My name is Amanda Loren Smith, and I am a high-school student, which sucks, seeing as I hate just about everything regarding school. I just moved to Forks, Washington, which also sucks because it's rainy as hell almost every day of the year. Luckily, I'll fit right in, seeing as I'm pale as a fish's belly (something I've been made fun of by other girls for years) and my waist-length hair is so blonde it almost looks bleached. I guess I'm lucky to have blue eyes, since they're nice enough, but everyone is constantly asking me if I'm German. And I'm not. Don't get me wrong, it's not an insult, but if there's one thing I'm proud of, it's being a fucking American. We have it good over here. Little bitches be whining that they're lives are so bad on fucking Facebook. Please. If you use a smartphone to complain about your problems, you're fucking raving mad.
On top of looking like I've crawled out of a cave somewhere because of my light colouring, I'm skinny as shit. Even though I eat cake and chocolate like they're going out of style, I can't ever gain weight, which sucks because I have a flat chest. It would've been nice if all of the calories could go somewhere, but nature has a fucking cruel sense of humour. Especially in my case. I've been moving around from foster home to foster home like some sort of pathetic dog that everybody pities but nobody wants to keep because my parents ditched me. I'm glad I don't remember them; that would just make it more difficult to be moving all the time. Honestly, I'd rather live on my own so I could stay in one place, but I'm sixteen and have not been marked an emancipated minor. And I am also too lazy to figure out how to become an emancipated minor. Really, I don't care much anymore. As long as there's food; it's the fucking best thing since-well, more food.
Contrasting greatly with my pale complexion is my entirely black wardrobe. When the universe comes up with a darker colour, you can be sure that I'll be wearing it. I like the Goth style and everything, but I don't want to waste money on expensive clothes, seeing as I don't have a job (yet, I plan on getting one) or money, so I just stick with plain black clothing. Of course, I've been bullied for my unfortunate propensity regarding dark colours, but I move around so often that the bullying never lasts too long. One gets used to being called a "giant fucking bat" after a few years anyways, so I've learned to ignore comments about my clothing. Mostly.
At any rate, today is my first day of school at Fork's only high-school, and I've been spending the last few minutes before leaving the house mentally preparing myself for any harsh comments that might fly my way. I may be used to being harassed and bullied, but any kid can tell you (especially me) that the scars from bullying never really go away. I'd probably self-harm, actually, but I write depressing poetry instead of actually solving my problems. Which, ironically enough, is what bothers me so much about other teenagers; they never know how to solve their problems either, but they complain about it on every social site to date. Maybe it's because I lost everything, but I'm always thinking about how grateful I am about the things I have, even if I'm dealing with issues. I know from experience that good things can't last forever, so it's best to appreciate them while you can.
Marie, my new foster parent, knocks softly on my bedroom door, interrupting my train of thought. "Come in!" I call from the bed, where I've been sitting and contemplating life. It's a bad habit of mine. I really should stop overthinking things.
She opens the door timidly, and I smile as soon as I see her. Most of the foster parents I've had in the past have been forgettable, but Marie has been a blessing in my life. Not many people are willing to shelter an orphan, let alone one that is a hormonal teenager, so she's become something of a hero in my eyes. Marie is very sweet, and, with her big brown eyes and matching hair, she reminds me of a timid doe. It's impossible to even pretend to be sad when you're in the same room with her. Her delicate features smile back at me as she steps forward into the room.
"We'll leave for school in about ten minutes, okay?" She says, and I nod as my smile grows. Sweet Marie. She knows I don't like rain too much (she's the first one to actually ask), so she's going to drive me to school every day that the weather is wet (which is almost every day, but she says she doesn't mind). I am hoping that I stay with her long enough to get my learner's permit and then my license; it's hard to practice driving when you're constantly packing your bags.
Marie leaves the room again and I stand up off of the bed and stretch. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that the feeling of relief associated with stretching tired muscles is the best feeling in the world. Only second to eating chocolate. Oh, god. Now I want chocolate. I think I'm addicted to it, but I really don't care. There is nothing, nothing they can say to make me stop eating it.
Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see something move. My head whips around almost of its own accord to stare at the spot, but there's nothing there. Well, except for a cute circular rug on the floor. I bend down to examine the fuzzy blue fabric, thinking that maybe I had seen a bug, but there was nothing there. Well, first day of school coming up, and I'm hallucinating. Great.
