also, a word of advice: hope is just a disappointment in disguise, nothing like its romanticized notion. So I suggest you stop entertaining yourself with ridiculous ideas."
The brunette then shuffled the papers on her desk, suddenly appearing seemingly disinterested in her as Emma rolled her eyes and waited, not willing to bruise her ego and back down. Then with a wave of dismissal, Regina said, "I'm sure you know where the door is, Miss Swan."
And that ended the discussion, leaving a peeved Emma who eventually turned toward scouring for ways to get what she wanted.
[-]
No doubt, the days of staring out the window overlooking the street from the white building can never go forgotten. It had become such a routine that after every subsequent return to the white building by different foster parents, Emma would go to that same window and sit there for hours. As she watched the people on the street busy about their lives, Emma imagined a life where she would have loving parents to celebrate New Year's, birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas all in the same year. But Emma knew this was just a dream that she can never reach.
Just like that, anger subsequently became a huge part of her life. It was easier to be angry, Emma figured, than to be sad. At least with anger, you could feel something that was evidence you're still alive.
[-]
Anger
The memories flashed through her like a silent movie once she touched the book and Emma felt sick to the stomach. Henry had been right all along, and she had been foolishly 'playing along' until he had to sacrifice eating the poisoned turnover to prove himself to her.
Her tears threatened to fall but quickly burgeoned into ire boiling within her as the woman, the culprit who was behind all this entered the hospital room, immediately calling out for her son.
"You did this," Emma muttered more to herself than to anyone else. And then being unable to think rationally, she crossed the room in quick steps to grab the brunette and dragged her into the supply closet.
"You did this!"
Emma let her anger speak for her, the utter disgust and rage she had for the woman increased with every shove, dead set on hurting this woman who had singlehandedly orchestrated every goddamned thing. Ignoring Regina's incredulous cries, Emma pinned her against the metal closet.
"He's sick because of you! The apple turnover you gave me, he ate it!"
"… What? It was meant for you!"
The shock that registered on the brunette's face which quickly turned into a less than remorseful remark was enough to fuel Emma's anger further as she gripped the other woman tighter, ready to rip her apart.
But Emma knew she couldn't, she needed Regina to save Henry. Which was why even after Regina admitted to everything, Emma had willingly, albeit temporarily, set aside her anger to work with the other woman for Henry.
[-]
"Hey."
Ruby's voice broke Emma from her reverie and she turned toward her friend. "Aren't you supposed to work?"
Ruby shot her a small smile and settled in the seat next to hers. "The diner is pretty empty today, and even if it isn't, that's not my concern. My concern is you."
Feeling the clench in her chest, Emma only took another sip from her coffee and broke Ruby's gaze, looking out of the window. The waitress said nothing, only watching and patiently waiting.
Finally, Emma sighed. "Look Rubes, I appreciate all this. But what's happened has happened, and I have no intention of changing anything."
"Why are you so calm about this?"
Emma closed her eyes. In truth, she was a wreck. Who wouldn't, when put in her situation?
"There is a difference between being calm and acceptance," Emma replied when she finally trusted her voice to speak. "The former comes after the latter and right now, I can say I'm somewhere in the middle."
To her credit, Ruby only sighed and got up, preparing to go back to work. But not before asking Emma, "So you do not regret your earlier decision?"
If Emma possessed the respective muscles, she would have laughed. Regret had always been a funny emotion, how people engaged with it only after doing the action that is the root of their so-called regret. Emma can never understand how it works like, why do it in the first place if you know you're going to feel bad about it later? Then again, emotions just like art are hard to fully understand.
But today, laughter failed her (and possibly for the rest of her life from here on now) and she only shook her head.
"When I made that decision, I made sure it was something I wanted. Because in the end, you can't regret something you once desired."
[-]
Regret
The tension was so palpable in the air around them Emma could have sworn she heard it reverberated off the walls of the mines and into her thundering heart. The glowing blue diamond spun slowly between them and floated on magic, like a ticking time bomb alluding as to when the hour of death might arrive.
Regina's face looked back at her with open vulnerability and pleading in her eyes, a kind of display Emma had rarely seen the brunette in. The words from Regina's mouth still echoed in her head as she dawned on the situation at present, the sacrifices Regina had prepared herself to make.
"You're not coming with us, aren't you?" Emma's voice barely came out as a whisper as fear surged within her. "When you said goodbye to Henry… you were saying goodbye."
