-Misguided Angel hanging over me
Heart like a Gabriel; pure and white as ivory
Soul like a Lucifer; black and cold like a piece of lead;
Misguided Angel; love you 'til I'm dead- The Cowboy Junkies
You stare at him as they bring him to be executed. Your crying eyes capture his haggard face and you try to recall the young man you fell in love with all those years ago. Once his image surfaces, you know in your heart that it is impossible to regret all that you sacrificed to love him: your family's close relationship, your social status, and your good name.
He was all that you were taught to stay away from, yet you knew that he was all that you would ever need to feel safe. To be honest, things were never perfect between you two, but that was part of the charm. Through him, you became something else, something more than you ever thought you would ever be in your sheltered and monotonous existence.
Before, you were daddy's little girl, perfect little Connie. You would have walked through fire had he asked you to. After you met Severus, you came to life. You realized that you had dreams and desires, and he gave you the courage to seek them out and fulfill them.
Your mind snaps back to the present where you see those piercing black eyes. They echo the pain of his tortured soul, but wish as hard as you might, you can't follow him on this journey. Your thoughts, your emotions, and every other part of you begin to freeze as you watch the sky grow dark. The dementors begin approaching and you bow your head. You want to scream, cry out as you realize that they've come to rob him of that part you knew and cherished so dearly; that proud soul that made him your fortress, your shield against the world.
The wound in your heart tears deeper as he calls your name and gives you a brave smile of reassurance. Your heart captures that moment like a picture, but the warmth between you fades as the prison guards lead him into the courtyard and they close the door behind him. You know that it will soon be over and that you must march on bravely carrying only his memory to keep you strong, but the pain is all too real. It tears so deeply into you that all you can do is break down. The guard offers to see you away from the prison, but you refuse his help. He can't do anything for you. No one can. The one person you opened yourself to and allowed yourself to trust is now dead. You stop, turn around to face the prison gates, and pray that Severus knows that he will be your one and only and that nobody else will ever replace him in your heart for as long as you live.
- Soul like a Lucifer, black and cold like a piece of lead.
Misguided Angel;' Love you 'til I'm dead.