I stand looking at my reflection of my full length mirror my twin sister by my side we are, the same height with blond hair the only small difference of our appearance is that my sister has deep pure blue eyes and mine are two different colours my one the same colour as hers and the other a green. Nobody knows why it happened but I like it, it is not all that attractive but I still like it because it makes me unique not only from my sister but from everyone. We even wear similar outfits though we don't mean to it normally just happens we don't even get dressed in the same room and we still match our cloths. "Ready?" my sister asks I smile in the mirror at our reflection "Ready" I answer as we start walking down the stairs of our large house.
We come from a huge family there are ten children altogether in one house my sister and I are the sixth youngest out of all of us. Our parents try their best to keep track of us all but as you can imagine it is impossible so we have a few nannies to help out here and there. There are four cars in the house obviously my parent's cars and then the oldest of all our siblings. We grab our school bags from the line of them at the front door and thank one of the nannies for our lunches we stand outside waiting for Rodney our older brother at his car. We watch as our sibling file out saying goodbye to each other as they start the day. My sister and I are sort of the odd ones out here we don't really fit in with our other eight siblings I don't really mind but sometimes I get the sense June does.
I lean back against the car as June puts on her circular sunglasses Rodney comes around the corner his dark hair messy and his grey eyes bright I like Rodney he my sister and I get along great but other than him and of course June, I don't really get along with any of my other siblings. He smiles at us as he opens the driver's door and says "Come on let's get going." It's Junes turn to ride shot gun so I slid into the back seat Rodney starts the engine and his favourite CD immediately starts to blare he flips a cigarette out of his pack and lights it quickly I wonder again if my parents know he smokes yet I doubt it I don't think they would let him if they did but you never know in my house. Rodney parks the car smoothly in the schools lot. We all get out and Rodney starts off toward his first class leaving June and I standing side by side in the lot.
My eyes skim through the children, no one I recognise. "June!" a voice shouts from across the lot "May" he calls my eyes search for the voice and I see Andy standing with someone else by his side he waves in our direction. Andy isn't really my friend I don't have that many friends but he and June get along really well so we start toward him in unison.
He leans against the trunk of a silver car, sunglasses on and leather jacket open he is rather good looking but I've learnt to stop caring if a guy is good looking or not, I would never stand a chance in any case. June skips over to him and gives him a little hug she pretty and I suppose because she has normal eyes guys seem to like her more than me. Andy gives me a little smile and for a little moment I wonder if he is only nice to me because he has a thing for my sister but still I offer him a smile. Not one with dimples or teeth but still it is a smile June always smiles to show off her dimples and teeth but for me I cannot just smile like that whenever I like it has to kind of have a reason.
"Twins this is Blake my cousin from Germany he moved here during the holidays" Andy says as he gestures to the boy next to him. My eyes drift to black slowly he smiles a little as I look at him and I can't help but wonder what he's thinking: that chicks eyes I freaking creepy? Don't look at me you weirdo? He just lifts two fingers in greeting and looks directly at me. Which makes me feel immediately uncomfortable I hate it when people look at me because I know the only thing they can see are my eyes, so I look away. Blake is good looking too he has light hair and green eyes he is tall and well-built and when he smiles a small dimple forms only slightly.
I can feel his eyes still steady on my even though I have looked away I feel a need to hid my eyes so I move my hair to make my hair form a curtain hiding my whole face from them. June who now sits on the front of the car with confidence leans forward and asks "So what is Germany like?" Blake shrugs a little looking at her now "It really isn't that much different to be honest" he speaks slowly and quietly his voice is gentle and low "But it's much prettier" he says and he says it like he is proud. "So why in the world would you choose to move down here?" she says and I now she thinks he's hot because of the sweet and flirty tone in her voice. Blake however doesn't seem to notice because he just answers casually "My family thought it would be better to move down here with the rest of the family"
I am not very interested in conversation and would rather not be here in any case so I slowly turn and start toward the building thinking they won't notice because they never do. I can see my first class already from where I stand and I only wait about a minute before taking my seat right at the back as the bell rings. People come in slowly and I just sit back and watch them unnoticed June comes in with the two boys shadowing her all three laughing June takes her seat on my right still laughing Andy sits next to her on the far end of the room so the only seat open for Blake is on my left. I don't react to any of them and they don't react to me. My sister has always been more popular than me I don't really know why, people just don't seem to connect with me the same way they do with June it used to bother me a lot but I have learnt to control my jealousy as I've gotten older and I barley ever even get jealous any more.
I can still see why I got jealous but ever since my sister told me I was just being jealous of her I have pushed it aside. Blake glances at me but I act as though I don't notice he looks like he is about to start a conversation but he seems to think better of it and just looks away as our teacher marches into the room dropping a pile of books onto his desk making everyone jump. "Good morning students" he says I smile a little it is the same greeting we always get from him after holidays "I trust you all had a fantastic holiday!" he says enthusiastically I can see someone further mocking him with her friend. I sit back and listen to his lecture which he always after holidays so school hasn't really changed all that much during the break. We all fall into the same old routine, June happy and giggly around all the boys, Lucy Fryer gossiping with Jenny, Megan smoking with the same pot head of a boyfriend she's had for years and me well I just go unnoticed by everyone moving silently with the crowd.
I stand before my locker putting my books away neatly I look at the door for a little while before opening it I remember brainstorming the art project to think of a theme for the locker door. It is painted plain black with dotted lights around the edges with multiple colours the of it was a picture of the moon and sun intertwined in bright colours I still love it, it is the best art work I have ever done. "Hey" a voice says from behind me I turn around a book in my hand I look at Blake for a second before saying "If you're looking for June I think she's in the garden with the fountain" I start to turn back around but he only smiles at me a little his eyes staring square into mine making me feel a little uncomfortable.