Emma felt her heart clench as the woman opposite her looked down at the device between them, almost as if accepting what is to happen of her fate. It was funny how they had ended up to where they are from where they first started, and like a child robbed of her candy, Emma felt like bursting into tears there and then. But she fought hard to keep her emotions at bay and she clenched her fist instead, an attempt to force herself to keep strong for Regina, no matter how little result the effort returned.
"He knows I love him, doesn't he?" Regina's voice came out strangled and hoarse, and Emma could not take it anymore.
"Regina no, there has got to be another way-"
"You were right, you know," Regina interrupted with no hint of malice in her tone. "Everything that's happening, it's my fault. I created this device, it's only fitting that it takes my life."
"What am I supposed to tell Henry?"
The brunette gave a sad smile. "Tell him that in the end… it wasn't too late for me to do the right thing."
It was too much to feel and Emma felt herself on the brink of breaking down. "Regina, please…" she pleaded.
"Everybody looks at me as the Evil Queen, including my son," Regina replied, sounding almost defeated. "Let me die as Regina."
That's right, Emma thought. However Henry or her parents or the rest of the residents in Storybrooke might see Regina, to her, Regina had always been just Regina. There were definitely times when the domineering Madame Mayor would float into her memories, but Emma could not deny the times she really saw Regina as herself: the effort she made to refrain from magic, the curse she absorbed just by bringing them back from the Enchanted Forest, the hope brimming in her eyes when she invited her to the party, the hurt and betrayal that resonated from her voice and seeped into Emma's veins when she accused the brunette of murder. All these and many others, no matter if it was just a fleeting glimpse.
Emma watched as Regina lifted her hands and closed her eyes to prepare. Try as she might, she could not do it. She could not just stand there and see the other mother of her son sacrifice herself for a whole town just to want to be the good guy for once. Choking back a sob, Emma spun around with conflicting feelings.
It was finally so clear, all this time their relationship had been thrown off by miscommunication and misunderstanding. They had been running in circles all this while only for one of them to have to make a detour in order to meet. Alas all magic comes with a price, in this case Emma realized, the price is too much and now she was not willing to pay it. That's how people function: they fail to see the one thing that had been blatantly in front of them only until they reach an ultimatum.
Regina.
In this moment of clarity, Emma steeled herself and turned toward the brunette, a sudden possession of determination and strength renewed with this newfound insight.
"Regina I…"
Need you, want you, don't want you to leave? The words died on her throat and Emma forgotten what she had wanted to say because that was also the moment Regina chose to unleash herstrength and strike the device with her magic, bright and almost pink light shooting from her palms. Emma watched painfully as a single tear rolled down the older woman's cheek, Regina not even daring to look into her eyes.
She will never know, Emma thought as she took in the scene. I'm such a fucking coward. And then for the second time that day, Emma spun around from Regina.
[-]
That was probably the one and only time in Emma's life Emma called 'regret'. Even though she had returned to the mines and subsequently helped Regina with magic that ended up saving all of them, the blonde still could not bring herself to tell Regina how much she actually meant to her. Not with Henry in impending danger and the lot of them in Neverland for almost a week. When they fought tooth and nail and finally overcame disputes to get Henry back, not a single writer or his pen on this earth can put into words how happy both of them were and Emma felt her heart swell just by seeing Regina's smile in getting their son back.
Not her smirk nor 'mayoral' smiles, but her smile, uniquely Regina's. And it was there on that ship right after Regina put Henry's heart back to its usual place that Emma knew without a single doubt that she had fallen in love with the brunette. But even that needed immense bravery to admit.
[-]
Courage
It had been some weeks since they all returned to Neverland and life became quite mundane. Regina and Emma had been rotating the days as to when they could take of Henry but as of late, the three of them had been spending more time together and secretly, Emma loved every minute of it and of course, so did Henry.
Of course Regina was still her old self but after they had gotten back, she had started to show a gentler side to Emma and being more polite to others, and it thrilled the blonde to no end. It was one thing harbor a major love crush on your son's other mother but it was another to act on it. Every touch, every smile directed to her, every goodbye hug (no matter how platonic Emma tried to pull off) has got Emma thirsting and wanting more. But there were so many obstacles in the way.
"What's stopping you?" Ruby had asked when Emma lamented her relationship woes to her on one of their girl's night out.
