Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere, I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
He couldn't maintain eye contact with them for too long, the pinnacle couple when it came to true love yet now he had to tell them that wasn't enough, that true love's kiss wouldn't wake their child from this state – nothing would. He had to ask them to make a decision, the decision…the final decision.
"Emma…when she first registered here…she didn't manage to get to the papers detailing what should happen should, well…should something like this occur" both were staring at him intently, neither really understanding where he was going with this. They didn't have the time for his ramblings, they needed to get back to their daughter, back in time for her to wake up and see that they had stayed here, that they were waiting for her. "It is procedure here in the hospital that…after a certain time period has passed with limited or no brain function in a patient…well, things have to be taken into consideration and as Emma didn't sign any DNR papers," seeing their confusion he had to explain, "instructions as to whether she would actually want to be resuscitated should something happen."
"No!" Snow's hand moved to cover her mouth in shock as she realized what he was saying, what he was asking them to consider, "no, you can't ask that of us!"
He shook his head in sympathy, it had shocked the whole town, a mural lay at the crash site with flowers and letters addressed to the Saviour. Candles had been lit in the convent as a sign of respect, a booth had been set up in the diner in memory as all prayed for the blonde to wake up and stroll in demanding her usual grilled cheese special…but it had been three months and still no signs of life from someone once so full of it.
Henry hardly came anymore, he couldn't do it, he couldn't face leaving the room every time without any indication that his mother was still there, that his best friend was going to open her eyes and give him that patented wink. He asked Regina for any differences when she would return home but he was always met with the same look, the same emptiness he had taken as a normal feeling since that day.
"I am so sorry your majesty's but…it is something you are going to have to consider"
Charming's face was grave, his whole optimistic demeanour long since gone now, "how long do we have?"
"You have as long as it takes for you to decide but by rule of thumb, we usually see that around the 4 month mark is the optimum time for patients to re-awaken, after that…it is extremely rare" Whale replied looking at both before him now. The sorrow etched across their faces was clear to see, their hope was gone, both couldn't allow themselves to think of Emma dying but it was a strong possibility.
They nodded their understanding and, after shaking Whale's hand and giving thanks for his continued efforts, they left the consultation room.
The hallways were quiet as their footsteps echoed throughout, both clinging to one another feeling as though if they were to separate they would simply fade out of existence.
"You know it's not up to us…" Snow breathed out as she watched her feet moving one in front of the other, "it's not our decision, it's theirs" she had reached the room now, the door open just enough to see Henry and Regina sitting and just watching, waiting, like they always did. "They're her family, they should have the choice"
Charming looked at her, tears in his own eyes as his fingers tightened around hers, "we had her…for just a little while, we had her back and now…oh god" he seemed to crumple to the ground like his support system had disintegrated, "oh god, my girl" he allowed Snow to rock him on the ground as she clung to him letting out her own wracking sobs. Nurses and Doctors alike passed the couple though neither stopped to move them; all could only swallow the lump in their throats and move along.
And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all
And I will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl
"Do you think she can hear us?" it was the first thing Henry had said in the room for a while, Regina had taken to lightly trailing her fingers across Emma's hairline, tilting her head every now and then just memorizing the features she had come to love so much. Henry had been watching his mother without comment, just revelling in their time as a family once more and trying to convince himself that she was simply sleeping. The beeping of her heart monitor however was a cruel reminder, the sallow skin on her face telling him to stop being such an idiot and face the truth.
"I do Henry, yes" she finally replied softly, she spoke often to Emma when she came to visit, which was every day for as long as she possibly could. Neither really lived anymore as Regina couldn't bear to be in her house for longer than was necessary without the sounds of the blonde echoing throughout. Henry had taken up residence at the Charming's household, Ruby a constant babysitter with Emma's parents spending as much time as they could here also. They had fallen into a kind of rotation in spending time in the hospital room; Regina would leave for a lunch which she didn't eat and a nap that she didn't take before swapping once more with Snow and David who would do the same as she.
"At least I truly hope that she can…"
Most of the brunette's time in the room was spent just touching Emma, feeling her still there yet she wasn't really. She also spent a lot of the time apologizing, regretting her sour mood that morning. They had both said things neither really meant and it had resulted in Emma walking out, climbing into her death trap of a car and speeding away. It was winter, the rains had been and now the cold was setting in…she didn't see it…whether that was just bad eyesight on her part or the remnants of her rage not allowing it…she didn't see it until she hit it, then all had turned black for Emma Swan.