I grabbed my bag from the chic armchair across the room from my bed (Marie was an interior designer, which I think is cool beyond belief) and walked out of my room, closing the door behind me. The room really is nice. It has a desk made of some nice dark wood (trees are trees, to me, I have no idea what kind of wood it is), a bed with a dark blue duvet, the little creamy armchair across from the bed, a bookshelf of the same wood as the desk (I think), and an adorable lamp that looks like a giant white Chinese lantern.
Walking down the stairs and to the front door, I can hear Marie moving about the kitchen. She emerges from there with a cute (I have never said cute more times than I have today) lunchbox.
"I packed your lunch." She says softly.
I blush lightly in embarrassment and meekly take the bag from her, putting it in my backpack. "Thank you, Marie."
She smiles softly again. "You're welcome, Amanda."
"M-Marie?" I ask. She looks up at me questioningly. "Y-you can just call me Mandy…"
She nods and smiles even wider, and motions for me to open the door. We go outside and get in her car, a cute (I really need to stop calling things cute) little Jeep Wrangler. Despite her rather cultured appearance, Marie loves four-wheeling almost as much as she likes looking at swatches of fabric (which she really likes to do-I will never go to a fabric store with her again; we were there for three hours). It was a bit of a surprise to find this out, but I suppose that even the classiest people have to let their hair down sometimes.
I stare out the window as she drives me to school, and I examine the raindrops running down the window. Ever since I was little, I'd choose two raindrops and then sit there and watch, entranced, to see which hit the bottom of the window first. Call it weird, but I fucking love being eccentric. I swear that I could watch rain all day. Screw sports. Not even the Olympics are this riveting.
As my chosen raindrops reach the end of their race, I see it again out of the corner of my eye. A weird shadow-looking thingy (English has never been my strong point). And, again, I look at the spot as quickly as I can, but it vanishes out of view before I can be sure it was there.
I shake my head a little as Marie pulls up to the school, hoping that my little hallucinations are just from a lack of sleep. Luckily, she's paying attention to the road and doesn't see my little spaz attack.
She stops the Jeep at the front of the school and I get out, thank her, and head to the office. I open the door, and my eyes are assaulted with the colour green; planted pots are everywhere, and in this tiny room the effect is slightly overwhelming. Blinking rapidly, I shyly walk over to the desk manned by an aged woman.
Before I can even speak, she's babbling at high speed.
"Oh, my! You must be . What a pleasure. We haven't had any new students from out of the area so far this year." As she continues talking, she hands me a paper and tells me to get all of my teachers to sign it. I'm not surprised; it's a common ritual to totally embarrass new students because teachers love to make you introduce yourself after they sign the paper. I thank her for the paper and leave before my ears fall off. The receptionist seems like a nice enough woman, but I'm really not someone who talks a lot.
I try to walk quickly to the building where English, my first class, is. It's a weird school, made of separate buildings. Most schools I've been to have been one big building with a few trailers outside. I kind of like it, though, even though I don't like the idea of having to walk outside between classes.
I come to the door of the English building and steel myself for any possibility. Pulling open the door, I'm glad to see that I'm early. Usually I'm just on time, but I'm hoping that coming early might spare me the fate of introducing myself to the class. The teacher, a middle-aged man with laugh lines, looks up as I enter.
"Hi. I'm, uh, Amanda, th-the new student." I say, cursing myself inwardly for the way my voice trembles. I've always stuttered but it's not something you get used to.
"Ah, Miss Amanda. I am , your English teacher." He says warmly, motioning for me to approach his desk. He gives me a great big smile and I smile faintly in return. I like most adults. They don't shove you in lockers. I walk over and stand a respectable distance from him after handing him my paper. He signs it with relish and hands it back with a wink. "Just choose a seat anywhere. No assigned seats here."
My eyebrows shoot up in surprise. He chuckles.
"It's a small school we've got, so we try to keep everything friendly." He says. As I pick a seat near the front and sit down, he continues talking. "I won't make you stand up in front of the class to introduce yourself, by the way." He chuckles, and I swear I could sing. If I could. I can't sing.
"Why not?" I ask curiously.
He thinks for a moment, apparently trying to find the right words. "In a small town, everyone knows everyone, so naturally it was town gossip when it was heard that Miss Marie was going to be fostering a young, teenage girl. Some of the students have been talking about it for weeks, and everyone already knows your name."
I grimace in displeasure and gives me a sympathetic look. I'm glad that at least one teacher understands that the "new kid" terror never goes away, no matter how many schools you go to.