"Like the complicated history between her and my mother?" Emma sputtered and gestured wildly, obviously a tad bit intoxicated. "And like how she's way out of my league? Or like how she might not be ready for romantic love and just want to focus on Henry? How about like the possibility she might not be gay?"
Ruby shook her head at her friend's drunken state. "Ems, everything you've just pointed out are only excuses to not act on your feelings! Forget all rationality, stop thinking and just go tell her!"
"But what if I fuck up? What if I get rejected?" Emma whined, downing another tequila shot. "And don't you dare smother me with the 'at least you tried' bullcrap."
Ruby nodded seriously. "Fine, answer me one question and you'll decide for yourself whether you wanna tell her or not or continue being a lovesick fool in the background."
"Shoot."
"Do you love her?"
If she were a sober woman, Emma would have pondered the past, present and future carefully before answering the question. But like every wise and intoxicated person, Emma Swan listened to her heart. And like how every act of reckless courage starts with the famous quote, Emma Swan said "Fuck it" and threw her car keys to Ruby.
To be honest, the blonde had expected the older brunette to lash out at her for banging the front door at two in the morning. But Regina had only raised an eyebrow at the drunk blonde and ushered her in, quickly thanking Ruby before dismissing her with an "I can take it from here".
In her haziness and drifting consciousness, Emma had briefly remembered Regina changing her and cleaning her up with a wet cloth before tucking her into her own bedroom. She did not get to say it that night after all.
The next morning had been a little less than awkward and Emma felt the need to explain herself as she watched Regina busy herself with breakfast.
"You're lucky you didn't wake our son up."
Emma could not help the smile that flashed across her face with Regina's use of the term 'our' when describing Henry. "I'm sorry Regina, I just needed to tell you something last night but then I figured it was better to tell you when I was sober."
She watched as the brunette dried her hands on her cloth and turned to face her, a puzzled yet curious expression donning her features. "What is it?"
Suddenly feeling like a high school teenager, Emma licked her lips nervously and stuttered. "I-I-I uh… I like you, you know. Like like you, romantically I mean, I don't know. I've been feeling this way for a while now. Actually it's been since quite a while but I don't know how to tell you or if you'll turn away from me if I ever tell you. But it's okay, if you don't like me that way I just wanted you to kn-"
Emma was rambling she knew, but she couldn't stop due to her nerves and the only thing that stopped her was well, Regina's lips on hers.
And as she sunk into the embrace and felt the brunette's fingers intertwine with her blonde tresses, Emma knew that this was probably the start of something good. When they finally pulled apart, Regina had only softly smiled and looked back up at her.
"Emma Swan," she breathed, looking so effortlessly gorgeous as if she haven't been ravishing the mouth of the blonde just moments ago. "The way I feel about you has been so close to love for so long, you don't even know."
And Emma smiled, because for once in her life, courage had not come in the form of alcohol.
[-]
Love… such a strong word. Emma wrapped her hands around the coffee cup and realized the coffee had gone cold. Pity, she thought. There was still a quarter of it left.
Love is like coffee, Emma mused. And its temperature, like passion. Everybody likes a hot morning cup of coffee but nobody likes it when it turns cold, opting to throw the coffee away even if there was still half a cup of it left. Likewise, when there is no more passion in love, people give it up. Everyone asks where love goes when it's gone, but the truth is: love has always been there, it's the passion for it that has died down. That's why you never really stop loving your first love or why you never really forget the moments in your previous relationships. You just choose to stop chasing something you've lost hope in.
[-]
Love
Of all the emotions Emma felt about Regina, love was definitely the strongest.
In the weeks that their relationship had become public, everyone was happy for them, even her parents had embraced it. To Emma, it had been a long honeymoon period. The secret kisses shared, long and lingering looks over the table, rough but passionate sex between her and Regina were like an extra kick in her life. But having Regina and loving her was the reason why Emma looked forward to everyday.
It was almost a routine, how every evening when they went to Granny's for dinner as a family and sat at their usual booth, Ruby greeting them with a huge smile and serving them their specials, sometimes on the house when Granny wasn't around. Or how every weekend spent at the mansion now became every day and how the people of Storybrooke had voted them back to their old positions. Because hey, look at that: the Sheriff and the Mayor together, an epic love story!
It almost felt like Emma was living in a fairytale and now, she finally understood why people write or sing or talk about love in such a romanticized way, because it really felt wonderful. Even the term 'wonderful' felt so underrated to the feeling she was basking in.