"I wasn't looking for your sister" he says and I raise my eyebrows "Oh" is all I say I don't know what else to do or say so I just turn back to my locker putting my last book away I slam it shut and sling my backpack over my right shoulder I turn around thinking Blake has moved on but he just stands there looking at me his hands in his pockets and his eyes confident as they look directly at me. I sigh and cross my arms I can't help but feel a little annoyed. I look back at him fighting the erg to hid as I usually do "What are you doing after school?" he asks ignoring the way I look at him I shrug a little "Homework" I say bluntly he laughs a little "Well why don't we do our homework at our place?" he asks I am shocked normally it is June who is asked out not me.
"Sorry I can't" I say back not dropping the tone "Oh come on it will be fun" he say with a little smile I laugh "Right cause what's more fun than a pile of math homework" I say back sarcastically "I think you would be surprised you see I can make anything fun" he says I raise my eyebrows "Really? Well now I am sort of curious" I say slowly putting my finger to my chin "Great I'll see you after school then" he says as he walks away I shake my head laughing a little.
Blake drives a small car it still smells new and the soft leather seats are a creamy kind of colour the car looks as though it was built to be used on a race track. He drives fast and it makes me on edge I sit clutching the seat with my hands every time we get too close to a tree or street light I flinch or scream into clamped teeth and he only laughs and tells me to relax that it will be fine. "Won't your parents mind me just pitching up?" I ask when he finally slows down a little I look at him but he only stares at the road and shakes his head "They won't be home" he says he says it casually but still his voice takes on a strange tone I shrug a little but I can't lie it disturbed me a little to think I was going to this boys house I barely knew and his parents weren't going to be home.
He could do whatever he wanted with me and no one would know I all of a sudden want to be in Rodney's car with June on the way home I had told them I was going over to his house and Rodney had made sure I had my phone and a can of pepper spray which I gladly take with me everywhere. Blake pulls the drive way of a house it has a huge garden with pretty plants everywhere. I hop out of the car quickly and grab my bag we walk up to the house through the well decorated garden and into the house Blake holds the door open for me. "Come on I'll give you a tour" he says the house is not big we start in the living room which goes into the dining room where we leave our bags then he grabs us some lunch from the small kitchen shows me his room and his parents room but walks right past the room across the hall from his. "Who's room if this?" I ask stopping outside the closed door the letters on it spell out, Chloe.
Blake looks at for a second then just says "My sisters" I smile "Oh is she your older or younger sister?" I ask "Younger" he answers sounding distant I nod "Do you have other siblings?" I ask as I follow him down to the dining room he shakes his head "Nope just the two of us. How about you is it only the twins?" he asks I smile a little "No we're two of ten" I answer I try to make it sound casual but I am waiting for his reaction he stops and looks at me amazed "Wow ten of you guys" I smile and nod "Yup ten of us" I say "So where are you guys on the age scale?" he asks as we sit at the table I take a second to think about it before answering "Sixth" he raises his eyebrows "How old is the eldest?" he asks "She's twenty two" I say slowly thinking about it a little. "Ok and the youngest?' He asks "Um one" I say he sighs a little "Wow" he says I smile and nod because I know exactly what he's thinking.
"So do you like it living in a house with some many other children?" asks as we get our books out I nod though I am not sure if I really do like it. We start our work in silence but after a while I can feel him looking at me again and I lift my eyes he smiles and holds my gaze "You have beautiful eyes" he says suddenly and I can't stop from laughing "What?" he asks gently still looking into my eyes I shake my head "No one likes my eyes" I answer still laughing a little Blake looks at me in disbelief "How could anyone not like your eyes" he asks he sounds surprised to hear it which makes me smile a little and I shrug "I don't know I think it kind of… scares them" I say looking away from him "People are scared of strange things" I say slowly thinking of how a girl wants told me I was a witch because I had two different coloured eyes. He shakes his head and I hear a clock chiming and I know I should go.
His house is blissfully quite mine is never like that and I don't want to go back Blake is nice he has been making me laugh and instead of telling me I am cursed with hideous eyes he complemented them. I get up any way and say "I really have to get back to my house" as I clear away the books. He stand up to help me and sighs a little "Your probably right my parents will be home soon" he says and he carries my bag for me to the car I slid in and he shuts the door for me. We drive in silence and it sounds strange to my ears there is hardly a moment of silent around my house at all I direct him left and right through the maze of roads when we have parked behind my brothers car he turns to look at me.
"What's your name?" he asks I laugh "May" I say "No your full name" he answers me rolling his eyes "Oh May Amelia Grace Lockley" I say it fast with a little smile at the end. "Amelia Grace" he says with a smile "Pretty" he says "Yeah I like it better than May but I've never actually asked people to call me that" I shrug. I unbuckle my seat belt and pick my bag "Thanks" I say as I open the door "See you tomorrow" he say through the open window I smile and nod as I walk up to the door. I hear screams and almost trip over two of my younger brothers as they come hurling around the corner the one of them has a hand full of mud and the other has no shirt on with muddy hand marks all over him.
I shake my head annoyed but I just keep walking only to find more chaos inside Lara sits on the stairs listening to music while Brent and Pip run up and down the stairs chasing each other. Edith and Mara scream as they go flying down the staircase on their matrasses. I sigh and hook my thumbs into my backpack it does not surprise me to see any of this at all. Mara comes and hugs me "Was that your boyfriend?" she ask smiling almost looking excited but I shake my head "No, no he's just a friend" I say. Pip stops running and giggles as he kicks Lara pushing her down the stairs, I really don't mind my siblings playing but they are surprisingly vicious sometimes "Pip!" I shout as Lara sits up shocked she starts crying as soon as she sees the graze on her knee and scrape on her arm.
