Chapter 1: No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed

"Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ah ah ah ah ah…AAAAHHHHHH!" howled Neville as the bed snapped. The fall of the four-poster bed, along with Neville, shook him back into reality.

"Neville! Your stupid monkey self broke my bed!" Ron screamed to the semi-conscious kid on the floor.

Shaking his head, then holding it for fear of a massive headache, Neville looked around to see the damage. "Whoops."

"Whoops is fucking right," Ron retorted scowling.

"Calm down Ron," Harry comfortingly said, patting his rather miffed friend on the shoulder. "Twas just an accident, mate."

"Ye-yeah…j-just an accident," Neville, still a bit out of it, stuttered. "I guess those candies were tainted or something, s-sorry."

Seamus looked at the box in awe and read, "Yeah, says here on it, some effects may be aggrandized depending on the consumer."

"Yeah, just a mistake. Guess Neville can't handle 'em," Dean chimed in, suppressing laughter that had been dying to break out for a while now. "It was funny, Ron, you must admit."

Ron held his hand out to help Neville up, "Yeah, I understand. It was pretty funny…don't know how I'm going to explain this to McGonagall though." He winced at the thought but smiled and shrugged it off.

"Oooh, isn't McGonagall at that Transfiguration convention…thing?" Neville said, rubbing his bum, "Better go to Dumbledore."

Dean laughed at last, surprised and taken aback, "Hey, that's right! Neville, you actually remembered something!"

"Eh, bugger off, Dean," Neville replied, climbing into his own bed.

"I think that's more than enough of these for one night," Seamus concluded, putting the candies back into Dean's trunk.

Ron took another look at his demolished bed. All four posters cracked and bent over, mattress split in two and the headboard cracked in three places. He nodded and decided, "Right, I'm off to Dumbledore."

"Oh, Ron, why bother?" Seamus asked winking. "You could share with me, wouldn't you like that?"

Ron smartly smiled and put his hand on his shoulder, "Seamus…how many times must I tell you. You're not my type, sweetheart."

And with that he headed down the stairs to the common room, leaving a very pouty Seamus who was trying not to laugh at his own joke. "Damn the day I ever opened my mouth about my sexuality to him. Camp is not funny, and so not me." About half way down the stairs he remembered he did not have a very vital piece of information. He had no clue what the password was.

"Shit," he said out loud.

"Language…" Hermione scolded, who was headed down the opposite staircase with a stack of wobbling books.

Ron rolled his eyes. "Sorry 'Mione," he apologized, running over to aid her. "Those books are going to be the death of you one day, you know," he said, lightening her load.

"Thanks, Ron. Just set them down in front of the fireplace. That Transfiguration test is going to be a killer," she replied huffing upwards to blow away a stray hair in her face.

"Yeah, but it's not till Friday, we have 4 days," Ron dropped the books down. "Help me study?" he asked smiling.

Hermione sighed after dropping her load down and slumped into the nearest chair. She took out the parchment in her robes and posed, "Alright, hopeless case, what don't you get the most?"

"Oh, not right now, Mione. I have to go to Dumbledore. Besides, you can help me Thursday night," he responded smiling at his slacker attitude.

"Everything alright?" she inquired worriedly.

"No, everything is fine…" he knew that look, "I mean it. Neville just broke my bed and I need it fixed."

Bemused, she shook her head. "Alright, have fun." She grabbed her first book and placed it on the table.

Stopping in his tracks, he remembered what he wanted to ask her about, "Do you know Dumbledore's password? I'm gonna need it to get in…"

Her brow furrowed, "No, I don't know it. Prefects know though, just ask Percy."

"Ah really? Wicked." Ron threw his eyes up and sighed. "I'll need an excuse though. Knowing Percy he'll demand a just cause with detailed explanations."

"Just say…Harry got some informationthrough some dreamand it's important," Hermoine suggested.

"He'd want to know it, no way," Ron shook his head.

Her eyes fell as she contemplated. "Oh, right! Just tell him you need to complain about Snape."

Ron's expression brightened, "Perfect. He hates Snape. Thanks Hermoine, have fun studying."

"See you," she replied before sticking her head back into the book.

Ron raced out the common room and up the stairs to the 7th year rooms. Best to try there first…but then again, he is always "on duty". "Prat," Ron thought before knocking on the door.

Muffled noises could be heard but nothing above a murmur. One voice sounded like Oliver but Percy must be in there, Ron figured. The 7th year room was once again his sleeping…place. He wasn't paying much attention but Ron remembered Percy announcing to him that he was going to be back in that room for some reason. Oliver being hopeless in a class and…something. Didn't sound exactly thrilled about it though.

"Oi, Percy! It's Ron. Open up, now!" he yelled as he pounded on the door.

A full minute and a half later, Percy appeared at the door. "Face as red as his hair…which was unnaturally damp looking…and he is in a robe…with oh my gods…nothing underneath?! Good thing his hands are where they are!" he thought to himself as his eyes widened at the sight.

Percy, looking more perturbed than usual was mouthing something to him, but no sound came out.

"Percy, I can not hear you!" Ron shouted, looking quite afraid and perplexed.

Percy quickly went back into his room to find his wand and with a flick of it, the sound of the shower turning on and music saturated the air. "Sorry…silencing spell."