"I love you," Emma had finally broken the wall and said it one night after a long period of lovemaking as she lay naked on top of Regina, just feeling the brunette breathe underneath her own chest.
"I love you too," Regina said back in earnest, wrapping her arms to cling the woman above her closer. They fell asleep like that, and for the many subsequent consecutive nights after.
It was her happy ending, and Emma believed it so much because love was the answer, was it not?
[-]
The bell to the diner rang faintly in Emma's ears as she continued staring out the window, her thoughts blocking out her senses. Maybe a loss of passion was how marriages fail and people sink into depression, nobody makes the effort to care anymore. Not even her.
"Ma!"
Emma nearly jumped out of her skin at the sudden hug and when she realized who it was, she gave genuine smile and hugged back tightly.
"Henry!" She exclaimed, beaming. "What brings you here?"
"We came for breakfast," Henry replied in his pubescent voice and Emma chuckled. Even in his adolescent age, Henry still looked adorable. But her lifted mood was short lived as she glanced back toward the door, heart in her throat. Henry noticed and dimmed down a bit, an unspoken apology in his eyes.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
Emma gritted her teeth and forced out a smile. Such a question had been thrown to her many times over the past weeks and she had been irritated.
"Yes Henry, I'm fine."
"But-"
"Hello, Miss Swan."
"Madame Mayor." Emma nodded politely.
Her voice had not betrayed her, thankfully. But it felt like the first time her world crashed around her as Emma slowly looked up to see the smiling brunette. Everything about her was still the same, her voice and her hair and her face. Emma could not remember the last time she had been this close to the woman ever since…
She shook her head and cleared her thoughts as Henry stood up beside his mother, him almost as tall as her now.
"Mom, is it okay if I sit with Ma for a while?"
Emma wanted to protest, wanted to invite Regina to join them too. But Regina only chuckled and smoothed her son's hair back fondly. "Of course! I shan't disturb you two!" Then she moved to a booth a few tables from Emma's, their booth. Emma looked back at her son for explanation who had been watching as well, a glimmer of hope in her eyes.
"She…" Henry glanced back at his birth mother nervously, afraid to give her false hope. "She still sits there, mostly. Even when she comes to the diner alone."
"Do you know why?"
"I asked her, once. She said she feels something whenever she sits there, like a misplaced nostalgia. So I asked her, 'What do you feel?' and she replied, 'You wouldn't believe it if I told you'."
Henry stopped and Emma waited impatiently, "Well?"
Henry swallowed, still unsure whether it was a good thing or not to be telling Emma this. "So then I was like 'Try me' and she said, 'I feel… heartache. The kind of heartache where there once was love, now had been lost and can never be returned'."
Emma stared dumbly at her son as she took in what he had just said to her. It was true; no one can ever deny the emotion your heart paints. No matter under what kinds of circumstance. In the end, we're all helpless slaves to our heart.
[-]
Helplessness
"She's dying, Ms. Swan," Mr. Gold's revelation stunned Emma.
"… What? B-b-but how? She seemed fine just two days ago!"
"If I am not wrong, it is one of those plants in Neverland that had cut into her skin. Something that only started its poison quite a period of time after the infection."
"Dreamshade?" Emma asked, remembering the incident her father had.
She watched as the man sighed and shook his head, Henry clinging onto her arm whilst Belle stood at a corner, silent with sorrow.
"No," his soft voice finally broke the silence of the pawnshop. "Something else which I am still unsure about. The species of plants in Neverland are of a wide range; there are still so many types undiscovered."
"You have to save her, please!" Henry's plead gave way to tears and he ran to his brunette mother, who was still lying on the makeshift bed at the back of the shop, semi-conscious. Emma followed suit, sitting beside the older woman and soothing her hair back.
Belle stepped forward as well, landing an arm on her lover. "Rumple, is there nothing you can do?"
Mr. Gold looked towards them and sighed. "There is something that can help: a potion to cure this."
Instantly, Emma was up and about on her feet. "Where is it?"
"But," Mr. Gold looked at her warningly and Emma swallowed hard. Of course, all magic came with a price. "It will take away some of her memories."
"What?" Emma snapped, incredulous. "Why?"
The man shrugged. "I really do not know. Magic itself is already so hard to comprehend."
Looking back toward Regina who lay unmoving, Emma asked, "Which memories?"
"The ones she shared with the person she loves most."
Instinctively, Henry and Emma looked at each other. As if sensing the question and awkward tension, Mr. Gold added, "Romantically."