Pip turns to look at me and sticks his tong out making an annoying sound as I pick Lara up. Pip is one of my least favourite he seems to only like hurting the others I rub Lara's back soothingly and take her to the nearest bathroom, I fix up her saws and she goes sprinting away like nothing happened. I sometimes don't like being one of the eldest since it pretty much means I have to take care of all the younger ones. I sigh and head toward my room I am exhausted and don't even feel like eating, I collapse on my purple covered bed with a giant sigh. The roof is only light by the sliver of light of the moon streaming in through a little gap between the curtains. I am almost drifting to sleep when June comes in through the door that joins our separate room she lies down next to me on the bed it is only big enough for the two of us to lie there.
"So what's Blake like?" she asks her voice is light and happy like she always sounds when she talks about a boy. I roll my head to look at her and she looks at me with a smile "He seems nice" I say slowly she nods "Mm nice enough for a second date?" she asks I shake my head even though she can't see me "I barley know him we just did homework" I say "Ok.. But does he have.. Potential?" she asks I laugh a little "Ok good night June" I say getting up and starting toward the bathroom. "Oh come on May you haven't been interested in a boy before" I turn around my hand on the handle of the bathroom door. "That's because none of them have been interested in me" she says sitting up on her elbows. I shake my head and continue to the bathroom.
The sun is bright in my eyes and my alarm beeps loudly I groan rolling over slapping my hand on the snooze button of my alarm clock. I slip into a pair of black skinny jeans, tommies and a red tank top I brush my teeth quickly and scoop my hair into a bun. I open the door to my sisters room at the same time she does we laugh a little and start down toward Rodney's car I slid into the front seat and enjoys the silent rid to school. Rodney's car slows to a stop and we all jump as usual Rodney goes his way June hovers for a little while but I know she wants to go to one of her friends not far from here so I just look at her and smile and say "See you later" she gives me a thankful smile and says "Ok".
I turn quickly and walk away from her dumping my bag at my first class as I walk. I don't have to tell my feet where to go they just carry me there and soon I am sitting on a bench under a huge pin tree in my favourite garden, it has no centre piece like the rest, not a fountain or a large sculpture instead in the centre is the large pin tree with wooden benches forming a circle around it. I sit on the bench that has mushrooms growing beneath it and a cute little garden gnome; there is a tiny trickle of water with a bridge over it that I face. The garden is full of flowers and shrubs everywhere I still don't know why it is my favourite garden but it always has been. I hear a crunch on the floor behind me and turn to watch as Black slides onto the bench next to me he says nothing like he knows I don't want to speak and so we sit side by side just looking at the little stream.
"This is my favourite garden" I say slowly my voice sounding distant Blake turns and looks at me again into my eyes but this time I don't really mind. "You know there's a movie I think you would really love you should come over and watch it today" he says after a while I smile and shake my head brushing a lock of hair behind my ear "Sorry it's my sisters birthday party after school" I say he frowns and then flashes me a mischievous smile "What?" I ask laughing a little at his ridiculous grin. He shrugs "Who said anything about watching it after school" he says casually I raise my eyebrows in shock "Did you just imply we ditch school?" he smirks at me a little. "Yes I did" he says humorously.
"Are you insane?" I ask my eyes wide "Yes" he says and he grabs my hand pulling me off the bench quickly. I start to laugh I am not sure what else to do as we run through the halls; he grabs my bag before we slip easily out the school and into his car. I sigh I can't help but feel nervous as we drive along the road "Do you do this often?" I ask turning to look at him he shrugs "What ditch?" he asks "No take strange girls to your house and make them ditch school?" I ask he shakes his head "Nah your just a special strange girl" he says I laugh and he smiles as we pull into the drive way. He holds the large door open for me and I smile a thanks.
"Hear come sit" he says gesturing to the coach I slid onto the seat without a protest and relax against the leather as he sits next to me to watch the movie, and that's all we just sit next to each other watching in silence. The credits start to roll and he turns to look at me expectantly "What?" I ask after a while "So what did you think?" he asks I had to admit I did really like the movie so I smile and say "Amazing" he grins "I know right" he says.
"So now we should get back to school" I say looking down at my legs bent under me on the coach he sighs dramatically "You really have never ditched have you?" he says and I shake my head "No we don't go back to school" he says after a while "We just chill" I roll my eyes as he leans back on the coach to make it look like he's "Chilling". It falls silent for a moment and Blake stops the credits "So Amelia" he says after a while and I am a little impressed he remembers that I like that name better so I look at him smile and say "Yes Blake". "Can you name all your siblings?" he asks I frown "Yes I think I can" I laugh he waits and I start I name them all using my hands to count when I am done and I hold ten fingers up he gives me a round of applause.
"So what's it like to live with so many siblings?" he asks and I touch my finger tip to my chin no one had really asked me "It's… Very entertaining" I say after a moment of thought he nods "Well I can imagine but do you like it" I bite the inside of my cheek for a second before saying "Not always" he nods understandingly. "So what about the twin part of it?" I shrug "What do you mean?" I ask "You know, do you like having a twin?" I laugh a little "Well I guess so" I shrug he gives me this strange crooked smile and I can see another question forming so before he can ask it I say "Waiy if I have to answer all your questions you have to answer some of mine" I say he shrugs "Ok I'm an open book" he says I shake my head "I doubt that everyone has a secret" I say he smiles again and then waits obediently for me to ask a question and I have one that I had ever since he so much as spoke to me but I am a little afraid to ask it so I move on to the next one.
