Olivia awoke, and briefly wondered where she was. And then she remembered. She was in Carolyn, Alex's sister's, cabin. They had just had a wonderful Christmas Day, made all the more special by the unexpected – by Alex – arrival of their elderly friend Helen, whom they all knew as Wheels. Lily had been especially delighted when Wheels had agreed to be grandma to her and baby Maisie.
Olivia turned in the bed, and saw that it was empty. Alex could only be in one place. Olivia shrugged on her robe, and padded to their youngest daughter's bedroom, and saw Alex sat in the chair by the crib, holding the eight-month girl tenderly, and whispering nonsense to her as she snuffled and whimpered in her mother's arms.
Alex looked up, and smiled tiredly at her wife. "She's catching a cold, and I think her teeth are still sore too. You're having a lousy time, huh, Maisie?" she looked down at the small, blonde infant.
Olivia perched on the arm of the chair, and kissed Alex softly. "The joys of parenthood," she said with a smile. "Shall I get her some milk?"
Alex nodded. "That would be good. She's running a little fever, so any fluids will help. Hey," she stroked Maisie's face, "it's okay, sweetie. It's going to be okay. Mama's getting you something to drink, and we'll just sit here until you're feeling a little happier. It's okay, doodlebug, I'm not going anywhere," she rocked her gently.
After Maisie had drunk just over half the bottle of milk, Alex continued to hold her until she fell asleep in her arms. She stood up and started to lower the baby into her crib, but Maisie immediately awoke and started to wail. "Oh baby girl, it's okay," Alex held her close again. "It's okay. You don't wanna be on your own. I get that. Shh now, there you go. How would you like to come to bed with me and Mama, just this once? We can all stay together then. That'll be nice, won't it?"
Alex laid Maisie down between her and Olivia, and smiled when the small child snuggled into her front, at the same time reaching out one hand to grab Olivia's pajama top. She wanted both her mommies close, and Olivia obliged by snuggling up behind her.
"Just like her Mommy," Olivia teased in a quiet voice. "Has to be held when she's sick."
Alex opened her mouth to protest, and then shut it again and gave a small, rueful smile. "Touché," she said.
a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&
When Olivia awoke again and peered at her watch, she realized it was just after 8am. She could smell coffee, so she guessed that Wheels at least was up, and she strongly suspected that the nearly-five-year-old Lily was also awake. She looked over at Alex, and smiled. Maisie was still wrapped in her arms. She was still snuffly, but she was sleeping soundly, as was Alex.
Carefully, Olivia slipped out of bed, making sure not to wake her girls. She grabbed her clothes from the chair and carried them into the living room.
She was surprised to find no sign of life in the rest of the cabin, until she saw a note by the coffee machine, next to a plate of waffles. "Lily and I have gone for a walk by the lake. Lily has made you some waffles. Enjoy! W. xxx"
Olivia smiled. She poured herself a coffee, and took a grateful gulp. She put two waffles in the microwave to warm up, and donned the clothes she had been wearing the day before. She would shower later, once everyone was awake.
Olivia ate her waffles quickly and donned her coat and boots before she carried the rest of her coffee outside. As she looked over, she could see Wheels sitting on the bench by the water. She caught a glimpse of Lily's woollen hat, and realized that she must be sitting on Wheels' lap.
Wheels and Lily were deep in conversation, and didn't hear Olivia approaching.
"Auntie Wh... I mean Grandma Wheels," Lily started.
"Yes, sweetie?"
"Mommy says Auntie May has gone to live with Jesus. Does that mean we will never see her again?"
Wheels tightened her hold on the young girl. "That's right, Lily," she said, softly. "May has gone now, and we won't see her again, not in the way we are used to."
"Is she happy living with Jesus?" Lily wanted to know.
"I'm sure she is," Wheels told her. "He will be taking real good care of her in Heaven."
"Are you very sad she isn't here any more?"
"I am. Very sad," Wheels admitted. "But I have to be grateful that she is happy now. And I know she's watching over all of us, and making sure we're okay."