Just like that, Emma felt her stomach drop and she felt her world stop spinning. "Me…? She'll forget me?"
"No!" Henry cried, rushing toward his other grandfather and tugging on his suit. "Please, there has got to be another way! Mom can't forget Emma, she loves her too much!"
Almost apologetically, Mr. Gold sighed again as Belle moved and slowly coaxed Henry to release his tight grip on the elder man.
"It's because of the way your mother loves too much, that's why she has to forget."
Henry started to sob and was pulled into an embrace by Belle as Mr. Gold walked to his cupboard and took out a flask filled with black liquid. Emma stared dumbly, the dread beginning to rise in her chest with every step the older man took toward her.
Finally stopping in front of her, Mr. Gold handed Emma the bottle. "This will cure her."
When Emma didn't move, Mr, Gold took her hand in his and gently placed the potion in her palm, a gesture that surprised the blonde and caused her to look into his brown eyes.
"Take it as a test," he said quietly. "If she does forget you, at least you are the one she loves the most. If not, well, then she will not forget you. Nobody loses."
Taking in his words, Emma held the glass up with shaking hands and watched the opaque liquid swirl, moving to stand by Regina.
"I… I love her…" she whispered, tears already starting to spill. She was in a state of utter conflict and it was almost driving her insane. If love had a limit, Emma was sure her love for Regina had exceeded it. The thought of Regina forgetting her, forgetting every single intimate moment they shared, it cut Emma like a tear on her art canvas, a scalpel slicing through her heart. But the thought of standing around helpless as Regina breathes her last was even worst. Emma knew she had to decide, but try as she might to look at the situation from Mr. Gold's point of view, it hurt all the same.
Slowly inching forward, she placed a light kiss on Regina's lips, a tiny glimmer of hope for the result after 'True Love's kiss'. But as expected, Regina did not stir and Emma bit her lip to control the tears. They fell anyway.
Unscrewing the bottle, Emma was about to tip its contents into Regina's lips when a small hand seized her arm. She turned to look at Henry's teary eyes, scared and hurt.
"Are you sure?" His voice came out a whisper and broken, strained from his previous crying.
Emma gritted her teeth and clenched her fist. "Regina isn't dying."
Then, with a final kiss to Regina's lips and a breath of 'I love you' ghosting into her ear, Emma gently pulled Regina's lips open and poured the liquid in.
They waited a few minutes and Emma held her breath as she held Regina in her arms. Then suddenly, the brunette took in a huge gasp of air and opened her eyes.
"Mom!" Henry surged forward, enveloping his mother into a hug. "You're alive!"
Regina smiled and hugged her son back taking in her surroundings. She nodded toward Mr. Gold and Belle before fixing her eyes on the blonde sheriff. Emma held her breath not knowing what to expect, her heart thundering so loudly it was making her dizzy.
Henry smiled at his birth mother, a silent encouragement of hope. "Mom, Emma was the one who fed you the potion that could cure you. Remember?"
"How can I forget, dear?" Regina smiled as she struggled to stand, Emma immediately rushing to her aid.
"I can handle it, Ms. Swan. Thank you."
And just like that, Emma froze and her heart stopped. The room went silent as Belle and Mr. Gold exchanged glances and silently retreated from the back room, giving the family their space. Henry's hope dissolved as he watched Emma take a shaky step back, her dam threatening to break.
Regina, still not sensing anything amiss, noticed the blonde staring at her. "What? Why are you staring at me like that?"
It was so cold, Emma thought. The way Regina stared at her was so cold and unloving, as if she was just any ordinary town civilian.
"Mom, you really don't remember?" Henry's small voice broke the tension in the room.
"Remember what?"
"You and Emma-"
"Henry, don't." Emma managed out a croak, trying her best to keep herself from breaking down in front of the brunette. It would not be the same even if Regina were to know about their history. Suddenly, Emma felt it difficult to breathe and felt nauseous, the impact of the truth weighing down on her.
Regina looked at her with concern lacing her gaze and for a moment, Emma believed the brunette had remembered her again. The sighs and moans they had exchanged, the kisses so freely given, the L word so easily said. But that felt so far away now.
"Ms. Swan, are you alright?"
"Don't touch me!" Emma held her hand up to stop the woman from coming any closer. It had already felt suffocating to take in the same air as the brunette, God knows how she'll break if Regina actually touched her.