"Was there a girl back in Germany?" I ask after a long time of back and forth questions in my mind. He smiles at me a little shy and I feel like I shouldn't have asked but he still answers "For a while" he says "But we broke up quite a bit before I came here" he says and I just nod. I wait for him to ask me a question getting nervous the longer he takes "How about you any boys?" he asks and I shake my head "Nah I leave that to June" he gives me this strange knowing kind of look but I just move on "What's your favourite colour?" I ask unable to think of another question. "Blue and green" he answers quickly "Yours?" he asks I frown a little "I don't have one" I say slowly "Ok what about animals what's your favourite animal?" he asks "Um a white leaped" I say he nods.
"How about you?" I ask "I've always liked turtles he says I smile a little at that. "Ok" he says and he rubs his hands together probably just for effect "So…" he starts but then stops like he is not sure how he should ask it "Why do you hide away?" he asks after a long pause I raise my eyebrows "Hide away?" I ask he nods "Like you don't talk to new people, I've noticed you don't like people looking at you like you feel uncomfortable and you just sort of don't seem to like… Being around people" he says slowly I shrug again but I think of the answer "I just like being alone" I say it simply but there is a little more to it. He nods after a while and I feel a little daring so I ask "Why me?" he frowns and looks so confused I get a little nervous "Never mind" I say "No what do you mean why you?" he asks I shrug "well guys kind of like my sister more than me so why did you want to talk to me not her"
I feel so uncomfortable and shy I try to sink into the coach I let my hair curtain my face and I look down at my hands but he only smiles "Because your…" he seems at a loss of words and a few pop into mind freakish, weird, creepy but what he chooses is none of them instead he says "Your beautiful and unlike your sister you don't rub it in everyone's faces and your eyes" he says and I kind of want to laugh at it but I am too busy blushing. I don't push away the sheet of hair hiding my face as he asks "Why do you let your sister push you aside?" I am shocked "She doesn't" I say after a while and he shakes his head "Yeah she just ignores you around people, why do you let her" I think for a while slowly realising what he means.
"I guess I just was always more comfortable with it" I say slowly I feel like I am betraying her for a second but I push the thought out of mind. We spend the day asking each other questions and listening to music and sitting in the beautiful garden. I check my watch, we are still sitting at the pool with our feet brushing the step I jump out so fast I splash Blake with water he looks up at me surprised "What's wrong" he asks . "My sister's party I am late!" I say in a panic I run to get my bag and Blake follows me in about two minutes we are both in the car me out of breathe. "How fast can this thing go?" I ask and he grins at me and it crosses my mind I should never have asked but we go whizzing away so fast I clutch the seat. My fingers digging into the leather I squeeze my eyes shut I am so afraid we will crash I cannot watch after a little while I feel the car slow beneath me and he soothingly says "It's ok you can open your eyes now" I open my right one first and see that we are already parked outside my own house.
I can hear children's voices in the backyard and music "Do you wanna come in?" I ask and he smiles a little "They won't mind?" he asks I shake my head "Not at all" I say so we both get out the car and I lead him through the house to the back yard which is crowded with people. Two of my younger siblings come screaming toward us and smack run into me almost toppling me over as they hug me and shout "May!" with excitement "Hey guys" I say back to them but they are already chasing each other around the garden I look over my shoulder at Blake who is standing right behind me and roll my eyes. "May" June says I am not looking at her but just by the tone of her voice I can tell she is annoyed or angry "Hey June" I say carefully "Oh how nice your brought Blake along" she says bitterly and I can't help but flinch a little "Can I speak to you alone" June asks sternly.
I exchange a glance with Blake before following June into the living room. "What is wrong with you!?" she says loudly I let my hair drop trying to hide my face again shrinking slightly into the shadow of our large house. "Don't do that!" she snaps and my head lifts immediately "Do what?" I ask quietly "God May you know what!" she spits out at me. I don't stop doing anything I just stand still like stone. "What were you thinking today?" she asks furiously I frown "What do you mean?" I ask slowly carefully. I can't help but feel like a small child being scowled by a parent "I mean what were you thinking ditching school with that boy!" she says she sounds disgusted with me "You ditch school all the time with boys" I point out she looks at me steadily "That is different" she says and I shake my head "How?" I say "You at least knew them" she says back.
I sigh slowly "I'm sorry June but I guess it's ok now because you know him" I say and I am about to leave but she cuts me off "No it is not ok" she says firmly "Then why is it ok when you do it?" I ask she smiles a little "Because I know when a boy is using me" she says bitterly and I flinch again "What the hell do you mean!" I ask "Oh come one you can't possibly think he really likes you?" she asks and her voice sounds sugary sweet as she turns on her heals and bounces away. Tears fill my eyes I am not sure why but she is the only one who can bring this reaction out of me I sink into the very corner of the room it is dark and kind of cold but I just slid down and roll up into a tiny ball. I sit there for a while listening to what is going on outside until I feel someone sit next to me. I lift me head but leave my hair around my face, Blake sits next to me his left leg bent and his left arm draped over it where his right leg is stretched out it feels like he is creating a barricade between me and the rest of the room.
"Is she always like that?" he asks after a long pause I just shrug "Not always" I say and it falls silent again. "Come on I want you to introduce me to your family" he finally says stretching his hand out to me as he stands I smile a little at him letting him pull me off the ground. I lead the way into the garden again I catch sight of my eldest sister Allegra she smiles at me and waves me over, I love Allegra though we don't see much of her because she has moved out with her boyfriend. "Come on" I say looking over my shoulder at Blake we walk together over to Allegra she looks pretty her brunet hair has honey coloured highlights, her nails have French manicures and her grey eyes look bright and happy as always she hugs me with one hand and smiles at me.