"How do you know that?" Lily persisted.
"I just have to look around me, to know that she's still here, with me, with all of us. I look over at something as beautiful as this lake, or at someone as wonderful as you are, and I just know that May is still a part of that. She loved you very much, Lily. You were one of the last things we talked about, did you know that?"
Lily looked up at her elderly friend.
"Your Mama sent us a picture of Maisie, just a few minutes after she was born. And May said to me that she was a very lucky little girl, to have your Mommy and Mama as parents, and to have you as her big sister. She said she knew you would take care of her."
Lily nodded. "I told Mama I'd try and be a good big sister," she said, solemnly.
"And that's just what you are," Olivia interrupted.
Lily looked up, and gave a huge grin. "Mama! Grandma Wheels and I have been watching the ducks. They're real funny."
Olivia sat on the bench next to Wheels. She placed her hand gently on her arm. "I hope Lily isn't talking your ears off!"
Wheels smiled. "Lily has been a very entertaining companion. We have had a nice long walk, and we were just watching the world go by."
"Grandma Wheels? Will you come and live with us?"
Wheels laughed, and shook her head. "No, Lily. I won't live with you. But I am hoping to get an apartment real close to you, if that would be okay? I've rented an apartment a few miles away, just while I look for the right place to buy."
"Can we come visit you?"
"All the time," Wheels said. "I hope you'll visit me as often as you can."
Lily grinned. "I like having a grandma," she told Olivia. "I think Maisie will like it too."
Olivia had blink away her tears. "You have a very special grandma. She's going to teach you all sort of things."
"She told me this morning that the brown ducks are the lady ducks," Lily was proud to have remembered. "And the ones wearing the real smart feathers are the boy ducks. She said it is because boy birds like to brag," she grinned.
Olivia gave a bark of laughter. "Well, she's not wrong there. Maybe we can all go to the zoo, and look at the birds there?"
Lily looked up at Wheels eagerly. "Can we?" she asked.
Wheels hugged her tight. "Of course we can," her voice cracked. "Of course we can."
a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&
"Do we have to?" Caryn complained to Abbie that morning. "This is such a great hotel room, and Jeff has Daniel. I can think of much better ways to spend the morning than going to that damned clinic again," she reached out and caressed Abbie's breast through her shirt.
Abbie swatted her hand away. "Do you want to get pregnant?" she fixed her lover with an icy glare.
"Yeah, yeah. But we've been three times already. I'm either pregnant or I'm not."
"CW, you were the one that wanted to do this. You said you'd like to have the experience of carrying our child. And, as you pointed out, we don't have all that much time to play with. You're already considered an 'elderly mother'."
Caryn screwed up her face. "That's such an awful expression. I'm 39, not 79, for Christ's sake."
"But it's not like we can do this every month," Abbie sat next to her on the bed and took her hand. She realized that, through all the protestations, Caryn was rattled. She did not enjoy the experience at the clinic, and it made her tense and snappy.
"We could if Jeff would come to New York, and store some of his little swimmers at a clinic there," Caryn said.
Abbie nodded. "Maybe we can ask him to do that. We're already booked in here in March again. How about, if it doesn't work that time, we'll ask him to do just that?"
Caryn nodded. She reached for Abbie's hand. "Okay," she said, quietly. "When do we have to be at the clinic?"
"11am."
"So that gives us time...," she slid a warm hand up Abbie's leg.
"No," Abbie tried to be gentle. "You know you should … come … after the insemination. To improve our chances. So," she kissed her deeply. "If you're a little … revved up … before we go in there, that can only be a good thing, don't you think? We can make love as much as you want afterwards, I promise," she spotted the glum look on Caryn's face. "Hey, I want to too, you know. It's killing me, looking at these," she ghosted a finger across Caryn's nipple that protruded through her silk pajama top, "and knowing that we've gotta wait. But," she tweaked the taut bud teasingly, "it'll be worth the wait. I promise you that."
