I have never been all that lucky, unless, of course you count all the bad luck. And, I guess, this is why it never really surprised me that I would end up this way; sitting alone in my dorm room pining after someone I had no chance with, both because he is an absolute genius while I am barely average and that he basically is the hottest boy in the school. You might be thinking, ya, your life sucks but it doesn't end here. I go to an all boys school and I have only told my closest friends that I am gay, other than that not even my parents know, which is probably for the best considering how they reacted when my sister; harry brought home her girlfriend; Clara for the first time. oh, have I mentioned that Sherlock, aka the hottest boy in school, is my roommate and also the most disliked person in our school due to the fact that if you upset him he will tell everyone about your personal affairs, knowledge which he gained by only a swift glance of your person.
Oh this is completely ridiculous, I thought to myself; deleting what I just wrote. I can't believe I thought this blog would be a good idea. I mean, come on! I can't even write anything remotely personal in fear of one of my classmates finding it. Huh? I look up, startled by the sudden movement to my right. It's Sherlock getting his violin. When did he even get here? It's a good thing that he does not participate in the normal casualties like most people or I'm sure he would have found me out long ago. Sighing, I get up and walk to my desk, getting out my biology textbook and sitting down to do my homework.
Just as I am getting to a particularly interesting section concerning psychosomatic injuries I hear Sherlock place his violin down and after a minute he breaks the silence.
"John, have you got a date for the prom yet?" he says, perfectly casually like he is stating a that it is raining outside
"Why ask? I'm sure you can read the answer in the way I walk or sit, why make me say it?" I snap at him
At this Sherlock looks confused "I thought you said it was rude to deduce people without their permission?"
I immediately regret snapping at him "yes, it is, i just did not think you would listen to me. And no, I haven't got a date. I'm probably just going to go alone; no one I want to go with would want to go with me anyway." I say, still shocked that he had taken my advice to heart.
Sherlock sat on his bed, looking thoughtful for a moment before responding.
"we could always go together, since neither of us have a date"
My heart jumped a little at these words, he couldn't possibly mean that, could he? I could feel my palms become sweaty; a result of the nerves that always seem to pop up in his presence.
"what do you mean?" I question, my voice sounding a lot quieter than normal. I hope he doesn't notice..
"well we are good friends and enjoy each other's company so it is logical that we could attend the prom together since neither of us has someone to go with." comes his answer, accompanied by a tone of voice that says he is not enjoying having to explain himself.
Of course that's what he means. It would make no sense for him to like me; I just don't have that kind of luck.
I pull myself out of my thoughts, realizing that he is still waiting for my reply.
"Sure, sounds like fun" I say, trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice. This is just my luck, of course I would be forced to spend the whole night with Sherlock while he is wearing a suit and not be able to do anything about it.
"I think I'm going to go to sleep now" I say to him, climbing into bed. I feel suddenly exhausted by this conversation and I'm going to have my work cut out for me tomorrow with the whole try-not-to-stare-at-Sherlock-in–his-suit thing during the dance. After all, we're just friends.
It wasn't until my last class of the day when it hit me; sure, we are just going together as friends but I still have to look good. It took me the whole class but I finally decided to wear my black suit. I bought it about a year ago when my aunt got married but it had been a little big on me, I had to hold it up with safety pins keep it from falling down. I shudder at the memory, hoping that it will fit better now as I do not want to spend another night continuously getting poked in places that needles really have no business being.
As soon as the bell rang I head straight to my dorm to try on the suit, after all I only have an hour until I have to meet Sherlock at the dance. This would be a lot easier if I did not share a room with him! Oh well, I think sighing, he will probably spend his time after class at the lab as usual and only come back to the dorm to change minutes before we are to meet.
It has to be here! I did pack it, right?! I can feel panic start to rise from the pits of my stomach as I continue to search my closet, getting more frantic by the minute. Just as I start to think I might have to go to lestrade and beg him for the use of one of his suits I spot it at the very back of my closet, untouched since I unpacked it at the beginning of the year. "Thank god!" I say as I grab the suit and quickly change into it.
Looking in the mirror I smile, sure the suit is not custom fitted but it fits a lot better than last time thanks to rugby building up my muscles. I look good if I do say so myself, but it seems to be missing something... Oh, a tie! Hmm, it seems I will have to go see lestrade after all.
I decide to just wear my suit over to lestrade's dorm, it's not far away and there is only about half an hour left until the dance.
Lestrade looks surprised when he opens his door to find me there.
"oh, john I wasn't expecting you, what are you doing here?"