"You look lovely May" she beams at me I smile back shyly "Thanks" I say. Allegra's attention drifts to Blake and I look at him and say "Blake this is my eldest sister Allegra, Allegra this is a friend of mine Blake" I say Blake stretches his arm out and they shake hands Allegra with an extra wide smile. "Well if you plan to introduce him to everyone I won't keep you, it will take a while" Allegra says and I nod and keep walking "Oh Rodney" I say catching Rodney's arm before he walks right past me he stops and looks at me "Yeah twin?" he asks me using the nick name my sister and I have gotten here "This is Blake, Blake this is my third eldest sibling Rodney" I say and again they shake hands and we move on. I introduce him to everyone, Mara, Edith, Brent, Lara and Pip. I catch sight of my mother and father standing in the back corner together watching the party from a distance. "Mom, Dad this is Blake, Blake my parents" I say Blake shakes their hand and the three of them make small talk for a while before Pip cuts Edith's hair and they both go running. I laugh and shake my head as I watch Edith start screaming at Pip.
"I should get going" Blake says, we sit in a grassy patch under one of the trees in the garden I nod "Yeah" I say and we both get up the party has quietened down most people have left already and it is starting to get dark. I walk with Blake to the door where June stands saying good bye to some of the guests her smile fades immediately when she sees us approaching but we both ignore her. Blake stops in the door way and turns to look at me "Can I lend your phone for a second?" he asks I frown but when he winks I know he is only asking for Junes benefit and I hand it to him. He fiddles with it for a little while and he takes his phone out too when he hands it back to me he looks satisfied even though we didn't get a reaction out of June "Well I guess I'll see you Monday" I say but before I turn back around he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer I hug him back and we do it for long. I know he is watching June over my shoulder just for his entertainment but I can't help but like the warmth and strength of his body against mine.
A few hours later everyone has left and the house has been cleaned up and our entire family sits at the massive dining table we have finished eating but we all sit chatting over ice-cream in our pudding bowls. My mom stands and nods at my father who sits at the opposite end of the table at her command my father shouts "Hey!" to get us all to silence everyone looks at my mother with wide eyes mom beams at all of us she looks excited she opens her arms "Everyone I have great news" she says happily. I exchange a worried look with Allegra who sits across from me "I am pregnant" she says she sounds excited but no one reacts right away. After a while the younger ones start to clap like they don't know what else to do.
"Eleven" Allegra says all the light and chime from her voice has disappeared and I know she is upset. "What" my mom asks as the noise dies down around us "Eleven" Allegra repeats my brain clicks and I know what she means eleven children but my mother doesn't get it or she pretends not to. "Eleven children you are going to have eleven children" Allegra says slowly she does not look or sound happy but my mother just beams again "I know right" she says excitedly Allegra shakes her head "No" she says "How could you have another child?" she asks. "Come on Allegra your old enough to know that does not mean it will take any attention away from you" Allegra jumps out her seat at that "So that's all you have to assure all of them" she says gesturing to all of us "When really there is so much more that baby will take away" she says, she stands as straight as a pole.
But I sit frozen still "What do you mean by that" my mother sounds angry "I mean do you really have enough money to support another child" Allegra says I look from her to my mother "Allegra" my mother gasps "Not here honey" she disguises her fear in a sweet sugary coating. "No" I say slowly everyone seems surprised to see me speak up "We deserve to know" I continue Allegra nods her head agreeing with me. "Ok time for bed" my father announces all my younger siblings scream "Ah" in unison but they know better than to protest they all clear away quickly leaving only Rodney, Allegra, June my parents and I. "You two as well" my father says looking at June and I but I shake my head "No" I say "Like I said already we deserve to know" I say firmly and stay seated.
My father looks angry but he does not say anything Allegra still stands in the same position as my mother picks up a few dishes and trails off to the kitchen. Allegra's eyes follow her all the way there and she walks swiftly to the kitchen behind her I get up and follow her "Allegra I do not appreciate you making that comment in front of all of them" my mother says sounding calm. Allegra is almost shaking with fury "I think they should know there futures are pretty much stuffed because youdon't know how to use a condom" she spits at my mother sounding disgusted I want to laugh but I don't I just watch my mother dump the dishes in the sink and whip around to look Allegra in the eyes "Don't you dare comment on such crude things in my house!" she says firmly pointing her index finger at Allegra.
"You're house" Allegra snorts "You don't even know what's going on in your house" she says my mother stands up straighter "Of course I do" she says strongly "Oh really?" Allegra says "Yes"
"Well then I suppose you know how many times May has called me this week?" she says I try counting in my head I've spoken to her eight times in five days I think. My mother just stares at Allegra "Or that June has been dating the same guy for a year now" she continues "Or what about that boy Blake have you ever heard of him before today?" she asks "Oh and Lara did you know she won her tournament on Tuesday?" I don't think my mother even knew Lara did tennis. "What about Brent he lost his favourite teddy and hasn't been able to sleep so he has been in Rodney's room for the past two weeks" she says.
My mother pinches the bridge of her nose it is no doubt she didn't know about any of these things "I can go on forever and I don't even live here!" Allegra says my mother looks pail and sick for a moment but she pulls herself together and looks right at Allegra. "Exactly you don't even live here so you shouldn't even have the right to talk to me like that in my house" my mother says. Allegra sighs "I suppose there is no getting through to you" Allegra says my mother looks broken by the things Allegra told her but I know she could have done much worse. She could have told her about the many times I'd sat on the phone begging her to take me out of this house or the time I'd asked her to take me to my fist date a few years ago.
"Look this baby is coming whether you like it or not" my mother says firmly again "And you can either be here to help me or you leave this house and never come back!" she shouts I gasp and flinch at the seriousness of her voice. Allegra laughs but it is not the sweet soft laugh I love it's taunting and mocking "You don't really think I care at all what happens to you" she says and again I flinch "The only reason I keep coming back is because I can't help but hope that one of these children you have stuffed up has opened their eyes and seen what is really going on here" she say I frown I don't know what's really going on here and I get the feeling we are no longer talking about the new baby.