I take a breath and open my mouth to speak, but a group of girls walk into the classroom and I snap my mouth shut. My heart starts thundering in my ears. Damn. I had thought that I might be okay this time, but it's hard to forget the years of bullying I've faced. It takes everything I have to remind myself to breathe. I don't even know these girls, but they piss me off already. They seem exactly like the kind of girls who have been bullying me since I started kindergarten.
They cast curious glances my way, but otherwise don't remark on my presence. I'm caught a little by surprise; most kids walk over to me and start harassing me right away, like I'm some sort of bullying magnet. It might just be because the teacher is here. It's probably that.
I somehow manage to calm down as kids continue to file into my room. About a minute or so before the bell rings, a boy and girl walk in together. And when I say together, I mean together. They were holding hands and their sides were almost touching. If they weren't my age, I'd say they were cute, but I don't like people my age.
The girl, a brunette with golden eyes, spots me immediately and walks over to me. I'm a bit in awe of her face. It's…well, it's flawless. Call me stupid, but I could swear she walked out of a fashion magazine. Do people even get that pretty? Maybe she's just wearing a lot of makeup.
"I'm Bella Swan . It's nice to meet you." Her voice sounds as beautiful as her face looks. I'm momentarily confused when she holds her hand out to me, but I shake her hand after she's held it out for a few seconds. The class is mostly silent as everyone observes this scene between the two of us, and I flush slightly in embarrassment. She lowers the volume of her voice as she continues. "It's great to have you here. Really. I know what it's like being the new kid."
I'm surprised by her kindness, and even more surprised when she sits next to me. Her boyfriend sits on her other side. Weird. It's almost like having friends. Supermodel friends, but still.
The class passes uneventfully. I'm assigned to read a book, unfortunately, but otherwise it seems like the homework load will be rather light. As I gather my things and walk out of the classroom, the Bella girl moves so she's walking beside me. I am rather unnerved by her persistence. Can't she just call me names and then move on? Why is she toying with me first?
"Why don't you come eat lunch with us?" Bella says, motioning to herself and her boyfriend, who is once again glued to her other side.
The unknown boy smiles at me, and my eyes widen as I see how flawless his features are. Weird. Maybe they're both supermodels? I really need to come up with a better explanation for this shit.
"My siblings and friends will sit with us too, but they don't bite. Much." He grins like it's some kind of joke and Bella lets out a light laugh. I merely give them a look that clearly says that I think they're crazy. "Sorry. That's just a little joke of mine. I'm Edward, by the way. Edward Cullen."
"It's, uh, nice to meet you." Please don't bite Amanda. She bruises easily.
Edward grins as if he's thinking about something particularly funny, and Bella gives him what looks like a light whack on the shoulder but makes Edward say "ow" under his breath.
"Ooops." Bella mumbles, but Edward doesn't look too mad. On the contrary, he grins again, reminding me of a creepy shark-person.
Now I'm really confused. It looked like Bella barely touched him, but Edward still said "ow?" Maybe he's got a bruise there? Or maybe he's as much of a pansy as I am. It's probably just a bruise. I've never met anyone with such an aversion to pain as me. But even if it hurt, why is he grinning? I seriously hope he's not a masochist. Not that it's my business.
As Bella and Edward bade me goodbye before heading to their next class, I realize something: I don't feel as "on-guard" around them as I do around every other teenager I've known. Maybe it's because they seem to act really mature (PDA aside) but I don't get any weird vibes from them.
I spend the next few classes before lunch thinking about it.
As I stare out the window ten minutes before it's time to eat, I think about something about myself that I didn't think was abnormal until a few years ago.
I've always been able to sort of…sense a person without even really knowing them. It's almost as if I can tell what they're like by being in the same room. I didn't really think it was odd until I got involved with the internet. I met some people online that are still my only friends, and I keep in touch with them through email still. I got to know them before opening up to them, and once I did they told me that what I was (and am) experiencing is usual.
Speaking of my internet friends, I wondered how I would contact them. I don't have my own computer and I don't have a laptop or other device either…and I also realized that my tumblr followers would be upset that I've been gone. I've only got ten, but still. They're pretty big fans of me, for whatever reason. Must be that I always post rather attitude-filled things about stupid shit going on in the world.
As my thoughts sort of drift off to visions of cat gifs, I notice that people are leaving class. Oh. Must be lunch time. I pull my lunchbag out of my backpack and follow the other students to the cafeteria. Weird. I'm not getting anything weird from them, either. Must be some sort of small-town vibe. Come to think of it, I haven't been bullied all day.