Unable to help herself anymore, Emma fled the shop and ran. It didn't matter if Henry's castle was quite a distance away, didn't matter if her things were still at Regina's, didn't matter if anyone on the street saw her openly sobbing and running. She just needed to escape.
[-]
Just then, a little boy squealed up to the both of them and lunged at Henry, startling the blonde out of her reverie.
"Henry!"
The older boy scooped up the younger one and ruffled his hair adoringly, smiling so wide it hurt for Emma to see.
"Roland! What did I say about running?" The man came hurrying in toward them and Emma turned to face him, jealousy surging through her chest.
"Sheriff," he formally greeted, an arm slung around Henry and Roland, who clung to his legs.
"Mr. Hood," Emma stood up as well and forced a smile.
"No please," he smiled and Emma could see how gentle his eyes were. "Robin will do."
Emma nodded then darted her eyes toward Roland, who hid behind his father's figure at her stare.
"Cute kid."
"Thanks," Robin Hood smiled and ruffled the younger boy's head. "Henry is growing to be a handsome one too!" Then as if suddenly remembering something, he dug deep into the bag he was holding and held out a neatly wrapped expensive looking chocolate bar.
"We missed you after the ceremony and couldn't give this to you in time," Robin grinned as Emma saw Regina approaching them in her peripheral vision. "These are the chocolates we gave out after the wedding."
"Yes," Regina added as she slid an arm around Robin's waist, Emma trying her best not to let the pain she was feeling inside manifest itself. "We hope you like it!"
Emma swallowed and reached to receive the gift. "Thank you," she replied but all she could look at was Regina. They held each other's gaze for a while, so many unspoken words from Emma as she tried to ignore the frantic screaming in her head to 'snap the fuck out of it'.
"Well then," Robin's voice broke their intense gaze. "How about some breakfast?"
"Yes!" Roland squealed dragging his father to the pastries on display, leaving the erstwhile family standing beside together.
"Mom." Henry slowly nudged Regina, shooting an apologetic glance at Emma. "Want to go?"
Regina looked toward her son, then back at Emma. "Henry, can I have a word with Ms. Swan alone?"
Henry's eyes widened in response and he shot his head toward Emma, who mirrored his actions. But he recovered quickly and nodded, stepping back to join his stepfather and stepbrother.
Emma felt her stomach doing flip-flops as she held the brunette's gaze, nostalgia washing over her as she remembered her first year in this town. Then, Regina reached into her handbag and pulled out a photograph before handing it to Emma. Staring at it, Emma cannot help the slow smile that stretched across her face, no matter how much it hurt, as she remembered when it had been taken.
It had been their third month together and she had decorated the inside of the house with lights complete with a three course meal which she had cooked herself (of course with a little help from Ruby but Regina had not needed to know that). After the dinner, Henry had offered to help take a picture for them and they both agreed, Regina moving to sit on top of Emma's lap as the blonde wrapped both her arms around the petite woman's waist, head resting upon Regina's shoulder. That was the reason for photographs, Emma supposed. To capture a moment where the people in it were still the same.
"I found this under the bedside drawer in my room." Regina said and her statement held so many questions. "Henry once told me that the potion took away some memories… Is this one of them?"
"Yes," Emma handed the photograph back to her, keeping her face as stoic as possible. When the brunette remained quiet, Emma elaborated more but treaded carefully.
"We… we were really close."
Regina's mouth formed a silent 'o' as she nodded and studied the photograph further, looking as though she wanted to say something more. As if having made a mental decision, she shook her head to clear her thoughts and smiled back at the blonde.
Mayoral, just like to her town civilians.
"Well Ms. Swan, thank you for clearing my doubts. I hope you have a nice day. I'll contact you if there are any changes as to whenever Henry goes over to stay at your place."
With that, she spun on her heel and left Emma standing there, feeling rejected and relived all at the same time. Giving a small wave to Henry, Emma quickly shrugged on her coat and left the diner. If it hurt to see the person you love, love someone else, then it hurt like fucking hell to have her forget who you were too.
Her heart was like a canvas, Emma thought. And the emotions of it were the art painted on the white paper. If she were to pick up her brush to paint Regina Mills, the strongest colours would be that of hope, anger, regret, courage, love and helplessness. But at times, even artists wobble and paint smudge. As beautiful as a picture you might have painted, everything can be destroyed in a split second with one move; just like how in one second, everything can be changed with one decision.
For better or for worst, one canvas can only fit one painting, and maybe it was time for Emma to start a new piece of art.