A little voice in the back of my head screams at me "I don't want to know what is really going on here" and before I can hear it I sneak out the room I know if I go upstairs I will be able to hear the shouting so I make a run for the garden. It's quite and cold outside I shrink into the shadows and press against the wall hugging my legs to my body. My phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out with one hand there are two missed calls both from Blake I frown when did he get my number I wonder, but then I remember him asking to lend my phone. I sigh the last time he phoned was only five minutes ago long after I turned my phone on silent before dinner I don't call him back I just let my phone lie on the grass next to me.
I bow my head so my forehead rests on my knees and in about a second I am crying I feel like a small child who cries because people have been fighting. My phone starts to buzz next to me and press it to my ear "Hello?" I ask "Amelia" Blake says on the other end it sounds like a little sigh and that makes me smile but before I can answer him I am crying into my phone "What's wrong?" he asks his voice soothing now. I try choke out the words but they don't come so he sits listening to me crying in silence. After a while I manage to pour the entire story out to him making it sound like nothing but an ocean of words but he seems to follow.
The sun burns my eyes early Saturday morning I sit up in my bed and listen for a moment it sounds like no one is awake yet which is unusual but I suppose the events of last night have left everyone tired. I get out of bed and sneak quietly down to the kitchen I make two cups of tea and look down the hall at Allegra's old room whenever she stays over she still sleeps in that room. The door is closed so I use my foot to knock "Come in May" she says softly I am not shocked she knows it's me I always do this when she stays over. I push the door open and peak inside she is sitting upright in her bed with a smile on her face but that does not hide the tears stains on her face I know she must have cried silently to herself last night.
I put the cup on her bedside and crawl into the other side of her double bed. At first the room is silent and we just sit there in our own thoughts but soon Allegra looks at me and says "I am sorry about last night" I shake my head "No it's ok she had to hear it I say" she nods but then shakes her head "But I could have done it in a different way" she says I shrug though "I think you did it the right way" I say "I noticed you left" she says "Yeah" I shrug and she leaves it at that.
"So tell me about that boy, Blake" she grins at me and I smile shyly back "He's a friend" I say slowly she laughs and bumps my shoulder with hers "Oh come on he's cute" she says I laugh a little "Yes, yes he is" I say with a nod. "But we've only known each other for a week" I say she shrugs "Well he doesn't seem like a time waster" she says. I can't help but smile a little "So there is a rumour there's been twin drama" Allegra says I look at her with my eyes raised it still surprises me at how much my entire family gossips.
"Well I don't think she really likes Blake" I say slowly Allegra nods "Come on let me hear it from my favourite sister first" she eggs on I laugh "I thought we weren't supposed to choose between our siblings" I say quoting my father she rolls her eyes "You can't tell me you love me equally as much as you love Pip" she gasps dramatically and I laugh shaking my head she's right though I don't think I could love anyone of my siblings as much as I love her. So I shrug and tell her about the fight June and I had she doesn't say anything until I am finished she just sits silently and listens.
"Well" she says thoughtfully after a while then she looks at me and grins and says "This Blake seems to be a great influence on you" she says I laugh a little thinking of how he got me to ditch school she laughs a little too then says "No I'm serious though even though you guys ditched school he seems to be… bringing you out of your shell" I smile a little at that. "So soon Rodney will be in University" she says and her tone is more serious now I nod "You realize that makes you the eldest in the house?" she says slowly I hadn't thought about that side of it but I shrug "It's tuff" she says "I've been the eldest in this house longer than anyone and with a new baby.." she trails off "It will be even harder" she says I frown "Yeah but don't you think June will take charge" I ask Allegra thinks about it for a second like she is weighing it out then she says "She is not strong enough" Allegra says I cock my head to one side if June is not strong enough I sure as hell am not either.
I sigh and rest my head back "And you think I am?" I ask, Allegra nods "Well the new you is" she says confidently I am not sure what she means but I don't say anything. "No one will be able to prepare you for it but I can at least warn you" she says sounding distant.
My phone buzzes, I am sitting outside with Allegra our feet in the pool I am trying to enjoy the last few hours with her before she goes back home to her boyfriend I look down at my phone and open the text from Blake.: Hey can I pick you up on two hours? Is all it says I check my watch two hours exactly the time Allegra is leaving so I turn to look at her and say "Do you think you could drop me off at Blake's house on your way home?" I ask she smiles "Sure where does he stay" I shrug "I think you pass his street on your way" I say she smiles "Ok cool" she says I smile and turn back to my phone: I'll see you in two hours my sister is dropping me off at your house. I say and I turn my phone off so it's just my sister and I. She really doesn't live that but it's hard to get there when you don't have a car. I sigh and lean back on my elbows soaking in the sun.
Blake is sitting on the small brick wall in his drive way as we round the corner I don't have to point at it for Allegra to know it was the house. She pulls in and he grins at us I smile back and turn to look at Allegra, she lifts her sun glasses and raises her eyebrows but I just smile and hug her "Bye" I say "Talk to you soon" I say she nods and I get out "Hey" Blake says as he hugs me we stand on the edge of the drive way and watch as my sister turns so she is facing the other side of the road she leans out the window and says to me "May, you guys better start dating so he can drive you down to my house" and then she just drives away I stand there a little shocked but he only laughs. I follow him into his house slowly.
"So what do wanna do we can play board games, watch a movie, listen to terrible music or play video games?" he asks I shrug "Oh let's play chess" I say seeing the glass chess set on the table, so we grab cushions and sit across from each other on the floor he puts music on and we start to play I used to be on the chess team so of course the first game but it was extremely hard. "Wait let's make this more exciting" he says I raise my eyebrows "How?" I ask he gives me a mischievous smile "Ok so if I win you have to do whatever I ask you to do" he says "And the same the other way around" he adds and I nod "Ok fine" I say.