A grin breaks across my face at the thought as I walk through the cafeteria doors, and I am brought out of my happy reverie as Bella calls me over.
I sit next to her, like I did at class, and take out my lunch. Marie, ever the designer, has prepared me a cute little plastic container filled with orange chicken and rice. Part of me suspects that orange chicken isn't actually real Asian food, but it's too good for me to care. I glance quickly at my other tablemates. Edward (of course), a short pixie-like girl with cropped, dark brown hair, and a guy sitting next to the pixie girl with messy blonde locks. They're all freakishly gorgeous. If I was confused before, I'm beyond it now. I guess this school just has a lot of pretty people. I've never thought of myself as pretty, so I'm not really intimidated, but it feels weird sitting here surrounded by such stunning specimens. I just heave a soft sigh, feeling like the ugly duckling surrounded by swans, and look back at my food. The smell of the chicken hits my nostrils. My mouth waters and I'm about to take a bite (thank god Marie thought to include a fork) when a third boy joins us at the table.
He's just as attractive as the others, with tousled brown hair and golden eyes. He looks at me questioningly but doesn't comment. Just as I realize that every person at the table (but me) has golden eyes, I also realize that I'm the only one eating food. Now I am rather freaked out. Are they in some sort of supermodel-cult? Are they going to eat me? Oh, dear god, wouldn't that be perfect. First day of a new school and I'm eaten by a bunch of cannibals.
I hear Edward's quiet chuckle again and look up. Bella seems to take this as some kind of cue to initiate introductions. I wonder why she didn't just introduce everyone when we first got here. I suppose she was waiting for the last boy.
"The blonde over there is Jasper." She tells me. "Sitting next to him is Alice, and then you know Edward and me. The one sitting across from you is Felix. We're all family. Adopted." Adopted? Well, that's interesting. I feel a little left out of the "we," though.
I wave shyly at them and Alice grins at me. Yeesh. Those are some sharp-looking teeth. Shiny, at the very least. Maybe I'm seeing things again.
"It's so nice to meet you, Amanda!" Alice gushed excitedly. "I really like the black theme, but you seem so slender. More tight-fitting clothing would really accentuate how thin you are, and-"
"Alice!" Edward groaned. "Please, I think it would be nice for you to let this young lady settle down before planning something so stressful as a shopping trip."
I blushed a little bit again, but was grateful for the interruption. At any rate, I didn't have any money to spend for clothes. I was too shy to ask Marie for any money, anyways, so it was a nice if fruitless gesture. Edward tapped his chin for a moment before speaking again.
"Amanda, after you become more accustomed to Forks, would you mind too terribly if Alice took you on a shopping trip? I know she wouldn't mind paying." He said in a quiet murmur, almost as if he was talking to a frightened animal. I opened my mouth to refuse but thank him for his generosity when he spoke again. "Alice loves playing dress-up, so it would be fun for her as well."
Alice nodded and said in a perky voice, "Yes! Please, price is no objection, and I've been dying to go shopping for weeks. Bella won't go with me." Her lips wrinkled in distaste as she glanced at Bella.
"You know I have no fashion sense." Bella said, laughing slightly. "Just take Amanda, if she's willing. Are you?" She turned her gaze on me.
This had to be one of the weirdest occurrences in my life. I meet some nice teenagers that don't give me the heebie-jeebies, they act nice to me, and then offer to pay for my clothes? This has to be some sort of joke. My mind thinks back to what said about this being a small town. Is this what it's like? People you meet offering to buy a new wardrobe while you're still learning their name? Normally I have trust issues, but something about these people…
"I don't know, Alice. I…" I pushed my chicken around as I pondered. "Maybe after we, you know, get to know each other better."
Alice squealed with delight and clapped her hands together (Bella rolled her eyes.) "Great! We'll become friends first, and then-shopping!"
Bella muttered something unintelligible under her breath that I failed to hear properly, and Edward chuckled. Alice, on the other hand, glared daggers at them as she stood. She walked over to me, and I was surprised to see how graceful she was. With her looks, she's probably a dancer, so I suppose this makes some sense. I got the same graceful vibe from Bella and Edward when they walked. Okay. Family of dancers? Maybe they waltz with each other.
Lunch went by uneventfully enough, as did the rest of the day, but as Marie picked me up, I couldn't stop staring at the Cullen family standing by their car…staring at me. The Felix guy was, anyways. But why was he looking at me like that?
Like I'm…food or something.