A single tear fell from Regina's eye marking the blanket covering her love with her sorrow; the feeling of guilt within her was like a disease that progressed with every beat of her heart, every hour that Emma didn't wake and every less smile that she was able to produce when her son needed it. She was falling apart, unable to function without the blonde by her side and it was all her fault…others had told her it wasn't, even Snow had been of some comfort in trying to reassure the brunette but it was of no use, she would always blame herself and nothing anyone could say would change that.
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere, I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
A knock at the door brought both out of their separate thoughts as they watched the Charming's walk into the room, both sets of eyes were red rimmed devaluing the smiles they attempted to plaster on, their attempts were unnecessary.
"We have…" Snow had to inhale deeply in order to try again, she felt as though she shouldn't have any more tears left in her to cry but still they came, "we have something we need to talk to you about…both of you"
It felt strange sitting in this room, with Emma lying silently between them, unmoving and unchanging whilst the rest were clinging to their sanity. The Charming's spoke softly as they reiterated what Doctor Whale had told them, Regina and Henry remaining completely silent as they explained what they were going to have to do. Henry's lip was trembling as he listened, the lump in his throat threatening to suffocate him as he felt his mother grab his hand, the mother he loved but not the mother he wanted to comfort him. He wanted Emma, needed Emma to wake up now.
"How can you even think of asking that of us?" Regina began, her voice shaking with emotion at the decision that had now been placed upon her and her 12 year old son's shoulders, "how can you ask us to decide whether she lives or dies?"
There was no venom in her voice, no fight, just despair. "We may be her parents Regina but you…you and Henry; you're her family and the only people with the right to decide"
Henry had been far too distraught to remain in the room, his heart broken sobs could be heard all around the hospital as David and Snow took him to calm down, They would return in the morning in order to allow him to talk to Regina and make the final decision…whether or not they would turn Emma's machines off that were keeping her alive.
That night, for the first time since the accident, with her love's hand clutched tightly within her own, Regina climbed next to the blonde on the bed and laid her head down to sleep.
She looked around, she was lying in her bed in the mansion, there was a weight pressing against her waist and as she turned over her heart almost stopped when she found green eyes, "Emma…"
"Hey baby," there was the smile she had been longing to see for so long now, she couldn't help but to reach out and touch it, overjoyed when she actually could. "You missed me?"
Then came the tears as she began shaking with the grief she had felt for so long, instantly the blonde's arms wrapped tightly around her and pulled her in. She whispered soothing words as she stroked delicate fingers through dark locks and allowed Regina all the time she needed to let it all out.
"I'm s-so sorry Em" she choked out as she clawed at the younger woman's arms, her head falling to her chest where she could hear the same strong heartbeat that had been echoing through her mind in beeps for the past 3 and a half months now. "I'm so sorry…"
"You listen to me now Regina Mills," Emma said, her voice stern as she pulled the brunette back enough to look into her eyes, "I'm sick and tired of you blaming yourself, it was my stupid fault for being an idiot when I drive. You warned me a million times to go slower, to get my brakes fixed, my wheels changed and did I do it? No." she began, Regina shaking her head still drowning in her grief, "I would have been on the road either way baby, it was not your fault" she kissed the brunette's forehead as she pulled her back in.
"I need to tell you something now though and I need you to listen to me okay?" she felt the woman nod in her arms, "you have to let me go Regina"
"What? No!" she shrieked as she pulled back in horror, "how could you ask me to do that?!" her tears came thick and fast but she wouldn't allow them to take a hold now, not when Emma was talking like this. "I can't, I won't!"
Emma placed a hand on Regina's cheek after brushing back a piece of hair that had fallen, "I have been so lucky in my life," she spoke softly as she inched forward so that their noses were almost touching, Regina revelled in every hot breath that tickled her skin, every sign of life that exuded from the blonde, her hands still clutching the fabric of Emma's tank top. "I have been so blessed to have you and Henry in my life…I was alone for so long, I was in a dark place but then this little boy just shows up and turns all of that around…and I'm filled with so much love that I didn't think it possible to feel for another person, I felt as though it was spilling over and that was it, for the rest of my life I would be content with loving that little boy…and then there was you" her hand moved through Regina's hair then, pulling her closer so that their foreheads were touching, she could almost taste the older woman's tears as she hung on every word.