And we keep playing I win at first but I am not sure what to ask him to do so I just say "Skip" he nods and then he wins the next round he leaves me in suspense for a while makes me think he is thinking of a way to torcher me. Finally he says "Drink this" and he gets a bottle of alcohol out and pours it into a small glass. "Oh god" I say but I take the shot glass and wash it into the back of my throat. I cough he laughs and we move on when I win after two other shots I ask him to pour an entire bucket of ice on himself we go outside to do it and I film it I giggle as he runs trying to get warm from the cold he whips off his shirt and flies into the heated pool in one swift dive. I laugh and put my phone down so I can go over to the pool I stand at the edge looking in I can't see him but all of a sudden he is jumping in the water and splashing me I laugh again and squeal.
He smiles at me as I try to wipe the water off my face with my arm. He gets out slowly and starts to walk toward me but I have grown up in a house with boys and I know exactly what he plans to do I start sprinting away still laughing he comes chasing after me and we must cover the whole garden in under five minutes. He is much faster than me though so all I feel when he is close enough, are his strong arms warp around me and then I am off the ground as he easily picks me up from behind. I laugh and squeal at the same time and when I see we are standing above the pool and he is dangling me over the edge I start begging him not to throw me but he just turns me around so we are looking each other in the eyes just for a moment I am silent and just looking at him. Then bam he pulls me closer and jumps in holding me. We separate in the actual water and I kick off the floor to the top I am gasping for air by the time I reach the surface I cough a few times and he is in front of me.
"You ok?" he asks I nod and smile at him he bows his head forward so our foreheads are touching and I am looking right into his eyes. Then very slowly and gently like he is afraid he will scare me away he brushes his lips against mine when I slowly kiss back he is more certain and less careful he pulls me even closer and presses his lips to mine harder I lift my hands out the water and wrap my arms around his neck I hold myself against him and for once in my life I don't care that I am a freak or to different I am just… happy. His hands are on my hips he is gentle but his hands are still steady he pulls away a little only so much so our foreheads are still touching. He watches my eyes for a while kind of intensely but I am not uncomfortable with it for once. I sigh and push away a little more and look down my sister's words burn in my head: "How could he possibly like you?" I ask myself and I feel myself start to shrink again my hair in my face I try to disappear into myself. But I stop when I feel his finger tips on my cheek. He brushes my hair out my face and holds my gaze for a short while before he kisses me again. I kiss him back and decide I don't care what my sister said.
After a while the water gets too cold for us to swim and I start shivering so we decide to go back inside. He grabs us towels from the pool shed and we go in to the house, my clothes are still wet "I'll go get you dry clothes" he suggests and he sprints upstairs he returns moments later he has changed and he carries one of his shirts and a pair of his shorts "Thanks" I say and I slip into the bathroom with the clothes the shirt is like a dress on me but the shorts don't fit so I just leave it the shirt touches my thigh just above my knees so I figure it's fine. I step out the bathroom and give him his shorts back. He smiles when he sees me again then he sighs and says "I have to take you home" I raise my eyebrows at him.
"My parents are on the way home" he says I all of a sudden wish I'd listened to June and he must notice "Don't look so said" he says soothingly and he reaches out to me but I take a step back "You don't want your parents to know about me" I say and I am shocked at how hurt my own voice sounds. His eyes widen and he shakes his head "No Amelia that isn't it at all" he says "Then why have I never seen them and all of a sudden now your parents are coming back I have to leave" I ask he shakes his head again "Amelia you can meet my parents whenever you like just… Not right now" he says "Why?" I ask "Well for starters they don't know I've been bringing a girl here when they're not around and on top of that what will they think if they see you wearing that" he says and I look down at his top I think about it and can't help but laugh at the thought which seems to confuse him. "God you really are a strange girl" he says and with that he grabs his keys and my stuff, wraps his arm around my waist and starts toward the door.
I am quite during the entire car ride back to my house I try to push the thought that he doesn't want me to meet his parents out my mind as he pulls into my drive way. He turns to look at me and frowns "Don't be sad" he says I force smile "I'm not sad" I say but I sound sad and I must look sad he sighs and gets out the car I watch as he walks around the front and opens my door. I get out clutching my clothes to my chest he presses his palm against the base of my spine as we walk up to the door. He stops in the door way and looks at me "Come on what can I do to make you happy again" he asks I shake my head nothing "Because I am happy" I say he frowns at me a little then says "Will it make you happy if I promise you can meet them tomorrow?" he asks I shrug and he gives me a nervous smile "Ok I will pick you up at nine then" he says I smile and bounce my toes a little "Ok" I say and I am a little surprised at how happy I sound. He laughs and pulls me closer with his arm around my waist and kisses me good bye.
I lie on my bed still in his top which I plan to sleep in my mind buzzes with excitement and I jump when the door linking June's and my room creaks open. "May" she whispers into the darkness at first I don't reply but before she turns to leave I say "Yeah" I don't see her shadow move but she plonks down on my bed next to me "I owe you a huge apology" she says quietly to me I don't say anything "I said terrible things and you need to know they weren't true" she says she tacks a breathe and says "You are beautiful and we are equal Blake is lucky to be with you and he definitely likes you" she says I can't help but wonder what she has heard that is making her say these things. "So May I am very sorry for everything I said" she says to me and sit up with excitement "Oh thank god we're talking again I have been dyeing to tell you this" I say I sit cross legged on my bed and she sits up and turns on the light, with a grin she says "Spill" and I do I tell about the whole day and everything.