"It had damned well better be," Caryn muttered. She got out of bed and made her way to the bathroom.
"No … long … showers either," Abbie called through the door, laughing as Caryn flung a towel at her.
a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&
Sarah heard a familiar sound. She nudged her sleeping wife, as she looked at her watch. 3.05pm. "It's the computer," she said to Jay as she looked blearily at her. "Remember? We told Lily we'd talk to her over Skype this afternoon! Damn," she leapt out of bed, looking for her robe. She found it on the back of the door, and slipped it on, tying it tight at the waist. She sprinted into the living room, and sat herself in front of the computer.
Alex's face greeted her on the screen, and Sarah blushed when Alex laughed. "I decided it was best if I spoke to you first," Alex said with a wide grin. "I suspected you and Jay might be enjoying a little afternoon delight," she said, her smile growing as she saw a dishevelled Jay appear in the background.
Sarah was about to protest, when Jay smiled and approached her from behind, wrapping an arm around her. She blew a kiss to Alex. "Sounds to me like somebody's jealous!" she grinned. "Hey, there are advantages to an empty apartment. We're just making the most of the festive season!"
By this point, Sarah was bright red with embarrassment, which only made Alex laugh more. "Give me five minutes to get dressed. I'll call you back," she said, clicking the 'disconnect' button before Alex had a chance to protest. "God, that was embarrassing," she said, standing up from her chair. She felt Jay grab her hand. "No, Jay, we've gotta get dressed, I need to ..."
Jay pulled her to her. She kissed her deeply, slipping her tongue into her wife's mouth, reveling in the soft sensation. "There's no hurry," she said, as she fumbled with the belt of her robe.
Sarah sagged, unable to resist Jay's touch. Then she pulled back. "God, how come you can always do that to me?" her breathing was a little uneven. "Soon," she promised. "Now get dressed. Or do you want to be the one to corrupt a four-year-old?"
a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&
New Year's Eve
Casey Novak felt relief wash over her as she shut the door to the apartment, and immediately felt guilty for feeling that way. She had just dropped her boyfriend at the airport, and he was going to be away for ten days. She knew he was trying hard to be as normal as he could, but sometimes, even with the medication, living with his bipolar disease was exhausting. But he had been taking his meds responsibly for almost six months now, so it had become easier. Even so, there were moments when she was almost afraid of him.
So now, she had a glorious ten days all to herself. She wouldn't have to worry if the towels in the bathroom weren't straight, or if she was wearing a top that he considered too revealing. She would also not feel obliged always to accede to his requests for sex. He had certainly never forced her, but there were times when she wasn't in the mood, but had agreed because she dreaded dealing with his reaction if she said no. He always took it personally, always deemed it an affront to his masculinity.
Tonight, Casey was going round to Alex Cabot's apartment. They were about to start working together, so she had been touched when Alex had invited her to join her family. "It won't be anything fancy, it's just a few of us – and my sister, and niece and her wife are joining us. We're also hoping that my niece's wife will bring her father and his girlfriend. But that's it. Apart from Wheels. You're gonna love Wheels," she smiled.
Casey was glad of the chance to get to know her co-worker better, as well as Olivia. A good relationship with one of the squad's detectives could only make life easier. And Charlie didn't much like it when she socialized without him, so this was the perfect opportunity. She would phone him at midnight, and tell him that she had been invited at the last minute. By the time he came home, he would be so full of what he had been doing that he would forget her minor indiscretion.
a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&a&
"Here's to 2008!" Olivia held her drink aloft as they watched the ball drop in Times Square on their television.
Alex hugged her wife from behind, burying her face in her neck. "It's going to be a great year," she slid her hand to stroke Olivia's flat stomach.
Olivia turned to face her. She took her face in her hands, and kissed her very tenderly. "I may not be able to get pregnant," she reminded her gently.
"I know. It's still going to be a good year," Alex said. "We're already so lucky," she looked around her at the people they loved. She kissed her again. "My beautiful wife. I love you so much."