Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, or the manuals on which this story is based on. Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya, and the manuals belong to LolliDictator/est. 1995. Enjoy!

My third attempt at a manual fic! I promise, this one's here to stay!

-Chapter 1-

A knock came at the door.

"Helloooo? House-keeping!" The familiar voice called through the door. Sweat was rolling down my neck, my hand already outstretched to the aluminum baseball bat sitting by my desk before I heard him.

"Jesus, Gabe! Almost scared me to death there!" I called, giving him the okay to enter.

I waited, counting the seconds before the door opened, sending a stream of bright sunlight down the long staircase to the large basement that served as my bedroom and workspace.

"Haha. It's not my fault you're paranoid." He said, coming down the stairs, holding some coffee and a McDonalds bag. I counted the number of steps he took. Eighteen, as always. Nineteen stairs, but he always jumped off the second-last one. "Jeez, you're looking as reclusive as ever. You need some sunlight."

"Nice to see you too, Gabe. I'm perfectly fine in the comfort and utter safety of this here room." I patted the desk where my computer, Tobias, was sitting.

Tobias was wheezing and sputtering, trying to cough out the next episode of Hetalia: Axis Powers for me to watch.

"What's that you got there?" Gabe asked, looking at the screen. "Aw, no. Anime. You're not one of those stupid weeaboo fans now, are you?"

"N-no, of course not. Just, research for a new story I'm writing." I said, trying to hide the fact that, really, I already had the research I needed two days ago, but I was hopelessly hooked on those five-minute episodes of hilariously inaccurate history.

"Mm-hm. Who's the client this time?"

"Judging by her grammar, and use of "desu", "-chan", "arigatou gozaimasu", "chou kawaii" and "sugoi", a spoiled 13-year-old anime fan, who's got a big wad of cash ready in exchange for a well-written lemon involving her OC and America, a rather annoying, yet popular character from this show, Hetalia." I said. "And quite honestly, it's adorable and funny and somewhat educational, and inappropriate and SO ADORABLE and FRANCE. JUST FRANCE. AND RUSSIA."

"Is it that good? Let me see." He chuckled, dragging his half-broken office chair up to my desk and plugging in his heavy-bass headphones into the headphone splitter and setting his coffee down.

Almost like magic, Tobias perked up, no longer struggling to load the video.

I sighed at the computer. "It likes you more, Gabe." He smirked, reaching into the McDonalds bag and tossing me a cold Bacon'n'Egg McMuffin. I unwrapped my breakfast, and took a bite. It was still good, cold or not.

And so we sat down to watch the video.

Gabe went to reach for his coffee, his fingertips pushing the cup of hot liquid over. The whole process of the cup falling, landing on Tobias, spilling a little and then finally the lid breaking free of the cup and letting all of its contents out replayed in my mind, over and over. Slow motion.

"Oh! Damn it!" Gabe yelled running to go get a towel.

My reaction delayed. I guess the whole moment had to take time to process before I could yell out, "NO! TOBIAS! NO! GODDAMMIT, GABE!"

Tobias' screen blanked out, then came back on, then repeated. He opened a bunch of programs then closed them. Then he opened back to the page, the one that was playing the episode of Hetalia. Gabe came rushing back, towel in hand, scrubbing the keyboard, probably in hopes that it would suck up all the coffee then it would all be fine and it would be like it never happened.

It didn't help at all.

Both my screaming at Gabe, and the fact that he was pressing random buttons. He even pulled off one.

It was hopeless. Tobias' screen, dimming, his life failing. Ending as we know it, he showed one thing.

It was a popup. One that read, in rainbow letters:

CONGRATULATIONS!

You have officially ordered your shiny new HETALIA: AXIS POWERS units!

They will arrive in 1-2 business days.

Have a great day!

Then it went all black. I stared as my lifeless computer. "Goodbye, Tobias." I whispered, feeling actual tears well up in my eyes. Maybe it was all the hard work that was now lost. Maybe it was that Tobias was always a good little computer. It didn't matter, he was gone now.

My name is Kathleene Underwood. I am a budding author, and I am currently writing an M-rated story for a 13-year-old girl. I live in the basement of my house. I am extremely paranoid, and I have OCD for counting the steps that it takes to get down my stairwell, and the seconds it takes to open my door. My only friend is Gabriel Tell, who managed to ruin my computer Tobias and order me some "Units", whatever those are. What the hell.

-End Chapter 1-