"What is all of…this, Percy? Got a girl in there?" Ron replied, smirking.

Percy straightened his posture and closed his robes fully, "I can explain, brother. Taking a shower…didn't want to be disturbed…"

"Percy! Get back in here!" a voice screamed, sounding rather whiny.

Percy reddened more and continued, "…got into a fight with Oliver. I still am as you can tell…" he nodded off to where the voice came from. "What do you want anyways?"

Oliver came out of the shower, not looking wet at all, but almost completely starkers, save for his towel. He was smiling and waved at Ron.

"Urm…Dumbledore's password? I can explain…" Ron stumbled out.

"It's 'lemon drop'…alright?" and with that Percy slammed the door instantly and apparently put the silencing spell back on because the shower and soft music disappeared once again.

Ron stared at the door for a bit, quite confused. Shortly, the muffled noises started again. "If they put a silencer on…they must really be yelling at one another to be heard over the spell…or something," he thought.

He shrugged and shook off whatever thoughts were previously running around. He had to get to Dumbledore. It was 7 and wanted his bed before it got late.

Nearly sprinting down the corridors, he was surprisingly not stopped by one prefect. Although, the only prefect he was normally caught by was Percy, it's still good to break rules. It was for a good cause, he told himself.

Ron reached Dumbledore's office and spoke loud and clearly, "Lemon drop" and surprisingly it opened the doorways up for him.

He took it easy up the stairs as to catch his breath previously stolen from all the running and called out Dumbledore's name to get his attention.

"Mr. Weasley, come, have a seat," Dumbledore said calmly, acknowledging his presence when he reached the top.

Ron took a seat and a glass of water that appeared, "Good evening, Professor."

"Is there something the matter?" he asked concerned.

"Nothing big, sir," Ron assured. "Just my bed broke and Professor McGonagall isn't here to report it to."

"Bed?" he looked rather quizzically. "How did that happen?"

"Well you see sir…" Ron adjusted his seating and half-heartedly laughed, "There are these sweets from Hogsmeade that make you act like, well…an animal…"

The professor's eyes perked up, "Ah yes. I'm very familiar with those animagus candies. I liked the penguin ones myself. Broke many tables with all that gliding in my day."

Ron laughed and found it rather amusing to imagine, as did the professor. "Yeah…well Neville turned into an ape and trashed the bed beyond even magical repair."

Still smiling, Dumbledore responded trying not to laugh, "Hmm…that is a bit of a problem."

"Well…aren't there spare beds?" Ron asked. "Surely there must be some."

"Actually, we've run out," the professor replied. Ron's expression was one of much bewilderment. "Just in the past month we've gone though them all. Your brothers, Fred and George, kept on practicing their latest exploding bomb…some ludicrousinvention…and busted 5 or 6 of them. Interesting excuses for each time. Nothing that a truth spell would neglect though," he responded smiling.

Ron also smiled because he helped them test a couple of those, wicked they were.

"Also, Percy and Oliver broke one just last week during the middle of the night. They didn't tell us until the next morning, how honorable of them. I wonder where Oliver slept the night though…probably on the Quidditch pitch," Dumbledore joked.

Ron laughed appropriately but instigated, "They have been fighting a lot, haven't they?"

"Oh heavens no," replied Dumbledore. "Quite the opposite. The week before that, Percy's bed broke in the Head Boy room. Oliver then offered for him to come back into his room. Being roommates only to each other your whole school career…that forms a bond, no matter how different you might appear to be. Said he was a bit lonely, and needed some Divination help so it was settled. Percy was more than willing to help."

"To help with what though exactly…" Ron asked himself. "Maybe brothers can have more in common than just a bloodline…" Certain realizations flashed in his mind while he politely ignored Dumbledore. Rambling on about how great Percy was, failing to notice Ron blatantly not paying attention, as long as he nodded at appropriate times.

When the professor took a break, Ron interjected, "Sorry, but what about my bed?"

"Well we will order you another one, of course…but they take on average3 to 5 days." Dumbledore stroked his beard. "We'll just have to assign you to another house of your year. Hmm…do we have any openings?" he asked his filing cabinet as he thumbed through his files.

"Not Slytherin…not Slytherin…not Slytherin…" Ron repeated the mantra in his head.

The professor found the housing arrangements for each house and noted the exception, "Ah yes. One in Slytherin."

"Not Slytherin!" Ron moaned out loud and smacked his head down on Dumbledore's desk.

Dumbledore chuckled lightly at the sentiment. "It's the only opening, Mr. Weasley. Plus it'll do you good to mingle with your rival house, trust me."

Ron just stared dumbfounded at the words coming out of his principal's mouth.

"We'll assign you immediately and move your trunk and belongings in there. It's only for a few days, you'll be fine," he said rather sternly.

Ron sighed, "Yes sir."

"Now what was the password…oh how could I forget? A seventh year assured me that if they were able to pick their own password, more students would remember it. So I complied, not guessing they would pick "Slytherin rules" but…that is what they chose," he said shaking his head. "Now on with you. I'll have a prefect show you how to get there."

Ron nodded and shook Dumbledore's hand before being shown the stairway to the Slytherin dormitories. Ron rolled his eyes and stumbled out of the room, ready to scream.