Repost. I don't own anything.


He thrust into me one final time, groaning loudly. I reached up to embrace him but he rolled soundlessly off me. I sighed rolling over on my side. His breathing evened out as I stared blankly at the wall. On the chair adjacent to the wall sat a brown, patched up teddy bear, a tattered red bow tied around its neck. I smiled.


Age 1

My mother held me in her arms smiling. My dad hovered over the both of us, beaming. Look at her. She's perfect.

Age 4

My dad smiled down at me as I painted a picture in the living room. He handed me a new teddy bear with a bow tied around its neck before kissing my forehead softly.

Age 6

I sat with my bear during recess watching the other kids play. A boy in my class came up to me and took my bear, throwing it on the ground with a laugh. The teacher had to pull me off him.

Age 7

My dad started me in art classes. I was thrilled.

Age 8

My painting won a contest. My parents proudly clapped in the audience. I felt the joy rise up in my chest.

Age 9

Kairi had a birthday party. I wasn't invited. I watched enviously as all my classmates ran and played together. A brown haired boy looked up to see me watching from my window across the street. I quickly ducked. I stared at my refection in the mirror across the room and wondered what was wrong with me.

Age 12

My mom yelled at my dark makeup and outfit. She forced me into the clothes she bought and pulled my hair into a tight ponytail. There, now you look perfect. I didn't even feel like myself.

My classmates laughed at me. She's so weird. Look at the way she dresses!

Age 13

I signed up an art class. I almost felt like myself again.

I got an F on a test. I doodled around it and turned it into a lion. I smiled.

Age 14

My dad died. I couldn't paint anymore.

Age 15

I brought home another F. My teacher was disappointed in me. My mom yelled. I couldn't make anyone happy. I couldn't be perfect.

Age 16

I sat alone in the cafeteria. I watched as the Kairi, Naminé, Sora, and Riku chatted and laughed. I wished I could be their friend.

I took a long drag and coughed. It felt so good to not be myself.

Age 17

I took a job working at a popular clothing store. Naminé and Kairi frequently came in to buy clothes. I looked at myself in the mirror. I wished I looked like them.

I didn't eat anything. I lost five pounds. It wasn't enough. It was never enough.

Age 18

Kairi and Naminé came in to buy prom dresses. I jealously watched as they tried on dresses. I stole a dress. The manager caught me. While he led me out, I saw Kairi and Naminé recording the ordeal on their phones. Everyone at school found out.

I could never be perfectperfectperfect.

Age 19

I slid a razor across my wrist, watching the blood ooze out. I let out an empty laugh as the blood dripped down my arm. I made another thin cut and another and another.

And another.

They look like redredred ribbons.

I drank away my sorrow.

Age 20

My hand hung limply off my bed, dripping blood onto the floor. I rolled to my side and stared blankly at the wall. A worn out bear sitting on a desk stared at me. I started to cry.

I got out a pair of scissors and cut my hair short. I stared at my handiwork in the mirror. It was the first time I smiled at myself.

Age 21

I started to paint again.

Hi, aren't you in my class? Did you cut your hair? It looks really nice. My name is Olette. I smiled and introduced myself.

Age 22

A woman saw my painting and offered to put it in her art show. My mom came. She smiles a true smile at me for the first time in years.

Age 23

A pair of bright blue eyes gleamed at me, its owner's lips curved into a tentative smile. Did you draw that? It's beautiful.


You still up?

An arm snaked itself around my middle; a face nuzzled the nape of my neck. I turned my head to meet a pair of blue eyes. Before I could answer, a cry from the hallway cut me off. I kissed him softly, promising I'd be back. I grabbed the teddy bear from the chair before heading out of the room.

I entered the room across the hall and smiled at the young boy sitting in the middle of the bed. My eyes met the strikingly similar pair of blue eyes under a mop of untidy blonde hair. He was a replica of his father. I whispered quiet words to him, stroking his hair attempting to lull him to sleep. His bright blue orbs slowly flicker close before I heard his breathing calm. He holds the teddy bear tightly.

Xion? Is everything okay?

Roxas appears in the doorway. I give him a tender look before turning my head to focus my gaze on my child. I smiled.

Perfect. Everything's prefect.