I sit up in my bed and watch June as she throws clothes from my closet over her shoulder onto the floor and the edge of my bed. "Oh it's about time you woke up" she says without turning to look at me "Where are all you pretty clothes?" she asks I shake my head and say "Your looking at them." She pauses for a moment then as she walks out she says "Hmm" I slam back down on my bed and yawn but moments later she comes back and dumps clothes on my bed "Get dressed" she orders I take one look at the clothes and shake my head "No, no way" I say firmly she gives me a cheeky smile and says "You promised last night I could dress you today" she says I pause for a moment remembering that I did in fact promise.
I sigh and get out of bed I slip the clothes she gave me, on and look at my reflection. She gave me a short black skirt matched with a blood red tank top it looks nice from the front but at the back the top is all strappy. I turn to look at June when our joining door open she gives me a huge grin producing, bright red stilettos they are one of her shorter pare but I shake my head "No" I say firmly but she just rolls her eyes and hands them to me "Put them on" she orders. I obey her sitting on the edge of my made bad and slipping them on the straps get tangled in my toes and June has to help guide my feet. I stand slowly and fall right back down June helps me up "Lean slightly forward and just balance "she says I nod and try to do just that but I stumble forward and then back again.
"Ok I give up" I say firmly and I take out a pair of flats that are the same shade of red. "Ok" I say "I'm ready" June laughs, and I raise my eyebrows at her "We haven't even done you makeup yet" I sigh exasperated and follow her to her dressing table I sit down and let her do my makeup. When she finally steps back and sighs like she is finally happy I turn to look at my face she has done wings on my eyelids and some eyeliner at the bottom of my eyes too, it makes my eyes seem bigger and more striking she has given me only faint gloss and a slight shimmer of eye shadow. "Ok" she says "Now you're ready" she says I smile as I get out of her seat and check my watch Blake could be here any second.
June walks me down to the front door and Blake's car pulls up "Goodbye enjoy" June says as she hugs me goodbye I thank her and then I am out the door Blake stands against his car and he smiles when he sees me coming. "You look lovely" he says and he kisses my cheek I laugh "Yeah June took charge" I say he smiles "I'm glad you two are back to normal" he says I nod and we get into the car. The ride is dead silent and soon we are pulled into his drive way. We walk side by side up the front steps and my hand is on the handle when he says "Amelia wait" I turn and look at him he sits down on the small bench and uses his index finger and thumb to rub his eyes I let go of the handle and sit next to him. "Before you meet my sister" he says and he drops his hands and looks down "I have to warn you" he says and I just sit quietly waiting. He sighs "She has brain cancer Amelia" he says and I freeze I don't know what to say, saying sorry sounds like the worst thing to say so I just stay silent "She doesn't always know what she is saying whatever she thinks, she says" he continues. All of a sudden my brain clicks he is warning me so when she says something about my eyes I won't get offended.
So I smile and say "Great I like honest people". He shakes his head but opens the door for me and follows me in. I can immediately smell bacon and eggs and a really good breakfast "Mom dad" Blake says looking at his parents who stand at the entrance to the kitchen "This is May Amelia Grace Lockley" Blake says putting his palm at the base of my spine I smile at his parents and put my hands out for them to shake "Nice to meet you" I say shaking their hands. "I'll go get Chloe" Blake's father says and he disappears up the stairs.
"Well May I have heard a great deal about you" Blake's mother says I smile nervously "Blake doesn't like his friends meeting Chloe" she says and I have no idea how to answer so I just smile wider. I hear Blake's father talk to Chloe in German my eyes flick to the stairs and I watch Chloe descend slowly she looks weak her body is thin and half her head is shaved, other than that though she seems perfectly normal. I smile brightly at her when she stands only a few feet away she looks nothing like Blake at all.
"Who's she?" she asks in a sought of bitchy tone "Chloe this is May Amelia Grace Lockley" Blake says slowly "May?" she asks and I am about to say yes but then she continues "What, did your parents run out of originality?" she I asks I pause my lips then shrug "Well I suppose after five children they might have" I say she smiles for a moment then says "You have really ugly eyes" she says. The entire room seems to go silent Blake's mother runs to the kitchen, Blake's father freezes in his spot and I feel Blake tense next to me. I don't say anything until she asks "So come on then what's wrong with them?" she asks I feel myself shrinking as I remember how many times I have been asked that and how many people have bullied me about it. Blake steps closer to me so his body is against my back and so I have nowhere to shrink to, Blake says something in German I cannot understand but it sounds harsh. Chloe looks back at me "Blake doesn't like bringing friends home because he is ashamed of me so I guess he doesn't really care what you think of me" she says.
Again I have no idea what to say but Blake says "No actual she wanted to meet you guys" he says it casually but the entire room is tense. "Let's have breakfast" Blake's mother suggests "Yes let's" Blake's father nods and we follow them to the kitchen where there is a table set up with food. It's a little strange to be honest since in my house we all have to fight for food. I take my place beside Blake Chloe sits across from me she is a rather pretty girl but the medication makes her overly skinny and she is extremely pail. We eat in silence and I can't help but be grateful for it. After breakfast Blake's parents insist they clear away so the three of us make our way to the lounge.
I sit next to Blake and Chloe sits in the arm chair she looks tired but she doesn't allow herself to relax. "So you met in school?" she asks I nod and smile "Yeah we did" I say she is quiet for a moment then says "Blake said you have a twin does she also have the freaky eyes?" she asks she doesn't sound like it is supposed to be an attack but I still flinch a little. "No she has very blue eyes" I say slowly "But I thought you were identical" she says "We are just our eyes are different" I answer she shrugs "So she's prettier than you?" she asks I smile a little "I've always thought so" I say Blake shakes his head but stays silent. "Then why the hell did my brother choose you?" she asks and I laugh "I ask myself that question a lot" I say but Blake just shakes his head again.