"I met you and it was like my heart just exploded…I needed you, from the very beginning I needed you and I didn't even realize it." Her own tears were falling now as she allowed her heart to do the talking, "when you kissed me I felt as though you'd finally brought me to life, I was finally living and I could finally breathe properly…I was addicted to you, every smile you allowed me was like the sweetest hit, I hung on every word you spoke like it was the only thing keeping me alive, you were the only thing keeping me alive…"
"Then come back to me!" she spluttered out, her own heart breaking at Emma's words, Emma's goodbye, "come back to me, please!"
Her head shook sadly as she placed a soft kiss on tear laden lips, "I can't baby, I can't come back…" she sobbed herself then for the bastard universe taking her away from Regina and her son, "I just wanted a little more time…"
Both cried then, holding each other so tightly it was almost painful though neither cared in that moment, they grieved for the time lost, the things they were supposed to but would never get to do with each other now. "I ca-can't live without you, I can't breathe without you Emma!"
And I will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
But I'm saying goodbye
Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
And anywhere, I would have followed you
Oh... say something, I'm giving up on you
"Yes you can Regina, you can and you will! You know why?" she fought to control her tears, "because of that same little boy that brought me to you! He cannot lose both of his mother's, he needs you and I need you. I need you to raise him the way you always have…with so much love in your heart and pride in him. I couldn't have asked for a better mother for my son"
Regina was shaking again, how could she do this without Emma?
"Just promise me one thing…" the brunette looked up then into forest green eyes as she nodded, "don't let him forget me…"
"Oh Emma, that would never be possible!" they folded into one another again then, their cries no longer held in as they clung on to each other.
It wasn't long until the scene began to lose some of its sharpness, a soft blur creeping in as they moved to sit up in the bed. Instantly their mouths met, both knowing that the end was coming, Regina was waking up and she was going to have to make the decision. Although their desire was as strong as it always was with them, they both made sure to keep the kiss slow, soft and full of the love they felt for one another, both savouring the feeling knowing it was the last time they would ever experience it.
They slowly pulled back as they rested their foreheads against one another, their eyes closed as their fingers intertwined between their laps. "I love you baby, so much…" Emma breathed, the soft air hitting Regina's lips.
"I love you too, always and forever…"
As she woke slowly she found herself to be still pressed against Emma, she couldn't move for the moment, she didn't want to. Looking down slowly she found their fingers to be laced together, something she must have done during her time asleep.
Her smile was bittersweet as she finally moved to sit up, her free hand coming to caress the soft skin of the blonde's face as she leaned forward to capture unmoving lips one final time. There was no puff of magical air, no breaking of any curse to wake her up as this was no curse, it was final.
"Mom?" she looked up at the sound of her son's voice as he walked into the room, she gave a small smile as he walked forward, she watched as he looked at Emma before locking his eyes onto hers as he whispered, "she wants us to let her go…"
Her face contorted in grief as she moved to pull him into her lap, laying his teary face in the crook of her neck as she cried with him, "I know my darling…I know"
It happened that night, Regina and Henry spent that afternoon talking to Emma for one last time, telling her how much they loved and would miss her and reassuring her that they could never ever forget her. They then moved out of the room in order to allow Snow and David the time they needed to say goodbye. The word had gotten out and all around Storybrooke residents moved from their homes or they work spaces and flooded the streets, each holding a candle lit in memory for the woman who had changed all of their lives and had now lost her own.
It wasn't anything spectacular, there was no flash of light with a vision of Emma telling them all that she was okay and that they could live happy knowing she was at peace…there was nothing…just the absence of her heart rate monitor as the Doctor's left the family to mourn the loss of Emma Swan, their Saviour.
In time things began moving on, her funeral had been attended by all allowing those close to realize just how many lives the blonde had touched, how many people had admired and respected the woman who never even knew just how special she was.
Granny had a plaque made and placed in order to allow those who wished to do so the chance to sit at the booth Emma had frequented and remember just what she had done for them. Regina and Henry never sat there for they had their own memories of the woman, their own way of remembering her.
It was on certain days, when the air was warm and the sun had hit a certain spot in the sky that they would venture out into the back yard and sit beneath the same apple tree that under which both women had agreed things had changed between them and had set their romance in motion. They would share stories and laugh at the things Emma used to do and most times if they listened hard enough, they were comforted to believe that they could hear her laughing just as hard, the sound dancing on the wind and carrying around them like their own special form of a comfort blanket, she was still here and she was still with them.
Their Emma.