"I was getting dressed and I realized I don't own a tie, is there any chance you have one I can borrow?" I reply
"huh? Oh sure, I guess." He says, checking his watch "come on in, I think I have one that will match your suit"
Hmm, strange. He seems anxious as he ushers me inside the room, causing me to think maybe he was expecting someone. Sitting on his bed I watched him pull out a tie the exact color of my suit and relief flooded through me, whatever was to happen tonight at least I would look good.
"thanks man, you're a lifesaver" I say, taking the tie.
"no problem. Hey, is it true your going with Sherlock?" he says, seemingly genuine in his interest.
"yup, but before you say anything you should know it's just as friends, there is no way he likes me in that way, I don't think he likes anybody that way."
Lestrade looks surprised at this but lets it go; it seems he has other things on his mind.
"Speaking of Sherlock, have you met his brother? He seems nice, don't you think?"
Ah, so this is what he was getting at. Lestrade must like Mycroft...
"we only met once, but he seemed nice enough. He just wanted to know how Sherlock was doing... I don't think the two of them talk much. Actually, thinking about it now, Sherlock has never even mentioned him apart form to ask what he said to me." I say
Before he has time to say anymore on the subject there is a sharp knock at the door. Lestrade jumps at the sound and his cheeks visibly flush. He looks kind of dishevelled, should I go answer the door for him?
"should I get the door?" I say, reaching for the knob.
He does not answer so take it as a yes and open the door. I am greeted with the sight of Mycroft himself. Standing there in the doorway wearing a custom fitted suit the same dark steel-grey of his eyes he looked almost dashing.
"oh, john. So glad you found a tie." Says Mycroft before peering around me to look at lestrade.
"yes, now that he's got it he was just leaving. Were you not, john?"
"uh,ya.." I say, walking out the door and leaving the two of them alone. Who would have thought it, those two? Well, I'm happy for them I guess, although I don't know how Sherlock will respond to the news. Actually, knowing him he probably knew about it before they did...
I glance at my watch and immediately head towards the dance. Shit! Am already 15 minutes late! I guess i spent more time at lestrade's than I meant to.
It's a short walk and pretty soon I enter the loud, crowded room in which the dance is held. My eyes quickly search out Sherlock's form in and amongst the people; finding him standing alone near the back door. I take my time with walking over to him, using this time to admire the way his tight-fitted dress shirt looks stretched across his chest. Oh god! It's just my luck that he's so damn immune to human emotion..
I catch his eye and wave, leaving the sea of dancing people for a safer spot next to Sherlock.
"sorry I'm late, I got caught up talking to lestrade" I explain.
He just nods and goes back to watching the dance floor
"Him and your brother are practically engaged" I say trying to coax a conversation from him. At this he looks mildly disgusted but stays stubbornly silent. What could he possibly be thinking about?
We stand in comfortable silence for the next few songs. Strange I think, nothing is ever uncomfortable with him, even when were fighting.
"Would you like to dance?"
I stare dumbfounded at him "uh, what?" I say, like the genius I am.
"Isn't that what people do on dates?"
"i haven't got it wrong, have I? I thought you liked to dance"
I can't believe this is actually happening, i have to say something!
"this is not a date." Why did i say that?!
"of course we are, I asked you to came and you said yes. This is a date" he says, starting to look a little insecure.
Again, i just can't think of a response, how was i supposed to know he meant it that way?
"oh, not again" Sherlock says, his voice betraying some of the emotion that his face will not show.
Before I can respond, he pushes past me and out the doors directly to my back.
"Sherlock, wait!"I say, pulling myself together and running after him. once through the doors I look around to see him heading away from the building and in the direction of the woods. I rush to catch up to him, his long less making it harder than it should have been.
"Sherlock!" his name escapes my lips as i grab his sleeve, forcing him to stop.
I can see the pain in his eyes, it's so different than the normal blank iciness that i can't help but stare. It's beautiful but seeing him in pain breaks my heart, surprisingly I find that i would do anything in order to never have to see him like this again.
"I'm sorry. I made a mistake, I thought you felt differently. I swear it won't happen again. Just please, don't leave me." Sherlock says, avoiding my gaze.
"I would never leave you, why would you think that?"
It was a moment before he responded and when he did it was almost too quiet for me to here but i will never forget those words.
"Because I love you"
I search his eyes, trying to make out some form of mockery but there is none. I smile then and pull him close. I feel him relax into the kiss and my whole body becomes hyperaware of what is happening. Pulling away i rest my forehead on his.
"I love you too" comes my breathy reply, breathing softly onto his cheek and lips.